Swedish Pirates? What about the often-overlooked Jewish Pirates? With the little tricornered yarmulkes and the "Oy, matey", and the "make that putz walk the schlamozl" and all that.
I don't know about the looting and the pillaging, but the lawsuits, I'm telling you, we'll make a fortune!
This is exactly the problem. People consider the Bible to be, through and through, an authoritative historical document. This is understandable, as the Bible is self-reflexive, instructing its readers to consider its statements to be utter fact, the specific WORD OF GOD. Much of the Old Testament of the Bible is a collection of Semitic MYTHS - and Jews are not the only Semites. There were also Akkadians, Babylonians, Ugarites, Hittites and Sumerians. These myths existed as oral traditions centuries before they were transcribed to print.
Fundamentalist believers also don't consider the fact that these MANY different groups of people in the area, all Semitic, might have drawn upon the SAME myths as their neighbors, changing them a little to suit their own people. Anthropologists have provided mountains of academic text on myth-sharing, especially amongst the tribes of North and Central America - (i.e., the pervasive appearance of Coyote and Raven in Aboriginal American myths all over the continent)
It wasn't until over a 1,000 years later that these myths were compiled and transcribed to a single volume by a splinter group of Hebrews, the Deuteronomic scholars, who interpreted the myths as being the absolute word of God. Upon completion of the project, entitled the TORAH, the Deuteronomists required that copies of their transcription be reproduced EXACTLY and be implemented as authoritative. The Torah was not only spiritual, but societal LAW.
Now, if you go through and actually STUDY OTHER WORKS, my fine Biblical fundamentalists, you may find that similar versions of the Ark Myth appear in Akkadian and Babylonian legends, which in turn draw theirs from Sumerian legends - the oldest of the Semitic civilizations. You'll find the Ark Myth in the Epic of Gilgamesh, which in turns refers to that particular legend as being MUCH older.
Here's where the problem lies, my friends and neighbors. People are going to search for Noah's Ark on Mount Ararat because the Bible says it's there. Should we go climbing the mountain ranges of Sweden and Norway looking for the Bifrost Bridge to Valhalla because Norse myths say THEY'RE there somewhere too? They said that Valhalla would be destroyed when the world ended, and you know what? Doesn't look like it's ended yet, so Valhalla MUST be there, right? You know, a huge pile of ancient splinters and fragments of timber may even BE there on Mount Ararat. A more logical explanation beyond the Ark Myth would answer that: the boat, if it exists, was built or put there by people sometime in the past who want to kindle faith in their religion by providing a concrete artifact. If it exists, it'd more likely be the Semitic equivalent of the Shroud of Turin.
Because fundamentalists don't want to consider their beliefs to be myths, their arguments become self-reflexive and thus, fallacies of logic. The essence of the monologue we receive from our fundamentalist friends proceeds thusly: "Everything this book says is true. I know this because the book says everything in it is true. It also says the moon is made of green cheese. How do I know the moon is made of green cheese? Because the book says it's made of green cheese, and it also says everything it says is true."
-Mekkis
(ALSO a Semitic word, thank you! Bonus brownie points go to my fellow Anthro-Nerds who can tell my name's definition the Semitic group who claimed it as their guiding principle.)
Way-ell, PRAISE THE LOWERED!!
It's about tahm that them nerds up at Mahcro$oft done learned about the WORD OF THE LOWERED!! (canigettahalleluja?)
In all seriousness, I find this pretty disturbing on any front on which one would care to address this. If this signifies that Micro$oft is giving up the pretense that it hasn't become part of American mass media by now openly espousing "Christian Values" that American mass media rams so forcibly down the world's collective gullets- so much so that Micro$oft is willing to put the term "evangelist" into its job title... Either that or Micro$oft EULAs have now attained the status of religious texts, and the lawyers in charge of maintaining them are now considered classes of priests who enforce said canons.
I: In the beginning, there was the word, and the word was Gates. Then on the First Day, Gates moved upon the face of the monitors and said: "Let there be OS!", and saw that the MS-DOS was good.
II: On the second day, Gates created the GUI and said "There are no other GUIs but mine (and that bastard Steve Jobs is nothing but a cut-rate deity not worthy of worship - any who believe in him are to be cast down and forgotten. And don't get me started on that Linus guy...)" and saw that the GUI was good....and so on it goes until Gates gives Moses the EULA upon Mount Sinai, saying:
I: THOU SHALT NOT HAVE ANY OS BUT THAT MADE BY MICRO$OFT, AND THOU SHALT PAY FOR THAT WHICH YOU USE.
II: THOU SHALT NOT MAKE UNTO THEE ANY UNAUTHORIZED COPIES OF MICRO$OFT PRODUCTS, OR LIKENESS OF THE PRODUCTS ON HARD COPIES OR DIGITALLY, OR LOAN THEM TO THY NEIGHBORS, OR PROVIDE MICRO$OFT PRODUCTS FREELY TO THE MASSES UPON THE INTERNET.
III: THOU SHALT NOT BOW THYSELF DOWN TO OTHER OPERATING SYSTEMS, NOR USE THEM, FOR I, THE LORD THY GATES AM A JEALOUS GOD VISITING THE INIQUITY OF THE FATHERS ON THE CHILDREN UNTO THE THIRD GENERATION OF THOSE WHO USE ANYTHING BUT MICRO$OFT PRODUCTS.
IV: THOU SHALT NOT COPY, THOU MUST PAY!
V: DID YOU HEAR ME NOT? THOU SHALT N O T C O P Y!
VI: *snarl grumble* I AM THE LORD, THY GATES! HARKEN UNTO ME! I SAID: THOU SHALT NOT COPY, THOU MUST PAY!
VII: THOU SHALT STRIKE DOWN THE UNHOLY, THEM THAT USE THE LINUX OR THE MACINTOSH, FOR THEY MOCK THE LORD THY GATES AND COST HIM HIS HOLY FINANCE.
And so on and so on, until the Lord Gates did force upon the masses the Holy Lawsuit, and the Sacred Digital Signature, and all was good, and the masses did worship.
*sigh*
Slashdot Mirror
Swedish Pirates? What about the often-overlooked Jewish Pirates? With the little tricornered yarmulkes and the "Oy, matey", and the "make that putz walk the schlamozl" and all that.
I don't know about the looting and the pillaging, but the lawsuits, I'm telling you, we'll make a fortune!
This is exactly the problem. People consider the Bible to be, through and through, an authoritative historical document. This is understandable, as the Bible is self-reflexive, instructing its readers to consider its statements to be utter fact, the specific WORD OF GOD. Much of the Old Testament of the Bible is a collection of Semitic MYTHS - and Jews are not the only Semites. There were also Akkadians, Babylonians, Ugarites, Hittites and Sumerians. These myths existed as oral traditions centuries before they were transcribed to print. Fundamentalist believers also don't consider the fact that these MANY different groups of people in the area, all Semitic, might have drawn upon the SAME myths as their neighbors, changing them a little to suit their own people. Anthropologists have provided mountains of academic text on myth-sharing, especially amongst the tribes of North and Central America - (i.e., the pervasive appearance of Coyote and Raven in Aboriginal American myths all over the continent) It wasn't until over a 1,000 years later that these myths were compiled and transcribed to a single volume by a splinter group of Hebrews, the Deuteronomic scholars, who interpreted the myths as being the absolute word of God. Upon completion of the project, entitled the TORAH, the Deuteronomists required that copies of their transcription be reproduced EXACTLY and be implemented as authoritative. The Torah was not only spiritual, but societal LAW. Now, if you go through and actually STUDY OTHER WORKS, my fine Biblical fundamentalists, you may find that similar versions of the Ark Myth appear in Akkadian and Babylonian legends, which in turn draw theirs from Sumerian legends - the oldest of the Semitic civilizations. You'll find the Ark Myth in the Epic of Gilgamesh, which in turns refers to that particular legend as being MUCH older. Here's where the problem lies, my friends and neighbors. People are going to search for Noah's Ark on Mount Ararat because the Bible says it's there. Should we go climbing the mountain ranges of Sweden and Norway looking for the Bifrost Bridge to Valhalla because Norse myths say THEY'RE there somewhere too? They said that Valhalla would be destroyed when the world ended, and you know what? Doesn't look like it's ended yet, so Valhalla MUST be there, right? You know, a huge pile of ancient splinters and fragments of timber may even BE there on Mount Ararat. A more logical explanation beyond the Ark Myth would answer that: the boat, if it exists, was built or put there by people sometime in the past who want to kindle faith in their religion by providing a concrete artifact. If it exists, it'd more likely be the Semitic equivalent of the Shroud of Turin. Because fundamentalists don't want to consider their beliefs to be myths, their arguments become self-reflexive and thus, fallacies of logic. The essence of the monologue we receive from our fundamentalist friends proceeds thusly: "Everything this book says is true. I know this because the book says everything in it is true. It also says the moon is made of green cheese. How do I know the moon is made of green cheese? Because the book says it's made of green cheese, and it also says everything it says is true." -Mekkis (ALSO a Semitic word, thank you! Bonus brownie points go to my fellow Anthro-Nerds who can tell my name's definition the Semitic group who claimed it as their guiding principle.)
Way-ell, PRAISE THE LOWERED!! It's about tahm that them nerds up at Mahcro$oft done learned about the WORD OF THE LOWERED!! (canigettahalleluja?) In all seriousness, I find this pretty disturbing on any front on which one would care to address this. If this signifies that Micro$oft is giving up the pretense that it hasn't become part of American mass media by now openly espousing "Christian Values" that American mass media rams so forcibly down the world's collective gullets- so much so that Micro$oft is willing to put the term "evangelist" into its job title... Either that or Micro$oft EULAs have now attained the status of religious texts, and the lawyers in charge of maintaining them are now considered classes of priests who enforce said canons. I: In the beginning, there was the word, and the word was Gates. Then on the First Day, Gates moved upon the face of the monitors and said: "Let there be OS!", and saw that the MS-DOS was good. II: On the second day, Gates created the GUI and said "There are no other GUIs but mine (and that bastard Steve Jobs is nothing but a cut-rate deity not worthy of worship - any who believe in him are to be cast down and forgotten. And don't get me started on that Linus guy...)" and saw that the GUI was good. ...and so on it goes until Gates gives Moses the EULA upon Mount Sinai, saying:
I: THOU SHALT NOT HAVE ANY OS BUT THAT MADE BY MICRO$OFT, AND THOU SHALT PAY FOR THAT WHICH YOU USE.
II: THOU SHALT NOT MAKE UNTO THEE ANY UNAUTHORIZED COPIES OF MICRO$OFT PRODUCTS, OR LIKENESS OF THE PRODUCTS ON HARD COPIES OR DIGITALLY, OR LOAN THEM TO THY NEIGHBORS, OR PROVIDE MICRO$OFT PRODUCTS FREELY TO THE MASSES UPON THE INTERNET.
III: THOU SHALT NOT BOW THYSELF DOWN TO OTHER OPERATING SYSTEMS, NOR USE THEM, FOR I, THE LORD THY GATES AM A JEALOUS GOD VISITING THE INIQUITY OF THE FATHERS ON THE CHILDREN UNTO THE THIRD GENERATION OF THOSE WHO USE ANYTHING BUT MICRO$OFT PRODUCTS.
IV: THOU SHALT NOT COPY, THOU MUST PAY!
V: DID YOU HEAR ME NOT? THOU SHALT N O T C O P Y!
VI: *snarl grumble* I AM THE LORD, THY GATES! HARKEN UNTO ME! I SAID: THOU SHALT NOT COPY, THOU MUST PAY!
VII: THOU SHALT STRIKE DOWN THE UNHOLY, THEM THAT USE THE LINUX OR THE MACINTOSH, FOR THEY MOCK THE LORD THY GATES AND COST HIM HIS HOLY FINANCE.
And so on and so on, until the Lord Gates did force upon the masses the Holy Lawsuit, and the Sacred Digital Signature, and all was good, and the masses did worship.
*sigh*