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I wish I still had Mod points. The Telecrapper 2000 http://www.pagerealm.com/tc2k/. This is exactly what I want.

Caution: don't /. the site to oblivion.

This software already exists! It's a free open source application called Telecrapper 2000. It refers to a text file full of phone numbers deemed "annoying" by the user and checks caller ID when the phone rings. If the caller is on the list the Telecrapper jumps into action, playing WAV files and waiting for the person on the other end to pause before playing the next WAV. After a while Telecrapper resorts to a subset of WAV files and plays them randomly until the caller hangs up.

This cute Flash animation shows the Telecrapper in action. Hilarious stuff!

I donno, I mean the Telecrapper 2000 works astonishingly well. Keep in mind that most telemarketers aren't paid much and check their brain in at the door. The sheer repetition of reading off their prompts probably makes them less adept at figuring out that ti's a computer right away.

It's been done: http://www.pagerealm.com/tc2k/

The best reason I can think of to NOT be on the DNC list is so that you can use my Telecrapper 2000.

Specs here... http://www.pagerealm.com/tc2k/

Just sit back, listen and try not to laugh out loud.

Or, if you don't want to hassle with building the Telecrapper hardware, just quickly go to this link and let the Governator do the talking for you... http://emuse.ebaumsworld.com/flash/play/1876/

Surely someone in your office can put one of these together. http://www.pagerealm.com/tc2k/

The Telecrapper 2000 Telemarketer Interception System! See this flash example of it in operation.

Sure, the do not call list might be easy, but not nearly as funny or rewarding as the Telecrapper 2000.

Just like the no-fax laws, telemarketers simply don't care. I've received endless calls from for-profit companies with falsified and blocked CID. When I tell them I am on the federal DNC list and that their call is a violation, they basically tell me the DNC list is meaningless and they will do whatever they want.

And they do. They know law enforcement doesn't care.

I'm fed up with it, so I'm working on setting up a PBX with asterisk. The aim will be that my phone won't even ring unless the caller enters a correct password. All other calls will be sent to auto-voicemail. That unique password will only be given to people who _need_ to contact me, and will be unique for each caller so it's traceable in case someone decides to "share" it.

I might even try implementing telecrapper 2000 into asterisk. Telemarketers give consumers the finger, might as well give them the finger back.

If you like doing these things, you'd love this.

When it rains, it pours. Another solution for telemarketing was invented just as DNCL is enacted.

You could use the Telecrapper 2000. It intercepts calls with blocked caller-ID and plays sounds from a list every time it detects silence. The site has some quite funny example recordings.

Using this http://www.pagerealm.com/tc2k/ And you get some hilarious recordings to boot!

The TeleCrapper 2000

do yourself the favour and listen to the transcripts.
almost makes me *want* to take my name of the do-not-call list!

I present to you... THE TELECRAPPER 2000 TELEMARKETER INTERCEPTION SYSTEM

Yeah but that is wasting my time.

My friend, you need the Telecrapper 2000. Waste their time without wasting yours! Hilarity ensues. Fun for the whole family!

Behold: the Telecrapper.

Caller ID is great for "ignoring" telemarketers, but I have hacked together an old PC and phone to make something I call the "Telecrapper". It uses the CallerID string to determine if the call is PhoneSpam. If it is it answers the call and plays a series of pre-recorded sound files. It uses silence detection to determine when the telemarketer is talking, so it carries on a virtual conversation with the dope on the other end. I haven't had one yet figure out that they're talking to a computer. These virtual conversations have all been recorded, and the best ones can be listened to at www.pagerealm.com/tc2k. They are all very funny to listen too. Just scroll down to the bottom to listen to the example WAV files.

I wish I could find a Perl module to auto dial these number and leave supper long messages with an electornic voice.

I've actually writen a perl program that does something along the same lines. Instead of Email Spam though it deals with Telemarketer spam. It uses CallerID to determine which calls to answer, plays a series pre-recorded wave files, and uses silence detection to carry on a virtual conversation with the telemarketer. Best of all, it records the entire conversation. I haven't had a telemarketer yet that figured out they were talking to a computer. I call it the Telecrapper for lack of a more Madison Avenue name. A description and some example conversations are available at www.pagerealm.com/tc2k. Scroll down to listen to the examples, they are VERY FUNNY.

oil is from compressed carbon compounds (dinosaurs, etc.)

Thomas Gold

U.S.G.S. Professional Paper 1570, The Future of Energy Gases, 1993

Modern information re-directs attention to the theories of a non-biological, primeval origin. Among this information is the prominence of hydrocarbons-gases, liquids and solids-on many other bodies of the solar system, as well as in interstellar space. Advances in high-pressure thermodynamics have shown that the pressure-temperature regime of the Earth would allow hydrocarbon molecules to be formed and to survive between the surface and a depth of 100 to 300 km. Outgassing from such depth would bring up other gases present in trace amounts in the rocks, thus accounting for the well known association of hydrocarbons with helium. Recent discoveries of the widespread presence of bacterial life at depth point to this as the origin of the biological content of petroleum.