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You May Not Link This Web Site
Ganon34 sent us a funny story about a company requiring permission to link their website. The company in question is KPMG, a financial and legal advisory company, and the article itself is an entertaining read about the aftermath of them sending demands that someone remove a link to their public web site. It's a pretty funny piece -- especially the part about KPMG's theme song. Also references the old ticketmaster vs ticet.com case that held up deep linking. It's all funny 'cuz its true.
Their page could also use some testing since it doesn't render in my browser.
Oops I did it again!
Damnit!
Okay... so here's what I don't get... the company's policy clearly says "KPMG is obligated to protect its reputation and trademarks and KPMG reserves the right to request removal of any link to our website."
So what do they think? EVERYONE that they request to remove a link is going too. If they want to try to use this stupid policy to "enforce" something (what, I'm still not quite sure) then at least word it properly. In the form of "we request the right to force you to remove a link to our site." Not that either policy actually means anything.
I reserve the right to request you to remove any silver type jewerly while visitng my website.
If my boss gave me the choice between singing that song and sodomizing myself with a baseball bat dipped in a paste of ground glass and 5-minute epoxy, I'd ask him for a map to the nearest Home Depot.
if they have written agreements with Google, Altavista, and the other search engines. If not, perhaps their name should be removed from the engine.
Same with the phone books...
"Make it ten--I am only a poor corrupt official."
--Captain Louis Renault (Claude Rains), Casablanca
Errr... you seem to have hit upon an interesting conumdrum - is this like limiting freedom of the press or limiting free speech? I'm not sure if the two are actually separate or inexorably linked, but there is a difference.
When you publish a web page, should you be able to say that you are a member of the "Press" and afforded the same privileges, or do you get just plain old free speech rights (such as they are)?
Probrably not an earth shaking issue, but it may make any legal arguments interesting...
Soko
"Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm." - Anonymous
Jesus...KPMG has really won haven't they. With one stupid letter they managed to get more free advertising and even active links than X10 has purchased during its entire lifetime. Given the way modern search enginges work this probably boosts it up to the top of the heap in search results as well.
If you liked this thought maybe you would find my blog nice too:
KPMG Morale and Puffery Manager - Alright, guys, that sounds really positive and great, we'll send you the check in the mail.
...
...
...
(leaves, whistling that godawful song)
Producer - Man, I'm glad that's over.
Studio musicians - Yeah, man. Dig it. Lame gig.
Studio owner - I've been listening to these backwards
Producer - Well, I
Studio owner - You've got Price Waterhouse's human resources department's number backward masked on the first verse. I hope they don't find out
Producer - I couldn't resist. Hours and hours of listening to that damn song! I'm only human, damn it!
Most people haven't heard of firms like this because it does them no good to market to the average consumer since their services are of no interest to them. Large corporations pay them millions however, and you can pretty much bet that just about every Fortune 500 firm is one of their clients. A mid-level consultant in one of these firms bills out at about $300-$400 per hour. They make huge sums of money and wield tremendous power in corporate America.
-Vercingetorix
"Necessitas non habet legem." -St. Augustine
So its their policy, so what? It's not a contract, what binds anyone to abide by it? They can't do anything about it if he links to them, not to mention the free speech implications. This was just a lame attempt to shut off some bad press and ironically they're getting tons of attention for doing it. Perhaps that affect is the intention.
My question is search engines. Does KPMG expect every search engine to "execute an agreement" in order to include: results in their database and subsequently provide the results to their users?
It seems that if, is actually intent on enforcing this policy, then they should require a userid and password to access every page, and then only provide the passwords to websites that have "executed" agreements. Personally, it looks to me like () is doing a good job of executing themeselves.
BTW, if you would like to know more about
Work for Change & GET PAID!
Pure arrogance.
--
Evan
"$30 for the One True Ring. $10 each additional ring!" -- JRR "Bob" Tolkien
Don't want people linking to your site? Fine. Then don't let them. When the webserver gets an HTTP GET request, check the referrer address. If its not coming from a "proper" link, then simply refuse to serve the page. No need to fuss about improper links. They simply won't work. And you'll be MORE than capable of keeping all those potential customers OFF your website. Who really wants customers anyways? All they do is provide you with more work to do. :)
-Restil
Play with my webcams and lights here
I, too, was somehwhat uncertain of KPMG's purpose.
But after hearing their theme song (mp3 from the wired article) I understand. "KPMG/We're strong as can be/A dream of power and energy/We go for the goal/Together we hold/On to our vision of global strategy..."
___
The way to see by faith is to shut the eye of reason. --Ben Franklin
I work at KPMG Consulting; there really is a bizarre lifestyle here. I do LOVE the theme song. It was available on one of our international intranet sites; one of the more hip netherlandic teams had it commissioned as part of their morale-building exercises.
It worked, actually; everyone in the company has laughed about that for the past year. I guess it was only a matter of time before we got publicly ridiculed because of it. I wonder if it was leaked for publicity? Hmmmmm...
KPMG: Please do not link to our website.
HAH! I wonder if CmdrTaco is going to recieve a cease & desist letter? Watch yo bad self, Rob!
Seriously, the irony here is just to much. How does it affect them in any way except more traffic for their site == more exposure + more banner ad revenue. And unless someone is using KPMG's equipment to host that link, they don't have to agree to jack shit. I propose a new theme song:
K-P-M-G!
We're out of touch with reality!
We have a website we don't want you to see.
If you link to us we're gonna break your knees!
It's all a part of our global stradegy...
CAn'T CompreHend SARcaSm?
I don't know if the "any publicity is good publicity" rule holds for consulting firms. It's a bad thing to get a reputation as a company that Doesn't Get It, when your whole business is based on the perception that you Get It.
Jeez. That's a lot of contracts...
"I don't trust goats," --To Catch a Spy
Better yet, KPMG theme song remixes!
the jungle remix
the hard-rock remix
There's also a teutonic remix out there somewhere, somebody want to provide a link?
KPMG is one of the Big Five accounting firms; just about anyone who would need their services already knows they exist. I think this just makes them look kind of dumb...