Salon On Computer Forensics
splorf writes "Salon has a
good new article on computer forensics, focusing on Lee Tydalska, a guy in Southern California who started collecting old computers and peripherals as a hobby, and now has a nice business doing data recovery from weird and obsolete media for investigators (or normal users who just need media conversion). "It hardly needs saying why this craft has grown in importance",
the article says, "but if one word sums it up, it's 'Enron-itis'". Oh yes, the #1 outfit in the field is apparently a UK firm called Vogon International. You've got to love this stuff."
Whatever you do, don't contact their "construction fleet". Bad things will happen. The dolphins warned me.
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Offtopic, moded to hell for sure, but I really hate it when people use the ending -itis to signify a disease. It means an inflamation doesn't it? Since when has Enron gotten an inflamation.
"If we're unlucky, he'll want to read us some poetry first."
Ooh, a sarcasm detector. Oh, that's a real useful invention.
Mod that baby up... up stiff! boing!!!
Redundant. why it's Redundant. can you say Redundant. what's Redundant. this is Redundant. oh my, Redundant. wait a minute, Redundant.
I second that.
After doing just that my mailbox got flooded with obscure spam.
You have been warned. I just wish I had some dolphins to warn me as well.
no sig error.
The blackout has arrived.
Who's your Daddy?
Jesus H. Christ!
It's been five minutes since I signed up and already received three -rather obnoxious- spam mails from them.
Somebody stop these bastards!
no sig error.
What the F?
This is lame.
I am more 1337 than j00, BITCH! See your ass in Counter-Strike, fucktard. Be sure to take your diazanon meds if you want to beat me. Lamer!!!
"Enron-itis"? Inflamation of the Enron?
That's actually the complete opposite of what happened. Maybe you should've gone with "Enron Atrophy"
my name is mike hay and i think you all are losers without a life you all are nerds i mean seriously how gay can you get
CmdrTaco is sitting in a tree
-eating my ass
please!
Well, that's this page fucked with NetNanny then.
Will you give it to me real good?
It has come to my attention that the entire Microsoft community is a hotbed of so called 'alternative sexuality,' which includes anything from hedonistic orgies to homosexuality to pedophilia.
What better way of demonstrating this than by looking at the hidden messages contained within the names of some of Windows' most outspoken advocates:
The incredible faggotry of the Microsoft community can also be seen in its software products. Internet Explorer sounds harmless enough, but on the Microsoft 'campus' (obviously a reference to the colleges and universities where these perverts first practiced their filthy homosexual behavior) it is referred to as 'InterNUT Explorer' and refers to a device used to tickle the sensitive area of the scrotum between the testicles.
Microsoft Exchange clearly refers to the 'exchange of bodily fluids' which is of course how these depraved specimens of humanity plan to transmit the AIDS virus to the rest of the world.
As far as William 'Homo' Gates goes, that filthy fudge-packer was actually quoted in Time magazine as saying the following: "Just in terms of allocation of time resources, religion is not very efficient. There's alot more I could be doing on a Sunday morning."
And this isn't a made up troll bullshit either! He actually stated this tripe, which makes it obvious that he is trying to politely say that he's a God-forsaken homo slut!
Furthermore, Mr. Gaytes has been quoted as saying "There won't be anything we won't say to people to try and convince them that our way is the way to go," proving that the fag sympathisers are wrong, and these perverts really do want to recruit our fine young heterosexual boys and turn them into flaming queers like themselves.
Speaking about 'flaming,' who better to point out as a filthy chutney ferret than Microsoft's own self-confessed homo pimp Craig Mundi(e). He has already confessed, nay boasted of his status as a gay sex pusher. To quote from an interview
with Planet IT:
"One of the things we want to do and recognize that there's a market for [is] selling people services on a contract or recurring revenue basis, as opposed to traditional royalty bearing for the one-time shipment"
Selling 'people services,' eh? Is this why you were touching your penis in the cinema, Craig? And charging the other boys money to touch it too?
We should also point out that Craig has been referred to as 'Microsoft's resident Gasbag.' Is there any more doubt? For those fortunate few who aren't aware of the list of homosexual terminology found inside the Windows 'Shared Sauce Philosophy,' a 'Gasbag' is a pervert who gains sexual gratification from having a thin straw inserted into his urethra (or to use the common parlance, 'piss-pipe'), then his homosexual lover blows firmly down the straw to inflate his scrotum. This is, of course, when he's not busy violating the dignity and copyright of small software companies
by gathering together their utilities and combining them en masse into the next version of Windows to further his twisted and manipulative agenda of world domination.
Sick, disgusting antichristian perverts, the lot of them.
In addition, many of the Windows error messages (an 'error message' is the most common way the faggots communicate) are full of homsexual slang. 'This program has performed an illegal operation' is their way of advertising that they have been engaged in the vile practice of sodomy. 'A fatal exception has occurred' is obviously stating that AIDS has claimed the life of another dick sucker. Rather than recognizing that the fag was properly punished for his deviant behavior, Microsoft-loving queers suggests giving a 'three finger salute' when this happens. Needless to say, this gesture of sympathy involves inserting three fingers into your rectum and farting loudly.
Another group of Windows anal violators, going by the code name 'Windows Update' ( ) encourage users to 'download' (receive into their rectums) 'service packs' (also known as 'fudge packs') and 'device drivers' (some sort of mechanical penis, I suspect).
The fags have even invented special tools to aid their faggotry! The program Outlook Express is an anagram of 'Super Sex Tool OK,' which obviously is an endorsement of all kinds of sick behaviors. And obviously PowerPoint is a motorized device for penetrating a virgin anal sphincter.
More evidence is in the fact that Windows users say how much they love 'My Computer.' They sometimes go so far as to say that all new Windows users (who are in fact just innocent heterosexuals indoctrinated by the gay propaganda) should use this icon. The correct spelling of this phrase can again be found in the 'Shared Sauce Philosophy.'
It is actually 'My cum pooter,' an endearing term used by dominant fags for their queer-love
partners. In no other system do users boast of frequently having their rectums pumped full of semen, then farting to expel the jism in a fine mist.
Other areas of the system also show Windows' inherit gayness. For example, people are often told of the 'C: prompt' but how many innocent heterosexual Linux users know what this actually means. The answer is shocking: Seek colon, prompt - a request given by a faggot to his partner when he desires immediate, deep penetration of his ass!
Even the icon 'Recycle Bin' originally referred to a homosexual practice. 'Recycle Bin' of course refers to the popular gay practice of using a young boy's anus as a repository for semen. Shortly after one disgusting faggot spews a load of hot jism into the boy's ass, another queer will lick the 'Shared Sauce' back out of the 'Recycle Bin'.
To summarise: Windows is gay. 'Microsoft' is the graphical description of the state of a fag's penis after he has spewed a load of hot sperm into his gay lover's mouth or rectum. And
I must admit, I was wondering if it was just a slow, groggy Monday in the US, or what... it seemed like there were a LOT fewer comments this morning, expecially ones being modded up to my +3 filter.
Then I remembered, it's the Great Slashdot Blackout week. Since I sorta-kinda agree with the organizers on principle, I'm not going to post quality comments this week... besides, at 50 Karma, I'm more afraid of being modded DOWN than up.
Hence why I am posting as AC... in all likelihood nobody is even going to read this.
So enjoy the lite week; I hope all the participants stick to their guns.
you have to break a few eggs...
Beauty is truth, truth beauty. That is all ye need to know on Earth, besides TCP/IP.