Slashdot Mirror
Online Greeting Cards Patented
Trailer Trash writes "According to this story at bizreport.com, Hallmark has given in and licensed Tumbleweed Communication Corp's patent for delivery of online documents with e-mail notification. Will the idiots at the patent office never stop? Jeff Smith of Tumbleweed claims to have been granted three patents last year."
I came into work to find my office door bolted shut. Apperantly, the idea of "working" has been patented.
;-)
Although, that's not entirely a bad thing...
Ignore the "p2p is theft" trolls, they're just uninformed
You know this might be the first _good_ stupid patent.
There are few things I dislike more than having some stupid piece of flash animation sent to me by email, or wore notification of said flash animation.
If this Patent stops webisites from getting my mom to send me anymore dancing hamsters, or singing chiefs I will be only too happy.
Next up I want someone to Patent SPAM
OK well tumbleweed put this in your ass and smoke it. I patented YOUR FACE! I not only patented the patenting process but I also patented the patent process and the patent for patenting patent is patent pending. Patenting the Patent pending patenting process is pathologically pathetic so ill leave that up to the RIAA. Permitting a patent pending processing pricky pears and a peter piper picking pickled patented pickled peppers patent patent patent patent patent......
If you are now desensitized to all meaning of that word you know how I feel after all those damn patending decisions. When will the madness end?
And not to be a flame, but is it really that important? What exactly is the real implications of this besides the obvious??
...a system for encapsulating and transporting oxygen and carbon dioxide through an extensive network of branching tubes of diverse sizes.
US Patent Office, here I come!(Next on my list: convince a venture capitalist that my pet rat qualifies as a proof-concept model...)
I demand that all cards transferred via this system that Hallmark is utilizing be transmitted via a private encryption system. If the rights of greeting card artists are blatantly ignored by people who can simply steal these cards upon receiving them, and send them to others without any proper repayment to the cards' creators, what will stop entire underground cartels from springing up and allowing people to share them freely?! I don't care if Hallmark licenses it, they have to work to protect the people how MAKE these things! The little guys! That's who they're here for, right? The GIAA is swiftly working to put a stop to this kind of filthy behavior, by developing a private network that transmits greeting cards in a proprietary .NIP format, but their system won't be in place for another year! We must work to protect the rights of greeting card fashioners the world over, lest all fairness and equality within the internet be lost forever. What's to stop some clod from printing one of these cards that I've fashioned, and giving it to a friend for free? Nothing. And that's just not right. Not at all. I should be paid for every single use of it. I deserve that much, for all the hard work it takes to come up with an illustration of a naked man sitting unawares on a toilet bowl with the caption "Caught You At A Bad Time, Huh?" over the top!
Tsk tsk, such thoughtless copyright violating ... when will people learn?
IAJAM (I Am Just A Monkey), but it just hit me that /must/ publish every thought I ever have to
/business/.
I
protect myself from this slimy patent system we
have, and slimier patent applicants.
I suggest everyone else do the same. Document
everything you think, whether it seems significant
or not. Document the way you wipe your ass; the
way you lift food to your mouth; the way you pick
your nose. Document the method of transferring
thought to a transportable medium.
Fuck! I'm sick of the software
What f*ing box!?!?
Now, this is a significant innovation. I was sitting awake in bed all night worrying about a man-in-the-middle greeting card attack:
-
Alice chooses a Hallmark condolence card, and emails it to Bob on an unsecure link.
- Mallory intercepts the condolence card message and substitutes a novelty insult card. Mallory forwards the message to Bob.
- Bob receives the card, and is tricked into believing that Alice is an insensitive bitch.
- Alice denies sending the card, but Bob doesn't believe her. Their friendship is never quite the same after this.
With a secure greeting card, this could never happen!I'm heading to the patent office to patent greeting cards which use e-ink. I'll be back in a little bit.
Hallmark wants their greeting cards (unlike those of Blue Mountain et. al.) to be SECURE.
* Now, this is a significant innovation. I was sitting awake in bed all night worrying about a man-in-the-middle greeting card attack:
* Alice chooses a Hallmark condolence card, and emails it to Bob on an unsecure link.
* Mallory intercepts the condolence card message and substitutes a novelty insult card. Mallory forwards the message to Bob.
* Bob receives the card, and is tricked into believing that Alice is an insensitive bitch.
* Alice denies sending the card, but Bob doesn't believe her. Their friendship is never quite the same after this.
With a secure greeting card, this could never happen!
This is a non-issue, because bob wouldn't actually *read* the card...
* Bob check mail
* Bob gets message with subject "Alice has sent you an electric greeting card"
* Bob groans.
* Bob knows he can't get away with not clicking on the enclosed link, because the card web site notifies the sender when the card was "read". That's why Mallory is still pissed at him.
* Bob opens message, clicks on enclosed link.
* Bob's browser opens in new window. He is forced, under great pain, to wait while a page with an animated gif of some sort draws on the screen. As soon as the midi file starts playing, he knows the page is fully loaded and Alice gets the notification that he read the message.
* Bob closes browser window on second note of midi file. Card goes unread.
* Bob hit reply to sender in email. Composes some hack response like, "I just read the card you sent me. Thank you so much for brightening my day. You are so sweet!"
* Bob sends reply.
* Bob deletes original message.
The above series of events can happen in less than 30 seconds. Honest.
Lastly,
* Alice gets warm fuzzy feeling.
* Bob gets laid.
Software Wars