Eliza for Spam

Saint Aardvark the Carpeted writes "Check this out for sheer genius...This guy has posted to Perl Monks a script that uses the Perl Eliza module to respond to spam. Check it and contribute your suggestions for improved vocabulary." The downside of course is that spammers never set their reply correctly (which I think is forgery, and should be treated as such) so this is probably more academic then useful, but its definitely funny.

Comments

Interesting conversation

[Arjuna Theban]

Cats: Eliza. All your base are belong to us.
Eliza: Does using that kind of language make you feel better ?

---

Why do you want to Make Money Fast?

[Apuleius]

'nuff said.

Eliza for tech support

[FozzTexx]

At a company I worked at a few years ago, there was one particular customer who liked to bug tech support just to have someone to talk to. He'd ask the most inane questions, then when he got the answer, he'd generally say "Why would I want to do that?" in reference to what he was asking us how to do in the first place!

It got old and so we set up a psuedo tech support person and had that person handle all his tech support. We would send his email through Eliza (the one in emacs) and then take Eliza's responses and send it back to him. This seemed to keep him satisfied, and kept our tech support from getting aggravated by him.

Re:Faked FROM fields.

[nomadic]

What we NEED instead of more stupid laws (we have enough idiotic ideas about computer "crime" in law enforcement already, Taco) is legal recourse for the recipient

Giving a legal recourse for the recipient would require a law you know.

Re:cool :)

[reverius]

Tell me about your mother...

But seriously. If your Samba isn't working right, then you do have a problem... how are you supposed to attract the opposite sex without the proper tools?

UUCP and FTP may be attractive, but lets face it. The girls want Samba, and lots of it. And what can you do about that?

Introducing Siagra, the one and only fix for all of your Samba problems.

Can't get your Samba up to do its thing? Siagra can help. 40% of men over 50 can't get their Samba to work. But Siagra is a new revolutionary herbal extract. It's not a drug. It will work wonders. It can do what you never thought possible!

How timely..

[LinuxHam]

I just downloaded an AliceBot to run on my laptop yesterday, first to see if I can get it to talk XML RPC or SOAP to my home automation server running Misterhouse, and second to see if I could turn it into a level 1 tech support agent for the TOTALLY inane questions that cripple the daily operations of my client's help desk.

First thing I have to do is whittle down AliceBot's knowledge base from over 27,000 categories to just a few. First, how to get the weather report. Next, how to read Slashdot, and finally, the rest of home automation.

SirCam and Eliza

[UnclePaeng]

SirCam: Hi! How are you? Eliza: Why are you interested in whether or not I am ? SirCam: I send you this file in order to have your advice. Eliza: You're not really talking about me, are you? SirCam: See you later. Thanks Eliza: Oh... later. Thanks?

Re:cool :)

[jchristopher]

How does that make you feel that you have a problem with Samba 2.02?

Re:Or, to speak their language:

[Anonymous Coward]

Oh how I despise marketspeak buzzwords.

But, the sad reality is that truth doesn't sell and bullshit does. Stupid sheeple.

Chat bot in Action. :)

[BrookHarty]

Had to try it out. Heres the results from a typical spam...

[headers snipped]
Subject: Re: .BIZ .INFO Domains activation dates

Thank you for your mail! I am new to here, and
+do not have good english -- forgive :)>Dear Domain Registrant,

Hi, how are you?

>The dateline for .BIZ domains has been announced - Sept 17, 2001 is
>the last date for early-birds to pre-register their .BIZ domains.
>For .INFO domains, Sept 12, 2001 is scheduled to be the start-up date,
>where all pre-registrations made earlier will be processed.

What answer would please you most?

>We are now accepting pre-registrations for the new top level domains with
>extensions .BIZ, .INFO, .PRO, and .NAME. It is expected that over 3 million
>of
>these new domain names will be registered in the first few minutes when
>registration opens later this year. This will be the largest virtual real
>estate land grab in the history of the Internet.

I've told you before, I don't care about names -- please c

>According to the ZDNet July 2nd news article, industry experts have
>"estimated that 15 million dot-biz names will be registered by 2005".

I'm not sure I understand you fully.

>If you are looking for a great name like Cars.biz or Stocks.info, be
>prepared to face some stiff competition unless you pre-register early.
>http://www.NewExtensionsNow.com has built the premier pre-registration
>engine
>that can help you to secure the domain you want. Over 500,000 names have
>already been queued into our list and good names are going fast. If your
>domain name is important to you, do not wait until the last minute. Go to
>http://www.NewExtensionsNow.com to pre-register now.

I am not interested in names.

>If you have received this mailing in error, or do not wish
>to receive any further mailings from us, simply click here:

I would like to visit your site, but my mouse is broken

>http://www.newextensionsnow.com/cgi-bin/remove. cgi ?email=[snip]

That is interesting. Please continue.

@blibs.com

[slashkitty]

Haha. Well, I have been using a bunch of robot responders for email. You can reach alice@blibs.com, eliza@blibs.com and even mrt@blibs.com .. Alice and Mr. T will remember stuff about you and you can almost carry on a conversation with them. have fun.

hehe... now this has possibilities...

[GC]

Hi, How are you?

I send you this file in order to have your advice

See you later. Thanks

cool :)

[XRayX]

Oh cool. Maybe Eliza can answer the tons of Linux Questions my LUG E-Mail List delivers to me daily:
Question: "Hey Eliza! I have aproblem with Samba 2.0.2"
Eliza: "Tell me about your problem!"
Question: "The Win 9x clients can't get acces to my Samba File-Server."
Eliza: "That's a pitty. Your Win 9x clients can't get acces to your Samba File-Server..."
...
X

Or, to speak their language:

[blang]

Thank you for your interesting product offer.

I would like to order one copy of your interesting home business opportunity package, 3 tubes of thigh cream, your revolutionary mass-mailing program, my preapproved credit card, and credit repair package. And if there are any left, given that the offer was a last chance offer, 4 of your revolutionary wireless web cameras.

Attached is my credit card information. Click to open. ccinfo.doc