A Chinese colleague of mine once remarked that my buddha belly would mark me as a lucky person in China
Maybe in China, but I found out when I put on a huge gut from taking Paxil and drinking beer that in America, you never get lucky with a big gut. Now that I'm off the Paxil I lost all the weight I gained... Oh hell I still don't get lucky very often. But with the Bhudda Belly I never got lucky.
You were trying for funny, but I'd have modded you insightful. After half a century on this planet I've discovered that you should never EVER take any of these studies seriously. Woody Allen had it right in "sleeper".
They used to say butter would kill you. It was cheaper than margarine, and as I like butter that was ok by me. But now? Margarine is bad for you and butter is good for you! The price has skyrocketed.
Or salt. Salt is bad for you because it raises blood pressure. But when I get my blood pressure taken, it's always low. Clearly salt isn't going to hurt me. Plus it's about the only way to get iodine.
They keep doing studies trying to prove that marijuana is bad for you - only the studies keep saying it's GOOD for you! One study tried to prove it caused cancer, but instead proved it prevents cancer!
As the body count continues to rise, a shaken nation is struggling to cope in the wake of the mass deaths sweeping the world population. With no concrete figures available at this early stage, experts estimate at least 250,000 U.S. citizens have died in the last month alone, with death tolls across the globe reaching into the millions.
The wave of deaths has left a brutal aftermath, rocking survivors with feelings of loss and horror, traumatizing the American cultural landscape to its core and leaving behind emotional devastation some say may take years to heal.
What's worse, experts say, the crisis shows no signs of letting up any time soon.
"Oh, my God," sobbed Edina, MN resident Elizabeth Kendrick, 42, whose father, retired insurance actuary Gilbert Ploman, 68, lost his life last Thursday at Shady Villa Nursing Home. "He was a good man, a kind man who never did anything to deserve this terrible fate. Why did something like this have to happen? Oh, God, why?"
Muscle mass is heavier than fat mass. When I was on the Paxils I weighed 165 pounds and looked fat. My friend who worked his ass off in a factory weighed the same as me and was shorter, but he looked skinny.
"sudo apt-get install foobar" scares non-techies. Say "Install foobar from Add/Remove (or Synaptic)" instead.
Since foobar=fubar="fucked up beyond all recognition", why would I want to install a Microsoft product on my nice Linux machine? That would be like putting a Yugo hood ornament on my Cadillac!
Installing a program named foobar would scare the hell out of me regardless of the installation method.
The signal travels the same rate, but if the bandwidth is 5 times as great it will send the same amount of data five times as fast. Think about an old 300 baud modem vs an old 55k modem; the signal travels at the same speed, but the web page loads faster on the 55k.
Radio: "Dear Grandma"
Laser: "Dear Grandma, please send another box of cookies"
The end of the message arrives sooner, so it is indeed faster, even though the signals travel at the same speed.
-mcgrew (yes, I did have a 300 baud modem. I used it on Compuserve with my Radio Shack computer. It was slllooooooow.)
You assume my wife is not a hooker? All women are prostitutes, but not all prostitutes will have sex with me. Some prostitutes are satisfied with a single client, so long as he has what she wants. The most expensive I ever had cost a house, a car, and part of my future pension.
You mean you don't pay your wife for sex? I no longer have a wife. At least, not one of my own.
Try quitting your job and see how much sex you get. I'm not getting much now and I have a job.
Maybe I've been away from it too long, too. Doom 3 was the first game I'd bought in years, and I was flabbergasted that it required Windows XP. Even though I've had XP on the machine for a while now (Sony's rootkit took care of that, couldn't find my video drivers and 98 was unsupported) I still haven't installed it. It's a shame too, the old DOOM was one of my five all time favorite games.
It will take a lot to get me back into computer gaming.
"Microsoft has suggested that Google is not experienced enough or capable of fully developing a workable platform. Microsoft's vice president, Steve Ballmer inferred that Google's interest in the field will also wane due to it being 'deeply unsexy', and that development is not likely for such a platform because "You have [...] a lot of zeroes in your sales figures before a developer gets out of bed." In the same series of statements, Linux is likened to a cancer: "About every three months this year there has been a Linux initiative of some sort launched. It's a bit like cancer. It keeps coming round and then we die.""
Actually, that's incotrrect. Alaska has a larger land mass and California has a larger population. And the words to "Breakfast in America" are wrong too.
Damned anonymous cowards these days, get off my lawn you whippersnappin' ACs!
I realize I shouldn't expect the/. editors to actually edit, but it would be nice sometimes
They do edit actually, at least sometimes. Of half dozen stories I submitted that were posted this year, only one made it verbatim. One of them was completely rewritten.
There's nothing wrong with prostitution, but it's illegal. Adultery is wrong but there's no law against it. Would you rather I fuck a hooker or or fuck your wife?
The kid who got a blowjob from his girlfriend (hardly "sex", it's just a blowjob. Blowjobs are only ten bucks here, sex is $20 and up) got out of jail.
However, he went BACK in jail over violating probation he got on an EARLIER crime he had committed that didn't involve getting his dick sucked. He's in jail now, but for something a little more important than a blow job, IIRC it was an illegal gun.
As to the other asshole, he didn't deliberately murder anyone. He's in the same league as the nitwit who runs a red light and slams into another car and kills someone because he's yakking on hus phone. In either case, the "killer" is going to punish himself far worse than the state ever could.
Slashdot Mirror
My grandmother told me when she was 95 years old "I don't know why people want to live to be a hundred. It ain't no fun bein' old!"
She died in 2003 just short of her hundredth birthday.
-mcgrew
A Chinese colleague of mine once remarked that my buddha belly would mark me as a lucky person in China
Maybe in China, but I found out when I put on a huge gut from taking Paxil and drinking beer that in America, you never get lucky with a big gut. Now that I'm off the Paxil I lost all the weight I gained... Oh hell I still don't get lucky very often. But with the Bhudda Belly I never got lucky.
-mcgrew
They used to say butter would kill you. It was cheaper than margarine, and as I like butter that was ok by me. But now? Margarine is bad for you and butter is good for you! The price has skyrocketed.
Or salt. Salt is bad for you because it raises blood pressure. But when I get my blood pressure taken, it's always low. Clearly salt isn't going to hurt me. Plus it's about the only way to get iodine.
They keep doing studies trying to prove that marijuana is bad for you - only the studies keep saying it's GOOD for you! One study tried to prove it caused cancer, but instead proved it prevents cancer!
And as an Onion story said:
-mcgrew
"Whenever you meet fat hookers, you feel bad, because you know they're going to eat you."
-mcgrew
Muscle mass is heavier than fat mass. When I was on the Paxils I weighed 165 pounds and looked fat. My friend who worked his ass off in a factory weighed the same as me and was shorter, but he looked skinny.
-mcgrew
You should have linked the picture.
Mods? That was funny! There's no extra karma for funny, ya know. It was also on-topic. Does that dead Spanish guy have to explain the joke to you?
Once you're young and illiterate it's fairly normal to die from a drug overdose.
-mcgrew
PS- Get the hell off my lawn, punk.
I think your fourth item nicely covers the others, including "etc".
So that's how freedom ends... to thunderous applause.
I guess I should have added a smiley;)
"sudo apt-get install foobar" scares non-techies. Say "Install foobar from Add/Remove (or Synaptic)" instead.
Since foobar=fubar="fucked up beyond all recognition", why would I want to install a Microsoft product on my nice Linux machine? That would be like putting a Yugo hood ornament on my Cadillac!
Installing a program named foobar would scare the hell out of me regardless of the installation method.
-mcgrew
The signal travels the same rate, but if the bandwidth is 5 times as great it will send the same amount of data five times as fast. Think about an old 300 baud modem vs an old 55k modem; the signal travels at the same speed, but the web page loads faster on the 55k.
Radio: "Dear Grandma"
Laser: "Dear Grandma, please send another box of cookies"
The end of the message arrives sooner, so it is indeed faster, even though the signals travel at the same speed.
-mcgrew (yes, I did have a 300 baud modem. I used it on Compuserve with my Radio Shack computer. It was slllooooooow.)
Who said I wasn't going to pay?
Somebody's got to keep you kids in line!
Federal judges are both mandatory and very unfair in a large number of cases.
Or you could buy a dedicated game system that hooked in to the big screen TV set.
Depends on how much you're willing to pay my wife.
Twenty bucks is the going rate, ten for a blow job
You assume my wife is not a hooker?
All women are prostitutes, but not all prostitutes will have sex with me. Some prostitutes are satisfied with a single client, so long as he has what she wants. The most expensive I ever had cost a house, a car, and part of my future pension.
You mean you don't pay your wife for sex?
I no longer have a wife. At least, not one of my own.
Try quitting your job and see how much sex you get.
I'm not getting much now and I have a job.
OMFG, nobody's said that to me since 6th grade. I always felt sorry for another kid in the class, Charlie Salmon.
Maybe I've been away from it too long, too. Doom 3 was the first game I'd bought in years, and I was flabbergasted that it required Windows XP. Even though I've had XP on the machine for a while now (Sony's rootkit took care of that, couldn't find my video drivers and 98 was unsupported) I still haven't installed it. It's a shame too, the old DOOM was one of my five all time favorite games.
It will take a lot to get me back into computer gaming.
-mcgrew
Actually, that's incotrrect. Alaska has a larger land mass and California has a larger population. And the words to "Breakfast in America" are wrong too.
Damned anonymous cowards these days, get off my lawn you whippersnappin' ACs!
-mcgrew
I realize I shouldn't expect the /. editors to actually edit, but it would be nice sometimes
They do edit actually, at least sometimes. Of half dozen stories I submitted that were posted this year, only one made it verbatim. One of them was completely rewritten.
-mcgrew
Matter Discovered Traveling at Near Light Speed
Racketeering Trial of MS and Best Buy Can Proceed
Carmack's Armadillo Aerospace Rocket Crashes and Burns
Leonard Nimoy to Play Spock in Next Star Trek Movie
Student Arrested for Writing Essay
Diebold Voting Machines Vulnerable to Virus Attack
Brains Hard-Wired for Math
There's nothing wrong with prostitution, but it's illegal. Adultery is wrong but there's no law against it. Would you rather I fuck a hooker or or fuck your wife?
-mcgrew
The kid who got a blowjob from his girlfriend (hardly "sex", it's just a blowjob. Blowjobs are only ten bucks here, sex is $20 and up) got out of jail.
However, he went BACK in jail over violating probation he got on an EARLIER crime he had committed that didn't involve getting his dick sucked. He's in jail now, but for something a little more important than a blow job, IIRC it was an illegal gun.
As to the other asshole, he didn't deliberately murder anyone. He's in the same league as the nitwit who runs a red light and slams into another car and kills someone because he's yakking on hus phone. In either case, the "killer" is going to punish himself far worse than the state ever could.
-mcgrew