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User: Dachannien

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  1. Re:My tips on Google penalties on Businesses Scramble To Stay Out of Google Hell · · Score: 3, Funny

    We usually play that the $50 goes under the Free Domain Parking space, and you get all that money if you land there (but you also have to punch the monkey first).

  2. Better yet, identify for retinal scan on Home Secretary Requests Fingerprint-Activated iPods · · Score: 2, Funny

    Khan: I'll agree to your terms, if.... if.... in addition to yourself, you turn over to me all recordings and album covers regarding the band called "Genesis".
    Kirk: Genesis? Which one, Peter Gabriel or Phil Collins?
    Khan: Don't insult my intelligence, Kirk!

  3. Re:Actually I can a dark colored race in the north on Vitamin D Deficiency Behind Many Western Cancers? · · Score: 1

    Sun exposure in the far north of North America is increased due to snow reflection.

    Sun exposure in central Australia is increased due to the very sunny climate.

  4. Re:Am I the only one on RIAA Security Expert's Quest For Reliability · · Score: 2, Insightful

    imaginary documentation detailing an absense of evidence

    When there is a search space of a size small enough that the entirety of it can be searched, one can produce evidence documenting that something is not present within that space.

  5. Re:M$ Search is Worse. on Google Deletes Rogue Ads, Dangers Persist · · Score: 1

    Great, so they both suck. I don't see how Microsoft sucking makes Google suck any less on this one.

  6. Re:World of Starcraft? WTF? on Blizzard Confirms New Product, May Be Starcraft 2 · · Score: 1

    Goblin: I got what you--
    Archon: ANNIHILAAAATE!!!
    Goblin: Aauuuagguuuguhghhh!

  7. Re:World of Starcraft? WTF? on Blizzard Confirms New Product, May Be Starcraft 2 · · Score: 2, Funny

    I'm voting for "Sector of Starcraft". It's got alliteration, it doesn't rip off "Galaxy" from SWG, and nerds will dig it.

  8. Re:WoW/WoS? on Blizzard Confirms New Product, May Be Starcraft 2 · · Score: 4, Funny

    Spawn more overlords!

    We require more minerals.

  9. Re:If this were true... on Could Black Holes Be Portals to Other Universes? · · Score: 2, Funny

    Only if His Noodly Appendage wills it so.

  10. Re:Good on Jack Valenti, Dead at 85 · · Score: 1

    I'm sure Gregory wasn't naive enough to think that Henry was forthright in his contrition.

  11. Re:Knowing is half the battle on DARPA Developing Defensive Plasma Shield · · Score: 1

    Actually, that documentation proves that laser weaponry is incredibly good at destroying aircraft, but only when the pilot is wearing a parachute and has his hand on the ejection handle.

  12. Re:Good on Jack Valenti, Dead at 85 · · Score: 2, Interesting

    You're not a very good Christian.

    Forgiveness requires admission, repentance, atonement, and determination to not repeat past sins.


    Depends on which brand of Christianity you subscribe to. Fundamentalist Protestants, for example, generally believe that to be forgiven by God, you just have to ask.

    And a rather famous (to medieval historians, anyway) involved Emperor Henry IV begging forgiveness from Pope Gregory VII. Gregory asserted that the throne had no right to meddle in the appointment of officials to Church positions, which was a departure from prior tradition. In response, Henry called for the election of a new pope. And in response to that, Gregory excommunicated Henry.

    The military situation at the time was in Gregory's favor, so to buy time and restore his political influence, Henry went to beg forgiveness from the pope, standing in the snow for three days wearing a hairshirt as penance. Since Gregory, as Pope, was required to follow the example of Jesus, he was forced to grant forgiveness to Henry and accept him back into the Church. This permitted Henry to maintain his claim to the throne of the Holy Roman Empire, which gave him the clout necessary to muster an army which invaded Rome with designs on ousting Gregory from the papacy. Gregory escaped with the help of the Normans, but when the Normans got to Rome, they didn't stop at removing Henry's forces. They sacked Rome, and the resulting outrage amongst the populace forced Gregory to flee the city.

    In other words, "a determination to not repeat past sins" is not a requirement for forgiveness, not even from the Pope.

    How we managed to get the subject from Jack Valenti to the Holy Roman Empire, though, is a mystery to me.....

  13. Zen and the Art of Internet Maintenance on A Succinct Definition of the Internet? · · Score: 1

    The Internet that can be defined is not the true Internet.

  14. Resolutions are labeled "H.Res." on Resolution To Impeach VP Cheney Submitted · · Score: 2, Informative

    The resolution would be "H.Res.333", not "H.R.333". If you want to read it in non-PDF form directly from the Library of Congress, look here.

  15. Re:Winnable is not the whole point on Resolution To Impeach VP Cheney Submitted · · Score: 2, Insightful

    You cannot let crimes go, even if you cannot succeed in convicting.

    So you're saying the Republicans were right to impeach Clinton? Just making sure.

  16. Re:RIAA tactics to catch spammers? on Major Anti-Spam Lawsuit To Be Filed In VA · · Score: 2, Interesting

    Scenario I: The e-mail harvesters are using their own crawlers. The IP addresses picked up by the honeynet lead directly to the e-mail harvesters, making it easier to make a case against them. No innocent third parties are involved.

    Scenario II: The e-mail harvesters are using botnets. The IP addresses lead to third-party zombie machines that were infected by malware pushed by the e-mail harvesters. The honeynet operators file the anti-spam lawsuit, settle with the actual spammers for reduced damages in exchange for the identities of the people they bought their e-mail lists from, and thereby uncover the botnet operators. The relevant police organization arrests the operators for violating their country's relevant computer trespass laws and prosecutes a criminal case against them. Large imprisoned cop-killing psychopath subsequently pounds them in the ass, and justice is served.

  17. Quote collapse on Must-Have Extensions for Thunderbird 2.0 · · Score: 5, Funny

    Alternatively, you can use my preferred method for eliminating the giant 200-line quoted message bombs that appear below a two-word response. Just bitch at the person repeatedly until they either start deleting the old e-mail quotes themselves or they just stop e-mailing you. Either way, problem solved.

  18. Re:Not the conspiracy you're looking for on Netcraft Shows Smartech Running Ohio Election Servers · · Score: 1

    This is about web site traffic being redirected to domains owned by the Republican party during a time when people were looking to Ohio for important election results.

    Do you know what the website looked like on the days when the hostname was pointed toward the Smartech IP address? Are you certain that Smartech, or perhaps one of their customers, wasn't contracted to maintain the election results webpage during that time (which would be the logical explanation that doesn't require copious application of tin foil)?

    OSI, or more specifically, OARnet, is an ISP. The university I went to contracts with them for their internet service, and many other universities in Ohio, both public and private, do the same. It's not surprising that many public institutions in Ohio would also use them as an ISP. What this looks like is that the Ken Blackwell had contracted with an outside company - perhaps Smartech themselves, perhaps a customer of Smartech - to host and maintain the election results webpage. During the time that the election results were relevant, the election.sos.state.oh.us hostname was pointed to the appropriate machine, which happened to be a different machine than the SoS's default web host. When the election results website was no longer needed, the hostname was pointed back to the original place. No conspiracy there.

    As I said, if there is any wrongdoing here, it would be in terms of the bid process for contracting out the election results hosting, but so far, nobody has asserted this happening. What we actually have here is somebody coming up with a square peg (the Netcraft data) and trying to jam it into the round hole of purported Republican corruption.

    Also, two election officials ( Republicans ), have been convicted of fraud already as it relates to the 2004 elections.

    If you're referring to the Cuyahoga County elections workers, I know NPR has repeatedly used the word "rigging" to describe what they did, but that's a loaded term. Those workers were just lazy, and they failed to follow proper procedure in an effort to make less work for themselves. While they deserve to be punished, their actions shouldn't cast a shadow on anyone other than those two people.

  19. Re:With their reliability, TWC hotspots are worthl on Time Warner Customers Get Free Wi-Fi Hotspots · · Score: 1

    Wireless access point. Apply directly to the forehead.

  20. Re:Accept Jury Duty on Open WAP = Probable Cause? · · Score: 1

    This is certainly true while the case is ongoing, but after the case is concluded, in general, you're discharged fully from your duties and can discuss deliberations as much as you'd like. In special cases, the judge may instruct otherwise - situations involving kids would be a good example.

  21. Not the conspiracy you're looking for on Netcraft Shows Smartech Running Ohio Election Servers · · Score: 1

    Others above have indicated the real reasons for the IP change. And it's possible that Smartech is a right-leaning company, but that doesn't mean there was any impropriety. If this is meritorious of any investigation, it would be a look into the process by which Smartech was chosen to host and maintain the election results page.

    One other interesting question: When the next election comes up, who will do the hosting and maintenance of the results page? The current Secretary of State is a Democrat. If Smartech was chosen for partisan reasons, it's doubtful that Brunner would continue that relationship during the upcoming elections. If they were a low bidder that did a good job, though, then they might maintain the elections results page again in '08.

  22. Re:Accept Jury Duty on Open WAP = Probable Cause? · · Score: 2, Informative

    In most jurisdictions, you will be instructed by the judge that your duty is narrowly defined to determine whether the defendant did what the prosecution alleges according to statute. If the law forbids someone from gargling peanut butter, then your job is to answer the question, "Did the defendant gargle peanut butter as alleged in the indictment?" Your job is not to determine whether you like the law or not. Crafting the law is within the purview of the legislature.

    Prosecutors will try to eliminate a juror whom they suspect will try to nullify a law. Wear your marijuana leaf ballcap into the courtroom during voir dire for a drug possession case, and you'll probably be one of their picks to be excluded from the jury. Most jurors are asked at some point during this process, sometimes en masse by the judge, whether their personal beliefs would prevent you from rendering a verdict of guilty or a verdict of not guilty on the charges alleged, and since the question is answered under oath, they conceivably could be charged with perjury if they answer untruthfully.

  23. Re:Comment about Freshman Democrat Mitchell on Nuclear Training Software Downloaded To Iran · · Score: 1

    You mean you think they're not?

  24. Re:Spinning Disc Doctor on Black Hole Cluster Spawns Massive Cloud · · Score: 4, Funny

    and an endless source of Deus ex

    I thought that was the result of an Ion Storm.

  25. Mark of the Beast, patent pending on Microsoft Finds a Home For Barcode · · Score: 3, Funny

    Sure, we all say Bill Gates is the Antichrist, but I never thought it was true until now!