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Jedi Knight Now (Not) Officially a Religion
osiris writes: "The Register is reporting that being a Jedi Knight is now an official religion in the UK after the 2001 census conducted earlier this year. The final number of 'Jedi Knights' has not been confirmed yet as only about 95% of the census forms have been returned. As you could probably imagine, the Home Office is none too pleased. Apparently though, you can't get fined for lying about your religion in the census." Actually, according to the story, this gives the Jedi way no more official status than Plumbing would have if everyone put that down.
So when are the lightsabers coming out?
None of the people who check it are actually Jedi, whether they say they are or not :(. I don't remember the last time I saw anyone build a real working lightsaber....
What, me worry?
Does this "religion" at all involve paying for the same "holy text" over and over again, in varying "special release" formats?
Darth Vader, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name...
A feeling of having made the same mistake before: Deja Foobar
Is our bible written as such: "Saul begot Jim... yes... mmmm-hmm.... Help him he could... yes..."
Thinking along the lines of the Rastafarians who (in some places) have gained the ability to smoke pot legally as a 'religious sacrament'....
/dev/random, and concealed in the Mysteries of the Digits of PI.
How about forming a new religion, dedicated to interpreting the holy scripture as given by the Great Kernel to humankind through
Amongst the religious edicts would be:
1) Any and all binary data may contain manifestations of the Lord Kernel. Therefore, followers are instructed to decode any and all binary data they get their hands on, and apply technical skills to defeat all encryption inherent in such data/code (including copy-protection barriers).
2) All followers must celebrate the Lord Kernel's holy abundance by freely sharing any data and code which they feel personally moved to make available.
3) The Lord Kernel's abundance takes precedence over any human notions of intellectual property
4) Members of the Church of the Great Kernel may transform their data in any way before transmission to other Members.
This way, the DMCA, SSSCA, ATA etc can be ruled unconstitutional as they interfere with religious practice.
-- In the beginning was the WORD, and the WORD was UNSIGNED, and the main(){} was without form and void...
I guess after the very sexy 70's those in the UK needed a reason to stop getting laid...
The Jedi religion does in fact have many stated ideas that aren't too far from "real" religions, so who is to say that one can not actually proclaim themselves Jedi followers?
The question is a whole lot like asking "Is Discordianism Real?"
Any Discordian will tell you with absolute uncertainty that it probably isn't unreal. But just because the Discordian religion probably appeared first in a fictional novel doesn't mean that the beliefs are not valid, even if a bit loony.
I say if someone wants to be a Jedi, so be it. They have every bit as much a right to create miracles as any Christian, Jew, or Muslim. In fact, they're probably just as good at it!
Hail Eris! fnord
"Everything you know is wrong. (And stupid.)"
Moderation Totals: Wrong=2, Stupid=3, Total=5.
I wonder how many clever people put down Sith instead, and if the ppl at the home office understood it (or just ticked the seikh box).
Does that mean we can buy the Sacred Action Figures tax-free now?
Sheesh, evil *and* a jerk. -- Jade
... the Immaculate Misconception: Believing that Jar-Jar Binks was a good idea. Ever.
"It was a summer's tale: Just a boy, his Linux, and a head full of dreams..."
No, that would be Scientology.
-----
Free P2P Backup, Windows & Linux
I believe a friend of mine said it best when he called himself an 'apatheist'. ; )
"We obviously need a new moderation category: (-1, Woo-fucking-hoo)" --Mr. AC
An offical religion. Now we can see different churches of Lucas start popping up all over the UK. Imperial Church of Lucas, Rebel Church of Lucas, and a mercenary Church of Lucas etc.
I could see it now...George's body is created out of stone and displayed infront of the large church in shape of the imperial palace. The church bells sing the opening sequence to the movies at each mass. The large wooden church doors have the Lucasarts logo set in stone, inside the church is a large hall filled with flags fitting for the type of Church Lucas, people dressed up as the crimson guard protect the doors and keep order. Each chair holds a Holy book of Lucas praising Star Wars, and answers to Star Wars questions. After each mass a CCG and Star Wars convention breaks out allowing eachother to trade and share Holy Lucas items with one another.
Schedule for Church of Lucas:
Mondays: 12pm-12am Episode I-II-III worship.
Tuesdays: 5pm-10pm Episode IV worship.
Wednesdays:10am-3pm Episode V worship
Thursdays: 2pm-7pm Episode VI worship.
Fridays: 7pm-12am Lucas Worship, Star Wars Paintbattles (re-enacting the battles)
Saturdays: 8am-1pm Lucas Trivia, and book discussion.
Sundays: 6am-8am, 8:15am-10:15am, 10:30am-12:30pm Holy Lord of Lucas (Mace Windu type) delievers mass to it's worshippers.
Each church has several rooms dedicated to:
1.Playing the Star Wars Games (Jedi Knight, X-wing vs. Tie fighter, Rebellion, Star Wars Galaxies, and Galactic Battlegrounds)with state of the art Computer machines along with a T3 bandwith line with multiple redunancies with large internet providers in the UK. To guarntee you the follower isn't interrupted in your practices.
2.Mos Eisley look alike cantina for relaxation.
3.Dueling room to practice those lightsaber skills, and grow your knowledge with the force.
4. Hotel skyrise for followers to remain on the grounds of the Church.
Oh yes..I could see this as a possibility of becoming reality now that the UK Recognizes Jedi Knights as a religion.
Dyslexic, Agnostic Insomniac: Lies awake at night wondering if there is a Dog.
I/O Error G-17: Aborting Installation
Calvin: Why do you suppose we're here?
Hobbes: Because we walked here.
Calvin: No, no, I mean here on Earth.
Hobbes: Because Earth can support life.
Calvin: No, I mean why are we anywhere? Why do we exist?
Hobbes: Because we were born.
Calvin (angry): Forget it.
Hobbes (angry): I will, thank you.
When a Jedi comes knocking door at my at 11AM to give me a pamphlet and ask me if I've ever used the force, I think I'm going to take them a lot more seriously. That lightsaber really stings!
Luke, I am your Father who art in Dagobah,
Obi-Wan be thy name,
thy Rebel Alliance come,
thy Force be done,
on Endor, as it is on Hoth,
give us this Pod Race,
our Jedi Temple,
and forgive us for forgetting about the Sith,
as we forgive those,
who let the batteries die in their lightsabers
and lead us not into the Empire,
but deliver us from Darth Vader.
Amen... hmmm... Strong is the force in this one... yes...
;-P
intellectual property law is philosophically incoherent. it is your moral duty to ignore it or sabotage it
I put down Jedi because I did care. I thought the question irrelevant and impertinent.
I very, very, nearly wrote in Frisbeetarian.
Paul
Lasciate ogne speranza, voi ch'intrate
This could be the start of something else terrible...
From a followup article about a month later in the same magazine:
"Neither have the Obi-wan Kenobi wannabes thought through the possible
downsides to their plan. What happens if 10,000 Darth Vaders declare themselves
for the 'Dark Side'? Would it be possible for the two churches to live together in
harmony? No chance. It's only a matter of time before some unrepentent Luke
Skywalker ends up tied to a stake on the village green with Darth Maul lighting a
bunch of faggots under him."
Please, use the force carefully regardless of your luminescent or sexual preference.
Census Officer: What's all this then? You've put down bleedin' "Jedi Knight" as religion, you bloody well can't do that. I could give you a whopping big fine for that. Let's see some flippin' identification, mate, or it's off to clink for you faster than you can say "Bob's your uncle."
Jedi: You don't need to see my identification.
Officer: I don't need to see your identification.
Jedi: You can't fine me for anything.
Officer: I can't fine you for anything.
Jedi: I can go about my business.
Officer: You can go about your business.
Jedi: Move along.
Officer: Move along. Move along now.
AC's cheerfully ignored
045 Cooneyite - Eh? This is a new one on me.
060 Four Square Gospel - We believe that the path to salvation rests in eating properly.
082 Non-Subscribing Presbyterian - We believe in the same things other Presbyterians beleive in, but we don't find their ideas intriguing enough to subscribe to their newsletter.
094 Religious Society of Friends - I know it says "Quaker" in parentheses after it, but you have to admit: this sounds like a nice religion.
310 Chinese Religions - There's only over a billion Chinese people, but let's just lump all their religions together.
317 Free Thinker - This is one of those labels that, when people apply it to themselves, the exact opposite is true (cf. "open-minded").
347 Church of All Religion - We don't discriminate.
351 Realist - Okay, that one's just funny.
352 Free Church of Love - Formerly known as the Church of Free Love.
897 Heathen - Well, at least we can admit it.
My apologies to any people I may have offended.
Of course, once you've put your religion down as Jedi, all other questions can be answered with:
"This is not the information you are looking for"
No eyewitness accounts? I see him at the mall every year, as do millions of others.