The smaller telecom companies were selling you T1 lines, but when they broke the big company was ultimately the one to fix it. Meaning you called company B, who eventually called company A. Company A, being the big mean one that costs more, would take it's sweet time fixing problem for company B. Meanwhile company A's customers were fixed in a jiffy.
Hell, i've even seen company A break things for company B, and then drag ass when it was time to fix it. Pathetic.
And sadly, we cant afford to be down, so we have to go with Company A now (deregulation is forcing us anyhow).
Time for a serious response.
Sounds like they respect you for doing such a good job given the crazy circumstances. I respect you for that, but I also have to emphasize that you need to get priorities straight. Your home life, in my opinion, should be before work life. Your family and closest friends should take precedence... especially when it's past the 8 hours you are paid for. And you need time for yourself. Live a little... the company isn't as important as your life. Take your job seriously, but really consider what matters in the long run.
Back to the question:
I think you need to learn to say no sometimes. You don't have to be a jerk... you can be really round about in saying it... or you can just say "Can it wait a while? I have some semi-emergency projects that I have to complete".
Be really careful about who you hire. I would really take my time... get someone who really rocks. Attitude will matter more than knowledge or skills in this situation, I'd say. Get someone who will learn on their own but isnt afraid to ask for help. If you get someone with an attitude you will regret it.
Pick one or two manager types to get to know personally... go to lunch with them and figure out what will help them. If you have a cool CFO or respected accountant, I can guarantee you that there will be software out there that they need badly. You be the man in control of implementing/recommending it... or if they have some in mind, become the expert. and they'll understand your worth.
Get a friend to make some good software on the side that is relatively easy to make. Get the company to buy it. Make sure it's a friend (or yourself) so that you won't be fighting something that is trouble... you want something that will make your life easier.
Work a little overtime for free, but not much. Actually after 6 years of that, i bet they owe you two years of overtime.
250:1? come on, you can do better. 1 system/network/pcTech/programmer/ITmanager/WEBadmi n can easily support 2000 PCs and 400 servers. How you ask? Simple, ignore everything you don't feel like doing, turn off your phone, basically never answer email, and lock your door a lot. Always have consultants work on anything major.
Sure, many users will have to get used to doing everything by paper again... but you are bound to be in high demand and have plenty of job security. Naturally you'll be lying your ass off about what you are really doing.
Most days you'll be hiding in some abandoned office surfing the net or in the server room with the door locked working on some obscure project that will only help you... just be sure you answer emails from upper mgt and your boss. Otherwise, nothing to worry about.
I'd also highly recommend researching some good time-delay email notifications. Make sure they think you are up at 1 AM nearly every night working on major issues. Be creative and random so they don't catch on. Invest time in making scripts that don't do anything, but appears to be doing lots of "self-healing" bullshitness from the users' perspective. When you feel like it, email them the script to "fix their problem". If they complain it didnt work, blame it on them. Try things like "Did you open any weird emails in the last few weeks"? Even if they say no they only deleted them, then you have them: "So you did get some weird emails, huh? Right, those will tear up a PC even if you click on them to delete them." Tell them to do their windows/AV/Java/etc. BS updates... be sure to have a printout or email with cryptic or outdated instructions on how to manually do updates and send it out to anyone who won't give up bothering you.
Always have about 3-5 computers (with monitors) running at your desk at all times with all sorts of apparent installs and nonsense going on. Have a minimum of 20 windows open on at least one box. One window for pinging things by IP, one for analyzing CPU usage, one for port usage, one for etc. etc. etc. If you feel like it, create a prog/screensaver that has all this recorded and playing. Be sure to physically move around your "I'm working on these" PCs constantly... even if it's just from one desk to another so that it appears you are in constant motion and very productive.
Always walk quickly and never make eye contact. Bring papers to read while you walk through the hall... if someone asks you something don't stop... just mumble incoherently when you are far enough away. Be sure to sound like you care though! Another option is to call your buddy and talk hardcore techie speak on the cell while moving about among the humans.
For emergencies, create a fake assistant, and refer everyone to that "person" whenever you accidentally run into people in the hall. Create a canned response and occassionally respond via email from your fake friend.
Slashdot Mirror
The smaller telecom companies were selling you T1 lines, but when they broke the big company was ultimately the one to fix it. Meaning you called company B, who eventually called company A. Company A, being the big mean one that costs more, would take it's sweet time fixing problem for company B. Meanwhile company A's customers were fixed in a jiffy. Hell, i've even seen company A break things for company B, and then drag ass when it was time to fix it. Pathetic. And sadly, we cant afford to be down, so we have to go with Company A now (deregulation is forcing us anyhow).
Time for a serious response. Sounds like they respect you for doing such a good job given the crazy circumstances. I respect you for that, but I also have to emphasize that you need to get priorities straight. Your home life, in my opinion, should be before work life. Your family and closest friends should take precedence... especially when it's past the 8 hours you are paid for. And you need time for yourself. Live a little... the company isn't as important as your life. Take your job seriously, but really consider what matters in the long run. Back to the question: I think you need to learn to say no sometimes. You don't have to be a jerk... you can be really round about in saying it... or you can just say "Can it wait a while? I have some semi-emergency projects that I have to complete". Be really careful about who you hire. I would really take my time... get someone who really rocks. Attitude will matter more than knowledge or skills in this situation, I'd say. Get someone who will learn on their own but isnt afraid to ask for help. If you get someone with an attitude you will regret it. Pick one or two manager types to get to know personally... go to lunch with them and figure out what will help them. If you have a cool CFO or respected accountant, I can guarantee you that there will be software out there that they need badly. You be the man in control of implementing/recommending it... or if they have some in mind, become the expert. and they'll understand your worth. Get a friend to make some good software on the side that is relatively easy to make. Get the company to buy it. Make sure it's a friend (or yourself) so that you won't be fighting something that is trouble... you want something that will make your life easier. Work a little overtime for free, but not much. Actually after 6 years of that, i bet they owe you two years of overtime.
250:1? come on, you can do better. 1 system/network/pcTech/programmer/ITmanager/WEBadmi n can easily support 2000 PCs and 400 servers. How you ask? Simple, ignore everything you don't feel like doing, turn off your phone, basically never answer email, and lock your door a lot. Always have consultants work on anything major.
Sure, many users will have to get used to doing everything by paper again... but you are bound to be in high demand and have plenty of job security. Naturally you'll be lying your ass off about what you are really doing.
Most days you'll be hiding in some abandoned office surfing the net or in the server room with the door locked working on some obscure project that will only help you... just be sure you answer emails from upper mgt and your boss. Otherwise, nothing to worry about.
I'd also highly recommend researching some good time-delay email notifications. Make sure they think you are up at 1 AM nearly every night working on major issues. Be creative and random so they don't catch on. Invest time in making scripts that don't do anything, but appears to be doing lots of "self-healing" bullshitness from the users' perspective. When you feel like it, email them the script to "fix their problem". If they complain it didnt work, blame it on them. Try things like "Did you open any weird emails in the last few weeks"? Even if they say no they only deleted them, then you have them: "So you did get some weird emails, huh? Right, those will tear up a PC even if you click on them to delete them." Tell them to do their windows/AV/Java/etc. BS updates... be sure to have a printout or email with cryptic or outdated instructions on how to manually do updates and send it out to anyone who won't give up bothering you.
Always have about 3-5 computers (with monitors) running at your desk at all times with all sorts of apparent installs and nonsense going on. Have a minimum of 20 windows open on at least one box. One window for pinging things by IP, one for analyzing CPU usage, one for port usage, one for etc. etc. etc. If you feel like it, create a prog/screensaver that has all this recorded and playing. Be sure to physically move around your "I'm working on these" PCs constantly... even if it's just from one desk to another so that it appears you are in constant motion and very productive.
Always walk quickly and never make eye contact. Bring papers to read while you walk through the hall... if someone asks you something don't stop... just mumble incoherently when you are far enough away. Be sure to sound like you care though! Another option is to call your buddy and talk hardcore techie speak on the cell while moving about among the humans.
For emergencies, create a fake assistant, and refer everyone to that "person" whenever you accidentally run into people in the hall. Create a canned response and occassionally respond via email from your fake friend.
Sincerely full of it,
Mr. The WHOLE IT DEPT at my office
You got so many Bossk details right... but he doesn't have tentacles and I don't think his face is soft or baggy. What gives? He's more like a lizardman. Which begs the question, why would he be slimey? I think he was just sweating a lot. =] http://www.bothan-online.com/IMG/jpg/bossk.jpg http://www.starwars.com/databank/character/bossk/