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Fleeing Jurassic Park III
We are deep into the summer doldrums, and to what is shaping up as a sub-par movie summer. Score (Robert DeNiro, Edward Norton, Marlon Brando) is a stylish, genial, high-end crime saga, one of those old-style movies in which the good guys are classy, harm no one, have high ethical standards, and have the neatest tools in the world. The movie is a bit flat and predictable. There is the by-now standard deranged computer hacker who screams at his mom while stuffing junk food into his mouth and hacking into the most sophisticated computer systems in the world in nano-seconds to find out anything anybody wants to know. DeNiro plays an aging burglar who is depressed about having to do one more big score so he can get out of the game and shack up with Angela Bassett. But in this movie, DeNiro is a little too depressed. Norton, a young wannabe, takes him on. Norton does a great job of playing a pseudo-psychotic who keeps you guessing right up to the end precisely what he is capable of. The movie is worth seeing, if only to see these good actors, atmospheric scenes of Montreal, and an aging Brando do one or two neat scenes that suggest the great actor still has it.
Legally Blonde (Reese Witherspoon) suggests another dumb teen movie, but manages to transcend the genre. Witherspoon plays a seemingly brainless but good-hearted Malibu-Barbie type who applies to Harvard Law School to pursue her snotty boyfriend (who dumps her once he's admitted because he needs someone more serious) and who, in the name of diversity, gets admitted. The twist is that this airhead is a sympathetic victim, turned on by snotty peers, jeering classmates, and insulting professors. You know the plot without seeing the movie, but one interesting thing about this film, which goes against expectations, is the way Witherspoon's (who was great in Clueless) character [note: Actually, that was Alicia Silverstone, but who can tell? -T] hangs on to her odd values. If movies are a barometer of anything, this one may be telling us it's okay to obsess on manicures and how you look again. There are, of course, all of the familiar cliches about elitist kids and Harvard. Hollywood needs some new targets. But still, this is the most enjoyable movie I saw all week, which says something.
America's Sweethearts is the summer's most ballyhooed romantic comedy. This should have been a knockout movie. It has a great cast -- Billy Crystal, John Cusack, Julia Roberts, Stanley Tucci, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Christopher Walken, and a great target to feast on -- Hollywood hype, studio culture, and press junkets. Who better than Billy Crystal to write and star in this kind of a movie?
But America's Sweethearts is a shockingly awful movie. The truth is, when push comes to shove, any film is often simply about the writing, something that did in Final Fantasy, and the writing in this one is just terrible. The movie is crammed with slapstick gags that aren't funny, a plethora of masturbation and penis jokes (the Farrelly Brothers do this a lot better), and just crummy dialogue. It's a major disappointment, given the talent involved, maybe one of the biggest of the summer. This movie has about five laughs in its nearly two long and arduous hours.
Personally, the movie I've been waiting for all summer is coming out next week -- the re-make of Planet Of The Apes. According to the movie mags, they were re-shooting the end of this movie as recently as last week, a bad sign. But there's always hope, even this summer.
Wasn't that Alicia Silverstone that was in Clueless, not Witherspoon? She was in Election and Pleasantville. Both fine movies.
Haven't you figured it out? I mean, after reading Jon Katz's articles for so long, I've come to one, undeniable conclusion.
Jon Katz doesn't watch movies.
That's right. I'm almost certain he writes his reviews based on the trailers. "Hey, that Witherspoon chick looks kinda familiar. Wasn't she in......CLUELESS! Yes! I'll put that in my review! And of course, I know the plot before I see the movie; that qualifies me totally, 100% to write an objective, unbiased, informative review."
One the off chance that he actually makes it into a movie theater, he's mumbling "What a goddamned shitty movie" to himself as he is paying for his popcorn.
When he sits down and the film reel starts, he reviews the movies in the pre-feature trailers - each one of them being a horrible muddle of teen-insulting drama permeated by violence and shallow characters. Including That-New-Disney-Flick(tm).
Gene Siskel would be proud. *cough*
Reese Witherspoon wasn't in Clueless. Alicia Silverstone played the blonde stereotype lead character in that one. Witherspoon's characters in various films have been compared to Alicia Silverstone's Clueless character, which may explain the confusion.
I beleive that was ripped from a Simpson's episode. Very funny, but you should have given some credit.
Of course, he DID say it was courtesy the Simpsons.
That Ape musical is one of the richest bits of parody the Simpsons has ever produced, and it's one I point to when I want to illustrate that the Simpsons isn't just comedy - it's social commentary.
--Jim
Well, that's because you didn't see Ghost World. Anyone coulda told you that all the movies you reviewed would suck, except for The Score. I was disappointed to see that every single review of it has trashed it, because De Niro and Brando are two of the best living American actors. But even though I sometimes disagree with reviewers, it's rare that I disagree with everyone. So I'll skip it. But as for the others, it was pretty obvious they were going to be shallow, by looking at the trailers, who was in them, and what they were about. What was he last "romantic comedy" that had any redeeming value? Probably Chasing Amy, and that one doesn't even count. And Legally Blonde is such a tip-off summer-movie lame-pun name that you didn't even need to see the retarded trailer to know it would be terrible. Ghost World, though, was a subtle movie that actually contained (gasp!) beauty, and perceptive observations, and acting, and all that stuff! Plus, Steve Buscemi is my hero.
You may have noticed that I haven't given a lot of evidence for my opinions. Well, tough. I'm too lazy.
Switch the . and the @ to email me.
The JP 3 director knew what he was doing. There were no slowdowns, few plot holes, no wasted time--it was nice and tight at 90 minutes. There were a hell of a lot fewer annoying characters in it than the first JP; the kid (played by one of the child actors from The Sixth Sense, by the way!) was actually a decent character and not someone you kept wishing would get eaten by a dinosaur, and there was no annoying lawyer or Jeff Goldblum either. Sam Neill, always a fantastic actor, did a great job of playing this grown up boy who never quite lost his sense of wonder, even when he tried to hide it under a callous exterior; William Atherton and Tea Leoni were also quite good and very believable as the divorced couple who are brought back together by the the island. There were some cute in-jokes and references back to the first film, too.
I never saw the Goldblum sequel because, hey, I didn't really like Goldblum's character. And from what I've heard, I didn't miss much. But this--this was a sequel worth seeing.
--
Editor Emeritus and Senior Writer, TeleRead.org
Not all movies. I'm sure there are some good ones out right now, as there have always been bad ones over the years. The problem is, while sitting through a bad movie, I can usually pick up (during the 20 minutes of previews) a few good candidates for GOOD movies.
:). There was not ONE preview that screamed at me "You have to see this!" Thats what previews are for anyways, to take the only good 1 minute worth of footage from a movie and make it out to be the best movie ever produced in the history of movie making. If the content of the movies is so bad they can't even pull THAT off, I've come to realize there might be an actual REASON I haven't been to a theatre more than 3 times since Phantom Meanace was released.
I was dragged to see America's Sweethearts last night (I had a couple female companions..... what was I to do? say NO!?!?
So what's the deal? Do movies suck more now than they used to, or am I just changing and finding that movies tend to pander to the less neurologically active audience?
-Restil
Play with my webcams and lights here
We saw JP3 last night and liked it. It's exactly what they tell you it is...people running from cool looking dinosaurs. It isn't going to win a lot of awards (maybe special effects), but it's a great summer movie to see.
Movie reviews on this site have become totally useless. Unless the movie is about some population of people being repressed for being different and can be compared to Columbine Katz doesn't like it. Hey John, pretend the people on the island are being persecuted for being different and the dinosaurs are the "jocks" and then maybe you'll like it!
I'll be the first to admit that I am disappointed by many movies, but minutes? This movie could have kicked ass, but you'll never know if you left "minutes" into it.
Carpe Deez
Does anyone else here watch "The Critic" on USA? I keep thinking "John Katz: I't stinks!" :)
(No, in fact I have NO useful comment, aside from this attempt at humor, why?)
Have a nice day, guys!
--- For a good time mail uce@ftc.gov
No kidding! What the hell was that?? "Gee, I went to see Jurassic Park III, but much to my surprise when the movie started, those losers actually made it about DINOSAURS again, so I left without even giving it a fair chance."
For some real reviews of Jurassic Park III check out Rotten Tomatoes (No I am not affiliated with them) The reviews are about half positive, half negative.
"Mind, as manifested by the capacity to make choices, is to some extent present in every electron." -Freeman Dyson
Anybody dumb enough to get on that island again deserves what he gets
And anybody dumb enough to go see that movie deserves what he gets...
Honestly, didn't you know what to expect when you went to see it? I did, I knew exactly what I was gonna get, and that's what I got. No more No less. But at least I'm not complaining...
There are two kinds of people in the world: Those with good memory.
Remember, the character in the book is totally different. I read an article (part of a larger book about Hollywood vs. history) by Stephen Jay Gould that described this quite nicely: basically, Crichton's Ian Malcolm is ranting about how the park system is too complex, how the science and technology involved is beyond current understanding- thus it's inevitable that something will fail, because "shit happens."
In the movie, however, it's "life will find a way", the usual Hollywood BS about the limitations of human endeavor, arrogant scientists destroying us all, etc. The point is _totally_ changed into something Joe Sixpack and the scriptwriters can understand. There's a world of difference between these worldviews, which most people miss- it's the single largest difference between the book and the movie.
By the way, you should watch "Silverado", a mid-80s western (along with "Unforgiven", one of the few great movies in the genre to come out in the last 20 years). It's got a superb cast (Kevin Kline, Danny Glover, Scott Glenn, Kevin Costner, Brian Dennehy, etc.), and Jeff Goldblum plays a very oily bad guy. Much different.
-Nat
Tell me what makes you so afraid
Of all those people you say you hate
Bolited? Hmmm, the closest word to this that I could find was:
Heh. Image comes to mind of a new MPAA video content protection scheme: critics who don't like a film are caused to explode, thus acting as a warning to others... would YOU want to copy a film that might make you blow up, to? :)
The TV trailer says "Different island, different monsters..." and should end my saying "same film".
Ho hum for the life of a bear
Snippets follow, curtesy of the simpsons. The broadway show has now been in preparation for I don't know how many years! I can't wait for it to come out!
"Dr. Zaius"
Ape: Help, the human's about to escape.
Troy: Get your paws off me, you dirty ape.
Ape: [gasping] He can talk!
Apes: [in unison, rythmed] He can talk
He can talk
He can talk
He can talk
He can talk
He can talk
Troy: [singing] I can siiiiiing!
[funky beat of "Rock Me Amadeus" starts playing]
Female Nurse Ape: Ooh, help me Dr. Zaius!
Apes: [in unison] Dr. Zaius, Dr. Zaius
Dr. Zaius, Dr. Zaius
Dr. Zaius, Dr. Zaius
Oh... Dr. Zaius
Ape: Dr. Zaius, Dr. Zaius.
Troy: What's wrong with me?
Zaius: I think you're crazy.
Troy: Want a second opinion.
Zaius: You're also lazy.
Apes: [in unison] Dr. Zaius, Dr. Zaius
Dr. Zaius, Dr. Zaius
Dr. Zaius, Dr. Zaius
[one ape starts breakdancing]
Oh... Dr. Zaius
Ape: Dr. Zaius, Dr. Zaius.
Troy: Can I play the piano anymore?
Zaius: Of course you can.
Troy: Well I couldn't before!
[plays piano]
"You'll Never Make a Monkey Out of Me"Troy: [singing] I hate every ape I see
From chimpan-a to chimpan-zee
No, you'll never make a monkey out of me
Oh my God, I was wrong
It was Earth all along
You've finally made a monkey
Apes: Yes, we've finally made a monkey
Troy: Yes, you've finally made a monkey out of me
Apes: Yes, we've finally made a monkey out of you
Troy: I love you, Dr. Zaius!
~
I have to agree with that statement. Although the original Planet of the Apes seemed to be sort of a B-movie it contrasted highly with the points in the film (Humans cannot talk, etc) and the acting of Heston making it seem more than a B-movie. I only say that because it seems like Heston had graduated from making epic movies (Ben-Hur and Ten Commandments) to cult movies (though a lot smaller budget) like Omega Man, POTA, and Soylent Green. Even though the sci-fi films he made in the latter part of his career may not have had the production values of other of his films the acting that he did in those films was nonetheless usually on mark as in the statue of liberty scene at the end of Planet...you can truly sense his disgust and rage with humanity.
I did read the novel by Pierre Boulle back in the 8th? grade and thought it was very good but in a different way than the movie.
I hold hope for this new interpretation of Planet though because I love Burton's movies (Batman, Sleepy Hollow, Edward Scissorhands) but it's always tricky when you do remakes....especially of classics (or cult classics).
"sweet dreams are made of this..."
So I bolited, skipped illegally across the hallways of the megaplex to write a weekly wrap-up instead.
"Bolted" is spelled wrong. "Illegally" is misplaced. There should probably be an "and" after the comma.
What can you say about a week in which the most entertaining movie was Legally Blonde? Hang on for Planet of the Apes next Friday.
Well, you seemed to say quite a bit. If you were serious the article would have ended there. What can you say about a review that confirms its futility in the first paragraph?
We are deep into the summer doldrums, and to what is shaping up as a sub-par movie summer.
This sentence doesn't read well. Say it out loud. The phrase "sub-par movie summer" should not be used by a professional writer.
Score (Robert DeNiro, Edward Norton, Marlon Brando) is a stylish, genial, high-end crime saga, one of those old-style movies in which the good guys are classy, harm no one, have high ethical standards, and have the neatest tools in the world. The movie is a bit flat and predictable.
One sentence, three lists, eight commas. Following that ornate creation, we have the choppiest sentence in the article. Interesting juxtaposition.
The movie is worth seeing, if only to see these good actors, atmospheric scenes of Montreal, and an aging Brando do one or two neat scenes that suggest the great actor still has it.
"Seeing" or "see", one of them has to go. Professional writers generally don't use the adjective "neat", unless they mean "tidy."
Witherspoon plays a seemingly brainless but good-hearted Malibu-Barbie type who applies to Harvard Law School to pursue her snotty boyfriend (who dumps her once he's admitted because he needs someone more serious) and who, in the name of diversity, gets admitted.
Whoa.
But still, this is the most enjoyable movie I saw all week, which says something.
But we know not what.
The truth is, when push comes to shove, any film is often simply about the writing, something that did in Final Fantasy, and the writing in this one is just terrible.
Again, whoa. On of the first two prepositional phrases has to go. The rest of the sentence is terrible and should be srapped. Bad use of pronouns, undescriptive adjectives, and questionable sentence structure.
I hope I wasn't too hard on you. Your sentence structure would improve a great deal if you chose more appropriate adjectives.
Art At Home
Funny - I don't recall him saying that about any of the 3 movies he reviewed above. In fact I thought he gave well thought out commentary on the movies (even if he got his blondes confused) Face it - JP3 does suck. But he bailed on a crappy movie to see three others, two of which he generally seemed to like and didn't use the word suck anywhere in the review. So is it Jon that's biased against movies or you who are biased against Jon?
IMHO I'm glad he reviewed these movies instead of JP3 cuase everyone knew it was gonna suck anyway :)
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How are we supposed to attack the presiding notion of Free Software and Peer to Peer as being havens for social agitators and communists if we've got movie swiping criminals like Katz speaking for us?
Way to set back the movement, JK. Couldn't you just have accepted the lame dinosaurs and toughed it out???
Hey freaks: now you're ju
"it was a dark and stormy night"
This movie has us believe that raptors aren't just intelligent, they're super intelligent - smarter than primates...even smarter than Sam Neill! (Definitely smarter than the screenwriters.) Weren't they just "clever" in the first movie? Now they all gather and confer before killing someone. At this rate, by JP4 they'll all be using Debian Linux, wearing monocles and twirling mustaches: "Well, Dr. Grant, we meet again. You shan't escape me a third time!"
Fifteen seconds? Twenty?
I've worked in publishing. People get fired every day for making mistakes less than this.
It is just shoddy.
"Enough of this wretched, whining monkey life." -- Marcus Aurelius, _Meditations_, Book 9, 37