Slashdot Mirror
US Army to Try Out New, Anime-based Uniforms
PenguinRadio writes "This is being reported in a few places, most notably USA Today which has an article about the US Army teaming up with MIT to develop a new nanotechnology-based outfit for our soldiers that can detect bio hazards, injury, and other funky things. The 5 year, $50 million grant also wants to look at bending light around the uniform to create some sort of invisibility." CNET has another story. The Institute for Soldier Nanotechnologies has its own web page, of course.
Hmm.. What does Anime have to do with any of this? Are Slashdot editors hoping that female soldiers will be outfitted with scantily-clad, breast-hugging Anime style getups?
We Metal Gear fans have long known that stealth camo and nanomachines became standard equipment for FoxHound operatives in 1995. "Find... Big Boss! Destroy... Outer Heaven!"
...also wants to look at bending light around the uniform to create some sort of invisibility
Finally, the goodness of a second-class Arnold movie makes it's way into the military!! Now it's just a matter of time until we're cuttin' peoples heads off with extendible boomerang blade thingies ala P2.
There are 01 types of people in this world. Those that understand binary, and me.
The army is gearing up for the Predator invasion if we too are invisable we shall have the upperhand... Buwahahahaha
"All I can tell the "lesser of two evils" folks is that if they keep voting for evil, they'll keep getting evil."-Lp.org
Put me down for $100 on MIT for the 2007 NCAA torney.
-- Nobody should take away Microsoft's freedom to innovate, particularly since they haven't used it yet
...Besides, if they were really ANIME-based, these suits would be easily pilotable by 13 year-olds.
In fact, they'd probably be pilotable ONLY by 13-year olds, as the result of some plot twist!
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It's anime-like because, in combat, the two sides will simply hang back and stare at each other for a while. Then both will fire off everything they have with explosive fury. When the dust settles... both sides will still be standing, but the collateral damage to the area will be _huge_ and there will be massive civilian casualties.
Oh, wait, that's how modern military actions are now. Alas.
A.
Supercharged shoes could release energy when soldiers jump, propelling them over a 20-foot wall.
-What happens after the wall, is there also a parachute, or are you just supposed to land after your 20 foot fall.
Micoreactors could detect bleeding and apply pressure.
-So that the enemies crackers can cut off circulation in battle to help their side
Light-deflecting material could make the suit blend in with surroundings.
-So that the number of soilders hurt or killed by friendly fire increases.
MIT's research centers had been working on nanotechnology ideas long before getting involved with the Army, but not with military applications in mind.
-Isn't that how it always happens, soon the MIT reasercher will make a peace time achievment award.
"The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows." -Aristotle Onassis
What we need to do is apply this to my room-mates clothes... create "soft--and almost invisible--clothing" that keep the biohazards in!!!
tell me - how are little soldiers actually used? and how little are they? Are we looking at a shrinking ray? or just recruiting wee folk from the Irish American community?
You need to put your SCV's to gather minerals and vespene gas. That's all that's needed, really
Kilroy was here!
"I can't give you a brain, so I'll give you a diploma" - The Great Oz (blatently stolen sig)
In fact, they'd probably be pilotable ONLY by 13-year olds, as the result of some plot twist!
But only if the suit turns out to be your enemy.
Actually the light bending will be incorporated into the very skin of the soldiers, with a light mask to cover the eyes. They will have to fight naked of course, but this is causing the Joint Chiefs to rethink allowing women on the battlefield.
Of course, if the light gets bent around the soldier, how will any hit their eyes so they can see?
I have a shirt that can track how many days I've gone without bathing, using a "handsfree background olfactory indicator". High tech stuff, really.
Also, I haven't tried it myself, but I think past the 30-day point it is indeed actually capable of bending light waves. It could probably also melt steel. Though due to the olfactory indicator mentioned above, it isn't exactly what I'd call "invisible"...
Can I have a million dollar grant for this invention? Erm, yeah, I'll understand if you don't want to deliver the check in person.
Bend light? The best we've been able to accomplish around the lab is break wind.
The GOOD news is, every female soldier will now be a 38 DDD.
The bad news is, these suits are NOT proof against suddenly-appearing, demonic phallic tentacles.
--- Jump!! Fire!! Bullet time!! - Lego version of the Matrix
That's when the helicopter comes out of their helmet, and they drift slowly to safety....
oh wait, that was inspector gadget..."go, go, gadget-copter!"
"Facts are meaningless. You could use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true." - Homer Simpson
Well, obviously now soldiers will be allowed to walk around with big, shaggy, turquoise or bright green hair.
--- Jump!! Fire!! Bullet time!! - Lego version of the Matrix
Or worse, he will be killed and we will have to give a primitive weapon to his killer as a trophy and abandon the planet.
science is a religion
People, is this what you want the future to be? More efficient fighting machines and weapons to kill your fellow man? This makes me very angry.
Aren't we already capable enough of killing all life on the entire planet many times over. Nuclear, biological, chemical weapons. You name it, we got it. Do we really need more tools to kill?
Let's channel some money away from the militaries towards making this world a better place. There has already been enough killing. Violence begets violence. At the worse end of the barrel is always a human, a living, thinking person who will end his life because of reasons he may not even completely know!
This might be a good thing from technology point of view, but not from the point of view of the humanity as a whole.
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probably through nuclear fission, so that when you kill one of these "anime warriors" you not only kill him, but his side, your side, a three square mile area around him. So we get about 15 of these, go into enmy territory and split up, let them shoot first and *poof* we win( didn't they try that in WWII?)
"The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows." -Aristotle Onassis
give me $50 million, i'll show you how to disappear
"i can never say no to anyone but you"
We're gonna make soldiers so incredibly expensive that we can't afford very many.
Then we'll send them into battle, whereupon they'll be vastly outnumbered by hoards of people carrying rocks.
Last words? "Ah... now here's a problem we didn't consider..."
We've sent our soldiers into Afghanistan with camouflage uniforms. Great idea, right?
They're GREEN camouflage uniforms.
Just you wait. When we decide WE want anime-based uniforms you'll be seeing a bunch of Canucks running around at super-slow speeds with blue streaks blazing behind them to let the enemy know right where to shoot.
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Bleah! Heh heh heh... BLEAH BLEAH!!! Ha ha ha ha...
The real problem being when they are sneaking stealthily by the enemy and someone's AIM Buddy Alert goes off.
You know what?
So, you want to see your room-mate naked all the time?
These prisms are expected to weight 1 tonne each, hence the powered armor for the soldier so they can carry them. Also, guns are a problem because you have to exit the prism unit before you can fight - miraculously become visible behind the evil dictator before you shoot him.
Where is my $50mil?
What's the difference between an MIT mechanical engineer and and MIT civil engineer?
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.
.
.
Mechanical engineers build weapons, and civil engineers build targets.
Ha!
The military is going to hire Cobra Commander!
"Destroy science and religion. Science would re-emerge exactly the same; but not religion." - Penn Jillette, paraphrased
Put me down for $100 on MIT for the 2007 NCAA torney.
or the Darwin Awards...
Don't trust a bull's horn, a doberman's tooth, a runaway horse or me.
Unfortunately, with the new inviso-suit you have to de-cloak in order to fire your weapon, so there are still a few kinks to be worked out.
Oh, and does it run Linux?
Mmmmmm... Bold, yet refreshing!