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Subversive Gifts for New College Students?
openyourmind asks: "A friend's daughter is going to college, and I want to send her a package to help her in school. What kinds of things did you wish you had, but couldn't get, in college? I have already included a lockpick set, a UVmarking pen, and an LED flashlight in her care package. What else? Legal items only, please."
You can always give her a can of Mace and a stun gun, depending on which college she is going to of course.
Do you Gentoo!?
That takes all the fun out of it!
Seriously, if you are looking to get her something that she can't afford on her own, may I suggest a pda? I sure wish I had one, esp to remind me of my projects and homework due.
SCO to Hell
I know it's cliched, but I would've liked to have had one of those handheld tape recorders for lectures. I had no problems listening in high school, but college somehow weakend that ability in me. Being able to take notes after class is a good thing.
For that matter, other things have variable legality, too. For example, mace/pepper spray is against the law in Washington, D.C. (as are handguns.)
DC is obviously much safer because of it! *cough*
mac and cheese... lots of it... 3 years worth is usually good... and gone within the first few months...
What are you planning on your friend's daughter doing, anyway? The included LED light sounds like you're hoping for a career in burglery. What in the world would you be doing with these at college? I went through 4 years of undergrad and 5 more years to get my PhD in CS, but I never found myself having to break into other people's property.
Besides, the gun nuts (no offense intended) at this site will tell you that one of the best ways to get shot and killed is to break and enter on an armed person's premesis.
"I don't know that atheists should be considered citizens, nor should they be considered patriots." - George Bush
Other great ideas would be a Sharp Zaurus SL-5500 with an 802.11b card and the kismet wireless sniffing software. Great for wardriving, or just walking around the dorms, sniffing for open networks.
The other thing you should consider is, are these the values you want to instill in a new college student? Sure hacking, and messing around can be fun, but in today's society, there is a fine line between having fun and breaking the law!
Gururise
After one year in college, my stupid ass got the boot. I had to leave my girl, and I wish someone would've sit me down and said "You will never meet another one like this again. She's beautiful, intelligent, wonderfully cynical, interesting, fun, and for some reason she's in love with your stupid ass. So don't fuck it up. Go to class, study, pay attention. I know that this freedom is going to be knew to you, but you have to remain a bigger person and control it. Just because you can skip class and not get busted by anyone doesn't mean you should. Watch the partying. Tomorrow is going to come no matter what, do you want to be well rested and still have your money or hung over and broke? Pick your friends carefully. Choose those that know how to have a good time but know when it's time to sit up and hit the books. And always remember: Theatre Majors are the epitome of laziness."
Finally, math books without any of that base 6 crap in them.
..I wished I had brought
-A decent pocket knife
-Duct Tape
-A decent baby-sized tool box -- with a good hammer, screwdrivers (flat & philips head), pliers, and all the other little goodies.
-Earplugs
-A beer..err...soda cozy
-Quarters, quarters, and more quarters
Wristbands, This is definitely a must! And a some solvent to wash away the marks they put on your hands with a big black marker.
I assume this person has a computer and that they are now moving away to college (that's what it sounds like). As a college student myself, these are some things which always come in handy:
1) Quarters
Think laundry. You always need quarters. Just send a couple rolls and it should last a while. Make sure you tell her what it is for so she doesn't just go spend it
2) Tools
Such as a hammer, screw drivers, etc. If you live in the dorms, no one has these types of things and they are hard to come by. Anyone who has tools is instantly popular.
3) Network Card?
If this person has used dialup all their life and never had/needed a network card, they will need one now to get online while at campus.
There is a lot more, you will find many more suggestions from other posters.
It's not a matter of 'can't get', it's a matter of 'can't afford' or 'can't get to the store' or 'didn't think to buy'. Ignoring traditional gender roles, what would be really useful for college:
4-in-1 Screwdriver. Hammer. Simple voltmeter. Drill. Electrical tape.
Towel (a really really nice fluffy new one, the kind your parents would have a heart attack if you used to wash the car or clean up a spill since it wasn't an old beat up towel. Write on it with permanent marker, something like "use for stuff your parents would cringe at you using a nice towel for" or something like that).
is competition good, or is duplication of effort bad?
Come on, this site is 99.95% male Geeks and Nerds. Do you really think that any of us have a clue about what a normal female student would want??
Pass my sliderule would ya?
The race isn't always to the swift... but that's the way to bet!
Small piece of business advice...if you are working on a beach where the nearest 'other' locksmith is 40 minutes away, you need to be charging TWICE what they do, not half. Supply and demand is a harsh bitch sometimes.
BUT... if you really want to help her, get her some food. Good food. I lived on Ramen noodles, Little Debbie snack cakes, frozen pizzas, and Keystone Light. When you are living on the cheap, that is all you can afford. Give her a good, healthy, care-package of solid nutritious food-stuff. Don't give her food money, cause kids will spend it on crap they don't need and skimp on the food.
My beliefs do not require that you agree with them.
What are the chances this Ask Slashdot is from a marketing troll at ThinkGeek, for example?
Hell yea I hope she finds a chick like that and streams her room on the web!!!
Every college kid should have a good assortment of stash boxes. I have one in my vehicle, put in by a local custom car shop, and a few in my house that I built myself. They are great for hiding stuff that you might want to keep out of normal view A decent safe never hurt but given the tight spaces that usually confines college kids I'd suggest a small fire box with a simple key or number lock.
1 .html
here's a cheapie stash example:
http://www.pentagondefense.com/booksafe
~trust no one, always roll your own tin foil hats
Great for dorm life. Perfect for late night meal after the caffeteria is closed.
Knocks out the fat!
As a citizen of the most litigated society ever, I find the old saying 'ignorance is no exuse", though legally true, hard to swallow. I would be surprised to find a law student who was aware of more than 50% of our national and local laws.
and band aids. i would have never thought to get myself band aids, but the first time i cut myself on something in my computer and was bleeding all over the place i was very happy that mommy had.
All circuits busy.
I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to differ with your statement that "Theatre Majors are the epitome of laziness." I think, as in any major, you get those who are dedicated and those who are slackers. Granted, perhaps a few more slackers end up in the theatre area because it's more subjective and there are fewer rigorous homework deadlines than in, say, Astrophysics.
From personal experience I and many of my friends have worked our asses off in our university's Theatre department. And that's what one has to be willing to do if one has a strong desire to be an artist professionally. The ones who slacked off will inevitably be waiting tables, while the hard workers at least have a fighting chance.
Other than that, you give pretty good advice. ;-)
-Wombat,Michigan State class of 2002, BA Theatre, BS Astrophysics.
Examples of hardwork:
Lighting Design Portfolio
Acting Resume
and Your Mom(Improv Comedy)
Not that she won't have enough to read already, but send her a copy of Our Bodies, Ourselves . Part sex education, part woman education. All women should read this book. Heck, all men should read this book.
If you want subversive, this is it, by the way. Women get the short end of the stick in both sex ed and medical attention. This book fills in the gaps. Think of it as an owners manual for womanhood.
Some people have a way with words, and some people, um, thingy.
While many girls appreciate these gifts, it's derned close to that "my husband bought me a romantic clothes washer for our anniversary," or even, "my boyfriend changed the oil in my car for Valentine's day," or also, "My neighbor bought me a waffle iron for Christmas."
While we dudes appreciate a fine tool, it's not Chick stuff. The clothes washer and the waffle iron come with the implication, "MAKE USE OF THAT FINE APPLIANCE FOR ME RIGHT NOW YOU LAZY WOMAN. I HAVE A GAME TO WATCH. ONLY SUMMON ME IF THERE IS A FIRE OR SEX."
The lock pick set will be forgotten in the back of a drawer. The fine flashlight will be stolen at the first Rave.
Give the girl cash. Best gift. Accepted in 200+ countries and on 7 continents. No ID needed. Don't leave home without it.
I spent, and watched my friends spend, the first eighteen years of their lives defining what sort of a person they were. And then most of them dropped their identity as soon as they walked in the dorm and acted like everyone else, or at least how they expected everyone else to act. So many people get to college and because of the parental warnings, the movies, the jokes see it as a big kegparty and they work to act this out (to the point that my roommate is right now playing beirut on friggan Yahoo! games).
You should send a description of what kind of a person she seems to have become at this point, so that when the pressure comes down and she begins to falter she might stumble upon it and realize who she's leaving behind.
So things were tougher in your day. Things nearly always were. But that's the kind of logic that would have us all living in caves and avoiding fire because raw meat was good enough for our grand-daddies. I'm at university, and you know what? My PDA is really useful, so screw you. It's not necessary, but neither was your 386. It just makes life easier, and probably better. By taking care of the simple things for her, she'll be able to concentrate on her *real* goals: aceing her degree, but more importantly running up huge debts, going to raves, and spending hours wasting time with her friends. Because university (or college) is what turns you into the person you will be for the rest of your life, and if you have to spend it busting your ass just to afford food, then it turns you into what, apparently, you are: a hard-ass with no sense of fun. I'd rather be the mollycoddled, whiny brat, if it's all the same to you.
And in case you're wondering, I don't scrounge off my parents. I paid for my £2000 computer myself, with money I earned working 9-5, and the same goes for most of the rest of the stuff that I own.
When I first moved out into my own place I got a next day air package from my exhippie uncle. It had a Leatherman Wave (with the leather belt pouch) inside with hand written post-it saying, "This is your life line, don't lose it." I'll be damed if he wasn't right. So far its fixed cars (import and domistic) computers (mac and pc), Stereos (one Aiwa and a one old ass RCA Victrola) and opened more beers than some bar tenders.
PS. You don't need a lock pick set for B&A, That leatherman worked just fine for breaking into that fire station (long, very kinky story).
"You can see I know very little about pimp policy." George McGovern.
Going off to college means, for many, real independence for the first time. So the first things you should think about including are in support of that, or, in related fashion, in support of what happens when that breaks down. Like a pre-paid phone card with a gazillion minutes on it. And, perhaps more importantly, your phone number enscribed on that phone card so that she can call an adult who is not her parent for non-judgmental advice, followed by the words "call any time of day or night." And when she does call at 3am, make sure you wake up, listen, and provide the support she needs.
As oft-mentioned in other replies, condoms. GOOD ones. And then, bone up on emergency anti-pregnancy procedures for that 3am call asking, "ohmigod Uncle Bob -- the condom broke, what do I do?"
An open account with a local taxi service so that she never, ever, ever has to worry about getting a ride home. The means to limit abuses of this are up to you.
Alcohol. The best place to learn about drinking is in the private, protected confines of your own dorm room. (Note, there are serious legality issues here which vary from state to state. Don't do something stupid and blame it on me.)
Anti-hangover remedies. My favorite is Berocca. Send a case. Ibuprofen. Send lots.
HIV home test kits (which are really home-sampling kits which you then send to a central lab for analysis). Not cheap, but she should have any guy she's thinking of having sex with tested.
*Assuming* she knows how to use basic handtools, a small toolbox with decent quality hammer, screwdrivers, and pliers is great. If she doesn't know how to use these tools, it is still a good idea, but not nearly as important. From your suggestion of lockpicks and flashlight, one might surmise she is perhaps mechanically inclined. If so, add small pocket knife, magnifying loupe, a pocket-sized set of jewlers tools. At the other end of the physical scale, a crowbar and a 3-lb sledge. A good digital multimeter (eg, Fluke 77-III or equivalent).
The person who recommended flip-flops and a shower basket was right on the money. Add some decent (and decent-sized) soap and a couple of small travel-sized bottles of her favorite shampoo and conditioner (or other toiletries).
Now, to be really *subversive*, send a set of infrared goggles, available at surplus houses everywhere. Add in works by Kant, Ionesco, Wittgenstein, Chekov and Orwell. A couple of remote listening devices. Books on how to swear in a dozen languages. Assuming she's going to college in the US, plane tickets to Europe (put those gazillion FF miles to work!). Safety pins (the most universally useful items, after knives). Fake wedding rings. Falsies (see the posting about breast implants and their universal utility). Wigs of different color or style from her normal hair. A get-out-of-jail-free card (see the phone card with your number on it, above).
But the most subversive thing you could possibly give is: encouragement.
Put my fist through my alarm clock with its ding-dong death inside my ear. - The Blackjacks.
What that doesn't tell you is that it is the cops and the courts which will 'prove' your intent. If you carry them around in public without a darn good reason, they are quite often considered 'burglary tools' and as such are illegal. That's one reason that I took a mailorder locksmithing course - as a "certified" locksmith I can always say I'm drumming up business....
NB: Don't bother buying cheap tools! remember: The bitterness of poor quality will be remembered long after the sweetness of low price has been forgotten.
The results of using a poor-quality tool vary from a frustrating experience when a hand tool almost does what it's supposed to, to a permanently-disfiguring accident when an under-powered saw jams, kicks back, and slices digits. If money is tight, it is better to buy good tools used than lousy tools new.
- Makita 9.6V cordless drill w/drill bits and driver bits - a total workhorse - I bought mine in 1987, used it all through school, then professionally for ten years. The only thing I've ever replaced are the NiCd batteries.
- Saw - electric circular if you're going high $$$; high quality hand saw otherwise
- Hand Tools -
- Good 20oz. forged hammer - Estwing is nice
- 4-Way screwdriver - one double-ended shank, each end holding one double-ended bit
- 30 ft. steel-bladed tape measure
- Utility knife - I like the Stanley one that swings open butterfly-style, so you can change the blade without using a screwdriver
- Vise-Grip brand locking pliers - accept no substitutes - there's Vise-Grip, and not exactly.
- Miscellaneous
- Permacel Gaffer's Tape - available from theatrical/film supply houses - as useful as duct tape, but stronger, doesn't smell like dead horses, and leaves much less residue on removal
- Assortment of screws, nails, bolts, nuts, plastic drywall anchors, etc.
- Small tub of spackle and a flexible putty knife for filling holes made by above
I'm not going to venture into tools for electrical work - the freshman dorms probably won't afford much opportunity for adding ceiling fixtures, but if she's headed for an apartment, a pair of wire cutters, strippers, and a neon "is it hot?" tester get you pretty far.This thing can drill holes and drive screws all day long. The entire entertainment industry runs on this tool.
I find it amusing that we have this whole discussion to determine that lockpicks are only illegal if intent is there to use them illegaly....this is a moot point...breaking and entering into your professor's offices is illegal therefore sending someone lockpicks to use for this purpose is as well :)
Brian
Let's see, two grand for a 386 puts you in college in the mid-80's. I'm going to try to put this as gently as I can, in the hopes that you might listen to it and spare some kids some grief.
I too paid for my own college. I could not afford a computer of any kind. I graduated in 1989, paid for entirely on my own dime. I too resented the frat rats who were handed everything while I worked two, and at one point, three jobs.
Now, you need to understand, that sometimes the world can change. Brace yourself, get a stiff drink, and try to cope with the fact that while lower-end wages have fallen, tuitions have multiplied.
After taking a few more courses in 1995, I realized that there is no way in hell I would have my degree if I had tried to go to school just six years after I graduated. Tuition had doubled, and for the tech-related courses, tripled. In economic terms, you had it easy.
Looking back, the kids who truly got the most out of school were the ones who didn't have to spend 50 hours a week working like I did. My kids will go to college with all the trimmings, fully funded, and I will be proud that I could give them something I didn't have.
You aren't "helping your kids grow." What you're really doing is taking your bitterness out on them.
He put his boots up on the table and made a face. "The sig," he smirked. "You can waste your life in search of the sig."