I live in Columbus, Ohio, and have made the mistake of buying things from Computer Success three times. Unless you like DOA parts, an incompetent staff, and refusals by a company to honor their own written return policies, I'd stay away from there.
Oh God! I've been moderated down. My ego is shattered, having been rejected by those classy, popular "moderators" (read: kids with severe social and emotional disorders) over at Slashdot. I'm not sure how I can ever go on living in the same way, knowing full well that I'll never be accepted into the bastion of journalistic integrity that is Slashdot.
The only thing I can do now... is to try to move on.
I propose that, in order to more effectively get comics to the masses (washed or unwashed), that we construct a giant worldwide network of these devices called "computers". These so-called computers would route data over a network - through satellites, over fields, and possibly even through thin air (we could call the last one 'Ethernet' - how funny would that be!).
This "network" of "computers" would be used by comic artists to publish their work at practically no cost. Each frame of their art would be piped into the homes of its comsumers over an ordinary phone line; they'd be compensated by overgrown conglomerates with too much VC money, who would pretend to their shareholders that this altruism was actually advertising.
I'd call this invention THE INTERNET. I'll file it right next to my patent application for the flying car - which is up for "review" next week, by the way.
Joseph "Stalin" Stranghold Consumer Complaint Dispatcher Rockstar Games, Ltd. - North Division
Dear Unhappy Customer,
I passed your letter on to the Vice President of our "Consumer Silencing Division", located in the rather dilapidated building between our live-fire capture-the-flag field and our jet-fueled motorcycle Extreme Racing Arena (tm). He didn't respond to me directly (instead, he muttered something about "not interrupting his threesomes so often" and "killing me if I ever were to set foot in his office again"). I was, however, able to make out one paragraph of his amphetimine-induced scrawl, after only a few hours of studying the "Kick Me Hard and Often" sign he slapped on my back as he stormed out of the building. I've included it below for your convienence:
At Rockstar Games, we pride ourselves in promoting an image of general badassery - both in our entertainment products, and in our fine line of ex-military extreme sporting accessories. Recently, it has been brought to the attention of several of our "Customer Service" officials that the "system requirements" for the PC version of our popular 'Grand Theft Auto' title - calculated by those incompetents over at Rockstar North - may have been misrepresented.
For our own family - our own/flesh and blood/ - to give our fine software the reputation of running on inferior hardware, is disrespectful, and an affront to our longstanding tradition of excellence. I mean, come on - a Radeon 8500? What kind of prissy-ass video chipset is that? We *kill hookers with baseball bats*, for christ's sake! Our image has clearly been tarnished.
I want those northern motherfu*kers wiped out. Heads will roll, and we will restore honor to our family and fine corporation.
I hope this answers your question. I'm afraid I can't be bothered to write much more - I've been invited to a mandatory rocket-sledding competition down at the main Rockstar campus. I overheard someone talking about an "unfortunate accident", so I'll want to give myself plenty of time to get down there safely.
Slashdot Mirror
I live in Columbus, Ohio, and have made the mistake of buying things from Computer Success three times. Unless you like DOA parts, an incompetent staff, and refusals by a company to honor their own written return policies, I'd stay away from there.
Oh God! I've been moderated down. My ego is shattered, having been rejected by those classy, popular "moderators" (read: kids with severe social and emotional disorders) over at Slashdot. I'm not sure how I can ever go on living in the same way, knowing full well that I'll never be accepted into the bastion of journalistic integrity that is Slashdot.
The only thing I can do now... is to try to move on.
I propose that, in order to more effectively get comics to the masses (washed or unwashed), that we construct a giant worldwide network of these devices called "computers". These so-called computers would route data over a network - through satellites, over fields, and possibly even through thin air (we could call the last one 'Ethernet' - how funny would that be!).
This "network" of "computers" would be used by comic artists to publish their work at practically no cost. Each frame of their art would be piped into the homes of its comsumers over an ordinary phone line; they'd be compensated by overgrown conglomerates with too much VC money, who would pretend to their shareholders that this altruism was actually advertising.
I'd call this invention THE INTERNET. I'll file it right next to my patent application for the flying car - which is up for "review" next week, by the way.
Joseph "Stalin" Stranghold
/flesh and blood/ - to give our fine
Consumer Complaint Dispatcher
Rockstar Games, Ltd. - North Division
Dear Unhappy Customer,
I passed your letter on to the Vice President of our "Consumer Silencing
Division", located in the rather dilapidated building between our live-fire
capture-the-flag field and our jet-fueled motorcycle Extreme Racing Arena (tm).
He didn't respond to me directly (instead, he muttered something about "not
interrupting his threesomes so often" and "killing me if I ever were to set
foot in his office again"). I was, however, able to make out one paragraph of
his amphetimine-induced scrawl, after only a few hours of studying the "Kick Me
Hard and Often" sign he slapped on my back as he stormed out of the building.
I've included it below for your convienence:
At Rockstar Games, we pride ourselves in promoting an image of general
badassery - both in our entertainment products, and in our fine line of
ex-military extreme sporting accessories. Recently, it has been brought to
the attention of several of our "Customer Service" officials that the "system
requirements" for the PC version of our popular 'Grand Theft Auto' title -
calculated by those incompetents over at Rockstar North - may have been
misrepresented.
For our own family - our own
software the reputation of running on inferior hardware, is disrespectful,
and an affront to our longstanding tradition of excellence. I mean, come on -
a Radeon 8500? What kind of prissy-ass video chipset is that? We *kill
hookers with baseball bats*, for christ's sake! Our image has clearly
been tarnished.
I want those northern motherfu*kers wiped out. Heads will roll, and we will
restore honor to our family and fine corporation.
I hope this answers your question. I'm afraid I can't be bothered to write
much more - I've been invited to a mandatory rocket-sledding competition down
at the main Rockstar campus. I overheard someone talking about an "unfortunate
accident", so I'll want to give myself plenty of time to get down there
safely.
Sincerely,
- Joseph "Stalin" Stranghold
Rockstar North