Slashdot Mirror
You May Not Link This Web Site
Ganon34 sent us a funny story about a company requiring permission to link their website. The company in question is KPMG, a financial and legal advisory company, and the article itself is an entertaining read about the aftermath of them sending demands that someone remove a link to their public web site. It's a pretty funny piece -- especially the part about KPMG's theme song. Also references the old ticketmaster vs ticet.com case that held up deep linking. It's all funny 'cuz its true.
Their page could also use some testing since it doesn't render in my browser.
That is one horrible flash intro at KPMG. No wonder they want people to get permission to link to it.
--- Think of it as evolution in action ---
Oops I did it again!
Damnit!
Just seemed ironic that /. linked to a site in order to break the news that a site prohibits linking to it.
There is no reasonable defense against an idiot with an agenda
:wq
If they don't want people linking to their website, just block all referrers. Mind you, it might be a bit difficult to get to their website, but rules are rules!
Wouldn't this be like hindering freedom of the press or something? That's like saying, "If you use our name in daily conversation, we'll sue you." Its almost as bad as companies trying to sue people because they give their products a bad review.
Job? I don't have time to get a job! Who will sit around and bitch about being broke and unemployed then?
Okay... so here's what I don't get... the company's policy clearly says "KPMG is obligated to protect its reputation and trademarks and KPMG reserves the right to request removal of any link to our website."
So what do they think? EVERYONE that they request to remove a link is going too. If they want to try to use this stupid policy to "enforce" something (what, I'm still not quite sure) then at least word it properly. In the form of "we request the right to force you to remove a link to our site." Not that either policy actually means anything.
I reserve the right to request you to remove any silver type jewerly while visitng my website.
that you ask permission before sending email to my inbox - or I'll sue!
try { do() || do_not(); } catch (JediException err) { yoda(err); }
What do you expect from a company that hires people based on GPA and status of college? All of the major consulting companies, Bain, McKinsey, PWC, et al, they won't even interview you if your SAT scores, GPA, and College aren't "top notch." It is pretty sad, as if this is really a measurement of ability. These companies don't like anyone to be individual or think outside the box and it shows in their draconian policies.
--Jon
This is a brilliant bit of viral marketing. Never heard of them 3 days ago and now they've been on FCompany and Slashdot. They are number 2 on the blogdex.
Watching Cowboy Bebop in my jammies, eating a bowl of Shreddies.
If my boss gave me the choice between singing that song and sodomizing myself with a baseball bat dipped in a paste of ground glass and 5-minute epoxy, I'd ask him for a map to the nearest Home Depot.
Clearly this is just a clever ploy to get tons of people to link to them. Look how many people have taken the bait so far!
If Current Trends Continue(tm), it's only a matter of time before they're at the top of the results for every google search.
I read this earlier today in Wired and had to wonder if this wasn't all a means of advertising through reverse psychology. Tell some geeks they can't do something that obviously anyone can do and they will do exactly the opposite.
And in the process this company gets a huge number of free links from just about everywhere. How many companies would not like to have their website linked everywhere?
Thought experiments for my web hypothetical kpmgsucks.com web site (someone owns it already):
- A link to KPMG that displays only if you're coming in from a kpmg.com (oops!) address. (I'd love to hear the conversation between KPMG and its outside corporate counsel on that one.)
- A link to KPMG that shows up on 0.1% of all page views, randomly.
- A GIF that looks like a blue, underlined link to kpmg.com (oops!)
if they have written agreements with Google, Altavista, and the other search engines. If not, perhaps their name should be removed from the engine.
Same with the phone books...
"Make it ten--I am only a poor corrupt official."
--Captain Louis Renault (Claude Rains), Casablanca
even google breaks the rules! google's simple search brings up many different links to kpmg
The anti-salmon
This will not be a laughing matter in five years. The 2600 DeCSS linking case ruled it is illegal to even link to illegal sites. It's only a matter of time before KPMG's attitudes become de facto.
[begin obligatory slashdot rant] This is truly a bizarre turn of evens as this ruling raises some fundamental questions about intellectual property rights and free speech on the Internet. You would think it is legal to link to a page against the author's permission. You would also think the likes of Madonna and Julia Roberts couldn't steal registered domains containing their names. All of these have been called into doubt as we descend down this slippery slope.
The corporate chokehold on individual freedoms needs greater vigilance. If you asked someone twenty years ago what they thought of random drug testing, stealth eavesdropping techniques, etc., you would probably get a much more appalled response than you would today. What are we in danger of not being appalled about twenty years from now?
More sites on this topic, esp. 46-49 of this ruling.
I wonder if http://www.kpmg.com/?#define%20m(i)(x[i]^s[i+84])y )c+=y=i^i/8^i>>4^i>>12,i=i>>8^y& gt;14,y=a^a*8^a>8^y/n."[k>>4]*2^k*257/8,s [j]=k^(k&k*2&34)*6^c+~y;}} would be an illegal hyperlink... Yep, that's DeCSS...
ok then your [sic] infringing on my copyright! Could you as [sic] me next time before STEALING my comments for your own?
KPMG Morale and Puffery Manager - Alright, guys, that sounds really positive and great, we'll send you the check in the mail.
...
...
...
(leaves, whistling that godawful song)
Producer - Man, I'm glad that's over.
Studio musicians - Yeah, man. Dig it. Lame gig.
Studio owner - I've been listening to these backwards
Producer - Well, I
Studio owner - You've got Price Waterhouse's human resources department's number backward masked on the first verse. I hope they don't find out
Producer - I couldn't resist. Hours and hours of listening to that damn song! I'm only human, damn it!
I bet they even submitted the link themselves ...
"A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of" - Ogden Nash
Most people haven't heard of firms like this because it does them no good to market to the average consumer since their services are of no interest to them. Large corporations pay them millions however, and you can pretty much bet that just about every Fortune 500 firm is one of their clients. A mid-level consultant in one of these firms bills out at about $300-$400 per hour. They make huge sums of money and wield tremendous power in corporate America.
-Vercingetorix
"Necessitas non habet legem." -St. Augustine
So its their policy, so what? It's not a contract, what binds anyone to abide by it? They can't do anything about it if he links to them, not to mention the free speech implications. This was just a lame attempt to shut off some bad press and ironically they're getting tons of attention for doing it. Perhaps that affect is the intention.
Pure arrogance.
--
Evan
"$30 for the One True Ring. $10 each additional ring!" -- JRR "Bob" Tolkien
Don't want people linking to your site? Fine. Then don't let them. When the webserver gets an HTTP GET request, check the referrer address. If its not coming from a "proper" link, then simply refuse to serve the page. No need to fuss about improper links. They simply won't work. And you'll be MORE than capable of keeping all those potential customers OFF your website. Who really wants customers anyways? All they do is provide you with more work to do. :)
-Restil
Play with my webcams and lights here
As the articles points out, KPMG has only gotten themselves into this embarrassing situation because they were unhappy about people making fun of another embarrassing situation: The KPMG Theme Song! It explains their power, strength, and global strategy (which must include really bad music).
(heres the akamai link to the mp3)
___
The way to see by faith is to shut the eye of reason. --Ben Franklin
I work at KPMG Consulting; there really is a bizarre lifestyle here. I do LOVE the theme song. It was available on one of our international intranet sites; one of the more hip netherlandic teams had it commissioned as part of their morale-building exercises.
It worked, actually; everyone in the company has laughed about that for the past year. I guess it was only a matter of time before we got publicly ridiculed because of it. I wonder if it was leaked for publicity? Hmmmmm...
It was for a Consultants' Conference in Frankfurt. See The Register.
You will also find the song lyrics is in that article.
It's 11pm, do you know what your deamons are up to?
KPMG: Please do not link to our website.
HAH! I wonder if CmdrTaco is going to recieve a cease & desist letter? Watch yo bad self, Rob!
Seriously, the irony here is just to much. How does it affect them in any way except more traffic for their site == more exposure + more banner ad revenue. And unless someone is using KPMG's equipment to host that link, they don't have to agree to jack shit. I propose a new theme song:
K-P-M-G!
We're out of touch with reality!
We have a website we don't want you to see.
If you link to us we're gonna break your knees!
It's all a part of our global stradegy...
CAn'T CompreHend SARcaSm?
Hey, whats the Slashdot theme song?
Jeez. That's a lot of contracts...
"I don't trust goats," --To Catch a Spy
Better yet, KPMG theme song remixes!
the jungle remix
the hard-rock remix
There's also a teutonic remix out there somewhere, somebody want to provide a link?
THink about it. It you want massive hits to your website, can you think of any better way than to get slashdot to say you forbid links--with the inevitable "defiant" link? . . .
hawk
Dear Mr. KPMD:
I heard that your firm had an excellent reputation for financial services, and I wanted to check out your website for specifics. But I can't find a link to it! Could you please write and tell me how to find your website??
Thanks,
Rob
This was painful to transcribe: mostly because I'm at work and trying to not burst out laughing:
KPMG:
We're strong as can be
A dream of power and energy
We go for the goal
Together we hold on to
Our vision of global strategy
We create
We elevate
We pass the ones that are la-ey-ate
A global shield
This is our dream of success
That we create
We'll be number one
#Whenever that comes?# [hard to make out]
Together each of us will run for gold
That shines like the sun in our eyes
Chorus [1st stanza]
The time is now
To lead the way
We share the same idea that may
Win by the end of the day
A friend that's here to stay
Identity
One energy
One strategy
With sypathy
These are the words
That can lead us to a new world
Chorus
Chorus
key-changed chorus
key-changed chorus a'la Gospel
-Vercingetorix
"Necessitas non habet legem." -St. Augustine
My employer's Head WebMaster recently released the newly revised web policy manual that all of the various department webmonkeys have to abide by.
In that manual under the section titled "Linking Policy" is this paragraph:
I haven't yet inquired as to exactly what the intent of such an absurd statement is or how that would be enforced or how the world at large would even be aware of a policy that is (AFAIK)only referenced in a purely internal document posted on our intranet.
Just how many companies have such silly policies?
Perhaps I'll start "linkriot.com" whose sole purpose is to collect the URL's of and link to the sites of such misguided entities.
lynx -useragent='Mozilla/4.0 (lynx; faked; hahahaha)' http://www.kpmg.com/
After accepting or rejecting the five cookies they offer (one for the initial connection, one for having seen the flash, one for a session id, and some others for who knows what), the page appears, and looks like it was written especially for Lynx! All the images have alt tags, the text formats nicely, it's easy to read..
So now what was all that
Edith Keeler Must Die
How kpmg.com renders in Mozilla
If KPMG can enforce their policy easily enough by simply not delivering content when the HTTP request comes in asking for their site. They say they are "e-business savvy", so they should have no trouble setting this up in just a few minutes.
The web is about linking. That's why they call it "The Web". If KPMG doesn't want to join in, then they should just stay out. And there are many ways to do that, including still having a site served by HTTP to send content to whoever types their name in manually, or links from sites they approve of. They should just do it and prove their competence in running their site their way.
But why the hell would I want to link to their site anyway. It sucks! The whole damn thing is a morass of lame Javascript. They can't even put plain HTML in and have to have Javascript generate it. It's clear to me that they don't know how to do things on the server side.
now we need to go OSS in diesel cars
"And this one (guitar) I've never played. See--it's still got the tags on it"
"Wow, that's something..."
"Don't touch it!"
"I wasn't going to touch it."
"Well don't touch it. Nobody must touch this guitar. In fact, don't even look at it. Turn around."
Sorry. Flashbacks.
"People who do stupid things with hazardous materials often die." -- Jim Davidson on alt.folklore.urban
Silly company.
--Ben
Their disclaimer http://www.kpmg.com/disclaimer.html says "Based on the fundamental universal condition of the electronic communication process, KPMG does not guarantee or warrant the Site will be uninterrupted". Can anyone say /. effect?
/
I really love their http://www.kpmg.com/robots.txt. it says:
# everyone go away
User-agent: *
Disallow:
-
- - You can't take something off the Internet! That's like trying to take pee out of a swimming pool.
Frankly, if KPMG doesn't want to be linked to, they should not be on the web.
Employee of Inrupt, Project Release Manager and Community Manager for Solid