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Got Evil? Buy it Here!

Posted by ryuzaki0 on from the things-you-can't-find-in-fry's dept.

Saint Aardvark writes "I just came across VillainSupply.com, and I'm sold. From Doomsday Devices to Robotic Tigers to Randroids, these guys have got it all. Don't forget the convenient, accessible self-destruct device!"

18 of 216 comments (clear)

  1. two weeks by Alric · · Score: 5, Funny

    I give them two weeks until some humorless secret service agent sends a threatening letter to their ISP.

    Alric.
    To Elbereth...

  2. Evil Realtor by Alien54 · · Score: 4, Informative
    They also own Evil Realtor.com

    This compares with the 20th Century castles site, which also has this item that would make a good lair.

    and which is a real item

    --
    "It is a greater offense to steal men's labor, than their clothes"
  3. Ok, they've got by sconeu · · Score: 5, Funny

    the "convenient, accessible self-destruct device". But do they have the murder device with the "unnecessarily slow dipping mechanism"?

    --
    General Relativity: Space-time tells matter where to go; Matter tells space-time what shape to be.
    1. Re:Ok, they've got by 56ker · · Score: 4, Funny

      You mean the big sharp blade that slowly moves down? The one where the evil genius says something along the lines of "I have you now - and in five minutes time the rope will burn through releasing the swinging blade which will cut you in half. I'd love to stay and watch - but unfortunately me and my henchmen have to go and watch the football! :o)"

      --


      Video Game cheats, hints a
    2. Re:Ok, they've got by Uart · · Score: 4, Funny

      And all I wanted was some sharks with friggin' lasers....

      --

      Opinionated Law Student Strikes Again!
  4. ...From the Footer by $carab · · Score: 5, Funny

    www.villainsupply.com is owned and operated by Global Domination LLC, a consortium of organizations devoted to the consolidation of global capital by a single cabal or individual. Member organizations include The Trilateral Commission, The Bilderberger Group, Alternative 3, The World Zionist Conspiracy, VilAnon, The International Union of Mad Scientists, Majestic-12, World Freemasonry, SMERSH/The Second Soviet, Switzerland, The Arctic Nazis, The Hellfire Club, Price/Waterhouse/Coopers, Sanrio, Archer/Daniels/Midland, Dr. DeSpayr, The U.S. Military-Industrial Complex, and Amway.

    I think they forgot the The great and sinister VA "Software" keiretsu.

  5. They may have a doomsday device... by salmo · · Score: 5, Funny

    but do they have a psychotic arm for my former nazi scientist?

  6. Needs Something... by muzzmac · · Score: 5, Funny

    Perhaps a pre-recorded evil laughing device.

    I find MUUUUAAAAHHAAAHHAAAAHAHAHAHA! can be very taxing on the voicebox after a few hours.

    "Evil laugh augmentation device. Pat Pend"

  7. /. effect - on Friday night?!?! by tomdarch · · Score: 5, Funny

    We're a sorry bunch, but for a site to get /.ed at roughly midnight on a Friday night is pretty sad! I mean, I'm stuck at home running an animation rendering, so, um, I have an excuse. But what about the rest of you!

    1. Re:/. effect - on Friday night?!?! by spiro_killglance · · Score: 4, Funny

      Hey its saturday morning were I am. Been out to
      a club, got pissed, got pissed off by a mate
      snogging the girl i was chatting up. Dancing the
      manic disco dance of the extremely angry. Walked
      to the top of the hill and back, at home cooling
      off reading slashdot. And they say programmers have no life.

      Which reminds me, they need another section on there site, terminal over-reaction revenage devices.

      Al Corpone baseball bat. $50

      Magick Evil Explode a minion hand gesture, in
      case any ask a good question. $10,000,000

      Miniture Zarug battle fleet*. One thousand years
      old each ship the 1.5cm in length. Currently
      enaged in a holy war, the the Verhug captain that
      back what he said about is mother. $5,000,000.

      *garanatee void if used near small dogs.

  8. A Real Doomsday Device by borgasm · · Score: 4, Funny

    Come on, we all employ a doomsday device on a daily basis.

    It's called The Slashdot Effect.

  9. Scenario? by quantaman · · Score: 5, Funny

    Boss: Ahh, the time is at hand. We have but a few minutes while the satellites are perfectly alinged with the moon to form our Death Ray. Alert our forces and the send the fire command!!

    Henchman: Sir, we can't access the central server!

    Boss: What has happened? Did a government spy infiltrate us and take our the control room?

    Henchman: I don't think so sir...

    Boss: Was our facility taken over by a crack military team that has cut power to the mainframe?

    Henchman: Uhhh.. Not exactly

    Boss: Did a team of elite crackers break in at the last minute and upload a virus?

    Henchman: Closer...

    Boss: Well what is it?

    Henchman: It's the slashdot effect! All our communications have ground to a halt, our enviromental controls are turning our headquarters into an inferno and our satellites are going to crash into our island!

    Boss: Arrghh!! Foiled Again! Escape to our nuclear submarine!

    Henchman: Um sir.. remember a few months ago how you wanted us to installed Windows on the sub...

    BOOM!!!

    --
    I stole this Sig
    1. Re:Scenario? by Jucius+Maximus · · Score: 5, Funny
      "Henchman: Um sir.. remember a few months ago how you wanted us to installed Windows on the sub...

      BOOM!!!"

      Would that be the operating system to control the sub's computer systems or the transparent sides used for viewing the ocean that would implode at sufficient depth?

      I guess either way it does not matter ...

  10. A real lair by Animats · · Score: 4, Interesting
    A friend of mine, after cashing out of his startup, acquired a secret R&D lab in a remote farming village in Switzerland. The place is equipped with reinforced concrete walls, a bomb shelter, a freight elevator, an overhead crane, a private power substation, and a server farm. Plus there's a mansion-sized house with an indoor swimming pool.

    What really gets me is that he paid less for the place than a typical house where I live, in Silicon Valley.

  11. No, no, no! by gusnz · · Score: 4, Informative

    "Unnecessarily slow dripping mechanisms"? Bah!

    Every serious Evil Overlord has long ago forsaken them in favour of things much more practical.

    Plus, not only will your World Domination plans be more effective, they'll be cheaper too.

    :)

    --
    <!-- DHTML / JavaScript menu, popup tooltip, Ajax scripts -->
  12. Am I evil or not? by Fiver-rah · · Score: 5, Funny
    My favorite bit is AmIEvilOrNot.com (strangely not found at amievilornot.com).

    The top 4 most evil people they have listed:

    1. Adolf Hitler (69.4 % think he's pure evil)
    2. Osama Bin Laden (55.1 %)
    3. Bill Gates (51.5)
    4. John Ashcroft (45.6)
    --
    Read Bujold. Free (as in
  13. Improved Evil Kit by Animats · · Score: 5, Funny
    Unlike Villain Supply, everything here can be ordered.
    • TKsolver. $399. The spreadsheet for crooked accountants. Allows you to change the totals and have the other numbers adjusted to fit.
    • DestroyIt 5009 CC High Capacity Shredder. $25,999. Gets rid of all those incriminating documents fast. Nixon, Ollie North, and Enron all got into trouble because of inadequate shredder capacity. Don't let this happen to you. Requires 80-amp outlet.
    • Offshore dummy company in Vanatu $1995. Escape taxes. Do secret arms deals. Pay bribes. Order online through "ultra-secure website" which uses regular HTTP.
    • Armored Mercedes-Benz 600 SEL $69,900. Level V armor. Laugh at wannabe hijackers with AK-47s.
    • Vault Door with time lock $7000. Standard bank equipment. Installation extra.
  14. read the fine print about the robotic tigers by Afrosheen · · Score: 4, Funny

    "****requires two specially-trained gay German technicians"

    Any poke at Sigfried and Roy gets 5 stars in my book :)