He Writes Back

Paul writes: "This guy actually replies to the spam he gets. Read some of the replies and you'll love this guy's wit. I love the one about the peroxide myself. The favorites, top 20, and "My Buddy Kutty" sections are good places to start."

Comments

Here's an older collection of spam responses

[cecil36]

Shifman Is a Moron Spammer

I think we all can enjoy another good laugh at the idiocity of one Bernard Shifman. I'm surprised he was still spamming as of 2/16.

while you're waiting for this /.ing to end...

[kalinh]

why don't you sit back and listen to the soothing sounds of http://spamradio.com/.

It's a work of art really. A digitized voice reading spam over royalty free ambient soundscapes.

Re:Why?

[shogun]

Whats even more fun is to put HTML tags in your request, ie:

http://spammer.com/<font color=Red size=+3>IDoNotWantToBuyYourLameProducts</fon t>

Then when they go and view their web log reports with a web-based reporting/analysis tool it stands out a little. You could probably be creative with javascript popups etc too..

Re:i replied to spam once

[hyyx]

Exactly. I agree totally. This guy is making light of spam, which is good, but he is feeding the spammers. A lot of spammers are not that smart, and if even a small amount of people reply, it is doing nothing but to make it look like the spamming industry actually has any business interests or profit.

John Hargrave used to do a similar schtick

[ted_nugent]

If you enjoy such pointless but entertaining letters, check out Zug.

He writes letters to spammers, but also to companies, which is a little more fun because they usually respond at least once.

How I deal with telemarketing

[doublem]

I do one of three things when one of them calls. Usually I just demand to be put on their "Do not call" list, request a copy of their call policy (Required by US law to send it to me) and hang up.

If I'm feeling playful, I pretend to be a 80 year old man who is hard of hearing and afraid of technology, a character I perfected during a high school play years ago. (Played Selsdon in "Noises Off")

If I'm in a REALLY good mood (Got laid within the last 24 hours) I go into my "Fundamentalist Souther Baptist Minister" routine and try to convert the telemarketer.

"Have you found Jesus my child?"

The sad thing is, they stay on the line during this routine. I have had plenty of people hang up with the first tow methods, but every one of them had hung on during the third until I hung up. The current record is 45 minutes.

:)

Re:this reminds me of a trick for telemarketers

[cyberformer]

You are hurting the annoying company, in the sense that for a while you take their minimum wage slaves away from harassing other innocent people. This means that either:

• The company will have to hire more salesdroids, reducing its profit but providing a job for someone otherwise unemployable, or
  
  
• The salesdroid is unable to call as many people during her shift, which reduces the companies sales but benefits all the people who would otherwise have been harassed.

There are more constructive ways to fight evil corporations, but if you have a vindictive personality (and most of us do) this can be satisfying.