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Senate Trashes Civil Liberties; House to Vote Today
The U.S. Senate passed its version of the "anti-terrorism" legislation last night. The Washington Post, CNN, and Wired all have stories. There are terrorists under every rock, and we must destroy our freedom in order to save it. Remember: gamblers are terrorists too. The House is apparently going to drop their version of the legislation and vote on a copy of the Senate bill.
Don't be so upset. I'm sure your email was read (or at least scanned) by your friendly neighborhood FBI/CIA/NSA/whoever agent!
At least someone cares.
load "linux",8,1
Come on! It's called the "USA Act"* -- you'd have to be some kind of pinko commie terrorist bastard to vote against it, wouldn't you?!
* Yes really -- it's the "Uniting and Strengthening America Act."
Ita erat quando hic adveni.
We are at war with terrorism. We have always been at war with terrorism. Boot lace supplies are up 3.5% this year.
It's 10 PM. Do you know if you're un-American?
Even after all these warning, people keep openning suspicious mail with attachments.
Plus, people often have virus scanners, but nobody has a bacterium scanner...
No no no.
Your friendly neighborhood FBI/CIA/NSA/whoever agent is a very busy person, and can't read *all* email that comes his/her way.
Instead, your email was scanned by your friendly neighborhood FBI/CIA/NSA/whoever agent's 18-year old INTERN.
"Can of worms? The can is open... the worms are everywhere."
Damn, that is hilarious. Sad and subtle, and deeply cynical, but f-ing funny, just the same.
Let's see if I can succesfully add to it:
Bin Laden is good, he is fighting the Russians, he is against communi... (get's handed note)... Bin Laden is evil, he has always been evil.
Ummm, the first name? Just kidding couldn't resist.
I'm the big fish in the big pond bitch.
Chapman: *I* don't know - Mr Wentworth just told me to come in here and say that there was trouble at the mill, that's all - I didn't expect a kind of Spanish Inquisition.
(JARRING CHORD)
(The door flies open and Cardinal Ximinez of Spain (Palin) enters, flanked by two junior cardinals. Cardinal Biggles (Jones) has goggles pushed over his forehead. Cardinal Fang (Gilliam) is just Cardinal Fang)
Ximinez: NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition! Our chief weapon is surprise...surprise and fear...fear and surprise.... Our two weapons are fear and surprise...and ruthless efficiency.... Our *three* weapons are fear, surprise, and ruthless efficiency...and an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope.... Our *four*...no... *Amongst* our weapons.... Amongst our weaponry...are such elements as fear, surprise.... I'll come in again. (Exit and exeunt)
Chapman: I didn't expect a kind of Spanish Inquisition.
(JARRING CHORD)
(The cardinals burst in)
Ximinez: NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition! Amongst our weaponry are such diverse elements as: fear, surprise, ruthless efficiency, an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope, and nice red uniforms - Oh damn! (To Cardinal Biggles) I can't say it - you'll have to say it.
Jews, Blacks, now its "noncitizens"... does sound more PC than "rag-head" I suppose.
A real democracy, without the republican part, could be done now, because of technology.
:)
Sure, it *could* be done now, but it would take so much of everyone's time that the country would come to a standstill. But then you say that only the people who cared enough would vote--they coudn't have actual jobs. Maybe we'd give them compensation so they wouldn't need jobs and could spend all day reading proposed bills. But how to figure out who to actually pay--maybe we could elect them?
Oh, wait...
Where are we going and why am I in this handbasket?
I agree.
:)
:)
So what's the solution? Should we geeks go form a new country?
Perhaps we could hack a small but relatively IT-savvy country, throw it in dissarray (like every citizen gets a $10000 tax bill), then come in as saviours and take over. We could institute a mod system for the representatives
I'm thinking Iceland..
Yan
I think this line's only filler
This legislation will result in demand for individuals skilled in the acts of message interception exceeding local supply. As a category of highly skilled worker, I suggest we do what has been done for other high-tech unfilled jobs: fill them with temporary visa (H1B) holders. Think of all the people abroad with stellar qualification we could hire - Former KGB, Stasi, etc. employees. This could be a real economic boon for the former Soviet Union.
shut your pie holes and go enlist in the US military. Soon to be manditory for citizenship anyway. You will learn to use a weapon, which could come in handy after we have defeated the Islamic masses and want to become a democracy again.
The ends this test of the emergency trolling system. Had this been an actual troll, it would have contained references to Nazism, profanity, and or the word "WH00T!"
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No no no, you must not RTFL. It's far better to just read the inflamatory Slashdot title and ASSUME that the feds are now allowed to anal probe you any time they feel like it.
from Oct 1, 2001
You mean that used to be legal?!
About a week later, I got a very sincere-sounding form letter response. I can only assume my ticket got marked RESOLVED_WONTFIX
Next time include a little bit of talcum powder in the envelope, you'll be sure to hear back from the government.
I see even classic Slashdot is now pretty much unusable on dial up anymore.