Interview With Kernel Hacker Dave Jones

A reader writes "Kerneltrap has recently interviewed Dave Jones who currently lives in London, employed by SuSE as a Linux kernel hacker. In the past six months since he graduated from the University of Glamorgan he has gotten involved in an impressive range of kernel related projects, including Powertweak, x86info, OProfile and the Kernel Janitors Project. Additionally, he maintains a -dj patch for the 2.5 development kernel, helping to sync it with the stable 2.4 kernel as well as offering increased stability. "

Comments

FP

[Anonymous Coward]

All too easy....

page lengthening post!

[Klerck]

Back by unpopular demand, more random number crapflooding!

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Re:page lengthening post!

[core10k]

Will you please stop that? Goddamn is it ever annoying. : stabs yoo!

Re:page lengthening post!

[The Turd Report]

You are my fucking hero, man!

Re:page lengthening post!

[The WIPO Troll]

If I ever meet you, I will sever your head from your neck with a rusty butter knife.

Re:page lengthening post!

[Guns n' Roses Troll]

While trolling and the occasional goatse.cx ascii art is fine, the random number thing is getting pretty fucking gay. Can we have some sort of klerck headhunt? Winner gets to feed him into a woodchipper.

Re:page lengthening post!

[l33t j03]

The parent post was the first time I had seen said random number crapflooding. I thought it was great, and would like to see it again.

It also makes me happy to read that this kind of post has appeared enough times to annoy even the most hardened of crapflooders. This is evidence that the many eyes of open source that are supposed to be killing bugs are really just a bunch of morons staring at computer screens all over the world, Microsoft would have had a fix for this out 15 minutes after it first happened.

Re:page lengthening post!

[Retarded_One]

THE l33t j0e is back? Wow....

1st

[Motheius]

post?

first post

[cybergeak]

comon big first post

FP

[Anonymous Coward]

FPFPFP cmndrtaco sucks

F|rst P0st

[Anonymous Coward]

Lameness filter can KISS MY ASS.

I wonder

[Anonymous Coward]

How does he feel about the fact that your average memeber of MS' development team makes tons more money than he does and contributes much more to the IT world?

Re:I wonder

[Anonymous Coward]

Perhaps feels a bit better than the possible pain of having one's soul removed.

Re:I wonder

[Anonymous Coward]

Yes, but the hunger pains must be terrible. And it has to be an awful blow to one's ego to be a kernal hax0r and yet beg to put food on the table.

Re:I wonder

[Anonymous Coward]

RMS did this for years, but Dave can afford pizza and beer, so he's not exactly destitute.

Re: I wonder

[c0mawhite]

Beer

Pizza

Happiness is not necessarily a night in front of the TV with munchies and a couple of cold ones, but it's a possible fuel for kernel hackers.

Dear Davey Jones

[Reikk]

I love you man! You are great!!

Hey hey we're the monkeys!
We like to monkey around

Monkey Balls Anyone?

[Anonymous Coward]

Slashdot definitely sucks monkey testicles lately.

A new release of WindowMaker??!?! Wowwy Zowie! Who fuckin' cares?!?!?! IT SUCKS!

Some companies don't care about Web defacement!!!! What a fuckin' news flash! Unless it's your own company, who gives a flyin' cow shit? And if it is your own company, and your site sucks, maybe it'll get people to visit the fuckin' pit.

The commercialization of the Internet??!?! Fuckin' christ! When did that happen?! Holy shit, this is news to me! I could have sworn it happened about ten fuckin' years ago shortly after the birth of the WWW, but what the fuck do I know?!

No more sweaty mouse hands?!?!?! Cool! Just when I thought that I was a complete fuckin' degenerate playing games 'til my hands sweat and cramp, when I should be working or something, now I know that others share my problem, and life seems so much fucking better now.

thank you.

Dangerous game!

[The Turd Report]

During Christmas vacation of 1974, my father flew us all to Disney
World by route of Tampa, Florida. Ignorant of geography, it did not
occur to me that Tampa was out of the way to Disney World until my
father drove the rented van to the gates of MacDill Air Force Base.
Military personnel met me there and escorted me into the base TOP
SECRET high tech mind control conditioning facility for "behavioral
modification" programming. This was the first in what became a
routine series of mind control testing and/or programming sessions
on government installations that I would endure throughout my
Project Monarch victimization.

Whether I was in a military, NASA, or government building, the
procedure for maintaining me under total mind control remained
consistent with Project Monarch requirements. This included prior
physical and/or psychological trauma; sleep, food, and water
deprivation; high voltage electric shock; and hypnotic and/or
harmonic programming of specific memory compartments/ personalities.
The high tech equipment and methodisms I endured from that time on
gave the U.S. government absolute control of my mind and life. I had
been literally driven out of my conscious mind and existed only
through my programmed subconscious. I lost my free will, ability to
reason, and could not think to question anything that was happening
to me. I could only do as I was told.

In the summer of 1975, my family drove all the way from Michigan to
the Teton Mountains of Wyoming. I was ordered to ride in the back
storage area of the family Chevy Suburban since I was forbidden to
associate or communicate with my brothers and sister. So I dissociated
into books, or into the metaphorical, hypnotic suggestions from my
father and tranced deeper as I watched the prairie's seemingly endless
sea of "amber waves of grain" streak past my window. Once when we
stopped at a gas station, my father took me inside to show me a
stuffed "jackalope" mounted on the wall. Due to my tranced, dissociative
state and high suggestibility level, I believed it was indeed a cross
between a jack rabbit and antelope. It was 100+ degrees in the Badlands
when it cooled down at night. The intense heat of the day accentuated
my ever increasing thirst. My father was physically preparing me though
water deprivation for the intense tortures and programming I would endure
in Wyoming.

Dick Cheney, then White House Chief of Staff to President Ford, later
Secretary of Defense to President George Bush, documented member of the
Council on Foreign relations (CFR), and Presidential hopeful for 1996,
was originally Wyoming's only Congressman. Dick Cheney was the reason my
family had traveled to Wyoming where I endured yet another form of
brutality -- his version of "A Most Dangerous Game," or human hunting.

It is my understanding now that A Most Dangerous Game was devised to
condition military personnel in survival and combat maneuvers. Yet it was
used on me and other slaves known to me as a means of further conditioning
the mind to the realization there was "no place to hide," as well as
traumatize the victim for ensuing programming. It was my experience over
the years that A Most Dangerous Game had numerous variations on the
primary theme of being stripped naked and turned loose in the wilderness
while being hunted by men and dogs. In reality, all "wilderness" areas
were enclosed in secure military fencing whereby it was only a matter of
time until I was caught, repeatedly raped, and tortured.

Dick Cheney had an apparent addiction to the "thrill of the sport." He
appeared obsessed with playing A Most Dangerous Game as a means of
traumatizing mind control victims, as well as to satisfy his own perverse
sexual kinks. My introduction to the game occurred upon arrival at the
hunting lodge near Greybull, Wyoming, and it physically and psychologically
devastated me. I was sufficiently traumatized for Cheney's programming, as
I stood naked in his hunting lodge office after being hunted down and
caught. Cheney was talking as he paced around me, "I could stuff you and
mount you like a jackalope and call you a two legged dear. Or I could
stuff you with this (he unzipped his pants to reveal his oversized penis)
right down your throat, and then mount you. Which do you prefer?"

Blood and sweat became mixed with the dirt on my body and slid like mud
down my legs and shoulder. I throbbed with exhaustion and pain as I stood
unable to think to answer such a question. "Make up your mind," Cheney
coaxed. Unable to speak, I remained silent. "You don't get a choice,
anyway. I make up your mind for you. That's why you're here. For me to
make you a mind, and make you mine/mind. You lost your mind a long time
ago. Now I'm going to give you one. Just like the Wizard (of Oz) gave
Scarecrow a brain, the Yellow Brick Road led you here to me. You've 'come
such a long, long way' for your brain, and I will give you one."

The blood reached my shoes and caught my attention. Had I been further
along in my programming, I perhaps would never have noticed such a thing
or had the capability to think to wipe it away. But so far, I had only
been to MacDill and Disney World for government/military programming.
At last, when I could speak, I begged, "If you don't mind, can I please
use your bathroom?"

Cheney's face turned red with rage. He was on me in an instant, slamming
my back into the wall with one arm across my chest and his hand on my
throat, choking me while applying pressure to the cartorid artery in my
neck with his thumb. His eyes bulged and he spit as he growled, "If you
don't mind me, I will kill you. I could kill you -- Kill you -- with my
bare hands. You're not the first and you won't be the last. I'll kill
you any time I goddamn well please." He flung me on the cot-type bed that
as behind me. There he finished taking his rage out on me sexually.

On the long trip back to Michigan, I lay in a heap behind the seats of
the Suburban, nauseated and hurting from Cheney's brutality and high
voltage tortures, plus the whole Wyoming experience. My father stopped
by the waterfalls flowing through the Tetons to "wash my brain" of the
memory of Cheney. I could barely walk through the woods to the falls for
the process as instructed, despite having learned my lessons well from
Cheney on following orders.

The next year when our "annual" trip to Disney World rolled around, my
father drove, pulling his new Holiday Rambler Royale International trailer.
My father dropped me off en route at the Kennedy Space Center in Titusville,
Florida where I was subjected to my first NASA programming. From then on, I
was "obsessed" with following the "Yellow Brick Road" to Nashville,
Tennessee. Moving to Nashville was all I could talk about. If anyone asked
me the question I could not think to ask myself "Why?", I would respond by
reiterating it was something "I had to do."
--

Re:Dangerous game!

[Anonymous Coward]

Cool! Did you meet Jessica Alba when you were there? Did you see her naked? Did people call her "Dark Angel"?

Re:Dangerous game!

[Anonymous Coward]

Cheney was talking as he paced around me, "I could stuff you and mount you like a jackalope and call you a two legged dear. Or I could stuff you with this (he unzipped his pants to reveal his oversized penis)

From this statement it's obvious you've never met the Vice President personally. Believe me, there's a reason why he's only the "#2 man."

Histroy of hacking

[Anonymous Coward]

HISTORY REPEATS ITSELF

MONDAY MORNING

Cmdr Taco:I will not suck any more dick ever again.

MONDAY EVENING

Cmdr Taco: *slurp* *slurp* *slurp*

TUESDAY MORNING

Cmdr Taco: I will not suck any more dick ever again.

TUESDAY EVENING

Cmdr Taco: *slurp* *slurp* *slurp*

WEDNESDAY MORNING

Cmdr Taco: I will not suck any more dick ever again.

WEDNESDAY EVENING

Cmdr Taco: *slurp* *slurp* *slurp*

THURSDAY MORNING

Cmdr Taco: I will not suck any more dick ever again.

THURSDAY EVENING

Cmdr Taco: *slurp* *slurp* *slurp*

FRIDAY MORNING

Cmdr Taco: I will not suck any more dick ever again.

FRIDAY EVENING

Cmdr Taco: *slurp* *slurp* *slurp* *slurp*

SATURDAY MORNING

Cmdr Taco: I will not suck any more dick ever again.

SATURDAY EVENING

Cmdr Taco: *slurp* *slurp* *slurp*

SUNDAY MORNING

Cmdr Taco: Today is the Lord's day!

SUNDAY AFTERNOON

Cmdr Taco: *slurp* *slurp* *slurp*

Re:Histroy of hacking

[l33t j03]

If you actually read the informative post above you'll notice that Friday's cock required 4 slurps versus the 3 slurps for all other days. This is because Taco is my Friday thing and my impressive length required an additional slurp to reach the top.

Re:Histroy of hacking

[Anonymous Coward]

Now *that* was funny. Thanks for making me laugh

Arrrh!

[nexex]

Now we finally know what is in Davey Jones' locker! The most feared kernel hacker on the seven seas!

Re:Arrrh!

[Anonymous Coward]

Yes, because now that VA bit the big ine, SuSe is next to drown.

Re:Arrrh!

[JonS]

Actually he can look quite scary - He looks like Ming The Merciless when he grows a beard.

Re:Arrrh!

[JonS]

A Reply to my own post, but I've just found the evidence here

(Sorry Dave, but the world needed to know!)

Re:Arrrh!

[Anonymous Coward]

Now we finally know what is in Davey Jones' locker! The most feared kernel hacker on the seven seas!

This is one of the gayest comments I've ever seen. The moderators are even more homosexual for modding this up.

cracker not hacker

[Anonymous Coward]

He is a cracker, not a hax0r who is elite. This slashpost should be deleted. Fool.

Re:cracker not hacker

[neoevans]

keep your lame-ass script-kiddie shit on CS where it belongs. You wouldn't know elite if it fucked you in the ass!

You should KNEEL to the likes of Dave Jones.

Re:cracker not hacker

[The WIPO Troll]

Unfortunately I'm being fucked in the ass at the moment by CmdrTaco, so I guess I'll never have the opportunity to know "elite" by having him fuck me in the ass.

Athlon...

[daitengu]

Now you see the difference between Intel and AMD .. I really haven't seen Intel thanked by any of the Kernel hackers/developers the way AMD is constantly thanked for being so helpful. Just goes to show you what the better processor really is.

Re:Athlon...

[Anonymous Coward]

No, it just shows you who responds more to the open source crowd. "Open source" != "better". Intel has no reason to pander to some free software company. By virtue of being better, they get more money from companies with money to spend.

Re:Athlon...

[l33t j03]

Yeah yeah! Being thanked is far more important to a company than bringing in any cash. Hey, maybe, as a Christmas bonus, AMD could give their people a little card with a penguin on it, signed by Alan Cox and Dave Jones. That would just be so great wouldn't it? Then, when the their raw material suppliers put them on credit hold, they could send Richard Stallman over there to chat them up about how wonderful AMD is and how hackers really appreciate what they do.

Man, that would be neat.

Re:Athlon...

[Whizziwig]

the p3....

just from personal experience, the p3 is a better/faster/more responsive desktop chip. I realize it's about 50% more expensive than a comprable athalon, but a 933mhz p3 on an i815 smokes my 1.1ghz tbird wit a gf2-mx400. Both 100mhz fsb (yeah, tbird is ddr, so it's 2x100). Not a hard drive issue either.

Re:Athlon...

[Stone Rhino]

But intel destroyed any notion of being a good chip manufacturer when it artificially inflated the clock speed of the P4 by sacrificing performance. Now even a 1.56 ghz athlon xp can smoke the fastest p4 (2.0 ghz) in most situations.

Re:Athlon...

[Anonymous Coward]

Intel has invested money and resources into linux, eg - their fortran and c/c++ compilers (which put gcc to shame), they invested money into Red Hat (and some other distros, too). It wasn't AMD that made linux the first OS to run on the itanium.

Re:Athlon...

[duffbeer703]

You are a Slashdot infidel!

How dare you say the commercial software is better than gcc.

Of course, you have to code so much around gcc bugs that your software can't compile on the Intel compiler anyway!

Re:Athlon...

[lazy_greenhouse_gas]

Your smoking crack and there are plenty 'o bipartisan benchmark tests that prove it. Just do a google search. As far as smoking the athlon->nothing smokes better than the athlon: MY room doesn't need no stinking heaters...

Re:Athlon...

[Anonymous Coward]

has anyone here tried using these profilers?
it looks like the ones listed are still alpha.
the last time i tried using a profiler (one
from Univ. of Michigan), it kept crashing
my machine.

Re:Athlon...

[Whizziwig]

I've come to the belief that there's a difference between benchmarks and real world use. Mostly after my experiences with the athalon & the p3.

Re:Athlon...

[Shade, The]

In my experience I've found the Athlons faster than the Pentiums. My Athlon 1.2GHz smoked a P4 1.4GHz in benchmarks - heh :)

Re:Athlon...

[VAXman]

Which benchmark - the one where the HSF falls off?

Re:Athlon...

[Sivar]

Are you really so misinformed that you believe a 1.4GHz Pentium 4 can outperform a 1.1GHz Athlon Thunderbird in more than a handful of applications? (all of which are special purpose and highly P4 optimized)
If you compare the design decisions made, all but the least geeky of us can see that the P4 is designed for clockspeed (for marketing--the average joe equates clockspeed linearly with performance) whereas the Athlon was designed for real-world performance.

If the only material you have is "what if the heatsink falls off.", that's fairly pathetic. Most Athlon motherboards have mounting holes around the CPU. If you mount the heatsink to those, you'd have to rip a chunk of the motherboard off in order for the heatsink to come loose--and even then it would still be attached to the CPU! (Just that the CPU portion of the motherboard would have been liberated)

Charles Burns

Re:Athlon...

[Sivar]

That doesn't sound very likely. The only significant architectural advantages that the P3 has over the T-bird are SSE and a much wider L2 cache (256 bit VS the Athlon's 64-bit)
In the majority of real-world applications, a T-bird will be within 5% of the speed of the P3. Sometimes 5% faster, sometimes 5% slower, or somewhere in-between (depends onthe application).
If you have an Athlon system (which has a clockspeed advantage, no less) that "seems" slower, it is likely either a hardware problem, as in some other component of the system is holding it back, or you suffer from the 'feel good' feeling that some people have with an Intel chip VS. anyone else.
Not that the P3 isn't a good chip--far from it. It is amazing that it can compete with the Athlon (other than in clockspeed) with a core that was designed almost 7 years ago. It is a tribute to Intel's engineering prowess.
If only the P4 was a tribute to anything but consumer ignorance.
"P4 is 2GHz. Ath-a-lon is 1.6GHz. 2 is bigger than 1.6, therefore P4 is faster."
By that logic, every CPU on earth has the same performance, so it doesn't matter other than how high you can get he clockspeed. I guess a 1GHz IBM Power4 is slower than a 1.3GHz Pentium-4. (or not...)

That said, if your Athlon system has a 100MHz FSB, something is wrong. The only chipset that defaults to such as speed is the prehistoric AMD750, which doesn't work with T-birds anyway. It is also not a DDR chipset. Come to think of it, the i815 (which is a great chipset) supports a 133MHz FSB as well. Was that a typo?

Charles Burns

Re:Athlon...

[jonnythan]

My United Devices disributed agent (kinda like SETI@home for cancer research) rates the P4 1.5 GHz as 100%, and my Athlon XP at 1400 MHz as 133% :D

Re:Athlon...

[Anonymous Coward]

Your opinion would be more respected if you would learn to spell the product you disparage. It's ATHLON you doofus.

Re:Athlon...

[Whizziwig]

It's a via (amd) board...maybe it is the chipset.

the core frequency of the athalon is measured as a mutliple of 100, the fsb is 2x that. So the fsb is 200. It's a kt133a.

yeah...you're also right about the p3, 933 divides roughly evenly by 133...

Where does the feel good effect of intel chipsets come from? Are via chipsets that crappy? What alternative is there for a good amd chipset? none of the in-house amd chipsets are actually production read yas far as I understand, they were jsut reference designs.

Re:Athlon...

[daitengu]

And what tests are you using? EVERY test I've ever seen has had the Athlon WASTING the Pentium III .. in everything... at all speeds.

Re:Athlon...

[Whizziwig]

no benchmarks...day to day desktop usage...

Re:Athlon...

[daitengu]

you've got some other sort of hardware issues, unless your PIII is some sort of mutant..... I love how people always say "Oh, my computer is slow, I must need a new processor" .. or "My processor sucks" as the hard drive sits at 80% fragmented....

Re:Athlon...

[nmos]

"That said, if your Athlon system has a 100MHz FSB, something is wrong. The only chipset that defaults to such as speed is the prehistoric AMD750 "

That's not true, quite a few Athlon motherboards default to 100/200MHz fsb. It's pretty common to have to change a jumper or bios setting to enable 133/266 fsb operation. Remember that some Athlons (even some Tbirds) and all Durons come in 100/200 fsb versions.

Re:Athlon...

[nmos]

"Where does the feel good effect of intel chipsets come from? Are via chipsets that crappy?"

You have to realize that for a while Intel had such a huge majority of the cpu/chipset market that many hardware venders tested almost exclusivly with Intel stuff, at least until after they got the product out the door. Also When the KT133 came out Intel was still using the aging BX chipset and all the required drivers (for the BX) were already built into Win98. The KT133 however was newer than Win98 so those users had to install extra drivers to get things working properly.

While I think that the reliability of the KT133 chipset is probably debatable, the performance was never bad enough to explain a 1.1GHz Athlon being outperformed by a 933MHz P3. Something else must be up with your setup.

" What alternative is there for a good amd chipset? "

The SiS 730S and 735S chipsets seem to perform well and have very few problems however AFIK they are only currently being used on PCChips motherboards which many people (for good reason) won't touch. Personally I've been very happy with the 730 & 735 based systems I've built.

Re:Athlon...

[Anonymous Coward]

Maybe it's a "you suck"-type issue. You cannot even spell athlon, so I come to two thoughts. The first is A) You are a moron; or B) You don't own an athlon. Each of these thoughts have but one conlusion: you don't know what you are talking about. Please stop trying to speak your mind, abd just fall into the mindless troll society that is Slashdot is.

Re:Athlon...

[Syberghost]

I really haven't seen Intel thanked by any of the Kernel hackers/developers the way AMD is constantly thanked for being so helpful. Just goes to show you what the better processor really is.

I wasn't aware the industry had switched to a "how nicely they responded to email" benchmark for processors.

Unless you think the Intel processors automatically change the contents of emails or delete them or something, I don't see the technical link between "bunch of dicks" and "products don't work".

I'm not taking a stand here on which processor is better, but you are making an assertion that a point of corporate culture is proof of a qualitative technical opinion, and I believe the term the industry uses for that is "bullshit".

CmdrTaco raped my sister!?

[The WIPO Troll]

I LIKE TO FUCK MY LITTLE SISTER! (AND OTHER PERVERSIONS) By The WIPO Troll, $Revision: 1.2 $

[Apparently this post is extremely good at getting biters. According to an anonymous cow herd, Attorney General Ashcroft is also after me now, in addition to the Canadian horsie-cops that another A.C. sent after me a couple days ago. Well, this should be fun. Keep up the biting, Slashdotters! -ed.]

What's black, blue and green and doesn't like sex? The Girl Scout locked in my basement. What's the worst part about having sex with a six year-old? Getting the blood out of your clown suit. What's the best thing about getting a hand job from a five year-old? That little hand makes your thing look really huge. Guy comes home from work to find his girlfriend sitting on the porch, crying. "What's wrong, honey?" "I'm leaving you! I just found out you're a pædophile!" "Pædophile? Why, that's a pretty big word for a ten-year old." How can you tell when your sister's on her period? When your dad's dick tastes like blood! Two pedophiles are lying on a beach tanning, one turns to the other and says, "Excuse me, you're in my son." What's 18 inches long, blue, veiny, and makes a woman cry? Crib death. How could the man's seven year-old son tell that his dad has farked his eight year-old sister? His dad's weiner tasted like blood! Watson returns home to find Holmes in bed with a child. He shouts, "Is this some sort of a schoolgirl?" Holmes replies, "Elementary, my dear Watson." So I was having sex with my girlfriend, and I decided I wanted to get kinky and try and do her in the ass. So I slipped around back; she looked over her shoulder at me and said, "My, how presumptious of you." I said, "Presumptious? That's a big word for a ten year-old." Two guys are walking down the street when a beautiful woman passes. The first guy says, "Damn! I'd love to tear her clothes off, do her in the rear, smear my fæces all over her, slice off her breasts, chop her into little pieces, put her in a garbage bag and toss her into the river!" Second guy says, "Yuck! You're a sick bastard!" First guy says, "What're you? A fag?" A Kidergarden teacher is asking the kids what their father does for a living. All the kids answer except for Little Johnny. The teacher asks Little Johnny what his Dad does and Johnny replies, "My dad is dead." The teacher says, "That's terribile, but what did he do before he died?" Little Johnny replies, "He turned blue and shit all over himself!" A guy calls in sick to work. "What's wrong?" asks the boss. "I'm sick," the guy replies. "You sound all right." "No, I'm really sick. Believe me." "Listen, you were fine yesterday, and we have a lot of work today. I want you in here. You can't be that sick!" "Dude, I just banged my sister. Don't tell me I'm not sick." A little girl accompanied her father to the barbershop. While her dad received a haircut, the little girl stood next to the barber chair, enjoying a snack cake. The barber smiled at her and said, "Sweetheart, you're going to get hair on your Twinkie." "I know," the little girl replied. "I'm gonna get tits, too." An older man and a small boy walk hand in hand through the woods. Boy: "These woods sure are spooky!" Man: "You think you're scared, I've gotta walk out of here alone." What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? One walked on the moon, and the other rapes little boys. Has anyone read Michael Jackson's new book, "The Ins and Outs of Child Rearing"? Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and a golden delicious apple? A: I don't cum all over the golden delicious apple before I take a bite out of it. Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and my girlfriend? A: I don't kiss my girlfriend after sex. Q: What is special about a dead baby over all other forms of life? A: You can achieve deep throat from whichever way you enter. Q: What do you have when you have four dead babies, take away two, and add five more? A: An orgy! Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and a table? A: You can't fuck a table. Q: What's white and bobs up and down in a baby's crib? A: A pædophile's ass. Q: Whats the safest way to play with a baby? A: With a condom. Q: Whats more fun than feeling up a dead baby? A: Feeling up a dead baby with three nipples. Q: What does a baby and a Pinto have in common? A: They're fun to ride until they die. Q: What do you get whan you dislocate a dead baby's jaw? A: Deep throat. Q: Whats the difference between a baby and a grandmother? A: Grandmothers dont die when you fuck them in the ass. Q: What's the best sound in the world? A: Hearing dead baby's hips crack under pressure! Q: Whats worse than a having sex with a dead baby? A: Having sex with a dead baby filled with razor blades. Q: How do you stop a baby from choking? A: Take your dick out of its mouth. Q: What's worse than finding a dead baby on your pillow in the morning? A: Realizing you were drunk and made love to it the night before. Q: How do you make a baby cry twice? A: Wipe your bloody cock on his teddy bear. What's better than sex with a twelve year-old boy? Absolutely nothing.

Thanks to Fark.com for all of these wonderfully sick jokes! I couldn't have done it without you! And thanks to all the Anonymous Cowards who have flamed me, I have three words for you! "YHBT! YHL! HAND!"

________________________________________

• The URL of this document is http://slashdot.org/journal.pl? op=display &uid=267426 &id=3101.

$Id: pedo-jokes.html,v 1.2 2001/12/22 00:19:42 wipo Exp $

Copyright © 2001 The WIPO Troll. Verbatim crapflooding of this document is permitted in any medium, provided this copyright notice is preserved, and next time you take a dump, you think of the WIPO Troll and all he's done to make Slashdot a better place.

Re:CmdrTaco raped my sister!?

[Anonymous Coward]

I just heard some sad news on talk radio - pedophile/homosexual writer The WIPO Troll was indicted in Federal District Court in Alexandria, VA. The charges of libel and defamation of character stem from a series of blistering personal attacks on one CMDR Taco.
There weren't any more details. I'm sure everyone in the Slashdot community hated him - there's no denying that he was a truly worthless twat.

An anonymous commander of tacos is quoted as saying "Thank General Ashcroft for suspending free speech, it allowed me to finally smoke this terrorist out of his hole"

double life?

[Anonymous Coward]

Wasn't he in the Monkeys?

Hacking a simple computer

[Anonymous Coward]

Due to the fact that the complexity is hidden from the user, hacking an easy-to-use computer is much more difficult. Simple = harder in this case.

Anyway, here is the simplest computer around, and the interface is perfect because we are all born with it - the interface is human DRIVE. The computer works like this: I stick my pee sprout in your mom's poop chute for 1, and I stick it in her pee hole for 0.

poop chute = 1
pee hole = 0

Sometimes I stick it in her mouth, but that is for parity.

Sometimes complex operations can take a long time to complete, but that's okay! We're looking for simplicity here, not speed. And waiting for this interface isn't that bad.

This simple computer is very susceptable to visuses. In fact, it comes pre-loaded with several.

For review:

poop chute = 1
pee hole = 0

This computer also fits into Microsoft's .Net strategy - namely, pay per use. It costs $10 per computation, or 15 minutes, whichever comes first.

poop chute = 1
pee hole = 0

Stephen King, author, dead at 55

[Anonymous Coward]

I just heard some sad news on talk radio - Horror/Sci Fi writer Stephen King was found dead in his Maine home this morning. There weren't any more details. I'm sure everyone in the Slashdot community will miss him - even if you didn't enjoy his work, there's no denying his contributions to popular culture. Truly an American icon.

How is this for random numbers

[Rumagent]

00100

gee i wonder how he got his job

[Anonymous Coward]

i don't know how things are overseas, but this being the UK, i expect he was the friend of or related to someone at suse.

it's a slow day on slashdot when "graduate gets linux-related job" is front page news.

Wowee

[The WIPO Troll]

It is very cold and I fear my dick will snap off if I stroke it. Oh, dear... it just did. Anyone have any duct tape?

Re:Wowee

[The Turbinator]

Cold? Man, it's pretty fucking warm in here.
Sure that isn't the syphilis kicking in?
You might want to get that looked at.

btw, is your sister free this Friday?
My goose has the burning desire to lay a golden egg.

Re:Wowee

[The WIPO Troll]

It's cold up here. No syphilis, but I do think I have some kind of parasites gnawing away down there. Bloody little buggers...

Sure, you can borrow sis for a while. I want her back by Saturday morning though, and make sure you wash her off! I don't want her all sticky when I fuck her myself.

Re:Wowee

[The Turbinator]

What, you don't like the creamy surprise in the center?
I thought I would leave that in as a bonus.

Re:Wowee

[The WIPO Troll]

Which hole?

Re:Wowee

[The Turbinator]

Both, as usual.
Maybe even her ear if I have some left over.

Re:Wowee

[The WIPO Troll]

So I assume you'll be leaving her mouth clear of your jizz-snot. That's good because I'll be feeding her mine the moment you bring her back. Want to stay awhile and watch?

Re:Wowee

[The Turbinator]

Fuck, I'll hold the camera!

Re:Wowee

[The WIPO Troll]

No need, we have a tripod. Otherwise it would be rather difficult to pork her and get good pictures at the same time, don't you think?

Re:Wowee

[The Turbinator]

Not if you have a sick freak like me handy to hold the camera.
Tripods are so limited. You're going to want angled shots, zoom-ins and a lot of other fancy tricks you can't get with a tripod.
And I'm the right wierdo for the job!

Re:Wowee

[The WIPO Troll]

We could get a couple of those X10 babies and duct tape them to various, er "strategic" locations on her body, too. They look small enough to be shoved places, also. :-)

Re:Wowee

[The Turbinator]

See, now you're thinking my style!
I'll get the peanut butter and Ferrero Rocher!

Re:Wowee

[The WIPO Troll]

I'll bring the duct tape and nipple clamps, and of course, my sister!

Re:Wowee

[The Turbinator]

Boobie tassels and ballgag are on me!

Re:Wowee

[The WIPO Troll]

Excellent. You have any KY or do I need to go get some? I got some axle grease around here somewhere but it just isn't the same.

This is a most beautiful cascade, is it not?

Re:Wowee

[The Turbinator]

A buddy of mine accidently used Vicks Vapo Rub, and his girlfriend ended up screaming and running to the bathroom. He didn't feel a thing because he was wearing a rubber.
I think we should surprise your sister.

P.S. - Don't you ever fucking sleep? You're just as bad as me. =)

Re:Wowee

[The WIPO Troll]

KY mixed with tobasco sauce also has its merits. Of course if you really want to make her scream, there's hot wax. Nice and smooth fit too once it cools off in her.

If you notice, there was a several-hour gap in my replying. I believe I was sleeping during that period, but I may just have been too drunk to hit the "reply" button accurately enough with my moose. WIPO's been all liquored up lately.

Re:Wowee

[The Turbinator]

Meh, I guess we sleep the same hours. I was out like a light during the same time period. SDEM's mom really wore me out.
Anyway, how was Christmas?

Re:Wowee

[The WIPO Troll]

SDEM's mom is an old whore. Try cyborg_monkey's sister, she's a good boff. She squeals real loud when you give it to her in the nostrils.

Christmas sucked, other than a plastic bag of old taco-snot (which I think was a used condom -- used up cowboiKneel's ass judging by the brown film on the outside) all I got was the privilege to give the local Salvation Army santa a blowjob behind a dumpster. That was all right, he hand-cuffed me to the dumpster and left me there, but at least he didn't sodomize me or beat me to death or anything.

I was hoping for my sister, naked, chained up with a big bow tied around her belly sitting under the Christmas tree (actually a potted plant I found in the garbage) but it didn't happen. Maybe next year. Until then, WIPO's gonna be busy with his right hand and some scat porn.

Re:Wowee

[The Turbinator]

Wow, I don't know about you, but I had a great Christmas.
Some wierdo at a local charity gave me a blowjob in a back alley behind a dumpster. I was dressed up as Santa to give presents to needy kids, and this guy sat on my lap and told me he wanted to know why they called me Jolly old Saint Nick, so I gave him a first-hand history lesson.
I felt kind of bad handcuffing him and leaving him there though..But I got carried away! Ahh well, so is life.
Next time around, I think I'll sodomize him and beat him with my Santa sack just for kicks.

Re:Wowee

[The WIPO Troll]

Wow. That sounds like exactly what happened to me!! Except the guy who raped me stuck a giant dildo up my butt and left it there the whole time, so it was almost as bad ad being sodomized. The funny thing was, though, this guy's cock was so small even if he did sodomize me, I wouldn't have felt a thing. He also seemed to have a problem keeping it up and kept slapping me everytime it went limp in my mouth.

Do you know him?

Re:Wowee

[The Turbinator]

Sure you didn't get Cmdr Taco by mistake? That would explain the snotted condom.
I must say, I enjoyed the blowjob though. Meh, it was cold out. Whaddaya expect, Peter fucking North in sub-zero temps?
Doubtful. Blame that on Mother nature. =\
Now that I think of it, I think I will sodomize the guy next year. And I'll let your sister hold the camera.
I'm going to have little metal studs installed in my penis sometime next year, so that will really freak her out.
Think of it as my present to her.

Re:Wowee

[The WIPO Troll]

I have absolutely nothing to say to this comment. I barely understood it. But the cascade must go on, don't you agree? So, here goes:

"Taco-snot. Snot! Snot! Snot!!! Wheee!!! I like to shit on things! And rape my sister! *POOP!!* Ahahahahh! Um.... CmdrTaco is a fag! A faggotty fag! And he likes poop!!!"

Yes, I'm bored and out of ideas. Completely. At least I can still laugh at myself.

Re:Wowee

[The Turbinator]

Ahh well. I guess I'm out of ideas too.
You sister is quite a fine piece of ass.

Re:Wowee

[The WIPO Troll]

Yes, she is. I should know, I'm back in her right now! Squeal, bitch!

Re:Wowee

[The Turbinator]

Ahhh, yea.. Cruisin' by in my new Geforce 3.
Feel the burn!

Re:Wowee

[The WIPO Troll]

That was completely offtopic. (Unless you plan on ramming your GeForce3 up her butt or something.)

Carry on, by all means.

Re:Wowee

[The Turbinator]

I donno about the Geforce 3, but I'll gladly shove my throbbing member up her butt.

Re:Wowee

[The WIPO Troll]

By all means, enjoy yourself with her. She'll only be a nubile little preteen for another few years, and she's already quite loose and saggy from my own WIPO-cock.

Re:Wowee

[Anonymous Coward]

> KY mixed with tobasco sauce also has its merits. Of course if you really want to make her scream, there's hot wax.

I don't really think this kind of talk is appropriate, guys. Besides, the easiest and most gratifying way is to give her a good crack to the chops. (WIPO, you wouldn't force me to pay for your sister's medical bills, would you? I mean, time heals all wounds -- even the gaping ones!)

Re:Wowee

[The WIPO Troll]

Hey, stop interfering with our beautiful cascade!!! Of course it's appropriate, this is Slashdot for Christ's sakes, anything is appropriate at -1 levels. And, no, time does not seem to heal all gaping wounds, for example.

Why Gnome but not KDE?

[Anonymous Coward]

This is offtopic, yet interesting.

Coming back from holidays I wanted to know what happened on the KDE front. So, I go to Slashdot and search for KDE. Nil. Nothing.

Ok, so I search for Gnome... Vroooommm. Lots of hits. What?!

Please, what is up?

Re:Why Gnome but not KDE?

[michael]

MySQL doesn't index words shorter than four characters. Can't search for any three letter acronym.

For KDE though, you could search by topic.

Re:Why Gnome but not KDE?

[The WIPO Troll]

My cock is what's up. Can you bend over?

Re:Why Gnome but not KDE?

[The WIPO Troll]

Hey, michael! Fuck you with a ribbed goat penis the size of the Titanic! How's the Taco-snot down at the geek compound? Still getting those crotch hairs out of your teeth? Have fun, Nazi.

Re:Why Gnome but not KDE?

[The WIPO Troll]

Wow, a whole shitload of comments gets modded down at the same moment you're poasting here. So not only do you crack-smoking cock-eating jizz-slurping cum-guzzling editors have infinite mod points but you can poast without them being cancelled, too. I guess that's useful or pimply-faced dog-fucking anus-rimming goat-blowing turd-nibbling monkey-screwing editors like you wouldn't be able to poast to ANY story.

Re:Why Gnome but not KDE?

[l33t j03]

MySQL doesn't index words shorter than four characters

The evidence that MSSQL or Oracle are superior to all existing open source databases.

Re:Why Gnome but not KDE?

[Anonymous Coward]

Dude, why don't you come up with an original troll to post? A bunch of potty words and bashing on the slashdot editors like your above rant does no good. It's been done before, and it's old and boring. Now Klerck, he's got original stuff. That's funny. You're not. You cut and paste pre-compiled stories and only write your own 'insightful' swear word laden posts. BOOORRRRINNNGG! No wonder you're mad at Klerck for his page widening/lengthening posts; he's smarter, and funnier, than you.

Anonymously yours...

Re:Why Gnome but not KDE?

[The WIPO Troll]

Right, Klerck.

Re:Why Gnome but not KDE?

[Anonymous Coward]

If you were such a wonderful troll you would have been able to trace my anonymous post and find out that, indeed, I am not Klerck.

Re:Why Gnome but not KDE?

[The WIPO Troll]

If you want someone to trace your anonymous poast, look up. His name is "michael," Slashdot's resident Nazi hypocrite scum-licking megalomaniac.

WIPO Troll, author, dead at 12 years old

[Anonymous Coward]

I just heard some sad news on talk radio - scat/pedophile writer The WIPO Troll was found dead in his Massachusetts home this morning. There weren't any more details. I'm sure everyone in the Slashdot community will miss him - even if you didn't enjoy his work, there's no denying his contributions to popular culture. Truly an American icon.

A question for Dave Jones

[Anonymous Coward]

Any hope of a Monkees reunion in '02? :)

Any truth to the rumour...

[Rude Turnip]

that Dave will be collaborating with Iggy Pop and Lou Reed on his upcoming kernel patches?

BSD is better

[Anonymous Coward]

I have nearly identical computers here on my desk. Both are 1ghz amd/abit/geforce, one is running linux2.4.17, and the other is FreeBSD4.4 Using both of these side-by-side, to run similar tasks, it's quite apparent that the BSD machine is faster. The linux machine is riddled with many small latencies. Also when you configure and compile the kernel, and look over how the source code is laid out, you quickly realize how much more organized and logical the BSD layout is. Linux has the advantage of there being more packages configured specifically for it. Compiling the latest package from source on BSD is almost always harder than linux. Thats because a lot of very naive people chose linux as their target platform, because they were ignorant of the bsd family. If you think I'm wrong, and you do know about bsd, then that's fine. Anyway just note that all the linux will never be as polished and robust as BSD, unless you throw away your current code tree, and replace it with the BSD kernel.

Re:BSD is better

[Anonymous Coward]

I've never heard speech more ignorant than this. First of all, throughput and latency are two different animals. Linux may (in some cases) have higher latency (you didn't state any specifics -- why not?), but it has quite stable throughput. There are several patches available that address the latency issue as well.

Secondly, why does it matter if BSD has lower latencies? The BSD people themselves claim they are producing a server platform. It isn't a workstation. Believe me, the BSD people are not sitting around thinking to themselves "Now, how can we reduce UI-latency today?"

Thirdly, people who choose Linux are not naive. They have, quite rightly, chosen a platform which is constantly evolving and experimenting with new technologies -- something BSD does not do. We all remember the big fuss over the VM switch in kernel 2.4. And the kernel is now better for it. Imagine the BSD folk doing something like that. It isn't going to happen.

BSD stopped evolving long ago. That's ok -- now, people expend their effort crystallizing it into a secure, robust system that people can depend on. Linux takes a different path, one of experimentation.

Engage in your silly OS bigotry all you want, but leave your thoughts in your own head where they belong. We're really all sick of hearing it.

Dave Jones

[Jodrell]

Since there hasn't been a proper post yet, just my two pence: Dave's a nice bloke. We've been out drinking a few times and he's a laugh. Also very scary, but that's a fact of life if 1) you're welsh and 2) you hack the kernel for fun and profit.

Re:Dave Jones

[Anonymous Coward]

Did you guys get drunk, then you fell asleep and he took a picture of you with his dick in your mouth?
shut your fucking face uncle fucker...

Re:Dave Jones

[l33t j03]

There isn't going to be a proper post. Yours isn't proper. All the ones before it aren't proper. Mine isn't proper.

WIPO Troll, indicted in federal distric court

[Anonymous Coward]

I just heard some sad news on talk radio - pedophile/homosexual writer The WIPO Troll was indicted in a federal district court in Alexandria, VA. The charges of libel and defamation of character stem from a series of blistering personal attacks on one CMDR Taco.
There weren't any more details. I'm sure everyone in the Slashdot community hated him - there's no denying that he was a truly worthless twat.

An anonymous commander of tacos is quoted as saying "Thank General Ashcroft for suspending free speech, it allowed me to finally smoke this terrorist out of his hole"

Wipo TROLL indicted in Federal District Court

[Anonymous Coward]

I just heard some sad news on talk radio - pedophile/homosexual writer The WIPO Troll was indicted in a federal district court in Alexandria, VA. The charges of libel and defamation of character stem from a series of blistering personal attacks on one CMDR Taco.
There weren't any more details. I'm sure everyone in the Slashdot community hated him - there's no denying that he was a truly worthless twat.

An anonymous commander of tacos is quoted as saying "Thank General Ashcroft for suspending free speech, it allowed me to finally smoke this terrorist out of his hole"

I like monkeys

[Anonymous Coward]

I like monkeys. The pet store was selling them for five cents a piece. I thought that odd since they were normally a couple thousand. I decided not to look a gift horse in the mouth. I bought 200. I like monkeys.

I took my 200 monkeys home. I have a big car. I let one drive. His name was Sigmund. He was retarded. In fact, none of them were really bright. They kept punching themselves in their genitals. I laughed. Then they punched my genitals. I stopped laughing.

I herded them into my room. They didn't adapt very well to their new environment. They would screech, hurl themselves off of the couch at high speeds and slam into the wall. Although humorous at first, the spectacle lost its novelty halfway into its third hour.

Two hours later I found out why all the monkeys were so inexpensive: they all died. No apparent reason. They all just sorta' dropped dead. Kinda' like when you buy a goldfish and it dies five hours later. Damn cheap monkeys.

I didn't know what to do. There were 200 dead monkeys lying all over my room, on the bed, in the dresser, hanging from my bookcase. It looked like I had 200 throw rugs.

I tried to flush one down the toilet. It didn't work. It got stuck. Then I had one dead, wet monkey and 199 dead, dry monkeys.

I tried pretending that they were just stuffed animals. That worked for a while, that is until they began to decompose. It started to smell real bad.

I had to pee but there was a dead monkey in the toilet and I didn't want to call the plumber. I was embarrassed.

I tried to slow down the decomposition by freezing them. Unfortunately, there was only enough room for two monkeys at a time so I had to change them every 30 seconds. I also had to eat all the food in the freezer so it didn't all go bad.

I tried burning them. Little did I know my bed was flammable. I had to extinguish the fire.

Then I had one dead, wet monkey in my toilet, two dead, frozen monkeys in my freezer, and 197 dead, charred monkeys in a pile on my bed. The odor wasn't improving.

I became agitated at my inability to dispose of my monkeys and to use the bathroom. I severely beat one of my monkeys. I felt better.

I tried throwing them away but the garbage man said that the city was not allowed to dispose of charred primates. I told him that I had a wet one. He couldn't take that one either. I didn't bother asking about the frozen ones.

I finally arrived at a solution. I gave them out as Christmas gifts. My friends didn't know quite what to say. They pretended that they like them, but I could tell they were lying. Ingrates. So I punched them in the genitals.

I like monkeys.

Re:I like monkeys

[Anonymous Coward]

All I can say is.... lol

Dear Dave Jones...

[ringbarer]

Please shut the fuck up.

Love,

Everyone.

Dave *is* Ming The Merciless

[Joel Rowbottom]

OK, let's compare the two here. Dave compared with Ming the Merciless (of Flash Gordon fame).

Now, is that a separated-at-birth thing or what?

But at least he's grown the beard back. Most certainly required for Alan Cox-style shenanigans.

Re:Dave *is* Ming The Merciless

[l33t j03]

But at least he's grown the beard back. Most certainly required for Alan Cox-style shenanigans

Also handy if you can't afford a razor and are a pedophile.

I'm impressed, and amazed!

[jd]

The University of Glamorgan (formerly the Polytechnic of Wales) is probably the least-clued University in the country, when it comes to technology. I can remember introducing the wonders of Gopher, Archie and Netrek to the PoW, when I was a student there. Gopher got banned, as it took control away from the system admins, and also weakened their argument that students shouldn't be allowed Internet access, as they'd clog the network up.

Porting the VAX Netrek clients to the DEC stations was, ummm, fun. :) The VAX at the University at the time was slow, horribly unstable, and totally unsuited to heavy-duty interactive network gaming. But, hey! Hardly anyone used the DEC stations, apart from some engineering types who needed to use the PHIGS graphics language. Not getting caught was a bit tougher, but I managed to get a Netrek group running for almost a month, before anyone caught on.

Then, of course, there was The Curse Of PoWCON! It's a conferencing program, based on DEC Notes. The database would blow up, every time a conference exceeded 2,000 notes. Which happened frequently, especially on the more controversial conferences.

Several people got either expelled, or disciplined, after discovering that Vax Mail (for VMS 5.5) has a massive security hole. You can place short scripts directly into the subject line. Since the subject line is displayed on receipt of the message (by default, though this can be switched off), it was possible to send e-mail viruses. Many a logic bomb, and a proto-Melissa floated round the wires. The admins at the UG/PoW never fixed the hole, the years I was there, despite knowing about it and knowing that it was being exploited. They considered it easier just to restore off backup tapes, where necessary.

The joys of spamming was rapidly introduced to every other PoWCON user, when I, along with Paul Walker and a whole bunch of other nerdy types, founded the Telefantasy Society, and thoroughly spammed every conference going. It made absolutely bugger all difference to membership, proving conclusively that spam is useless. Our promotion posters were the only student posters in colour, at the time. The other posters were grotty, b&w, and often looked like they'd been done in crayon at 3am after a drinking binge. Within a month, though, EVERY student society had quality work posted up everywhere. It was amazing!

The Telefantasy Society was Paul Walker's brainchild, and largely his doing. My input consisted largely of bringing in Sapphire & Steel videos, getting Carole Anne Ford (Susan, from Dr Who) and Mary Tamm (Romana I, from Dr Who) to become honorary members, and being a general pain in the neck, the rest of the time. At one point, we seriously considered remaking "The Prisoner" on campus, and/or a Doctor Who story, but exams (more than anything) interfered with that. Why couldn't they just give us the degrees, and let us do IMPORTANT stuff with our time?!?!

The only other things that were remotely significant at UG were that the Student Union building was built on such a steep incline, that there was a real possibility of it colliding with the town of Trefforest.; the rain was so bad that umbrellas were not so much waterproof as bullet-proof; and finally, the bus that ran to Hay-on-Wye.

(For those not familiar with it, Hay-on-Wye is a White Hole, linked to L-Space. There are something like 24 second-hand book dealers there, some operating out of 3-story barns, and one out of the local castle. It's the largest collection of books, ranging from ancient manuscripts to hot-off-the-press novels & technical manuals, anywhere in Europe. It's a Book Geek's paradise.)

The idea of a kernel geek surviving the ordeal of UG, never mind surviving in a functional enough state of mind to actually do heavy-duty coding, is a staggering achievement. Dave Jones should be awarded an OBE for that alone!

Linux is useless

[Anonymous Coward]

it was made for grepping gay porn off government harddrives. unless youre into gays and grepping, why dont you C programming fux0rz spend some time on a heterosexual alternative?

slashdot is rotting

[Anonymous Coward]

Let's see... 68 comments, only 10 above 0.

If this were basketball, the trolls would be winning, 58-10.

Re:slashdot is rotting

[Anonymous Coward]

This is slashdot and the trolls are winning 58-10 (well, 65-17 now). WTF does bouncy-ball have to do with this?

Memoirs of a PoWcon user...

[c0mawhite]

Dude, get in contact with me if you read this post.

In the later days of PoWcon, Dave and self were users. This was after the retirement of the VAX and the moving to VMS on alpha.glam.ac.uk (also now long gone).

Curse nostalgia...

Davy Jones?

[Anonymous Coward]

Is Davy Jones not the incarnation of the bottom of the sea?

"with the stable 2.4 kernel.."

[lazy_greenhouse_gas]

Wow, this was too much to handle, I'm still cleaning up from laughtermath.

Dave Jones

[carlos_benj]

I wondered what he'd been doing since the Monkees...

changed his name to david bowie.

[Anonymous Coward]

google search on jone change name to david bowie.

Groovy

[Anonymous Coward]

Ohhhh, Davey is so groovy! I should call George Glass and break up with him.