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Wil Wheaton to get new role on 'Enterprise'
hisholiness writes "It seems that a major underground letter writing campaign has secured Wil Wheaton (ST:TNG's Wesley Crusher) a recurring role the current 'Enterprise' series. According to his website, he states, "The details are still being worked out, but basically what they plan to do is have Wesley use his Time Traveler abilities to move through space and time to the NX-01. He'll be written more like the dark, troubled Wesley of 'The First Duty' and 'Final Mission', and less like the gee-whiz Wesley of days gone by." He continues that he will be in 8 of 22 new episodes over the next two seasons."
April Fools jokes for nerds.
Stuff that will never happen.
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C'mon Wil, we know you're out there... We know you're reading. Come on, say something funny. Come on... Please?
"Goodness, how did you people live long enough to invent tools?" -Hobbes (the tiger, not the philosopher)
And there was much trolling, and it was lame.
And the moderators did moderate, and they did moderate well.
And the peasants rejoiced.
Huzzah!
using namespace slashdot;
troll::post();
It seems that a major underground letter writing campaign has secured Wil Wheaton (ST:TNG's Wesley Crusher) a recurring role the current 'Enterprise' series.
Now we know what he does with all his free time.
"And like that
What will you do when you come back tomorrow and it's all still crap...
I am not a number! I am a man! And don't you
From his site:
/.'ed. You wish that you never even registered that domain...
:-)
here's the bad news: the entire site has crashed, and we can't figure out why.I don't know when the crash happened, or why, because I was offline all weekend, but I'm working on it. I suppose that if you can read this, it means things are working again
Just wait till it get's done getting
I'm not a prophet or a stone-age man,
I'm just a mortal with potential of a super man.
oh nonsense...
we know Wil still harbors Wesley Crusher fantasies involving everything from being given the vulcan neck pinch to having a gaggle of tribbles on the bed.
aw man, that got WAY too graphic.
but I'm certain that Wil probably came up with this idea ALL on his own. He's a craft guy. Not that the SLASHDORK editors don't have mad pull in the internet world...some would consider them minor deities!
Ahhhh yes. April Fools.
In the future, I would want to not be isolated from my friends in the Space Station.
I've got an idea. Lets BLAME TACO for all these dumb jokes. Ok, so even if it isn't all taco's fault we all blame him. Then taco gets mad at the rest of the nerds and tries to beat them up. But then Cowboy Neal just ends up sitting on taco, crushing his rib cage and killing him. The rest of the nerds are so upset that they decide they can't go on, so they throw themselves off the top of the exodus building. This causes a massive earth quake that shakes the exodus building so badly it completely destroys all of the slashdot servers, causing the end of all these stupid april fools day jokes!
OMFG, yet another unbelievable joke headline. I mean, this is about as likely to happen as, say, ummm... telling us Captain Kirk is going to host a Japanese cooking show. Sheesh.
If there are two things you can always count on in Star Trek, they would have to be guest appearances by characters from previous Star Trek shows and time travel. At this point I wouldn't be surprised to see an episode of Enterprise where we learn that Wesley picked up Kes from Voyager and settled down on a remote planet in the Enterprise timeline, only to be called back into action when Khan wakes up sooner than he was supposed to and starts wreaking havoc with the space-time continuum, or some such nonsense.
All stories will be read by the editor before adding any comments such as "this has serious ramifications for quantum computing"
Editoral budget expanded to allow for the additional 3.2 seconds required to click the spell check button
When people e-mail CmdrTaco with a concern, complaint, or question, autorespond that says, "Fuck off. I run this site, you're just a loser." will be changed to, "Thank you for your feedback. We'll take your input into consideration of this important issue and let you know of any decisions."
Editors now only have infinity minus one moderation points
April Fools jokes permanently stopped
Robotiq.com is heavily tested on animals
In other news:
/.ters have become angry and are angry and have expressed that they are not going to take it anymore. They have refused to post and when posting have made sure the site operators are aware that enuff is enuff.
In a dramatic twist, Slashdot a "geek" news site, turned the tables on would-be Anonymous Cowards and Trolls, posting inflamatory "news" articles and other mischeivous April 1st pranks - in the very spirit that they have encouraged moderators to trounce in times past.
Many
I am sure when this is all over, "News for Nerds" will be back and ACs will be posting flamebait and trolls with a vengence.....
Stop going to Wil's site!! My site's parked on the same server...
A bit weird, this... experiencing the Slashdot effect vicariously through Wil Wheaton.
And this is different from other days how?
sulli
RTFJ.
PLEASE GOD NO!!!
Maybe they can have Wesley's girlfriend be Britney Spears, but she can have red hair, and she can be a mind-reading prostitude who has some sort of special psychic bond with large rodants. She could go around the ship "silently" singing via esp in people's head to lure them into sex ("I'ma Sllllllllave for u, if you pay me 3500 credits"), yet the audience would get the privlage of hearing it.
Wait, that would be silly... Britney can't have red hair! What was I thinking...
Well, other days, Slashdot slowly becomes a waste of your time...
"If he thinks he can hide and run from the United States and our allies, he's sorely mistaken." Bush on bin Laden
Hence the "Enterprise" bit. Yes folks, it's Wil Wheaton Enterprise Edition (for the multi-tiered enterprise)!
These just aren't funny. Next thing you know someone will be posting that George Bush Jr. was elected president, trashed the economy and started WWIII. Sheesh.
=brian
Wil Wheaton is going to be 8 of 22! That's awesome! Man, I just can't get enough of that wacky borg.
microsoftword.mp3 - it doesn't care that they're not words...
So it's more efficient than ever today!
sulli
RTFJ.
but suddenly:
/. Lower your shields and prepare to be boarded.
Received from The Ferrengi at 15:34:49 PM S.D. 04/01/02:
Greetings HooMan! This is DaihmonTaco commanding the
We will exact tribute from you and then be on our way, otherwise we will turn your excuse for a ship into so many pieces of space junk.
Your fighters: 1 vs. theirs: 1259
Choose your action, Captain : (F)lee, (A)ttack, (S)urrender, (I)nfo ?
"His name was Wowbagger the Infinitely Prolonged. He was a man with a purpose."
Archer: What is this boy doing on my bridge?
Wesley: But, sir, I've..
Archer: Shut up Wesley!
Wesley: Awww...somethings never change... *stomp*stomp*stomp*
So where's Will? I know he has a slashdot I.D!
Well, a huge thanks to /. for going along with this. I was able to get FARK on board, as well, and we all had a really good time with this.
I hope everyone takes this in good humor.
Lots of people sent really kind and sweet congratulatory messages, and I actually feel pretty badly for fooling such nice people. All the idiots who thought it was a really good idea to fill my inbox with "Wesley is gonna ruin Enterprise" crap should get a life, and direct any further comments to the nearest brick wall.
I think the greatest highlight of the day came when my mom called Anne, while I was at work.
The conversation went something like this:
Mom: Do you have something to tell me?
Anne: Uh, no.
Mom: Do you have some big news about Wil?
Anne: Oh, that. Uh, what day is today?
Mom: It's Monday!
Anne: Right. And the date is...?
Mom: It's April Fir-- OH! Damn you!
Heh. I guess my dad was all pissed off, stomping around my parent's house because I didn't tell them myself, and he "had to read it on Wil's $%@#!ing website!"