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A Warrior's Programming Language
BlackNova writes "Var'aq is "a speculative glance at what a programming language on a Klingon computer system would look like." Make sure to read the Preliminary Specification and the Proposed Extensions."
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"What is this talk of 'release'? Klingons do not make software 'releases'. Our software 'escapes,' leaving a bloody trail of designers and quality assurance people in its wake."
kapla"
Top 12 things likely to be overheard if you had a Klingon programmer in your company.
12. Specifications are for the weak and timid!
11. This machine is a piece of GAGH! I need dual Pentium processors if I am to do battle with this code!
10. You cannot really appreciate Dilbert unless you've heard it read in the original Klingon.
9. Indentation?! -- I will show you how to indent when I indent your skull!!
8. What is this talk of "release"? Klingons do not make software "releases." Our software "escapes," leaving a bloody trail of designers and testers in its wake.
7. Klingon function calls do not have "parameters"- they have "arguments"- and they ALWAYS WIN THEM!
6. Debugging? Klingons do not debug. Our software does not coddle the weak.
5. I have challenged the entire testing team to a Bat-Lath contest. They will not concern us again.
4. A TRUE Klingon Warrior does not comment his code
3. By filing this incident report you have challenged the honour of my family. Prepare to die!
2. You question the worthiness of my code?! I should kill you where you stand!
1. Our users will know fear and cower before our software. Ship it! Ship it and let them flee like the dogs they are!
Krispy Cream is people