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The Creamy Center of the Atom

Posted by ryuzaki0 on from the but-is-it-nougat dept.

There's a funny article on SatireWire with a light hearted view of the joys at the center of the atom. Better then a Crackerjack box.

14 of 108 comments (clear)

  1. Then? by JacobO · · Score: 4, Interesting

    I know this is not exactly on topic but this is something I am really sick of... why write "then" when you mean "than"? Do you people really say "then" in that context? Or perhaps you really mean something was better, and _then_ became a Crackerjack box?

    Ok, rant over.

    1. Re:Then? by PurpleBob · · Score: 3, Troll

      The idea of not being allowed to end a sentence with a preposition came from misguided scholars who thought English should be like Latin. The sentence structure of English means it makes perfect sense to end a sentence with a preposition. People who tell you otherwise are people who enjoy appearing intelligent. These are also the people who will arbitrarily turn adjectives into adverbs ("I feel badly") because it sounds more grammatical.

      When you criticise the grammar of someone criticizing grammar using a false grammar rule and misspell "grammar" at the same time, does that mean you have to send a case of beer to Taco?

      --
      Win dain a lotica, en vai tu ri silota
    2. Re:Then? by Starship+Trooper · · Score: 3
      ("I am really sick of" -> "of which I am really sick", etc.)

      "Excuse me, where is the library at?"
      "Here at Hahvahd, we never end a sentence with a preposition."
      "O.K. Excuse me, where is the library at, *asshole*?"

      --
      Loneliness is a power that we possess to give or take away forever
  2. "you're not a winner. Try again." by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny


    In early 1946, Walton was thrilled to discover a decoder ring and secret message inside a carbon atom. After four days of painstaking work, he finally deciphered the message: "Sorry," it read, "you're not a winner. Try again."

    That sounds so much like an MS EULA it seriously makes you wonder :)

  3. Funny Article To Spawn New Researchers by totallygeek · · Score: 5, Interesting
    You know, this type of website can be extremely helpful in rebuilding interest in particle physics. I remember when in college (I was a physics major), we asked around why people choose to work in physics. The responses were usually based on something like cartoons, science fiction movies, etc. It was rarely that a person just wanted to get into it from some serious perspective. Making fun of the atom internals might get someone interested in wanting to learn what really is inside the atom.

    --
    Click here or here.
  4. Not as they seem.. by I+Want+GNU! · · Score: 5, Funny

    Atoms made these days are getting worse and worse. They are filling them mostly with air these days so that you get less actual nucleic matter per bag! They do it over time so that you don't notice. In each atom, only a small percentage is actual protons and neutrons, and the rest is air. I think they learned something from the frito-lay company.

    If they expect this "prize" debacle to make me buy again, they should think again. They can expect me to return to buying them once they increase the atoms' density to what it once was.

    But then again, this is the same company donating millions to Senator Hollings to pass legislation that prevents fair use of atoms, so I don't think they are going to change. It's a disgrace, I tell you!

    1. Re:Not as they seem.. by jafuser · · Score: 3, Informative
      Atoms made these days are getting worse and worse. They are filling them mostly with air these days so that you get less actual nucleic matter per bag!
      Sounds like you've got a bad collection of atoms there. For most of us, atoms are generally getting more and more dense as the universe is cooling down... You should probably check with your local atom distributor and make sure they're sending you the cool stuff, and not just a bunch of hot air...
      --
      Please consider making an automatic monthly recurring donation to the EFF
  5. ticket to ride by envelope · · Score: 3, Funny
    I'm still looking for the atom with the gold ticket inside so that I can tour Willy Wonka's factory.

    --

    appended to the end of comments you post, 120 chars
    1. Re:ticket to ride by scott1853 · · Score: 3, Funny

      I wouldn't bother if I were you. Since Charlie's been running the place for the last 30 years, it's gone straight down the crapper. There was a disgruntled Oompa-Loompa incident a few years back, and the Sony lawsuit over Wonka-vision has nearly backrupt the company.

  6. my by falsemover · · Score: 5, Funny

    this confirms my earlier theory, which was also recently corroborated by my two year old son, that toys are in fact the fundmental building blocks of the universe.

    garçons et leurs jouets minuscules

    --
    consider coffee a lubricant that helps one penetrate the coding zone
  7. Linking to the site and the story by jdavidb · · Score: 3, Insightful

    Something's starting to annoy me. When you submit an article and link to a page on another site, you don't have to put the name of the site in a hyperlink. Nearly every person here knows how to get to the main page for the site if they want to, and usually the main page isn't directly relevant to the story.

    Sometimes it seems like people link for every word in the article and it's hard to figure out which link is the one with the story.

    --
    Secession is the right of all sentient beings.
  8. Be careful by Joe+the+Lesser · · Score: 5, Funny

    This is a warning to all you would be chemists!

    Some atoms may have razorblades or poison inside, so if your element isn't wrapped, have your parent check it out.

    Safety first!

    --
    "I only speak the truth"
    Karma: null(Mostly affected by an unassigned variable)
    1. Re:Be careful by aiabx · · Score: 4, Funny

      This is an urban legend. There have been no verified instances of razor blades in atoms.
      -aiabx

      --
      Just this guy, you know?
  9. Re:SatireWire on remote-controlled rats by rmarll · · Score: 4, Funny

    Senator Hollings is the ideal candidate. Not only rat like, and lacking an internal moral compass. He is sure to be easily controlled via electronic device. Failing that. With enough greenbacks I'm sure he'll do anything to succeed in his mission, no matter what the cost.