There is nothing wrong with saying "Our last offering had bugs, we have a new version that is better, and we suggest you upgrade because we do not wish to suppot the out-dated version"
What is wrong with this? Is a company required to support old software for ever?
Oh yes, and all the Vietnamese sweatshop workers that make $2 a day will most likly object to this. God knows, we Westerners deserve cheap electronics on the backs of people that work in factories with little or no health and safty rules. Wonder what the cancer rate of these workers that build your fancy game boxes are?
This Open Source thing is a good thing. More countries need to do this.
In fact, it's very likely! Blather on, fry boy. Just remember that as a Slashdotter, you are prohibited from backing up your crap with facts! And, in this respect, you are doing FANTASTIC! Rock on, dude, and yes, I do want fries with that.
Since Clippy, that tinny Office Assistant, seems to be hiding in some of your computers, it's up to me to guide you in your quest for help. Climb aboard Crabby's Help Wagon, keep your arms and legs inside, and hold on -- you may even learn a thing or two. And please, don't feed the animals.
Imagine my surprise this morning when I opened my mailbox to find a piece of irradiated hate mail from none other than that wordy, wiry, bossy Office Assistant named Clippy. Don't know who Clippy is? Maybe this chirpy statement will ring a bell:
"It looks like you're writing a letter!"
(Gee, Sherlock, was it the 'Dear Mom, I'm writing you this letter...' part that gave it away?)
Like some of you, I find Clippy a wee bit...well, let me come right out and say it: annoying. I know, I know, there are those of you who pretty much think he's better than, well, me. But whatever you think of him (or me for that matter), there are so many more ways to get help with your work.
He, of course, doesn't TELL you that. That's why I was hired: I am not threatened by other avenues of assistance; I have nothing to hide (not to mention nowhere to hide). And so the jealous letters of Clippy keep coming every week. Oh, Clip -- can't we all just get along?
Unchain my heart, set me free
Ah, Help. As in assistance, knowledge, aid, support -- the bricks and mortar (not to mention ball and chain) of my very existence. Where can you go to ask how to de-pivot your PivotTable®? Who can you turn to for guidance when your document's border has crossed the line one too many times?
Like paper/plastic, stilettos/sneakers, and potato/potatoe (as if)...ya got choices.
Whatever you do, don't just sit there. I can only help with so much. You've got to pull yourself up by the bootstraps, take the bull by the horns, step up to the plate, knock on some doors, create your own opportunities, . In other words, help yourself.
What you want, baby I got it
Below are the various places you can go to get the help you need. (Ways to get there are listed at the bottom of the column.)
Assistance Center
Like an encyclopedia...without the door-to-door salesman. You want it? We have it: articles, tips and tricks, columnists, and "Spotlights." You want it, we don't have it? You haven't looked hard enough. (If I have to come up there and find it myself....)
Office Help online
All the Help that's fit to print: Everything that's "in the box" is online too.
Help in your Office programs
It's available, it's quick, and it's easy. (I know that's what they all say, but this time it's true.)
Press F1, or if you have something against F1, click Microsoft Help on the Help menu of any Office program.
Product Support Center
Quick links to support information, common issues, downloads, related sites, instructions, troubleshooters, and more. A sort of maxi-mall for the assistance world. Find a parking spot and get in here (and watch out for the seniors doing their laps around the place).
The Knowledge Base
A repository of sorts for articles written by people who spend their days with a phone smashed up against their ear, listening to freaked-out software users. These KB people know what hurts, where it hurts, and how to fix it. Then they write it down.
Download Center
Updates and add-ins and fonts, oh my. Viewers, converters, and tools, oh my. The Download Center really is a horse of a different color. So c'mon in and talk to the wizard (the Download Wizard, that is). He knows what ails ya.
Newsgroups
Lie down and talk about your troubles. At the newsgroups, a cigar is just a cigar, and an hour session is really an hour, not 45 minutes.
Training
Snatch the pebble from my hand, Grasshopper. See it, learn it, try it, do it. Then go teach someone else.
Books
Read all about it. (You remember what books are, don't you?)
Software
You can't use it if you don't have it. We can help you research it, price it, and buy it.
More information
The Assistance Center My home -- keep it neat, please.
Office Help Online All the info you get by pressing F1...without all the pressing.
Microsoft Help and Su
Actually, only software and music PIRATES use peer to peer. You are a dihonest little punk, and I think the words "Do You Want Fries With That?" are probibly your most used words at work.
Slashdot Mirror
You don't read Slashdot very close do you? Legit M$ products are highly discounted in Viet Nam and close by nations. $120? You must be snorting coke.
There is nothing wrong with saying "Our last offering had bugs, we have a new version that is better, and we suggest you upgrade because we do not wish to suppot the out-dated version"
What is wrong with this? Is a company required to support old software for ever?
Oh yes, and all the Vietnamese sweatshop workers that make $2 a day will most likly object to this. God knows, we Westerners deserve cheap electronics on the backs of people that work in factories with little or no health and safty rules. Wonder what the cancer rate of these workers that build your fancy game boxes are?
This Open Source thing is a good thing. More countries need to do this.
...a machine that would prevent Slash Eds like Michael and Little Timmy from posting stupid stories and modding down dissent.
To me, bigger is better, and even better if rack-mount. I want room for fans (the more the better), and plenty of air-flow.
My second rack just went in, now I have to find someplace else to park the car (yes, I actually *did* park my car in the garage...
Jesus. Ferengi Rule of Acquisition? Still a masturbating peeping Tom, are you?
In fact, it's very likely! Blather on, fry boy. Just remember that as a Slashdotter, you are prohibited from backing up your crap with facts! And, in this respect, you are doing FANTASTIC! Rock on, dude, and yes, I do want fries with that.
What are you? New here? Slashdot is "News for Nerds" as long as you're a socialist M$ hating high school dropout who needs a fucking bath.
NOW WHERE THE HELL DO YOU WANT TO GO TODAY? CAN I GIVE YOU A FUCKING HAND? Yeh right.
Well, Martin is actually a product of both my and Bills DNA!
Since Clippy, that tinny Office Assistant, seems to be hiding in some of your computers, it's up to me to guide you in your quest for help. Climb aboard Crabby's Help Wagon, keep your arms and legs inside, and hold on -- you may even learn a thing or two. And please, don't feed the animals. Imagine my surprise this morning when I opened my mailbox to find a piece of irradiated hate mail from none other than that wordy, wiry, bossy Office Assistant named Clippy. Don't know who Clippy is? Maybe this chirpy statement will ring a bell: "It looks like you're writing a letter!" (Gee, Sherlock, was it the 'Dear Mom, I'm writing you this letter...' part that gave it away?) Like some of you, I find Clippy a wee bit...well, let me come right out and say it: annoying. I know, I know, there are those of you who pretty much think he's better than, well, me. But whatever you think of him (or me for that matter), there are so many more ways to get help with your work. He, of course, doesn't TELL you that. That's why I was hired: I am not threatened by other avenues of assistance; I have nothing to hide (not to mention nowhere to hide). And so the jealous letters of Clippy keep coming every week. Oh, Clip -- can't we all just get along? Unchain my heart, set me free Ah, Help. As in assistance, knowledge, aid, support -- the bricks and mortar (not to mention ball and chain) of my very existence. Where can you go to ask how to de-pivot your PivotTable®? Who can you turn to for guidance when your document's border has crossed the line one too many times? Like paper/plastic, stilettos/sneakers, and potato/potatoe (as if)...ya got choices. Whatever you do, don't just sit there. I can only help with so much. You've got to pull yourself up by the bootstraps, take the bull by the horns, step up to the plate, knock on some doors, create your own opportunities, . In other words, help yourself. What you want, baby I got it Below are the various places you can go to get the help you need. (Ways to get there are listed at the bottom of the column.) Assistance Center Like an encyclopedia...without the door-to-door salesman. You want it? We have it: articles, tips and tricks, columnists, and "Spotlights." You want it, we don't have it? You haven't looked hard enough. (If I have to come up there and find it myself....) Office Help online All the Help that's fit to print: Everything that's "in the box" is online too. Help in your Office programs It's available, it's quick, and it's easy. (I know that's what they all say, but this time it's true.) Press F1, or if you have something against F1, click Microsoft Help on the Help menu of any Office program. Product Support Center Quick links to support information, common issues, downloads, related sites, instructions, troubleshooters, and more. A sort of maxi-mall for the assistance world. Find a parking spot and get in here (and watch out for the seniors doing their laps around the place). The Knowledge Base A repository of sorts for articles written by people who spend their days with a phone smashed up against their ear, listening to freaked-out software users. These KB people know what hurts, where it hurts, and how to fix it. Then they write it down. Download Center Updates and add-ins and fonts, oh my. Viewers, converters, and tools, oh my. The Download Center really is a horse of a different color. So c'mon in and talk to the wizard (the Download Wizard, that is). He knows what ails ya. Newsgroups Lie down and talk about your troubles. At the newsgroups, a cigar is just a cigar, and an hour session is really an hour, not 45 minutes. Training Snatch the pebble from my hand, Grasshopper. See it, learn it, try it, do it. Then go teach someone else. Books Read all about it. (You remember what books are, don't you?) Software You can't use it if you don't have it. We can help you research it, price it, and buy it. More information The Assistance Center My home -- keep it neat, please. Office Help Online All the info you get by pressing F1...without all the pressing. Microsoft Help and Su
HEY NOW! Every large software company has a FEW little things that didn't fly!
You are a racist.
What's the going rate in canada???
Actually, only software and music PIRATES use peer to peer. You are a dihonest little punk, and I think the words "Do You Want Fries With That?" are probibly your most used words at work.
No, no. Not Open Source = Viral, Open Source == Viral
Clippy LOVES Motif! Clippy will never be GNU! I don't fuck sheep like the rest of you!
Agent has it, it works just fine with newsgroups.
Students don't pay for school, their parents do
Really? I'll have to explain that to the bank that gave me my student loans. My mom and dad will be overjoyed to hear this also!