I can see it now... I'm drivind down the road, when OnStar comes on:::
Hello! We're here to inform you that you need to change the air particle filter in your Escalade.
WTF? Why?
Sir, we here at OnStar have monitored your car, and we've just come to the conclusion that the A/C isn't working properly because of high levels of THC residue in the air ducts. In addition, what you're smoking isn't the best quality available, and that's really stinking up the interior and hurting our overall re-sale value. We also consider that you've been listening to Bob Marley excesively, thus we'll shut down the sound system.
Wait, wait a minute!...
Oh, and we're waiting just 20 seconds for the patrol cars to be on your tail so we can shut down our, er, your vehicle.
Can you hand me a Heineken?
You know, it's good to know that there's somebody with enough 'cojones' to do things like that. I like that Balmer guy.
For all those of you that are thinking; 'Ah... Microsoft... they suck.',,, well, you dumb schmucks... why do you think they're in the position they're at right now? Because of guys like Balmer. You need big cojones to carry such a big company forward... which is more than can be said for your one-room, five computer website development corporation
Now, he threw a chair across the room, flying through the air! How cool is that?! I just have to wonder how many thousands of $s did he break in that move.
C'mon people! There was a time in America where you could have somebody shot for things like this. We need more guys like Balmer. Yeap, more of them!
Ok, this story wasn't posted by CmdrTaco...
In addition, I suggest you chill out... if provoked, there have been rumors of CmdrTaco commanding attacks towards his blasphemous underlings.
You see, phase 1 of the attack would see to it that your eMails and IP #s are posted on/.
Phase 2 would see your DSL connection burst in flames to the ground as eMail just pours in from all over the world... heck! You've got your computer sending you eMail!
By his all-mighty/. powers, Taco will then cause an attack on your different communications mediums...
By using a combination of Java/WAP, your phone will also explode into a trillion fragments... All this by a direct attack on the open ports of your system (DNS, TCP and many, many other funny acronyms)...
By the same token, your cable/TV connection will receive an quantum encrypted channel 13 video feed... This will cause your TV's CRT beams to converge on a dedicated spot, which will, obviously melt the front glass an cause all sorts of mortal electron beam reflections throughout your house.
After extensive research, I've found out that when Taco is on a run, he's unstopabble...
After commanding any and all electronic devices that contain an electronic gate within (hell, a light switch will do!), Taco will use secret HTML/XML and some RSS feeds to jump onto your house's X10 electrical network.
Ultimately, he'll be able to broadcast massive InfraRed codes into your neighborgh's homes... Such IR codes will hi-jack your Jetta's stereo system and cause it to run-off in the middle of the night! This, using google Maps and some clever C# programming in unison with the feedback obtained from your town's traffic system.
In conclusion, chill out Radres... chill out.
and don't tune into channel 13
I was once on a physics discussion board, and they where using the AOL CDs as capacitors... They would solder a small cable to one of the sides (top side, obviously), then stack them 50/100/250 high.
I don't remember numbers, but some guys said it worked excellent. I think one of the guys was using a five-pack of these AOL CDs to fire up a Tesla Coil... I don't recall it's use... but I've always found very amusing a "Tesla Coil anti-pissing-dog application":::
You hook-up your Tesla Coil to a metallic trash can (has to be of the above-ground type)... then, when your most-hated man's-best-friend comes along and takes his typicall piss, you fire up the coil...
You can imagine what would happen when 375,000 volts shoot straight up the dog's winnie.
I haven't done this, and I suggest against it... but for some idiotic reason, I crack my self up laughing every time I think about it.
-AJ
[There... my 1st/. post =) Now if I can nail down how they make the italics and bold letters... and those nifty hyperlinked text phrases...]
Slashdot Mirror
I can see it now... I'm drivind down the road, when OnStar comes on:::
Hello! We're here to inform you that you need to change the air particle filter in your Escalade.
WTF? Why?
Sir, we here at OnStar have monitored your car, and we've just come to the conclusion that the A/C isn't working properly because of high levels of THC residue in the air ducts. In addition, what you're smoking isn't the best quality available, and that's really stinking up the interior and hurting our overall re-sale value. We also consider that you've been listening to Bob Marley excesively, thus we'll shut down the sound system.
Wait, wait a minute!...
Oh, and we're waiting just 20 seconds for the patrol cars to be on your tail so we can shut down our, er, your vehicle.
Can you hand me a Heineken?
You know, it's good to know that there's somebody with enough 'cojones' to do things like that. I like that Balmer guy.
For all those of you that are thinking; 'Ah... Microsoft... they suck.',,, well, you dumb schmucks... why do you think they're in the position they're at right now? Because of guys like Balmer. You need big cojones to carry such a big company forward... which is more than can be said for your one-room, five computer website development corporation
Now, he threw a chair across the room, flying through the air! How cool is that?! I just have to wonder how many thousands of $s did he break in that move.
C'mon people! There was a time in America where you could have somebody shot for things like this. We need more guys like Balmer. Yeap, more of them!
I wonder how World Vision deals with their version of that situation.
Ouch...
What's the smartest thing to have ever come out of a woman's mouth?
Einstein's cock.
Sorry ladies... but it's just too good to be kept from the
Ok, this story wasn't posted by CmdrTaco... /.
/. powers, Taco will then cause an attack on your different communications mediums...
By using a combination of Java/WAP, your phone will also explode into a trillion fragments... All this by a direct attack on the open ports of your system (DNS, TCP and many, many other funny acronyms)...
In addition, I suggest you chill out... if provoked, there have been rumors of CmdrTaco commanding attacks towards his blasphemous underlings.
You see, phase 1 of the attack would see to it that your eMails and IP #s are posted on
Phase 2 would see your DSL connection burst in flames to the ground as eMail just pours in from all over the world... heck! You've got your computer sending you eMail!
By his all-mighty
By the same token, your cable/TV connection will receive an quantum encrypted channel 13 video feed... This will cause your TV's CRT beams to converge on a dedicated spot, which will, obviously melt the front glass an cause all sorts of mortal electron beam reflections throughout your house.
After extensive research, I've found out that when Taco is on a run, he's unstopabble...
After commanding any and all electronic devices that contain an electronic gate within (hell, a light switch will do!), Taco will use secret HTML/XML and some RSS feeds to jump onto your house's X10 electrical network.
Ultimately, he'll be able to broadcast massive InfraRed codes into your neighborgh's homes... Such IR codes will hi-jack your Jetta's stereo system and cause it to run-off in the middle of the night! This, using google Maps and some clever C# programming in unison with the feedback obtained from your town's traffic system.
In conclusion, chill out Radres... chill out.
and don't tune into channel 13
Testing, testing... It's just a hyperlink test to slashdot http://slashdot.org/... Hey! Let's /. /. !!!
I was once on a physics discussion board, and they where using the AOL CDs as capacitors... They would solder a small cable to one of the sides (top side, obviously), then stack them 50/100/250 high. I don't remember numbers, but some guys said it worked excellent. I think one of the guys was using a five-pack of these AOL CDs to fire up a Tesla Coil... I don't recall it's use... but I've always found very amusing a "Tesla Coil anti-pissing-dog application" :::
You hook-up your Tesla Coil to a metallic trash can (has to be of the above-ground type)... then, when your most-hated man's-best-friend comes along and takes his typicall piss, you fire up the coil...
You can imagine what would happen when 375,000 volts shoot straight up the dog's winnie.
I haven't done this, and I suggest against it... but for some idiotic reason, I crack my self up laughing every time I think about it.
-AJ
[There... my 1st /. post =) Now if I can nail down how they make the italics and bold letters... and those nifty hyperlinked text phrases...]