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  1. Noisesssssssses, yesssssss! on Why Does a Screen Re-Draw Make Noises? · · Score: 4, Funny

    I have noticed an audible noise related to large screen re-draws.

    Do the noises sound like sounds?

    Do the sounds sound like words?

    Are they talking?

    Talking to you?

    Telling you to do something?

    Something like...

    Kill! Kill! Kill?

    Kill the nassssty hobbitses?

    For the precious, preciousssss, preciousssssss

    Ring?


    Yessssss. Yesssssss. Kill the hobbitses!

  2. Huh? on California Looking For Spam Samples · · Score: 2, Interesting

    particularly from spammers operating in California

    Just how do I know if a spammer is operating in California?

  3. Amazon's great on Amazon Scores Another Patent · · Score: 1

    Amazon's a great system for find and purchaing books and music.

    But Amazon has made a practice (perhaps they should patent it) of abusing the patent system.

    So I don't buy anything from amazon

  4. Re:An odd request on A 1974 Review of D&D · · Score: 0, Offtopic

    I am ordained (in North Carolina, Baptist youth minister).... I use role-playing games as a way to get young people with emotional problems such as unfocused anger or resentment, loneliness, and even abuse (well, once, anyway).

    To get young people, huh?

    You sure you're not ordained Catholic, Father?

  5. Re:I remember watching on A 1974 Review of D&D · · Score: 3, Funny

    Nope - Met my wife playing D&D - In fact, we first kissed leaving a D&D session - Can tell you the date, place, and who the DM was, but NOT the premise of the campaign
    --
    -- For the Children - RKBA! PGP Key on the servers


    For the Children -- for your children, please, please, never tell them this.

    Let them keep a little dignity, and avoid the therapy.

  6. Re:And some minor advice... on A 1974 Review of D&D · · Score: 1

    Should you decide to play, have fun with it and keep an open mind.
    [snip: guidlines for playing, including keeping mentally "straight", i.e., drug and alcohol free, but caffeinated and caloried.]

    If you're going to be putting that much attention into D&D, you should be spending that quality time coding for GNU/Hurd... or bashing Microsoft.

    Get some priorities, damn it!

    I mean, GNU/dammit.

  7. Re:Okay, really now on A 1974 Review of D&D · · Score: 3, Funny

    Heh. You mean *we* could be reading it [an article about Dungeons & Dragons submitted by Wil Wheaton who portrayed Wesley Crusher on the Star Trek spin-off with the bald French Captain Kirk who wouldn't fight Iraq (or the Germans) because the Prime Directive required him to be a cheese eating surrender monkey] on a Friday night.

    Hey, I just got back from a date.

    With a girl.

    Who wasn't inflatable or mail order.

    Oh shit, there goes my karma.

  8. Re:Farenheit 451 anyone? on Bookseller Purges Records to Avoid PATRIOT Act · · Score: 1

    i definitely realise there is little connection between your government and the people.


    And that's the problem, in a nutshell.

  9. Re:Gets rid of text-mode startup? on BIOS' Days Are Numbered · · Score: 3, Funny

    Do you drive through canyons with your folks on vacations and pretend you're flying in the canyons of the death star?

    Yeah, and I wear my Darth Vader helmet over my acne-pocked face, and rasp out threats in an impossibly high-pitched "James Earl Jones" voice.

  10. I've seen that. on Codebreaking - Taking the First Step? · · Score: 4, Funny

    Suppose you are listening to a transmission and you receive the following: 'sdjek dYqkP 1Nt$% GGl9) MHrYD +++'

    Yeah, 'sdjek dYqkP 1Nt$% GGl9) MHrYD +++' showed up on my SETI@home screen too.

    This is clearly the signature of the Grays from Cygnus Prime. You don't want to communicate with them.

    They Grays of Cynus Prime are evil. They will put chips in your head.

    They will use the chips to make you do bad things. Like posting to Slashdot.

  11. You want a computer; here's why. on Communication Devices for Stroke Victims? · · Score: 3, Interesting

    I'm not totally against doing it with a computer with a modified keyboard, but that seems like overkill when all I want is really a 'video typewriter'.

    No, you want a computer.

    Why, you ask? So that you can get some sort of predictive typing interface. You'll probably also want something that allows easy one or two key selection of common words and phrases.

    That way your grandmother won't have to type as much, or feel self-conscious as
    P E O P L E
    W A I T
    F O R
    H E R
    to laboriously type out sentences which they've probably already guessed.

    Suggestion: predictive typing based on words already typed, with a completion list mapped to a meta key and some other key, and a special meta key that pops up a list of words and phrases, each mapped to a single key:

    A - "Hello"
    B - "Goodbye"
    C - "Visiting hours are over, you annoying cretin"

    Ok, maybe not that last one.

    If she's especially immoble, you might even use a two button mouse, and some Huffman encoded alphabet that includes stock words and phrases. While learning the Huffman encoding might be laborious, this could be made considerablly easier with large on screen prompts:

    > Press mouse button one to select any of "A E I O U", press mouse button two for any other letter or word.
    > You pressed mouse button one. Now press mouse button one again for the letters "E" or "A". Press mouse button two for "I O U" or to start over."
    > You pressed mouse button two. Press mouse key one for "I". Press mouse button two for "O" or "U" or to start over.
    ...

  12. Re:Adequate speed on 65 CPUs From 100 MHz to 3066 MHz · · Score: 1

    Granda Johns and Old man Willson do not need anything more than Windows 3.1, 95 or a well set up Linux box.

    Aren't "Granda Jones" and "Old man Willson" the characters in that obscene and heavily repeated troll post?

  13. Re:Obligatory Heinlein... on Caltech Researchers Find Longevity-Linked Mutation · · Score: 1

    *check watch* Is it time for the theocracy to come into power yet?

    What, you haven't heard of John Ashcroft?

    Maybe you're a terrorist.

  14. --rant=true on Hacking the Streamium · · Score: 4, Interesting

    Somebody explain to me what genius at Phillips thought it would be a competitive advantage to control the stream a customer could listen to, and why that's an advantage.

    Oh. Advantage. Righto. Gotcha. Phillips thought, gee, we can force users to listen to only these channels, and then we can get those channels to pay us with money from the additional ad revenue they can get by claiming all those captive ears.

    Except. I'd never buy, for instance, a GE TV that would only tune in NBC, the network owned by GE. In fact, I'd be so offended by that idea, I'd make a point not to buy GE or watch NBC. (Let me emphasize that GE does not sell an NBC-only TV or tuner, as far as I know.)

    I'm in the market for something like a Streamium. But now I definitely won't buy Phillip's Streamium product, and I'll be very disinclined to buy any Phillips products, because I now know they don't want customers, they want customer ears to sell to "strategic partners".

    In fact, I'll be very disinclined to buy anything without an open specification.

    I bought an Archos Jukebox. It's great hardware. It's built-in firmware is definitely substandard software. An open source replacement, Rockbox, is an order of magnitude faster, and far far more configurable.

    But I can't use the open source replacement, because Archos won't release its specification for my model of Archos. (I'll be able to use it soon, thanks to some remarkable reverse engineering by the Rockbox team.)

    I have a simple proposition for hardware manufacturers: I'll buy what I can use as I wish to use it. I won't buy your product to become a commodity you can sell to your partners. You want to profit, manufacturers? Sell an open specification product. Don't try to sell me to advertisers.

  15. Oh that on Caltech Researchers Find Longevity-Linked Mutation · · Score: 0, Redundant

    It's the mutation to mitochondrion/types.h that typedefs time_t to a 64 bit int.

    Then you can easily live past 2038.

    (Note: this requires a recent version of gcc-dna.)

  16. Since it appears t o be a trademark problem... on Chimera Gets a New Name · · Score: 1

    How about, "IP-on-Trademark-IP"

  17. Well, control access to your CVS sources on Open Source for SETI Software? · · Score: 4, Funny

    You'd better control access to your CVS sources.

    Specifically, don't let the Grays from Cygnus Prime access the source code.

    They are deceivers!

    They have put a chip in my head and they tell to do bad things. Like to post to Slashdot.

  18. Re:it is VERY trollish on The Faded Sun · · Score: 2, Funny

    have your own in-house monkeys do the board swapping

    Ever since I was a little boy, I've wanted my ouwn troupe of in-house monkeys. Wearing those little red caps, and holding those little tin cups, like organ grinders' monkeys.

    Or midgets would do, too.

  19. Re:Could the bloody writer be specific on 'Selfish Routing' Slows the Internet · · Score: 4, Funny

    Maybe I am just a lowly CCNP

    No, it's no longer "CCNP"; the Soviet Socialists are now calling themselves the nationlists, the Union is gone, and the country's just named Russia.

    But thanks, "Comrade". We'll open a dossier on you anyway.

  20. Re:Drugs & childbirth don't mix on Power Laws, Weblogs, and Your Given Name · · Score: 1

    Hilarious!

  21. Re:Perl 6 is a mistake on Perl Features of the Future - Part 1 · · Score: 2, Insightful

    [snip: long and thoughtful critique of perl and its future.]

    Wow! He managed to make an allusion to "BSD is dying" and a legitimate use of the Goatse man!

    I would have skipped the gratuitous and tasteless slam at Larry Wall's daughter he ended with, though.

  22. Re:Goodbye "my", hello UTF-8? on Perl Features of the Future - Part 1 · · Score: 0, Flamebait

    If not for "my", what else would you use to declare variables?

    By prefacing the variable name wiith the type:
    int foo ;

    Oh.

    Oh, wait, it's perl. No types!

    "int foo;" plus some line noise probably implements DeCSS. Or does an rm -f. Who knows? Hey, it's perl. It's not like you can read it.

  23. Re:Will the new Plex86 run under Windows (or cygwi on Plex86 Lives, As Lightweight VM Technology · · Score: 1

    Cygwin has had an X server for a while.

    Yeah, I can run xclock and xeyes and xterm, and that's about it.

    Re you telling me I could riun, for example, Gnome or KDE? If so, how?

    And yes, it's ironic UML on Win32 requires LINE to run.

    My visiion is running linux with emulated Windiws runnng Plex86 linux running Windows... Lather rinse, and repeat!

  24. Will the new Plex86 run under Windows (or cygwin)? on Plex86 Lives, As Lightweight VM Technology · · Score: 1

    I'm running Windows 2000, and (given EULA issues, DRM issues, etc.) I want to start using a linux distribution.

    But I've somewhat invested in Windows, and it still probably beats linux as far as ease of use.

    I've been thinking that running a virtual linux might be a good way to transition.

    I'm currently running cygwin, but I'd like to be able to use a GUI.

    Will the new Plex86 be able to help me? (I.e., is there or is it likely there will be an MS Windows port?)

    What about User Mode Linux? MS Windows port?

    Once I do transition, of course I'd want to run MS Windows virtually: I guess for that my only choice is VMWare. Or buying a another PC, and VPn'ing. Or do you have a better idea?

  25. IEEE Wants Congress To Re-Examine DMCA on IEEE Wants Congress To Re-Examine DMCA · · Score: 3, Funny

    IEEE Wants Congress To Re-Examine DMCA

    IEEE? Isn't that Microsoft's new browser?

    Internet Explorer Extended Embrace?