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Here is the link to the original Brunching feature: Why there's no Microsoft Settlement

If you're going to post material copied from Brunching Shuttlecocks you should at least credit them...

For a good laugh check out the open letter from Metallica on Brunching Shuttlecocks. It explains the importance of promotional money aka "We don't suck" money. It answers your question "Why am I paying for someone to tell me what I like?"

For the humor-impaired--it's a joke. At any rate, I got a chuckle out of it.

numb

Did you guys really write this?

(I know you didn't, but I still thought it was kinda funny.)

Has anyone seen it yet? :)
http://www.brunching .com/features/feature-metallicaletter.html

Oh, and BTW, I would recommend people read the artistdirect.com chat transcript to avoid repeating questions that Metallica&Lawyers have already expertly handled.

The brunching shuttlecocks has a page about this topic. Very funny stuff.

The brunching shuttlecocks has a page about this topic. Very funny stuff.

My crazy Jungian-influenced friends and I really were bul^H^H^Htheorizing about the Gungan's slapstick arete after we saw The Phantom Menace. But that's not important -- the Brunching Shuttlecocks predicted Jar Jar's shocking fate long ago.

- laborit

The bad do bad because the bad is rewarded. The good do good because the good is rewarded.

The Brunching Shuttlecocks (hi fsck!) have a good article on why there's no settlement yet: http://www.brunching.com/features/feature-microsof tsettlement.html

The Self-made Critic on Brunching Shuttlecocks had a review of Scream 3 a little while back. His conclusion was that, although all the evidence pointed to the fact that this movie ought to have sucked, in fact it ended up being, well, fun.

As for my own opinion, needless to say, Scream 3 fails one of the prerequisites of a good film: it relies on too many popular culture references. Lasting films are self-contained, and if they have to lampoon something, it's a universal aspect of human nature or some such. Just look at the Princess Bride, for example. It's timeless, except for the opening scene where Fred Savage is playing the nintendo game "Bases Loaded". Some things are best left out, but clearly Scream 3 isn't aiming for that.

On a related note, why would any of us see any movie given the state of the MPAA/DVD/DeCSS situation?

Cheers,
Slak

LOL!
the folks put in all that effort and spelled "millennium" wrong in the opening text crawl!

It still doesn't beat my 2 favourite Blair Witch parodies: Sergio Aragones' latest comic "Blair Which?" and the *brilliant* Family Circus version.

Pope

Every time I see someone mention the "million monkeys" thing, I am compelled to offer this link:

Monkeys, Numbers, and You

Enjoy.

"Most harmful of all is the message that Verisign's buy-outs have conveyed to every company with the potential to innovate in the securities industry. Through its conduct toward Netscape, Thawte, Compaq, Microsoft, and others, Verisign has demonstrated that it will use its prodigious market power and immense finances to harm any firm that insists on pursuing initiatives that could intensify competition against one of Verisign's digital-certificates products. Verisign's past success in hurting such transactions and stifling innovation deters investment in technologies and orders that exhibit the potential to undermine Verisign. The ultimate result is that some innovations that would truly benefit customers never occur for the sole reason that they do not jive with Verisign's vision."

With appologies to Brunchi ng Shuttlecocks.

Most harmful of all is the message that Microsoft's hos have conveyed to every bitch with the potential to slut around in the cunt industry. Through its conduct toward Netscape, microlegend, Compaq, performance technologies, and others, Microsoft has demonstrated that it will use its prodigious market power and immense cocks to harm any firm that insists on pursuing initiatives that could intensify competition against one of Microsoft's slimy products. Microsoft's past success in hurting such asses and stifling innovation deters investment in technologies and mouths that exhibit the potential to suck Microsoft. The ultimate result is that some innovations that would truly eat consumers never occur for the sole reason that they do not chew with Microsoft's pubic hair.

For those who don't want to go through the whole thing, here's a nonsense words version
--

but I figured I could fit it in because it had something to do with random phrase generation...

go check this out, it's called The Jedi Training Generator. Click on "yodify" and it makes cool, randomly generated (I believe) Yoda-like statements.

Wouldn't it be common slashdot ettiquite to at least provide some sort of link to the people you're ripping off? I opened up slashdot this morning and felt like I'd just gotten another email forward from my aunt....

... has been doing this for a few years now. Here or here.

... has been doing this for a few years now. Here or here.

I particularly like this bit on 'Hygiene':
"floss every day": 80
"wear clean socks:" 87
"clean up the blood": 197

I particularly like this bit on 'Hygiene':
"floss every day": 80
"wear clean socks:" 87
"clean up the blood": 197

I particularly like this bit on 'Hygiene':
"floss every day": 80
"wear clean socks:" 87
"clean up the blood": 197

This was funny the first time...when Brunching Shuttlecocks Did it.. Though their records were a little different..

Ah yes. The great usenet definition of "censorship", pulled from the How To Argue On Usenet article featured on The Brunching Shuttlecocks:

Censorship
Whenever anyone calls you a chowderhead, tells you they've heard more coherent statements from randomly arranged Scrabble tiles, or disagrees with you, they are practicing censorship. People who believe in free speech keep their opinions to themselves. Except you, of course.

How in the name of all things good and plenty is filtering out Jon Katz from someone's personal profile practicing censorship? Katz still has the right to say whatever he likes, it's just this one guy isn't going to see it because he chooses not to.

And as far as being "closed minded", he's filtering out Katz because he's read lots of Katz and has yet to see him say anything worthwhile. He's given Katz a chance, and didn't care for it. So he's doing what every Katz fan tells anyone who disagrees with Katz to do.

I do wish chowderheads could pick a position and stick with it.

Ah yes. The great usenet definition of "censorship", pulled from the How To Argue On Usenet article featured on The Brunching Shuttlecocks:

Censorship
Whenever anyone calls you a chowderhead, tells you they've heard more coherent statements from randomly arranged Scrabble tiles, or disagrees with you, they are practicing censorship. People who believe in free speech keep their opinions to themselves. Except you, of course.

How in the name of all things good and plenty is filtering out Jon Katz from someone's personal profile practicing censorship? Katz still has the right to say whatever he likes, it's just this one guy isn't going to see it because he chooses not to.

And as far as being "closed minded", he's filtering out Katz because he's read lots of Katz and has yet to see him say anything worthwhile. He's given Katz a chance, and didn't care for it. So he's doing what every Katz fan tells anyone who disagrees with Katz to do.

I do wish chowderheads could pick a position and stick with it.

Check out:

http://www.brunching.com/toys/toy-doma insale.html

Funny stuff. Dunno if this was already posted as I didn't find this story overly interesting, but there you go.

"Your domain name: starwarsporn.net

Estimated value: $9000"

Wooooo!

Anyone remember a text-based adventure game (a la Zork), where you played a detective and had to find a killer. There was a butler named Fong, and it took place in a mansion... I never solved it, but I'd kill to know who the killer was. Me and my best friend spent like an entire summer playing that game, never being able to win it.

Well, maybe not that much off topic, but Rob, I noticed Today's Weather in Hell no longer shows up on my custom page. I looked around the Brunching site and found it
here

BTW, Today's WIH is detatched eyeballs.