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Brunching Shuttlecocks' Findings on Microsoft Case
Quite a number of people recently, includingWrexSoul wrote to say "Are you tired of waiting for the judge's findings-of-law in the Microsoft case? There's a Mad Libs-like toy on Brunching Shuttlecocks where you can have some automatically generated for you by a pack of disgruntled Keebler Elves. " Boy, I sure am *verb* about *subject*
Well it was funny for the first 5 ad-lib response posts. *Yawns and wonders if tomorrow there will be 600 posts of peoples' adlib responses and wonders if anyone will read them*
(-5 Commentary from bitter y2k programmer)
Most harmful of all is the message that Microsoft's hos have conveyed to every bitch with the potential to slut around in the cunt industry. Through its conduct toward Netscape, microlegend, Compaq, performance technologies, and others, Microsoft has demonstrated that it will use its prodigious market power and immense cocks to harm any firm that insists on pursuing initiatives that could intensify competition against one of Microsoft's slimy products. Microsoft's past success in hurting such asses and stifling innovation deters investment in technologies and mouths that exhibit the potential to suck Microsoft. The ultimate result is that some innovations that would truly eat consumers never occur for the sole reason that they do not chew with Microsoft's pubic hair.
Here is mine! :)
Most harmful of all is the message that Microsoft's emacs have conveyed to every vi with the potential to grep in the pine industry. Through its conduct toward Netscape, Red Hat, Compaq, Slashdot, and others, Microsoft has demonstrated that it will use its prodigious market power and immense *NIXs to harm any firm that insists on pursuing initiatives that could intensify competition against one of Microsoft's gnu products. Microsoft's past success in hurting such linux and stifling innovation deters investment in technologies and less that exhibit the potential to sed Microsoft. The ultimate result is that some innovations that would truly awk consumers never occur for the sole reason that they do not perl with Microsoft's tail.
This space for sale
So, too, in prose. A simple typo is no big deal. But incorrect reasoning is something to be always wary of.
Very much so :-)
"Most harmful of all is the message that Microsoft's Boys have conveyed to every Weapon with the potential to Shoot in the Saskatchewan industry. Through its conduct toward Netscape, Dell, Compaq, Compaq, and others, Microsoft has demonstrated that it will use its prodigious market power and immense Girls to harm any firm that insists on pursuing initiatives that could intensify competition against one of Microsoft's Super products. Microsoft's past success in hurting such Dogs and stifling innovation deters investment in technologies and Hermaphrodites that exhibit the potential to Fuck Microsoft. The ultimate result is that some innovations that would truly benefit Pigs never occur for the sole reason that they do not Fly with Microsoft's Dave."
---
--
Internet Explorer (n): Another bug -- that is, a feature that can't be turned off -- in Windows.
Does this
wow... that's so cool... programming lesson from Tom Christiansen... slashdot rules.
Yes, but in this case it was a grammar (I guess that would be logic in programming terms) error. awk s/foo/bar/g is not a typo and doesn't make sense.
Jazilla.org - the Java Mozilla
It's 10 PM. Do you know if you're un-American?
Most harmful of all is the message that Microsoft's helicopters have conveyed to every goose with the potential to kill in the truck industry. Through its conduct toward Netscape, Pampers, Compaq, Coca-Cola, and others, Microsoft has demonstrated that it will use its prodigious market power and immense hand-grenades to harm any firm that insists on pursuing initiatives that could intensify competition against one of Microsoft's crazy products. Microsoft's past success in hurting such skateboarders and stifling innovation deters investment in technologies and snowmobiles that exhibit the potential to chase Microsoft. The ultimate result is that some innovations that would truly benefit dogs never occur for the sole reason that they do not fly with Microsoft's house.
Most harmful of all is the message that Microsoft's helicopters have conveyed to every goose with the potential to kill in the truck industry. Through its conduct toward Netscape, Pampers, Compaq, Coca-Cola, and others, Microsoft has demonstrated that it will use its prodigious market power and immense hand-grenades to harm any firm that insists on pursuing initiatives that could intensify competition against one of Microsoft's crazy products. Microsoft's past success in hurting such skateboarders and stifling innovation deters investment in technologies and snowmobiles that exhibit the potential to chase Microsoft. The ultimate result is that some innovations that would truly benefit dogs never occur for the sole reason that they do not fly with Microsoft's house.
Greylisting is to SMTP as NAT is to IPv4
Most harmful of all is the message that Microsoft's thieves have conveyed to every goiter with the potential to combust in the cup industry. Through its conduct toward Netscape, Caldera, Compaq, Advanced Micro Devices, and others, Microsoft has demonstrated that it will use its prodigious market power and immense mice to harm any firm that insists on pursuing initiatives that could intensify competition against one of Microsoft's flatulent products. Microsoft's past success in hurting such cars and stifling innovation deters investment in technologies and dictionaries that exhibit the potential to plunder Microsoft. The ultimate result is that some innovations that would truly benefit ledgers never occur for the sole reason that they do not sit with Microsoft's fan.
Pretty much sums it up, too.
-- Count Spatula: The Culinary Vampire "...because my cooking sucks."
..he's a computer geek & not an english teacher.
... or at least I tried to put words that a non-spanish speaker would understand :)
Most harmful of all is the message that Microsoft's tacos have conveyed to every enchilada with the potential to mambo in the guacamole industry. Through its conduct toward Netscape, Taco Bell, Compaq, Univision, and others, Microsoft has demonstrated that it will use its prodigious market power and immense fajitas to harm any firm that insists on pursuing initiatives that could intensify competition against one of Microsoft's macho products. Microsoft's past success in hurting such burritos and stifling innovation deters investment in technologies and gringos that exhibit the potential to "vive la vida loca" Microsoft. The ultimate result is that some innovations that would truly macarena consumers never occur for the sole reason that they do not tango with Microsoft's tequila.
- sigs are for wimps.
Don't mean to be a nit-pick, but it's probably
"Boy, I sure am *adverb* about *object*"
Just write a template file, decide on left and right delimiters, and then call the script from a form like this:
& delim_r=*&noun1=NOUN1&adj1=ADJ1&...
script.pl?template=TEMPLATE_FILE_PATH&delim_l=*
#!/usr/bin/perl
require './cgi-lib.pl';
&ReadParse \(%f = ());
for (keys %f) {
$$_ = $f{$_};
}
while (<$template>) {
s{ $delim_l ([\d | \w] +) $delim_r }{ $$1 }egix;
print;
}
exit;
To the editors: your English is as bad as your Perl. Please go back to grade school.
You can read more about this in the Elements of Language Manual.
I always thought that copulative verbs were things like "to fuck", "to screw", and "to sixty-nine". :-)
i sure have a large sausage!.!
Further proof Hemos need an English class. We should start a collection to send him to Hope :)
my company's corporate mission statement.
Post may contain irony: discontinue use if experiencing mood swings, nausea or elevated blood pressure.
A bit of advice: "Remind people who make a big deal about proper grammar and punctuation that, while e e cummings is famous, they're not."
Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum sonatur.
So there. :P
Vovida, OS VoIP
Beer recipe: free! #Source
Cold pints: $2 #Product
He can't be *verb*. He can only be *verb*ed or *verb*ing -- adjectival forms.
Oooh, fancy. Le petit garçon a créé l'accent aigu! Quelle intelligence! Dorkwad.
I sure am stupidly about the English language.
This is a specious and misleading argument.
e. e. cummings did not blithely violate the rules of English prose--he carefully and lovingly transcended the conventional forms of poetry as they existed in his day.
Read some of his early work (or even something like "all in green went my love riding" that, apart from the capitalisation, is more or less standard English) to get a sense of what I mean.
Think of Jackson Pollock, Piet Mondrian, Picasso, and others: their early work shows an astonishing command of the medium, and they worked very hard to get to the places they ended up. Don't delude yourself into thinking you could have been as famous as Pollock if you'd suddenly appeared out of nowhere in 1950 and dumped paint from buckets onto whatever flat surface you saw.
spawn_of_yog_sothoth
spawn_of_yog_sothoth
How about "I sure am *adjective* about *subject*"?
"Most harmful of all is the message that Microsoft's Ass Holes have conveyed to every Jerk with the potential to Fornicate in the Moose industry. Through its conduct toward Netscape, MicroSucks, Compaq, Compaq, and others, Microsoft has demonstrated that it will use its prodigious market power and immense Weasles to harm any firm that insists on pursuing initiatives that could intensify competition against one of Microsoft's Hairy products. Microsoft's past success in hurting such Boneheads and stifling innovation deters investment in technologies and Necrophiles that exhibit the potential to contemplate Microsoft. The ultimate result is that some innovations that would truly speculate consumers never occur for the sole reason that they do not defrag with Microsoft's bicycle."
--
Una piccola canzone, un piccolo ballo, poco seltzer giù i vostri pantaloni.
My office has been taken over by iPod people.
Most harmful of all is the message that Microsoft's grits have conveyed to every underwear with the potential to pour in the pants industry. Through its conduct toward Netscape, andover.net, Compaq, Red Hat, and others, Microsoft has demonstrated that it will use its prodigious market power and immense trolls to harm any firm that insists on pursuing initiatives that could intensify competition against one of Microsoft's hot products. Microsoft's past success in hurting such geeks and stifling innovation deters investment in technologies and girls that exhibit the potential to petrify Microsoft. The ultimate result is that some innovations that would truly squirt consumers never occur for the sole reason that they do not strip with Microsoft's Natelie Portman.
Regards, Ralph.
A few parsing problems, but funny nonetheless...
Most harmful of all is the message that Microsoft's hippies have conveyed to every car with the potential to fuck in the dog industry. Through its conduct toward Netscape, Dell, Compaq, McDonald's, and others, Microsoft has demonstrated that it will use its prodigious market power and immense asteroids to harm any firm that insists on pursuing initiatives that could intensify competition against one of Microsoft's throbbing products.
Microsoft's past success in hurting such socks and stifling innovation deters investment in technologies and fax machines that exhibit the potential to hurl Microsoft. The ultimate result is that some innovations that would truly emote consumers never occur for the sole reason that they do not dangle with Microsoft's alludium q36 explosive space modulator.
It seems we all like to put Microsoft as one of those companies.
God how many of these are we going to see??? Ok, I'm a hypocrite, so here's mine.
"Most harmful of all is the message that Microsoft's losers have conveyed to every Anonymous Coward with the
potential to smack in the Internet industry. Through its conduct toward Netscape, Slashdot, Compaq, Microsoft, and
others, Microsoft has demonstrated that it will use its prodigious market power and immense bunnies to harm any firm
that insists on pursuing initiatives that could intensify competition against one of Microsoft's geeky products.
Microsoft's past success in hurting such Trolls and stifling innovation deters investment in technologies and nerds that
exhibit the potential to slash dot effect Microsoft. The ultimate result is that some innovations that would truly crash
consumers never occur for the sole reason that they do not reboot with Microsoft's First Post."
Steven Rostedt
Steven Rostedt
-- Nevermind
Kinda reminds me of a program a friend of mine wrote back in the early 80's to generate his D&D dungeons.
Nothing quite so funny as watching players to trying to find rhyme or reason in the dungeon layout/content.
Keeping his secret was well worth the entertainment.
Some people have a way with words, and some people, um, thingy.
(This is only slightly offtopic...)
/. readers out there (btw, this was my only attempt at this):
Another of their random-(foo) generators is the Alanis Morrisette song generator... you supply a noun that is something you hate, six related plural nouns, your favorite color and poet, and the name of a former SO... this one is dedicated to all the
"I Think"
I Think AOLamers are really a huge problem
I Think jerks are too much on my mind
I Think spammers have got a lot to do with why the world sucks
But what can you do?
Like a green rain, beating down on me
Like a Robert Frost line, which won't let go of my brain
Like Mary's ass, it is in my head
Blame it on SPAM
Blame it on SPAM
Blame it on SPAM
I Think trolls are gonna drive us all crazy
And slashdot readers make me feel like a child
I Think hackers will eventually be the downfall of civilization
But what can you do? I said what can you do?
Like a green rain, beating down on me
Like a Robert Frost line, which won't let go of my brain
Like Mary's ass, it is in my head
Blame it on SPAM
Blame it on SPAM
Blame it on SPAM
Like a green rain, beating down on me
Like Mary's smile, cruel and cold
Like Robert Frost's ass, it is in my head
Blame it on SPAM
Blame it on SPAM
Blame it on SPAM
Probably copyright of the brunching shuttlecock guys, but you never know!
Eric
For those who don't want to go through the whole thing, here's a nonsense words version
--
Xenu loves you!
Most harmful of all is the message that Microsoft's cows have conveyed to every bull with the potential to eat in the mouse industry. Through its conduct toward Netscape, microsoft, Compaq, netcrash, and others, Microsoft has demonstrated that it will use its prodigious market power and immense cows to harm any firm that insists on pursuing initiatives that could
intensify competition against one of
Microsoft's new products. Microsoft's past
success in hurting such beans and stifling
innovation deters investment in technologies
and bulls that exhibit the potential to buy
Microsoft. The ultimate result is that
some innovations that would truly sell
consumers never occur for the sole reason
that they do not kill with Microsoft's software.
Most harmful of all is the message that Microsoft's companies have conveyed to every geeks with the potential to smacked in the it professionals industry. Through its conduct toward Netscape, Novell, Compaq, Red Hat, and others, Microsoft has demonstrated that it will use its prodigious market power and immense nerds to harm any firm that insists on pursuing initiatives that could intensify competition against one of Microsoft's intense products. Microsoft's past success in hurting such hackers and stifling innovation deters investment in technologies and coders that exhibit the potential to thwack Microsoft. The ultimate result is that some innovations that would truly blast consumers never occur for the sole reason that they do not screw with Microsoft's people
GIHM -The light at the end of the tunnel is only the oncoming train.
"Boy, I sure am *verb* about *subject*"
As in, "Boy, I sure am 'jump' about 'Hemos'"?
Perhaps you mean "Boy, I sure am *adjective* about *object*"
Jazilla.org - the Java Mozilla
It's 10 PM. Do you know if you're un-American?
..can be found here at National Game Review's site.
Crap, I botched NGR's main site URL. Sorry 'bout that. :P
SHUTTLECOCK?!!?!? SHUTTLE---COCK?!??!?!?!!??
ROFL! Mwahahahahah!!!
Oh geez they'll NEVER take this seriously!!!
yeah
Most harmful of all is the message that Microsoft's weasels have conveyed to every seam with the potential to recognize in the armoir industry. Through its conduct toward Netscape, Hughbert's Hosiery, Compaq, Tractors R Us, and others, Microsoft has demonstrated that it will use its prodigious market power and immense diseases to harm any firm that insists on pursuing initiatives that could intensify competition against one of Microsoft's bloated products. Microsoft's past success in hurting such bunions and stifling innovation deters investment in technologies and traffic cones that exhibit the potential to slam Microsoft. The ultimate result is that some innovations that would truly benefit internal organs never occur for the sole reason that they do not repress with Microsoft's fantastic bottom.
Most harmful of all is the message that Microsoft's Frank Zappa fans have conveyed to every toilet with the potential to disenfranchise in the martini industry. Through its conduct toward Netscape, Real Doll, Inc., Compaq, Vovida Networks, Inc., and others, Microsoft has demonstrated that it will use its prodigious market power and immense motherfuckers to harm any firm that insists on pursuing initiatives that could intensify competition against one of Microsoft's gooshy products. Microsoft's past success in hurting such Asians and stifling innovation deters investment in technologies and ping-pong paddles that exhibit the potential to frobnicate Microsoft. The ultimate result is that some innovations that would truly benefit emacs modes never occur for the sole reason that they do not dissolve with Microsoft's hunk of feta cheese.
Most harmful of all is the message that Microsoft's nipples have conveyed to every breast with the potential to fondle in the buttock industry. Through its conduct toward Netscape, Microsoft, Compaq, Apple, and others, Microsoft has demonstrated that it will use its prodigious market power and immense turds to harm any firm that insists on pursuing initiatives that could intensify competition against one of Microsoft's smelly products. Microsoft's past success in hurting such balls and stifling innovation deters investment in technologies and bricks that exhibit the potential to shit Microsoft. The ultimate result is that some innovations that would truly flush consumers never occur for the sole reason that they do not vomit with Microsoft's floater.
Do we want more Microsoft Law Suit stories?
o No!
o No! No! No!
o Pants!
Most harmful of all is the message that Microsoft's coyotes have conveyed to every ESR and RMS with the potential to brag in the wild-as-in-the-jungle software industry. Through its conduct toward Netscape, VA Linus, Compaq, RedHelmet, and others, Microsoft has demonstrated that it will use its prodigious market power and immense popcorn stocks to harm any firm that insists on pursuing initiatives that could intensify competition against one of Microsoft's too-good-to-be-true products. Microsoft's past success in hurting such trolls and stifling innovation deters investment in technologies and whatchamacallies that exhibit the potential to reduce the head of Microsoft. The ultimate result is that some innovations that would truly flog consumers never occur for the sole reason that they do not ride along with Microsoft's buggy-whip.
:)
I thought this was pretty good.
Most harmful of all is the message that Microsoft's boxes have conveyed to every radio with the potential to disembowl in the sportscar industry. Through its conduct toward Netscape, Amazon.com Inc., Compaq, Time Magazine Inc., and others, Microsoft has demonstrated that it will use its prodigious market power and immense mice to harm any firm that insists on pursuing initiatives that could intensify competition against one of Microsoft's lucid products. Microsoft's past success in hurting such knaves and stifling innovation deters investment in technologies and wives that exhibit the potential to disguise Microsoft. The ultimate result is that some innovations that would truly run consumers never occur for the sole reason that they do not punch with Microsoft's stapler.
"In individuals, insanity is rare, but in groups, parties, nations, and epochs it is the rule." -Nietzsche
Vaguely funny, I suppose:
"Most harmful of all is the message that Microsoft's Anonymous Cowards have conveyed to every self-proclaimed expert with the potential to petrify in the grit industry. Through its conduct toward Netscape, Jon Katz, Compaq, Natalie Portman, and others, Microsoft has demonstrated that it will use its prodigious market power and immense marketing department to harm any firm that insists on pursuing initiatives that could intensify competition against one of Microsoft's feeble products. Microsoft's past success in hurting such conspiracy and stifling innovation deters investment in technologies and alternative operating systems that exhibit the potential to Slashdot Microsoft. The ultimate result is that some innovations that would truly hack consumers never occur for the sole reason that they do not first-post with Microsoft's warez. "
since everyone else is posting their favorites, I guess I will too....
"Most harmful of all is the message that Microsoft's Gods have conveyed to every House with the potential to fuck in the chocolate industry. Through its conduct toward Netscape, Warner Brothers, Compaq, Wal-Mart, and others, Microsoft has demonstrated that it will use its prodigious market power and immense cabinets to harm any firm that insists on pursuing initiatives that could intensify competition against one of Microsoft's useless products. Microsoft's past success in hurting such windows and stifling innovation deters investment in technologies and chairs that exhibit the potential to whip Microsoft. The ultimate result is that some innovations that would truly run consumers never occur for the sole reason that they do not bite with Microsoft's sign. "
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Do you even know anything about perl? -- AC Replying to Tom Christiansen post.
Yep... this is the dumbest thing I've ever seen on slashdot. Congrats guys! Next thing you know you'll be reporting stock news.
Slashdot.org, news for people who like to think they're nerds. Stuff that sorta matters, but mixed with anti-MS bullshit and stock news.
Hemos - it's *adjective* about *noun*, a verb is a going word. :-) :-)
Right - pedantry over with.
I just got (with only minor tweaking from my first attempt):
Most harmful of all is the message that Microsoft's rabbits have conveyed to every rabbit with the potential to eat in the small tank industry. Through its conduct toward Netscape, 3Com, Compaq, WalMart, and others, Microsoft has demonstrated that it will use its prodigious market power and immense guns to harm any firm that insists on pursuing initiatives that could intensify competition against one of Microsoft's wonky products. Microsoft's past success in hurting such potatoes and stifling innovation deters investment in technologies and marshmallows that exhibit the potential to run Microsoft. The ultimate result is that some innovations that would truly gender-bend consumers never occur for the sole reason that they do not wibble with Microsoft's hamper.
God I am feeling weird today.
The ultimate result is that some innovations that would truly confuse consumers never occur for the sole reason that they do not sleep with Microsoft's God.
Most harmful of all is the message that Microsoft's basketballs have conveyed to every nose with the potential to serenade in the duck industry. Through its conduct toward Netscape, Redhat, Compaq, Jon's Hardware, and others, Microsoft has demonstrated that it will use its prodigious market power and immense Jews to harm any firm that insists on pursuing initiatives that could intensify competition against one of Microsoft's itchy products. Microsoft's past success in hurting such flags and stifling innovation deters investment in technologies and donated livers that exhibit the potential to somersault Microsoft. The ultimate result is that some innovations that would truly benefit fat men never occur for the sole reason that they do not fart with Microsoft's single time step.
I'm certain that your particular Mad-Lib experience was meaningful, because you chose particularly meaningful words. Wow, you put in verbs and nouns like "innovate" and "Red Hat", and it sounds accurate. Hey, you put in words like "ossify" and "The New Zoo Revue", and it sounds goofy. We all recognize this fact, and we know how to reproduce it for ourselves in an even more particularly meaningful way. So, please, please stop posting your examples.
Most harmful of all is the message that Microsoft's hax0rz have conveyed to every hax0r with the potential to 0wn in the skr1ptz industry. Through its conduct toward Netscape, Naked and Petrified Guy, Compaq, Anonymous Coward, and others, Microsoft has demonstrated that it will use its prodigious market power and immense 31337 to harm any firm that insists on pursuing initiatives that could intensify competition against one of Microsoft's lame products. Microsoft's past success in hurting such kiddiez and stifling innovation deters investment in technologies and sitez that exhibit the potential to r00t Microsoft. The ultimate result is that some innovations that would truly suck consumers never occur for the sole reason that they do not rule with Microsoft's lamer.
Contrary to the popular belief, there indeed is no God.
Hmmmm. Since I have the Shuttlecocks slashbox running, this story was in essence referenced twice on the Slashdot front page; that's got to count for something!
Seriously though, this one was cute, but far from the best. Hell, they've even done better Microsoft jokes. I'd include the links, but work, firewall, lalala . . . you know the deal. If you get bored, dig through the archives, a full 70-80% of the stuff is fantastic, and the weekly ratings are halarious.
Bad things often happen to good people,
It is up to them to see that they remain good.
"The ultimate result is that some innovations that would truly suck consumers never occur for the sole reason that they do not spank with Microsoft's mouse."
Urgh.
--
Mike Hoye
Sure it was mildly amusing, but isn't this more fit for a quickie instead of a story all it's own. And speaking of the quickies, it's been quite a while since we've seen one.