Why is their no jam for my toast? Would it be so damn hard for someone to get me some fucking jam for my god damn toast before it's cold? Is it too much to ask for Strawberry? Damnit! A little strawberry jam for my frickin' toast is all I ask for! For the love of God it's just some fucking jam for my goddamn toast! Is it that big of a deal to get off your fat ass and go to the store to get me some fucking strawberry jam for my goddamn toast! I don't think it's unreasonable at all! Some fucking strawberry jam! That's all I'm asking for!
A game channel would be boring. I'm going to start my own channel. It's going to be called The Bong Channel. A few hours a day of stoners toking off massive bongs, a few hours of QVC style hemp home shopping, homemade bong projects that never get finished (guess why)in the vain of home again with Bob Vila, a program about the history of bongs and toking and some of the people that have paved the way for stoners, a cooking show dedicated to the munchies, and of course most of the time will probaly just be running the Cheech and Chong movies.
I lit a candle and put it in my ass and positioned myslef to lay over a park bench so all the wonderful children who were trick or treating could see the wondrous glowing orbs of my ass.
At the top of the article. This is a technology company marketing the concept that injecting more technology into your company will help it succeed. Pshaw!
If it wasn't for cell phones and pdas and the new hip technology of "a paper bag over the head" I would have a damn tough time pimpin' out your mother.
Why not do what I do which is give the computer to some poor people who will use it for about 15 minutes before it's broken and than they bury it under one of the cars on cinder blocks in their yard next to their three last dead huntin' dogs.
Soemtimes in the bathroom after I'm done "vacating" I just kneel on the floor with my chin on the toilet bowl staring at the part of me that just left my body and wonder. Wonder where it has come from and wonder where it will go. Sometimes I cry. Cry that we will never see another sunset together or share another malted on Horner's Peak. Or share the glee after Mr. Anderson swears at the flaming bag on his porch. Oh, the sweet pain of times that will never be again.
Ever since jeebus.com went bankrupt last year I've been out of work and living mostly off ritz crackers, spray cheese, and ham on hand! I just hope my lee7 skillz are good enough fo da gubmint. It my be a problem that I'm an anarchist and once blew up my hometown post office once.
I'm not sure. My senses were overwhelmed by the searing pain of his man sausage ripping through the tender flesh that is my anus but I believe I saw Vince McMahon on his name tag and patch on the shoulder of his uniform with the initials N.A.M.B.L.A Thanks, for your concern. I'm doing better except the bleeding has started again because I shat out the blood clot from my ass.
I was in line waiting to go on the ride into the big golfball and then he pulled me out of lina and he touched my in my special not touch spot and he took me behind some bushes and raped me bum! Oh, the degradation! I feel so used! At least the bleeding has stopped though.
my ass is bleeding that's why! I'm at epcot crying on a park bench with a bleeding ass! No one will help me! Everyoone has to be scared of the kid with no pants and a bleeding ass! Oh, can't help him! We have to get to the Indiana Jones show or buy some more crap for our fat kids! My ass is bleeding damnit! Someone fucking help me! I only have a few minutes of battery power left on my palm and my ass sure does hurt! Help me! My ASS is BLEEDING like sive!
this is just another case of the man trying to get the lowdown on my driving habits so he can give me speeding tickets to fund his rich white man racist policies, such as planned parenthood, head start, schools, hot lunch program, vaccinations that turn our children into zombies, postal services, secret military installations and weapons programs. Enough of the tyranny! I will drive whatever speed I deem safe for the conditions! I'm tired of insurance compaines conspiring with the government to take away our rights and turns us all into do-gooder fairies!
*sing wit me!*
first thing I remember is when my pappie died
i went a laid his body out in the sun to dry
i kicked my two-legged dog about a mile high
i dropped some acid and an hour later began to fly
i raped some cattle and butchered a goat
skinned my ma and turned her into a coat!
Karma -6 (mostly the sum of moderation done to users comments)
Angela Lansbury has posted 10 comments.
1 I wish... posted on Wednesday April 17, @08:03PM (Score:-1) attached to Unreal Tournament 2003, Now With More Ogg 2 my latest project posted on Monday April 15, @11:37PM (Score:-1) attached to R.I.P for D.I.Y Or Long Live Open Source? 3 I rule!!! posted on Monday April 15, @09:37PM (Score:-1 Replies: 1) attached to eWeek: Apache 2.0 Trumps IIS 4 orgasm posted on Friday April 12, @06:57PM (Score:-1) attached to Burrough's Martian Tales Optioned 5 rumors posted on Friday April 12, @06:54PM (Score:-1) attached to Burrough's Martian Tales Optioned 6 jenny posted on Friday April 12, @06:50PM (Score:-1 Replies: 1) attached to Burrough's Martian Tales Optioned 7 David Himlen was wrong all along. posted on Friday April 12, @06:45PM (Score:-1) attached to Burrough's Martian Tales Optioned 8 spam is actually quite useful in the grand scheme posted on Friday April 12, @02:05AM (Score:0) attached to Poll: What to do with a captured spammer? 9 not quite realistic posted on Thursday April 11, @10:59PM (Score:0) attached to Evangelion Reviewed In LA Times 10 an issue to ponder posted on Thursday April 11, @07:16PM (Score:0) attached to Abit's New Motherboard Lays On The Ports
Me and me pappy rigged up an 'ol atari with some testicle electrodes so that when you play frogger and get run over by a car you get shocked in the nuts! It's hilarious to put the setting on high and watch my little cousin get blasted into the air. The smell can be a little overcoming after awhile though.
I can't quit touching myself. I just can't. I find myself so sexy. I just love to caress my sexy body. I love the feel of my hefty man-bosoms. Oh, to fellate myslef, which is the dream of many a young man like me.
Has 1 in 8 people had sex with an animal?
Dear Cecil:
Hello, I've looked around for documentation and evidence to refute or validate the statement my sociology professor made to illustrate that the world isn't really what it seems. He claims that "one out of every eight humans has had sex with an animal." Please respond if you're going to investigate "the old one in eight" as my professor calls it.
Cecil replies:
Maybe I lack initiative, but this didn't seem like the kind of thing where you could just go out on the street and ask for a show of hands. Instead I camped out in the medical library looking for articles on zoophilia, or the love of one's fellow creatures. Highlights of my results:
According to Alfred Kinsey--you knew I was going to drag him into this--"some 17 percent of the farm boys in our sample had had some sexual contact with farm animals to the point of orgasm, while half or more of the boys from certain rural areas of the United States had had such experience." Kinsey later alludes to the greater tolerance for such things in the west. I take this to mean that in Kinsey's day, when you saw a happy couple walking down the aisle in Wyoming, it was better than even money that the groom had had sex with a sheep.
Not necessarily today, though. Comparative studies of 100 students at the University of Northern Iowa found that in 1974, 11 percent (of college students, mind you) had had sexual contact with an animal, but in 1980 only 3 percent had. Unanswered question: Did this reflect the more conservative national mood heralded by the election of Ronald Reagan or just greater access to color TV?
You think it's just horny farm boys that do this? I have a report about a 42-year-old woman with four children who was five months pregnant. She complained to her doctor of dizziness and fainting and "confessed that approximately 20 minutes prior to her arrival she had had coitus with her German shepherd dog. . . . One or 2 minutes later she began feeling hot, broke out in whelps [!] and felt faint." She was allergic to dog semen, the loser.
Back to statistics. I found a study on the prevalence of bestiality among psychiatric patients, ordinary hospital patients, and psychiatric staff. Its abstract noted: "Psychiatric patients were found to have a statistically higher prevalence rate (55%) of bestiality than the control groups (10% and 15% respectively)." What struck me was not that the first group had a high rate--hey, they were psychiatric patients--but the implication that, as your professor claimed, maybe one in eight ordinary people was doing it with goats. However, it turns out that 2 out of 20 ordinary hospital patients, and 3 out of 20 psychiatric staff (two of them female) had merely fantasized about sexual contact with an animal--none had done anything about it. Still, it's interesting to think that when you're walking down the street looking good, 5 out of 40 people you pass are more interested in your Irish setter.
According to The Encyclopedia of Unusual Sex Practices by Brenda Love (sure), avisodomy is "the ancient practice of having sex with a bird. As the man is about to orgasm he breaks the neck of the bird, causing the bird's cloaca sphincter to constrict and spasm, thus creating pleasurable sensations for the man." Turning the page, I see where "a sheepherder in South Africa evidently became so proficient that he devised a technique whereby he cut two holes at the bottom of his jacket in which to insert the hind legs of sheep to anchor them in place for coitus."
I bet even the sheepherders think this is weird: One fellow with a type of zoophilia called formicophilia "was preoccupied with collecting snails, ants, cockroaches and frogs, and then masturbating while these creatures crawled on his body." After 12 weeks of therapy he was still doing this once a week, but three times a week he was masturbating with conventional porn. Progress!
A study of 51 chronic zoophiles found that for 88 percent of the women the main motive was "emotional involvement," whereas 59 percent of the men said they did it because it was cheaper. Ain't it always the way?
CECIL ADAMS
for a good time call 867-5309
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Only several days ago did I notice the bright red rash that had started on my scrotum seemed to be growing at alarming rate and threatining to engulf my genitals entirely in a itching, flaming red, flaky crust like substance. I would go to the doctor but it is a fifteen minute walk and a whole bunch of forms to fill out and the burning sensation I feel when I urinate strangely turns me on.
Slashdot Mirror
not the first post! hurray! Yes, I rule!
Why is their no jam for my toast? Would it be so damn hard for someone to get me some fucking jam for my god damn toast before it's cold? Is it too much to ask for Strawberry? Damnit! A little strawberry jam for my frickin' toast is all I ask for! For the love of God it's just some fucking jam for my goddamn toast! Is it that big of a deal to get off your fat ass and go to the store to get me some fucking strawberry jam for my goddamn toast! I don't think it's unreasonable at all! Some fucking strawberry jam! That's all I'm asking for!
A game channel would be boring. I'm going to start my own channel. It's going to be called The Bong Channel. A few hours a day of stoners toking off massive bongs, a few hours of QVC style hemp home shopping, homemade bong projects that never get finished (guess why)in the vain of home again with Bob Vila, a program about the history of bongs and toking and some of the people that have paved the way for stoners, a cooking show dedicated to the munchies, and of course most of the time will probaly just be running the Cheech and Chong movies.
I lit a candle and put it in my ass and positioned myslef to lay over a park bench so all the wonderful children who were trick or treating could see the wondrous glowing orbs of my ass.
At the top of the article. This is a technology company marketing the concept that injecting more technology into your company will help it succeed. Pshaw!
If it wasn't for cell phones and pdas and the new hip technology of "a paper bag over the head" I would have a damn tough time pimpin' out your mother.
Why not do what I do which is give the computer to some poor people who will use it for about 15 minutes before it's broken and than they bury it under one of the cars on cinder blocks in their yard next to their three last dead huntin' dogs.
man meat
Soemtimes in the bathroom after I'm done "vacating" I just kneel on the floor with my chin on the toilet bowl staring at the part of me that just left my body and wonder. Wonder where it has come from and wonder where it will go. Sometimes I cry. Cry that we will never see another sunset together or share another malted on Horner's Peak. Or share the glee after Mr. Anderson swears at the flaming bag on his porch. Oh, the sweet pain of times that will never be again.
Ever since jeebus.com went bankrupt last year I've been out of work and living mostly off ritz crackers, spray cheese, and ham on hand! I just hope my lee7 skillz are good enough fo da gubmint. It my be a problem that I'm an anarchist and once blew up my hometown post office once.
I'm not sure. My senses were overwhelmed by the searing pain of his man sausage ripping through the tender flesh that is my anus but I believe I saw Vince McMahon on his name tag and patch on the shoulder of his uniform with the initials N.A.M.B.L.A Thanks, for your concern. I'm doing better except the bleeding has started again because I shat out the blood clot from my ass.
I was in line waiting to go on the ride into the big golfball and then he pulled me out of lina and he touched my in my special not touch spot and he took me behind some bushes and raped me bum! Oh, the degradation! I feel so used! At least the bleeding has stopped though.
my ass is bleeding that's why! I'm at epcot crying on a park bench with a bleeding ass! No one will help me! Everyoone has to be scared of the kid with no pants and a bleeding ass! Oh, can't help him! We have to get to the Indiana Jones show or buy some more crap for our fat kids! My ass is bleeding damnit! Someone fucking help me! I only have a few minutes of battery power left on my palm and my ass sure does hurt! Help me! My ASS is BLEEDING like sive!
this is just another case of the man trying to get the lowdown on my driving habits so he can give me speeding tickets to fund his rich white man racist policies, such as planned parenthood, head start, schools, hot lunch program, vaccinations that turn our children into zombies, postal services, secret military installations and weapons programs. Enough of the tyranny! I will drive whatever speed I deem safe for the conditions! I'm tired of insurance compaines conspiring with the government to take away our rights and turns us all into do-gooder fairies!
i was molestered at disneylabnd. Help me! My bum is bleeding!!
are you availble? I'd love a nic big cock for my sweaty conch!
*sing wit me!* first thing I remember is when my pappie died i went a laid his body out in the sun to dry i kicked my two-legged dog about a mile high i dropped some acid and an hour later began to fly i raped some cattle and butchered a goat skinned my ma and turned her into a coat!
Karma -6 (mostly the sum of moderation done to users comments)
Angela Lansbury has posted 10 comments.
1 I wish... posted on Wednesday April 17, @08:03PM (Score:-1)
attached to Unreal Tournament 2003, Now With More Ogg
2 my latest project posted on Monday April 15, @11:37PM (Score:-1)
attached to R.I.P for D.I.Y Or Long Live Open Source?
3 I rule!!! posted on Monday April 15, @09:37PM (Score:-1 Replies: 1)
attached to eWeek: Apache 2.0 Trumps IIS
4 orgasm posted on Friday April 12, @06:57PM (Score:-1)
attached to Burrough's Martian Tales Optioned
5 rumors posted on Friday April 12, @06:54PM (Score:-1)
attached to Burrough's Martian Tales Optioned
6 jenny posted on Friday April 12, @06:50PM (Score:-1 Replies: 1)
attached to Burrough's Martian Tales Optioned
7 David Himlen was wrong all along. posted on Friday April 12, @06:45PM (Score:-1)
attached to Burrough's Martian Tales Optioned
8 spam is actually quite useful in the grand scheme posted on Friday April 12, @02:05AM (Score:0)
attached to Poll: What to do with a captured spammer?
9 not quite realistic posted on Thursday April 11, @10:59PM (Score:0)
attached to Evangelion Reviewed In LA Times
10 an issue to ponder posted on Thursday April 11, @07:16PM (Score:0)
attached to Abit's New Motherboard Lays On The Ports
that in the game whenever you win a round you could have the chance to virtually rape a dog. That would be so tubular, dude!
Me and me pappy rigged up an 'ol atari with some testicle electrodes so that when you play frogger and get run over by a car you get shocked in the nuts! It's hilarious to put the setting on high and watch my little cousin get blasted into the air. The smell can be a little overcoming after awhile though.
I can't quit touching myself. I just can't. I find myself so sexy. I just love to caress my sexy body. I love the feel of my hefty man-bosoms. Oh, to fellate myslef, which is the dream of many a young man like me.
I want to be the boot black in the "Tales of Ribaldry". I want to dry hump me some lusty wenches!
Has 1 in 8 people had sex with an animal? Dear Cecil: Hello, I've looked around for documentation and evidence to refute or validate the statement my sociology professor made to illustrate that the world isn't really what it seems. He claims that "one out of every eight humans has had sex with an animal." Please respond if you're going to investigate "the old one in eight" as my professor calls it. Cecil replies: Maybe I lack initiative, but this didn't seem like the kind of thing where you could just go out on the street and ask for a show of hands. Instead I camped out in the medical library looking for articles on zoophilia, or the love of one's fellow creatures. Highlights of my results: According to Alfred Kinsey--you knew I was going to drag him into this--"some 17 percent of the farm boys in our sample had had some sexual contact with farm animals to the point of orgasm, while half or more of the boys from certain rural areas of the United States had had such experience." Kinsey later alludes to the greater tolerance for such things in the west. I take this to mean that in Kinsey's day, when you saw a happy couple walking down the aisle in Wyoming, it was better than even money that the groom had had sex with a sheep. Not necessarily today, though. Comparative studies of 100 students at the University of Northern Iowa found that in 1974, 11 percent (of college students, mind you) had had sexual contact with an animal, but in 1980 only 3 percent had. Unanswered question: Did this reflect the more conservative national mood heralded by the election of Ronald Reagan or just greater access to color TV? You think it's just horny farm boys that do this? I have a report about a 42-year-old woman with four children who was five months pregnant. She complained to her doctor of dizziness and fainting and "confessed that approximately 20 minutes prior to her arrival she had had coitus with her German shepherd dog. . . . One or 2 minutes later she began feeling hot, broke out in whelps [!] and felt faint." She was allergic to dog semen, the loser. Back to statistics. I found a study on the prevalence of bestiality among psychiatric patients, ordinary hospital patients, and psychiatric staff. Its abstract noted: "Psychiatric patients were found to have a statistically higher prevalence rate (55%) of bestiality than the control groups (10% and 15% respectively)." What struck me was not that the first group had a high rate--hey, they were psychiatric patients--but the implication that, as your professor claimed, maybe one in eight ordinary people was doing it with goats. However, it turns out that 2 out of 20 ordinary hospital patients, and 3 out of 20 psychiatric staff (two of them female) had merely fantasized about sexual contact with an animal--none had done anything about it. Still, it's interesting to think that when you're walking down the street looking good, 5 out of 40 people you pass are more interested in your Irish setter. According to The Encyclopedia of Unusual Sex Practices by Brenda Love (sure), avisodomy is "the ancient practice of having sex with a bird. As the man is about to orgasm he breaks the neck of the bird, causing the bird's cloaca sphincter to constrict and spasm, thus creating pleasurable sensations for the man." Turning the page, I see where "a sheepherder in South Africa evidently became so proficient that he devised a technique whereby he cut two holes at the bottom of his jacket in which to insert the hind legs of sheep to anchor them in place for coitus." I bet even the sheepherders think this is weird: One fellow with a type of zoophilia called formicophilia "was preoccupied with collecting snails, ants, cockroaches and frogs, and then masturbating while these creatures crawled on his body." After 12 weeks of therapy he was still doing this once a week, but three times a week he was masturbating with conventional porn. Progress! A study of 51 chronic zoophiles found that for 88 percent of the women the main motive was "emotional involvement," whereas 59 percent of the men said they did it because it was cheaper. Ain't it always the way? CECIL ADAMS
for a good time call 867-5309 Important Stuff: Please try to keep posts on topic. Try to reply to other people comments instead of starting new threads. Read other people's messages before posting your own to avoid simply duplicating what has already been said. Use a clear subject that describes what your message is about. Offtopic, Inflammatory, Inappropriate, Illegal, or Offensive comments might be moderated. (You can read everything, even moderated posts, by adjusting your threshold on the User Preferences Page) Problems regarding accounts or comment posting should be sent to CowboyNeal.
Only several days ago did I notice the bright red rash that had started on my scrotum seemed to be growing at alarming rate and threatining to engulf my genitals entirely in a itching, flaming red, flaky crust like substance. I would go to the doctor but it is a fifteen minute walk and a whole bunch of forms to fill out and the burning sensation I feel when I urinate strangely turns me on.