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Mmmmm. Moose.

Drop kick me Jesus through the goal posts of life
End over end neither left nor to right
Straight through the heart of them righteous uprights
Drop kick me Jesus through the goal posts of life.

Make me, oh make me, Lord more than I am
Make me a piece in your master game plan
Free from the earthly tempestion below
I've got the will, Lord if you've got the toe.

Drop kick me Jesus through the goal posts of life
End over end neither left nor to right
Straight through the heart of them righteous uprights
Drop kick me Jesus through the goal posts of life.

Take all the brothers who've gone on before
And all of the sisters who've knocked on your door
All the departed dear loved ones of mine
Stick'em up front in the offensive line.

Drop kick me Jesus through the goal posts of life
End over end neither left nor to right
Straight through the heart of them righteous uprights
Drop kick me Jesus through the goal posts of life.

Yeah, Drop kick me Jesus through the goal posts of life
End over end neither left nor to right
Straight through the heart of them righteous uprights
Drop kick me Jesus through the goal posts of life.

The passage cited above contains no fewer than 19 different Canadianisms. In order:
* pogey: EI (Employment insurance). Money provided by the government for not working.
* mickey: A small bottle of booze (13 oz) (A Texas mickey, on the other hand, is a ridiculously big bottle of booze, which, despite the name, is still a Canadianism through and through.)
* C.C.: Canadian Club, a brand of rye. Not to be confused with "hockey stick," another kind of Canadian Club.
* beer parlour: Like an ice cream parlour, but for Canadians.
* skidoo: Self-propelled decapitation unit for teenagers, (Snow-Mobiles)
* muskeg: Boggy swampland.
* duplex: A single building divided in half with two sets of inhabitants - each trying to pretend the other doesn't exist while at the same time managing to drive each other crazy; metaphor for Canada's french and English.
* deke: found in the dictionary as a "skillful misdirection." As a noun, it is used most often in exclamatory constructions, such as: "Whadda deke!" Meaning, "My, what an impressive display of physical dexterity employing misdirection and guile."
* chinook: An unseasonably warm wind that comes over the Rockies and onto the plains, melting snow banks in Calgary but just missing Edmonton, much to the pleasure of Calgarians.
* Mountie: Canadian icon, strong of jaw, red of coat, pure of heart. Always get their man! (See also Pepper spray, uses of.)
* snuck: To have sneaked; to move, past tense, in a sneaky manner; non-restrictive extended semi-gerundial form of "did sneak." (We think.)
* ghost car: An unmarked police car, easily identifiable by its inconspicuousness.
* impaired: A charge of drunk driving. Used both as a noun and as an adjective
(the alternative adjectival from of "impaired" being "pissed to the gills").
* S.O.L.: Shit outta luck; in an unfortunate predicament.
* Stanfields: Men's underwear, especially Grandpa-style, white cotton ones with a big elastic waistband and a large superfluous flap in the front and back!
* tuque : Canada's official National Head Apparel, with about the same suave sex appeal as a pair of Stanfields
* chippy: Behaviour that is inappropriately aggressive; constantly looking for a reason to find offense; from "chip on one's shoulder." (See WesternCanada) shit disturber: (See Quebec) a troublemaker or provocateur.
According to Katherine Barber, editor in Chief of the Canadian Oxford Dictionary, "shit disturber" is a distinctly Canadian term. (Just remember that Western Canada is chippy and Quebec is a shit disturber, and you will do fine.)

I thought that Bill Gates bought the Catholic Church?! See Here

http://bertc.com/sniglets.htm

another popular thing to do is to redefine a word already in use, or mangle the meaning of the common use of the word. Consider how some conservatives changed the word liberal from something good to a derogatory term. Another example is how the word 'hacker' is used to really mean 'cracker'. The RIAA and MPAA often says 'stealing' instead of 'copying' which are completely different in meaning. Witness how microsoft is trying to change the meaning of open source to infer socialism. The thing about all this is, that with enough attention paid by the public, the words can be transformed into something altogether different and affect public opinion. Which was the original intent of the word alteration to begin with. Things like this can't be defended against unless specific meaning definitions are defined by law and adhered to. If that doesn't happen, then a counter campaign must be waged to keep the word meaning intact.

OOPS .. wrong link.. Check here..ROFL.

from http://bertc.com/three_crows.htm :

Crow Pie:

1 crow
stuffing of your choice
salt and pepper
shortening
flour
2 Pie crust mixes
2-3 hard-boiled eggs

Stuff the crow. Loosen joints with a knife but do not cut through.
Simmer the crow in a stew-pan, with enough water to cover, until nearly tender, then season with salt and pepper. Remove meat from bones and set aside.
Prepare pie crusts as directed. (Do not bake)
Make a medium thick gravy with flour, shortening, and juices in which the crow has cooked and let cool.
Line a pie plate with pie crust and line with slices of hard-boiled egg. Place crow meat on top. Layer gravy over the crow. Place second pie dough crust over top.
Bake at 450 degrees for 1/2 hour.

Collected by Bert Christensen
Toronto, Ontario

SARS is thought to have made the leap into people in the live-animal marketplaces of Guangdong province, China. Researchers have so far found the culprit virus in three animals from the markets: masked palm civets, raccoon dogs and ferret badgers.

Damn! There go my Christmas barbeque plans. How the heck am I going to keep up my reputation without my signature ferret badger brule' ?

I mean, Turducken is sooo 2002, and do you know how big a freezer you'd need for the leftovers from just one Stuffed Camel?

I guess we're going to have to fall back on the barn cats. Again.