Slashdot Mirror
Microsoft To Start Running Anti-Unix Ads
PhreakinPenguin writes: "According to this article on News.com, Microsoft and Unisys are preparing to pay for a slew of ads to 'undermine' Unix with the theme of 'We have the way out.' They are apparently hyping that Unix is an expensive money trap. One ad states, 'No wonder Unix makes you feel boxed in. It ties you to an inflexible system. It requires you to pay for expensive experts. It makes you struggle daily with a server environment that's more complex than ever.' Unisys is apparently putting up $25 million and Microsoft won't say how much they're chipping in but you can bet it's more than Unisys." As the article notes, this comes after floundering attempts to sell (through Dell, Compaq and Hewlett-Packard) the high-end Unisys machines pushed by these ads.
I'd rather pay for expensive experts than hand over $4 for a six pack of MCSEs.
It would be nice to see Sun and IBM, etc.. to start running some straight on anti-microsoft ads. I do like Sun's comment
"As for Unix being 'inflexible,' 'expensive,' and 'complex,' we feel those are terms much better suited to the closed and proprietary world of Windows."
Now if they will only put that into an ad of their own, that whole reply, sums up this marketing campaine very nicly.
It is now official - Netcraft has confirmed: Windows is dying
Yet another crippling bombshell hit the beleaguered Microsoft Corporation when recently IDC confirmed that Windows accounts for a declining fraction of all Internet servers. Coming on the heels of the latest Netcraft survey which plainly states that Windows has lost more market share, this news serves to reinforce what we've known all along. Windows is collapsing in complete disarray, as further exemplified by failing dead last in the recent Sys Admin comprehensive networking test.
You don't need to be Kreskin to predict Windows's future. The hand writing is on the wall: Windows faces a bleak future. In fact there won't be any future at all for Windows because Windows is dying. Things are looking very bad for Windows. As many of us are already aware, Windows continues to lose market share. The green ink from declining sales flows like a river of blood. Windows XP is the most endangered of them all, having lost more of its core developers than any other operating system.
Due to the troubles of Microsoft, abysmal sales of Windows and other products and so on. Recently, Slashdot reported a possible removal of Windows from the market by Microsoft. This only serves to confirm the fact that Windows is unwanted, doomed to be passed around like a harelip orphan from one foster parent to another.
All major surveys show that Windows has steadily declined in market share. Windows is very sick and its long term survival prospects are very dim. If Windows is to survive at all it will be among OS hobbyist dabblers. Windows continues to decay. Nothing short of a miracle could save it at this point in time. For all practical purposes, Windows is dead.
Fact: Windows is dead
my $bs = "No wonder Unix makes you feel boxed in. It ties you to an inflexible system. It requires you to pay for expensive experts. It makes you struggle daily with a server environment that's more complex than ever";
$bs =~ s/unix/microsoft/i;
$bs =~ s/complex/nonsense/i;
$bs =~ s/expensive/clueless/i;
print $bs;
... hopefully accompanied by a massive thud as all those flying Windows XP people drop from the sky.
Apparently MS doesnt know thier own pricing for calling thier Tech Support with an incident?
"If you have done 6 impossible things this morning, why not round it off with breakfast at Milliways" -- hhgg
In the long run, we're all dead. -- John Maynard Keynes
as opposed to expensive idiots?
I drank what? -- Socrates
Well, web servers are a minor part of an enterprises computing needs. I mean, no one does actual business over the web, right?
Sun responded to the campaign in a statement.
"Sun still does not see Microsoft as a real threat in
the datacenter market where reliability, availability,
serviceability and security are key," [snip]
"We are all about customer satisfactionability, system
uptimeability, and cracker stopability", added Scott McCowboyNeal.
--
Yes. I used to be a lowly unix sysadmin, but I have taken the MCSE exams, and now I enjoy an environment that lends itself to gaming with the greatest of ease. Thank you, Microsoft!
Well, better yet, switch to GNU, because we all know what that's not.
"Unix may be unflexible and proprietary--but Gnu's Not Unix."
well, in some countries, Coke is better for you than the local water supply, so it's really not such a bad thing on that level.
FADE FROM BLACK, a DISTRESSED MAN in a business suit is sitting across from a RELAXED MAN wearing a tie and dress shirt.
DISTRESSED MAN: "Yeah, I had to get out of the office. The servers have been down all morning, and our clients are getting really upset with out excuses. They keep telling us to reboot, and they've been rebooting the servers, but the fact is, we're losing business. Losing money."
RELAXED MAN sips coffee: "Mmm-hmmm"
DISTRESSED MAN: "I don't know how much more of this we can take. It's a dog eat dog world out there. But I guess this is just part of doing business... I mean, computers go down. That's life in the office."
RELAXED MAN smiles and sets his coffee cup down, looking down: "Well... not really"
DISTRESSED MAN: "Yeah-ha... like your systems don't ever go down".
RELAXED MAN smiles and leans forward: "No. We use Linux".
FADE TO BLACK, title: Linux. Because Time is Money
--
Evan
"$30 for the One True Ring. $10 each additional ring!" -- JRR "Bob" Tolkien
I guess considering the crappy performance of their servers in the marketplace, they now have to bad mouth the competition.
Thank god that all of us here at Slashdot don't ever badmouth or try to undermine Microsoft. Those bastards.
Where are we going and why am I in this handbasket?
"You will never see a blue screen of death with Unix".
What about "Our technical support engineers won't tell you to reinstall everything every time you call us."?
Something in my dinner must have been spoiled last night, becasue this dream isn't even funny.
Microsoft, the monopolist, the Marquis de "lock-in", the ace of audits, the prince of product activation, the squire of "We don't need no stinkin' interoperability", is running ads warning IT shops about painting themselves into corner?
Damn!
At least the whine about expensive experts makes sense. Anybody dumb enough to buy this pitch is sure to feel uncomfortable around people who know what they're doing.
:-)
Both the Republican and Domocrat parties have announced their intention to run "anti-other-guy" ads during the upcoming election campaign process.
A spokesman for the Republican Party had this to say: "Microsoft is a well-known innovator, and the Republicans are going to follow their innowations and give them all the visible support we can. We're not sure how these "mud-slinging" ads will work, but hey, if Microsoft does it, it must be OK, right?"
Diane Feinstein issued this statement: "Fuck you! Fuck America! I piss on the Bill of Rights! What...Anti-Opponent Ads? Oh, yeah, well, we just want to point out how the Republicans are not as sensitive as we are to modern day issues. If you'd like more information, send your check to..."
--
"Outlook not so good." That magic 8-ball knows everything! I'll ask about Exchange Server next.
It ties you to an inflexible system.
I know you are but what am I?
It requires you to pay for expensive experts.
I know you are but what am I?
It makes you struggle daily with a server environment that's more complex than ever
I know you are but what am I?
I'm thinking of something similar to those car ads where owner one keeps asking owner two if the model he has, has same features.
They could have a purple Mercedes or some other obviously nice quality vehicle. standing next to a Yugo with all the body panels and doors in mismatched Microsoft colors. Even just a picture of the two vehicles in profile, side by side, with the line "which one would you want?"
for the extra twist of the knife the drivers in the Yugo can squeel that "you don't have to know what you're doing when you own one of these".
Heck I right now freely give Sun the permission to use this idea. No Cost. No such permission is granted to anyone promoting Microsoft.
"It is a greater offense to steal men's labor, than their clothes"
Ok, find me a windows operating system that will scale to 64 procs and 128 gigs of memory....Now go find me one that scaled to 512 procs and 1 terrabyte of memory. I'm waiting as I'm dying to play return to castle wolfenstein on it.
An Education is the Font of All Liberty
I have to assume you either fell through a synchrotron beam this morning or your coffee pot was too close to the uranium plasma frabulator. Foo help us if you're serious. Unless you really like to watch a windows box try to count past 4.
Anyway, I view these ad's as Microsoft caving. They obviously trying to break into the "big iron" market. To bad M$! Unix will be pretty much impossible to replace.
--- Think of it as evolution in action ---
Don't like Slashdot, fine. But come on tshak - GROW UP! This is Slashdot! These are largely subjective issues, and we know that Slashdot will exaggerate every possible flaw with MS commercials. This strategy is nothing unique to Slashdot. Leave Slashdot and stop supporting Linux if you don't like it. Stop looking like a brainless reactionary zealot. I'm telling you, the Slashdot folks laugh when posts like this appear on Slashdot.
When I get some time I'm going to figure out how to reproduce it, then write a little killwin2k script. Then, next time the guy sitting next to me on the airplane won't turn his sound down while I'm trying to sleep, I'll just whip out my little Infrared Packets of Death!
Note to ACs: I usually delete AC replies without reading them. If you want to talk to me, log in.
Well, Don't do that then!
I think someone should publish competing ads.
Call comes in to computer room. "Servers are down, what's wrong". Someone runs to back room, where two monkies are grooming each other. Screams at them "get back to work". Monkies run into computer room, pushing reset buttons on blue-screen boxed (with a treat dropping down for each reset).
Fade out: Buy Microsoft, so your IT department can be run by monkies too.
Grace Hopper didn't need no steenkin kernel. Real geek women used toggle switches and patchcords. None of this OS handholding.
You'd have to make sure it crashes every few hours.
"Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but not their own facts."
How about this, Sun should just make a TV spot that consists of 10 to 20 seconds of a BSoD and then pay the networks to run it immediatly following any Microsoft ad.
"All your servers are belong to us"
Fabio - Sumare/Sao Paulo/Brazil/South America/Earth/Solar System/Milky Way/Universe
http://www.morroida.com.br
I wanted to get my MCSE (MineSweeper Consultant, Solitarie Expert), but I sucked at MineSweeper..(Micro$oft should rename minsweeper to BSOD sweeper, hit a mine and "boom", BSOD..
... here's the way to kill off Unix:
...
... if they support Unix we inflict financial pain on them. We also make applications and we are never going to make applications for Unix nor will we ever include Unix and mixed platform training in our certification programs. We own the future and our future does not include Unix. If you are not with us you are against us. Terrorists use Unix and we don't. We are an American corporation and not an un-American, piracy supporting, hacker terrorist, old-fashioned and expensive foreign command line corporation. And in conclusion:
"Unix is old and unreliable. If you can find a high-priced Unix expert to maintain your system you're in luck because thanks to our efforst there are practically *no Unix experts left*. Everyone has become expert in the low cost reliable and new systems offered by Microsoft. Have you ever seen an MCSE who konws anything about Unix?? Is there a USCE - no there isn't. And which is newer and has more graphics and buttons and stuff an MCSE manual or Unix expert manual? We rest our case
We make server OSes and dominate several large hardware makers
YOU ARE EITHER FOR US OR AGAINST US (AND AGAINST AMERICA AND FREEDOM). Oh yeah we are monopolists and we have decided Unix is dead - what more evidence do you need that it *is* dead?"
Thank you.
So Unix is inflexible. I take that to mean that Microsoft's products are incredibly flexible. So they'd have no problem disassociating Internet Explorer and all the other "value added" software, and releasing a lite version of Windows, right?
Right?
Hello?
SIGFEH
into a corner, make sure it's our corner.
"Hey, if Unix is too hard for us geniuses here at Microsoft, don't you think it's too hard for you, too."
We see a small datacenter, with a couple geeks staffing it. Two large Italian Tony-Soprano type men walk in.
Geek: Can I help you?
Guys: No, we was just admiring this fine setup youse has here.
Geek: OK...
Guys: You know, it would be a shame if anything was to happen to this place...youse has such nice computers here.
Geek: Um...are you threatening me? Because I can call Security if you are.
Guys: No, no, we was just observing what a shame it would be if something bad happened to this here datacenter. Of course, that would never happen...especially if youse guys upgrade to Windows XP.
Geek: Wait a minute...are you from Microsoft?
Guys: In fact, we have to report to Mr. Gates soon...we can tell him for you that youse wants to upgrade. How many licenses does youse guys need?
Geek: We don't need Windows XP. Our current setup runs fine and upgrading would cost an obscene amount of money.
Guys: (Crack knuckles) Yeah, it would be a shame if anything were to happen to youse guys and these fine computers...
Fade to black, displaying text on the screen:
Tired of strong-arm upgrade tactics?
Step out of the dark, seedy world of Microsoft and into the light.
UNIX. The friendly alternative.
And of course, there's potential for a whole series of ads here...
Not that I'm a big fan of their software solutions, but Novell has a new video which may or may not (I don't know for sure either way) become a running commercial ad. It's very amusing and carries the sentiment of virtually every geek out there. Might be a nice thing to mention to the bosses next time they come up with the "great idea" of digging themselves further into Microsoft products.
-- "Government is the great fiction through which everybody endeavors to live at the expense of everybody else."
Fun fun fun, here's my counter ad: Some guy is painting, painting painting with purple paint until he has painted himself into a corner. Then, all he does it step on to the WALL (defying gravity) and finish painting that corner while walking sideways on the wall.
Then flash some slogan like:
"We don't see problems, we see solutions"
"Your superior intellect is no match for our puny weapons!"
Your datacenter is the lifeblood of your company. And you don't want to hire an expensive expert to administer it? Fool!
A Government Is a Body of People, Usually Notably Ungoverned
The new marketing strategy mentions this quote:
"No wonder Unix makes you feel boxed in. It ties you to an inflexible system. It requires you to pay for expensive experts. It makes you struggle daily with a server environment that's more complex than ever,"
Now, replace Unix with "Windows", and what do you get? A quote that makes a lot more sense, that's what you get. Quick, what are some phrases that describes Windows servers? Inflexible, requires expensive MCSE people, simple to fuck up, complex to keep running right. Microsoft had better come up with something better than this if they want "big" system admins to migrate to Windows 2000 Datacenter, mainly because they trust Unix, and they know it works; when Microsoft tells these guys that there stuff doesn't work, and that Microsoft's stuff will, they aren't exactly gaining much trust. I say let Microsoft kill themselves; the more steps like this that they make, and it might just happen.
"It [Unix] requires you to pay for expensive experts..." So this means Windows experts are cheap? According to Microsoft's own logic, MCSE is a commodity (cheap labor) market. Attention Computer Science students: Adjust your course selection and career plans accordingly.
This would be great at a ms demonstration show. Remember what happened when Bill Gates demonstrated windows98 in front of 40,000 people in Chicago and it crashed. :-)
I can see it all now. Bill Gates is demonstrating the supperior scalability of MS-SQL-Server.NET and someone like yourself with a palm crashes it and a blue screen shows in front of tech reporters, CIO's, lots and lots of potential customers. If this wont scare the shit of phb's then I don't know what will.
http://saveie6.com/