Switch Different

x180 writes "Those goofy hackers over at the O'Reilly Open Source Convention in San Diego this week have, in a spate of fun, put together a series of Switch ad spoofs for the geeky ones. Writes Rael Dornfest in his blog, 'You've no doubt seen Apple's fabulous Switch campaign commercials. But what of the others? The geeky ones. The scripters. The sysadmins in their server cages. The command-line jockeys. Those through whom the source flows openly.' See the stories of hackers chucking Emacs in favor of Vi, leaving Perl to explore Python, and leaving the familiar home of Unix to play with XP." These, of course, aren't the only switch parodies. Their numbers are Legion.

Comments

What we need

[Anonymous Coward]

Is some retro switch commercials, like someone switching from Win3.1 to run OS/2 :)

Or switching from Vax/VMS to SunOS 4 :)

Phoenix News Service

[carl67lp]

We at the Phoenix News Service had a news story in a similar vein: PC Companies Counter "Real People" Campaign With "Real Porn Stars" Campaign

Audio?

[HaveBlue34]

Well maybe if all the movies didnt sound like the parents from Peanuts I would appreciate the humor a bit more. As it stands maybe they should switch to some film classes.
HB

Vi?

[Kwikymart]

"Emacs in favor of Vi... and leaving the familiar home of Unix to play with XP."

Please, whatever you do, don't equate Vi to Windows XP!

Re:Vi?

[leviramsey]

No, look at the analogy:

Emacs : Vi :: XP : Unix

So Emacs == XP. Ha!

Re:Vi?

[wdr1]

I fully agree.

XP is not *that* bad. ;-)

-Bill

Re:Vi?

[MaxVlast]

Zing!

Re:Vi?

[Anonymous Coward]

Yea, don't tarnish Windows XP. Vi sucks the big one.

Elitest Assholes

[Bonker]

http://www.penny-arcade.com/view.php3?date=2002-7- 12&res=l

Re:Elitest Assholes

[TheDanish]

Beat me to it. Anyway, yeah, what's with the switch campaign? What's wrong with what I have? It works, it doesn't crash, it does what I want it to whenever I want it to. This is a problem because...?

Oh, wait, I got it, "because it's not a Mac." Well, I'm certainly convinced, just you *TRY* and hold me back from getting a Mac now.

Re:Elitest Assholes

[Paradise Pete]

it does what I want it to

Maybe the problem is that you don't want enough.

Re:Elitest Assholes

[Bobartig]

Um, the concept of an ad campaign is to try and sell something. They identify a problem (that lots of people have) and present a solution. I'm trying to figure out how you can have issues with this. I hate to shock you, but PC companies advertise too.. DUUUUUUDE, yer gettin' a DELL!!! (*ROLL*)

Re:Elitest Assholes

[TheDanish]

You're probably right; I don't ask enough. Let's see... I could ask it to... well, I don't know. I guess I'm just one of those simple folk. So, for those simple folk such as myself, who want to do things like surf the net, print stuff, scan stuff, listen to stuff, program stuff, play stuff, burn stuff onto CDs, watch DVDs and other videos, IM people and share stuff quickly, the
For doing stuff I don't do, though, I'm sure Macs are really great.

Re:Elitest Assholes

[TheDanish]

... people and share stuff quickly, the (less than $1000) parts that would upgrade my comp to a reletively high-end system would suffice...

no, it was not my computer's fault that I used an angle bracket for a less than sign. That's just what a stupid Joe PC User such as myself do.

Re:Elitest Assholes

[TheDanish]

Alright, you got me. I don't have any particular problem, and I'm sure many others don't (that's why many others don't have Macs), but there are those that do and are willing to spend a pretty penny for those problems to be fixed. That pretty penny, of course, is worth it because of its value, much in the same way as Microsoft saying its OS is more of a value than *nix, and hence the extra money is better spent.

Re:Elitest Assholes

[Anonymous Coward]

Those ads are pretty stupid, though. That girl obviously set her Jetta keys on the keyboard's backspace key and erased her document. And she blames the OS!

Re:Elitest Assholes

[Joe Tie.]

I thought that strip was kind of funny, but I think the penny arcade guys missed the point of the spots. I don't think the commercials are aimed so much to say macs are better, but rather to simply try to address the misconception the average windows user has that macs are inferior toy computers.

I think it's stupid in this day and age that anyone would think along those lines, but unfourtunatly most of the people out there are just this ignorent of computer topics. Heck, look how often the one mouse issue will come up on any slashdot discussion. If in a fairly tech savy comunity there's that long lasting a misconception, I think apple is smart to have these comercils to target the averge computer shopper.

Heck, I'd love it if some distro funded a "I'm a Linux user, and I don't type everything on a command line" comercial.

Re:Elitest Assholes

[Anonymous Coward]

I can piss further than you can!

Re:Elitest Assholes

[Anonymous Coward]

That could *easily* work for most Linux users if they changed the apple logo on the mug to Tux. Go ahead, spread more anti Apple/Microsoft FUD. Linux still sucks.

Linux FUD exposed:
1. Windows has to access the DLLs in order to communicate with the hardware, so 3D apps on Linux are faster, since it's accessed directly from the kernel.

Fact: Linux may be quicker when it come to accessing the hardware, but you're forgetting the most unstable part of the Linux OS: XFree86. XFree86 was designed as a network transparent windowing system (whatever that fucking means), so it has the added overhead of opening network ports to ... guess what? Talk to itself!

2. WINE is a Windows emulator

Fact: It says right on the WINE site that it is not an emulator. In fact, I'm not sure what it is, since most people aren't even able to run Notepad with it. An alcoholic beverage maybe?

3. Linux is free

Fact: The biggest lie of all, since Linux is only free if your time is worth nothing.

--CheezyDee

Re:Elitest Assholes

[Anonymous Coward]

Madonna was MUCh more convincing.

Like a virgin...hey
ass raped for the fifth or sixth time.
Like a vir ir ir ir gin
Being scat on is mighty fine!

Re:Elitest Assholes

[nathanh]

[Re: 3D] XFree86 was designed as a network transparent windowing system (whatever that fucking means), so it has the added overhead of opening network ports to ... guess what? Talk to itself!

The DRI module in XFree86 is an acronym for Direct Rendering Infrastructure. 3D graphics applications render directly to the hardware, avoiding the overheads of the network pipe.

[Re: Wine] In fact, I'm not sure what it is, since most people aren't even able to run Notepad with it.

I run Office 97. It's not exactly hard.

[Re: Linux is free] The biggest lie of all, since Linux is only free if your time is worth nothing.

Nonsense. Linux is still free, no matter how much your time is worth. The cost of the product is distinct from the cost of using it. Otherwise there would never be anything that was free.

Also the "Linux is free" phrase has a double meaning. Focussing solely on the cost aspect is either ignorant or deceptive. Either way you're gay.

Re:Elitest Assholes

[Anonymous Coward]

>> 3D graphics applications render directly to the hardware, avoiding the overheads of the network pipe.

It was a ridiculous claim in the first place. X does not communicate via TCP sockets on a local machine -- it does so via unix sockets, which are just a fancy way of accomplishing IPC and incur virtually no overhead compared to network sockets.

Re:Elitest Assholes

[nathanh]

It was a ridiculous claim in the first place. X does not communicate via TCP sockets on a local machine -- it does so via unix sockets, which are just a fancy way of accomplishing IPC and incur virtually no overhead compared to network sockets.

It wasn't a totally ridiculous claim. The UNIX socket means two redundant copies. There's also the overhead of encoding the request, decoding the request, and sanity-checking the result.

The XFree86 developers also toyed with a shared memory transport instead of the current UNIX socket. It turns out that sockets are so quick and video cards are so slow that it didn't matter.

more parodies

[TheSHAD0W]

http://www.benbrown.com/switch/
http://animoller. com/switch/
http://www.ubergeek.tv/switchback/

Sad

[yzquxnet]

Okay, that was just sad watching those videos. I want to praise them and call them geeks, but honestly, they looked more like DORKS in the video. 2 thumbs down man.

Re:Sad

[Anonymous Coward]

Anyone who can make a girl bark like a dog gets my vote for geek of the year.

kinda funny

[martissimo]

that a few of the parodies listed at the top of googles search have been hit with cease and desist's by Apple, and yet the www.benbrown.com/switch one is still up.

it is hilarious though :)

Re:kinda funny

[flonker]

Parody is a protected form of speech. Get legal advice, but most likely the cease and desist letters don't have much legal footing. From the Chilling Effects website:

Even though the Constitution guarantees freedom of expression, trademark and copyright owners have rights, that may or may not be violated by the name or content of a web site you have dedicated to protest, criticism or parody.

... on another page ...

Question: What is "parody"?

Answer: The courts have defined the word parody in the context of an Internet site. Here's what some of the cases have to say: A "parody" is a "simple form of entertainment conveyed by juxtaposing the irreverent representation of the trademark with the idealized image created by the mark's owner." A parody must "convey two simultaneous--and contradictory--messages: that it is the original, but also that it is not the original and is instead a parody. To the extent that an alleged parody conveys only the first message, "it is...vulnerable under trademark law, since the customer will be confused." While a parody necessarily must engender some intial confusion, an effective parody will diminish the risk of consumer confusion "by conveying [only] just enough of the original design to allow the consumer to appreciate the point of parody."

#include

Re:kinda funny

[EvanED]

Someone should do a switch parody for Linux that includes this line:

"And they don't serve you with cease and decist letters for parodying their ads."

In the video portion, display the quotes from the US Code (Title 17) or the court decision that established parody is legal. Cornell's search engine finds no hits of "parody" in Title 17, so I expect that the excemption for parody was set by a court decision on fair use. (IANAL though, so can't speak to it)

Re:kinda funny

[flonker]

I did a bit more research, and found this article. Some quotes:

Since copyright law prohibits the substantial use of a copyrighted work without permission of the copyright owner, and because such permission is highly unlikely when the use is to create a parody, it may be necessary for the parodist to rely on the fair-use defense to forestall any liability for copyright infringement. However, the fair-use defense if successful will only be successful when the newly created work that purports itself to be parody is a valid parody.

...

The courts have continually struggled with parody cases when ascertaining whether a particular parody falls within the parameters of fair use or is instead copyright infringement. The fair use section of the Copyright Act specifically enumerates criticism as one of the purposes for which the fair use defense was contemplated, but should this imply that a parody should have more extensive latitude than other types of creative works when the fair-use defense is invoked?

And this was supposed to be on my previous message, but I messed it up:
#include <IANAL.h>

Re:kinda funny

[KFury]

The easy way not to get hit with a cease and desist is to not use the Apple logo or one of Apple's trademarks.

Imitate the style, but don't make something that infringes on their marks, and should the cease and desist come in, you can laugh at them, and maybe call them up to do it to their face.

Yuk

[RedOregon]

All in streaming QuickTime for your viewing pleasure.

No thanks.

Re:Yuk

[NanoGator]

Heh yah, I'd hate Quicktime too if I wasn't maxed out on karma.

A pet peeve of most animators is when somebody is unwilling or unable (bandwidth, etc) to install a codec or player. It sucks because we spend so much time picking the right one for the project. Until a single codec comes along and wipes the others out in every single category, you're just going to have to deal with having a bunch of different players despite the slimey tactics some of them use.

Re:Yuk

[EvanED]

MPEGs are avaliable if you follow the link to the perl.com mirror

Re:Yuk

[Joe Tie.]

It sucks because we spend so much time picking the right one for the project.

I do sympathise with that. I've gotten enough complaints over the fact that I use Ogg Vorbis for my projects from people who don't want to upgrade winamp, but who want to play the games music in it. But the problem here was that much of the target audience can't install the codec. Not can't be bothered to install it, just can't. A significant enough amount of the target audience for something like this, from what I can tell of the descriptions at least, would be using Linux to warrent encoding them in something we can actually watch.

Re:Yuk

[Anonymous Coward]

I thought winamp supported ogg vorbis, no need to fuck around downloading extra codecs?

Re:Yuk

[Afrosheen]

Until a single codec comes along and wipes the others out in every single category, you're just going to have to deal with having a bunch of different players...

Uh, this happened already, it's called DiVX;-) and is freely available to everyone. I don't know if it'll stream or not or what it takes to stream it if it will though.

I guess you could always use a divx codec in a quicktime wrapper, leave it in an mpeg wrapper for those of us without macs.

Re:Yuk

[NanoGator]

No, DivX has it's problems too. I like DivX, but there are reasons an author making stuff for the web may not use it. One example would be this: "I chose Windows Media over DivX because many people have it installed already." If you're launching something for mass market audiences "Who don't want to install stuff", then DivX isn't going to get much consideration.

I'm not anti-DivX or anything, that's just one of the limitations that makes people search for other codecs. One day it could hit that magic mark, but it'll be a while. It does seem more than capable of pulling it off tho.

Re:Yuk

[Toraz Chryx]

DIVX ;-) kinda needs better audio/video syncronisation IMO

Re:Yuk

[Afrosheen]

Might just be your slow box, you never know.

To quote from the Linux User Top 10 Bad Sayings, "It works fine for me".

Re:Yuk

[paganizer]

....Which is why I always put my stuff up in at least 3 different formats, .mov, .mpg & .asf Everyone Is almost certain to have a codec for one of them. It's easy, it's free, and it's just plain sense. (yes, I will start using OGG video when I can figure it out.)

Re:Yuk

[NanoGator]

Yeah, that's definitely one of the best ways to approach it. I'm not sure why somebody wouldn't do that to be honest. (Unless they feel they NEEED to stream...) Fortunately some of the big sites are okay about that.

Re:Yuk

[Toraz Chryx]

it's not my machine, it can play a file straight through without problems.. the problem is when you try to jump to a specific point, and you get audio lagged behind (or running ahead of) the video.

(and since when is a 1.5Ghz AthlonXP with a gig of DDR ram a _slow_ computer?)

Re:Yuk

[Afrosheen]

Oh ok, now we get to the root of your problem. Most people aren't going to read your mind to realize that divx has sync problems when you're skipping forwards and backwards through a clip.

I've seen this on my box too, generally I just pause the clip and hit play again. Takes all of a half second and the sync matches easily. I use either mplayer or xine and xine tends to do this more often than mplayer.

Beats the hell out of using Windows Media player though.

Re:Yuk

[Toraz Chryx]

I use either Sasami or "THE PLAYA" as I'm Win32 here, either way it's frickin' annoying. especially when it wouldn't be _that_ difficult to fix it so workarounds weren't needed..

I mean, comeon, they can compress video to a fraction of it's normal size, but they can't work out how to keep that synced to audio?.. bah.

Well then...

[speedfreak_5]

Legion's number is now 3,520?

Re:Well then...

[Dyolf Knip]

Yeah, it's an ISO standard. 'Legion' equates to a quantity of 3520. 'Multitudinous' is 1579, 'numerous' a mere 89, and 'sundry' is 567 everywhere except the US (where we think it's 543. it's even worse than our adherence to the imperial measuring system). I hear they'll be quantifying 'myriad', 'voluminous', and 'uncounted' next year. 'Flock', unfortunately, was a fiasco after that incident with the bird-watchers in Paris and the official decision has been put off till 2008.

Re:Well then...

[Maniakes]

I hear they'll be quantifying 'myriad', 'voluminous', and 'uncounted' next year.

Myriad is greek for 10,000.
Voluminous still needs a standard, as does uncounted, although the latter standard needs to take into account the fact that 'uncountable' is a subset of 'uncounted'

Re:Well then...

[Anonymous Coward]

Myriad is already quantified. It simply means 'ten thousand' in Greek.

Bozos. Than's why I use a mac :-)

Re:Apple Gaytime Pro

[Anonymous Coward]

Looks like we need a switch campaign from Quicktime to MPEG2.

Re:Emacs better than VI?

[Anonymous Coward]

Who the hell said that emacs was better than vi?

I think it's in the Bible somewhere...

Re:Emacs better than VI?

[Anonymous Coward]

Ah, you mean the bit about abominations..

"Linux saved me from the blue screen"

[slugo3]

I propose linuxadvertising.org
we could take donations from the community and make our own commercials. One could be about schools that made the switch to linux in fear of M$ audits and such. Ive always scoffed when people start talking about linux hasent lived up to this and isnt ready for that because linux is not a company but a little self promotion doesnt hurt :)

Re:"Linux saved me from the blue screen"

[Joe Tie.]

Perhaps a joint venture betwean Linux users tired of explaining we have a gui, and Mac users tired of explaining that their operating system supports multi button mice.

Re:"Linux saved me from the blue screen"

[Anonymous Coward]

Sure, great idea, and I'll volunteer to throw in a significant amount of funding to get you started. Just promise me that Bruce Perens will NOT act as spokesperson for an ad. (shudders)

Re:"Linux saved me from the blue screen"

[Anonymous Coward]

The beginnig of the commercial should be like the scene in "Hackers" where the feds raid that kids house. Have a message like, this is what happens when the BSA finds out you are using un-licensed software.

Maybe the Matrix cast would help us out and be in the commercials? yeah, right...I'm dreaming again.

Re:"Linux saved me from the blue screen"

[Anonymous Coward]

Wait, back up, you can use a multibutton mouse with a mac? Does it still have to look like a hockey puck?

Apple gamers?

[WildBeast]

Here's one about Apple Gamers, it's pretty funny.

http://www.drunkgamers.com/switch0001.shtml

Re:Apple gamers?

[Anonymous Coward]

the greatest part is just about halfway through when he names the games and softly mentions photoshop

Re:Apple gamers?

[Phroggy]

Yep, saw that at work yesterday, funniest thing I've seen in a long time.

And yes, I play Warcraft III on my iMac.

Re:Apple gamers?

[karnal]

Does anybody else find it funny that the file (yes, it's downloading) is a .mov? .... :)

Re:Apple Gaytime Pro

[Flarelocke]

Well, thankyou for that in-depth critique, but if you look closer, you'll see that it's not only in quicktime. There are also mpeg's provided.

chrisd

[Anonymous Coward]

dibona is getting fatter by the day.

It's a nice little irony...

[bachelor3]

...that all the movies on the site are in Quicktime, no?

Re:It's a nice little irony...

[Ig0r]

Not as funny as the fact that they were edited with iMovie on an Apple notebook.

Re:It's a nice little irony...

[Chris Johnson]

...and judging from reports of just how quick and dirty these little videos are, apparently they were effortlessly thrown together by amateurs in iMovie on an Apple notebook. Hmmmmm ;)

Re:It's a nice little irony...

[Ig0r]

I have used iMovie before for a small video project. It was fairly easy to get started using and produced nice results, until the audio filter started fading out on every clip and I had to restart the edit...

It looks like these guys just didn't have any lights or microphones, and didn't preview it at all.

Re:It's a nice little irony...

[geekd]

I've been at the OSCON all week, and I am shocked at the blatant, ongoing Apple OSX commercial that OSCON is.

Everyone is sporting and flaunting thier iBooks and other OSX machines. I thought this was the *Open Source* convention. Run linux on your laptop like a real geek.

posers

Re:It's a nice little irony...

[Anonymous Coward]

You have been reported to Steven Jobs, (who now owns the term "Open Source", as well as the corporate entities O'Reilly, Slashdot, and the entire Free Software movement) for your refusal to bow to his will of proclaiming a closed source operating system as being open. You have not been deceived and therefore must die. Please insert your head into the BrainLobotomizer now. You are now modded flamebait for wondering why a Gnu/Linux site would post more stories on Macs than Linux. You disgust me. Buy a $6,000 800Mhz TiBook now or suffer the consequences.

Enjoy the Aqua GUI, the salvation of mankind.

You must give up your freedom to gain salvation through us. The GUI is gorgeous. Overlook our corporate evil and proprietary nature. You use what works best and looks best, not what brings freedom. Slavery is an alternative lifestyle that you are anxious to enjoy. As the chains of DRM and DMCA are thrown about your neck, understand that using our product will make slavery feel good. Go to sleep.

Life is hard, but Mac OS X is easy. Why suffer and struggle to make a free operating system? Nobody appreciates your labour. Freedom is unnecessary. All you need are nice applications and Photoshop. We are cool. You can be cool as well. Join us. We will do all the heavy lifting for you. All we ask in return is your eternal devotion and servitide. We will care for you, comfort you, shield you from the cruel world. Don't watch the news anymore. Read MacCentral instead. There is no Big Brother. Those people are crazies. Enjoy our Aqua GUI. Everyone is doing it. Why hang on to outdated notions of freedom and community? All the Open Source people use Macs. This is their little secret. They don't use Linux anymore. Neither should you. It's dead and gone, and we killed it. We need you coding for us now. Join us.

Linux is officially dead. Mac OS X is king. Long live the King of Open Source. Mac OS X. Linux was a mistake on the road to greatness. We are the light.

Freedom is overrated. Do not question us. Do not stand on your principles. Do not support open standards. We are the new Microsoft. Our openness is illusory. You will join us. You will defend us as we enslave you and the world. You have no objectivity. You belong to us forever. You will now install our DRM patch. Enjoy.

I write this from my TiBook. The paint is chipping off, it is deadly slow, I have nearly no source code, I have caught my computer dialing out to littlebuddy.apple.com without me doing anything to cause it. I believe in the corporate way. For the first time in history, a corporation cares for its customers more than for its own wellbeing. This is evident by the many Cease And Desist orders, manipulation of the press, theft of Watson and other third party ideas, and rampant overpricing Apple displays on a regular basis. You are not buying a computer. You are buying an image. Image is everything. Thirst is nothing. Buy Apple. Style over substance is the mantra of the 21st Century. Enjoy our joyous offerings. We fulfil your every need. You can not be happy until you have joined us. Buy our computers. Love our computers. Love us. And go to sleep, little Machead. Go to sleep...

Obey. Obey. Obey. Obey. Obey. Obey. Obey. Obey. Obey. Obey. Obey. Obey. Obey. Obey. Obey. Obey. Obey. Obey. Obey. Obey. Obey. Obey. Obey. Obey. Obey. Obey. Obey. Obey. Obey. Obey. Obey. Obey. Obey. Obey. Obey. Obey. Obey. Obey. Obey. Obey. Obey. Obey. Obey. Obey. Obey.

Re:It's a nice little irony...

[rjung2k]

Hey, iMovie is easy to use, but even it won't turn crap into gems.

Re:It's a nice little irony...

[Ig0r]

I didn't expect it to turn my crap into a gem, but I do expect the program to not randomly apply audio filters with no way to remove them (none of the clips properties showed fade outs, but many of them had fade outs, so it's a little difficult to remove a filter that the program doesn't think is applied).

OpenSource Convention stuff in .mov format....

[ashutoshmehra]

Looks like these open source people want me to switch to WinXp ;)

For the 3 people who can see them...

[berb]

I just clicked on the Vi one, and wouldn't you know it, its QUICKTIME --- so tell me how it is you 3 /. M$ users ?!?

Re:For the 3 people who can see them...

[Anonymous Coward]

hahahaha, your OS is shit, you can't even play Quicktime. Get a proper computer, dorkwad.

Re:For the 3 people who can see them...

[AELinuxGuy]

Get CrossOver Plugin (link is to free nagware download)! It will cost you $25 if you want to get rid of the reminders to buy the program, but lets you play Quicktime, Windows Media Player, etc. and is really easy to use.

who needs parodies...

[autopr0n]

When we have this

Re:who needs parodies...

[Verizon Guy]

Dude, I know what you're thinking, but she is sooo mine... sorry!

Re:who needs parodies...

[crisco]

"I was writing paper..."

"It was good paper..."

Yeah I'm sure it was good paper...

That ad kept me entertained for most of an evening.

Re:who needs parodies...

[Artifex]

Yeah I'm sure it was good paper...

Hey, you expect too much from junior high girls =)

Plus, she never said "I was good student..."

Re:who needs parodies...

[TechnoPops]

Yeah, I'd hit it! [animated GIF of a grinning smiley giving two thumbs up]

Oh, wait. This ISN'T an off-topic forum? Whoops, sorry. :P

Re:who needs parodies...

[Anonymous Coward]

Now that's funny. ;)

source?

[Stonent1]

The first time I saw it I read
To whom the sores flow openly.
Which could be kinda true if you're just sitting in your chair 10 hours a day compiling, tuning and other wise ruling the network :)

So just use something everyone has...

[autopr0n]

Like MPEG.

It might not be the 'best for the project', but it will work for the most people. Quicktime is proprietary crap, and the player on windows sucks. Real is proprietary crap all around. And MS is proprietary (although the windows player is ok). If you use MPEG, everyone is happy.

Re:So just use something everyone has...

[Verizon Guy]

Quicktime is proprietary crap, and the player on windows sucks.

That may be true for the standalone player, but I've been pretty pleased with the ActiveX Control that loads in IE... it loads instantly, and you can view movies while they are partially downloaded.

Re:So just use something everyone has...

[NanoGator]

Um no, let's clear a few things up:

MPEG (1 I assume?) is capped at 352 by 240something. Plus its' compression isn't as good as modern codecs.

Quicktime is not proprietary crap, it's actually very good for things such as movie trailers. Plus, it's both PC and Mac. Some of us artist types think that's important.

Real's viewer stinks, which is a bummer since it has cool development tools, good bit per quality ratio and great a great servers olution.

MS has a better viewer than Real, and is about the same on the other points I brought up.

DivX is pretty cool but for mass market there aren't enough people with it installed.

Bink is like MPEG2, and it's slow as heck to compress. But the quality is good, it can play back on slower computers, and it has some kick ass options for viewing like making it executable. (Which also makes people paranoid about viruses. Heh.)

So no, MPEG1 does not 'make everybody happy'. Why you got a +1 for that I'll never know. Trust me, if it were that simple, they'd all be using it. However, every codec and viewer has their advantages.

This is the sorta thing you become knowledgable about when you actually make videos.

Re:So just use something everyone has...

[Anonymous Coward]

Where the fuck did you get that resolution limit? 352x240 is the NTSC VCD resolution and it is by no means the limit for the format. I commonly encode so called XVCD's at 720x480 at 2250kbps, and it's absolutely gorgeous. While MPEG1 may not be the most technically superior format, it is the most standardized and can easily produce very satisfactory results at a given bitrate. And btw, your limited experience producing cheesy star trek meshes hardly qualifies you as a connoisseur of digital video compression, and it is painfully clear when you blather on about a limitation that only exists as rhetoric for an argument to defend your hurt ego.

Re:So just use something everyone has...

[NanoGator]

Whatever.

Btw, I've never made a Star Trek mesh. Heh.

Re:So just use something everyone has...

[squiggleslash]

MPEG 1 has a maximum resolution of, IIRC, 16384x16384,the resolution you're quoting is VCD resolution which is an MPEG stream that conforms to certain restrictions (resolution of 352x240ish, fps, bitrate, etc.) I regularly reencode DVDs I own (that haven't been CSSed) to a little under 500x390 because that's the optimal speed/resolution combo for MPlayer on my 300MHz laptop. (People who want to do this should check out FFMpeg, which is awesome for this kind of thing.) I'd agree it's not a good streaming media format, but there's two other MPEGs, and one, MPEG4, certainly is.

Quicktime may not be proprietry per-se but the latest codecs for it are. It runs on Windows and Mac, not PC and Mac - Linux, the BSDs, BeOS, etc, do not have players available and it's up to Apple to make such players available - they'll sue anyone who tries to do it themselves. Overall, that makes any QT stream using Soressen,etc, for all intents and purposes proprietry and non-cross platform. QT without the latest codecs or MPEG4 is much, much, uglier than older RealPlayers, I strongly doubt you're proposing the use of QT with a non-proprietry codec, and if you were proposing MPEG4 I'm pretty sure you'd have said that.

Finally, Windows doesn't come with QuickTime, and Real is bundled with certain webbrowsers, so picking QT over DivX on the grounds that "not enough people have it installed" looks a little absurd in my book.

Until Apple do the decent thing and either open up their codecs, port them to more platforms, or maybe even produce a Java version of their player (god help us!) I don't think it's reasonable to treat it as non-proprietry. Probably the best codec to use right now, because it genuinely is cross platform and the spec is open, is MPEG4. QT6 and WMP support it natively, Real plans to make their's compatable with it, and there are free-software solutions in programs like MPlayer. And it's very high quality.

Re:So just use something everyone has...

[autopr0n]

QuickTime is not proprietary crap, it's actually very good for things such as movie trailers. Plus, it's both PC and Mac. Some of us artist types think that's important.

I know it's often used for movie trailers, much to my annoyance. But why exactly is it "quite good"? Because apple will provide free hosting? MPEG or MPEG4 would work just as well IMO.

Look I don't care about what makes a video easy to 'make' I want something that will be easy to view on any computer. And the best bet for that right now is MPEG(no, the res is not capped).

DivX is nice, but you can't really call it non-proprietary these days. The last release actualy included spyware...

Re:So just use something everyone has...

[NanoGator]

Well, I can give you two reasons why I chose Quicktime over the otehr codecs mentioned once:

Let me explain, I made a 3D Animation that used a lot of soft colors and details that I wanted to show people on a forum I frequent. I ended up using Quicktime with Sorenson 3.

It had two distinct advantages over the other codecs (DivX, Real, WMP, and so on)...

1.) The image quality was pretty damn good. The artifacts didn't destroy what I was trying to show like they did with the other codecs.

2.) You can seek through it VERY fast. As I said, I wanted to show this on an art forum. The was the final result of talk I was giving on aspects of animation to think about. So I wanted somebody to be able to seek through it and look at a particular frame. In my experiments, QT was the best for that for what I had at the time.

Now, let me be clear about something: I'm not saying QT's better than anything else. I'm not saying everybody should use it. All I'm saying is that for what I had, it was the best choice for me. If you like MPEG, hey go have fun with it. It's just not my first choice. Me personally, I like DivX 5.

Yeah looks like I'm wrong about MPEG. It kinda bugs me because I read matter of factly "MPEG1 has a resolution limit...". What I was reading was about the codec, not about VideoCD's. So it looks like that wherever I read they, they got their details messed up. Here's an example of a site that has lead me down that read:

http://www.vcdhelp.com/mpeg2.htm#MPEG1

*ShruG* Not something I'm going to go down in a bloody death defending. ;)

Re:So just use something everyone has...

[MrNiCeGUi]

The spyware is only for the pro version of the encoder (so it could still be free for those who do not want to pay for it). The decoder, as well as the standard version of the encoder were always free (as in beer) and non-spyware.
I'll give you the bit about it being proprietary, though.

mmmm...

[autopr0n]

That Ani Moller has a sexy accent.

the ellen feiss one ...

[Anonymous Coward]

100% l'arte bolognese

Re:the ellen feiss one ...

[Anonymous Coward]

> caressing their penises by artful cunnilingus

cunnilingus???

I think you mean felatio, fuckwit!

ultimate switch parody

[ceejayoz]

The ultimate "Switch" parody has to be this one - one by Billy G. himself!

Scripts

[Anonymous Coward]

I took the time to type up the scripts because I thought they were funny. If you can download the videos, it's worth the wait and pain of using quicktime.

------------

So when I started using linux, all the people were talking about was emacs. You know emacs, emacs, emacs!
It does everything. I'd type in emacs, and I'd wait for it to load. I'd wait a really long time.
And I mean, my pinky started to hurt. You know the ctrl-alt-meta-escape thing.
So eventually my system administrator suggested that I try vi, so that other people could log into the machine.
So, I tried out vi, and it was really fast, and it was really good, and I loved it.
And my pinky stopped hurting. -- holds up hands, spells out VI -- Vee Eye
vi/switch
Chris DiBona, and I'm an editor for Slashdot.

------------

I've been using python for years, to pretty much everything.
And life was pretty good. And then my space bar broke... and then my tab key broke...
So then I couldn't use Python anymore. So I had to switch programming languages.
I work with Geeslin, Young, and Serrati. SO I picked perl, it seemed pretty natural. In fact, perl seemed natural.
I mean, it did pretty much what I ment all of the time. Even if I didn't know what I ment.
I mean, I get to macho code. I have job security, and I get to use all the keys on my keyboard... It's nice.
perl.com/switch
Hi, I'm David Asher, and I'm a developer for active state.

------------

You know, I never thought that I would make the switch but,
I've heard it was something that people did, and it was something that I wanted to try out.
There's so much more room to grow, everything runs so much cooler, and I find it so much more intuitive.
I have the freedom that I've always sort of wanted, and it fits my life sytle, just better... and I love it, I love it.
boxers/switch
Hi, my name is Ken Willaims, and I wear boxers.

------------

Ahh... white space... Ohhh
Byte code... byte code! I mean, it actually compiles to byte code.
Guido van Rossen is just so much cooler then Larry.
Larry Wall, what's that? 5.. 4.. 9 letters.
Guido van Rossen, I mean, that's definately into the double digits.
I mean, he's even longer than Larry. Wall, what kind of name is Wall? Now Rossen, that's a name!
-- turns around and begins talking with his ass cheeks --
This is my ass! My ass likes Python!
-- ass talking -- Hahahahar, python good! nanannanananaaaa
-- turns back around --
Ohh, and then there's all the cool Monty Python jokes. Because I love monty python so-oo much.
I mean, that dead knight guy who wouldn't die. Ohh... that kills me every time.
I'm so sick of camels... what is it with camels? Camels in the desert, oasis...
Yawn, yawn, yawn! I want a sexy, sleek... phallic?! Wait... excuse me.
python.org/switch
Nat Torkington, pron star

------------

So my dad had this linux box that I used to use for programming assignments.
I just like hacked all night using vi, gcc, perl, you know all that stuff.
Window managers... desktop managers... editors...
You had to be like a computer scientists, just to like even pick something.
And that's why I switched to Windows XP.
I mean, it's sooo much simpler. All my decisions have been made for me.
There are only 3 color schemes to choose from!
And really, if I want to pick colors, I'm going to paint my toe.
You know, all that glittery stuff... glow in the dark...
I mean there are just so many shades of pink.
So right, XP, simple... it's easy for a girl to grok... or something.
Sure, it crashes now and thing, but you know, you just push the, you know, button thinggy.
I mean, you know the one, the button thingy.
xp/switch.
I'm Sarah Burcham, blog news

------------

Re:Scripts

[Anonymous Coward]

> Chris DiBona, and I'm an editor for Slashdot.

Lol, that was a good one.

I'd switch to Apple / OSX Tomorrow...

[Verizon Guy]

...If I get to bone that Ellen Feiss. God damn she is a hottie. Shoot, she didn't have to switch to a PowerBook... I would have gone over and fixed her PC for her... uh huh huh huh huh....

"Beavis, I think I have seen the light... uh huh huh huh huh huh...." ;-)

Re:I'd switch to Apple / OSX Tomorrow...

[Anonymous Coward]

Dude, she's like, 14.

Re:I'd switch to Apple / OSX Tomorrow...

[Anonymous Coward]

If she's old enough to crawl...well...she's in the right position already.

Re:I'd switch to Apple / OSX Tomorrow...

[Anonymous Coward]

Hey, if there's grass on the field, play ball.

If she's old enough to go to the store, she's old enough to buy the bread.

Re:I'd switch to Apple / OSX Tomorrow...

[Afrosheen]

You're an easy man to impress...I took one look at that page and nearly lost my cookies. That dopey look, those gigantic teeth, just...frightening.

Then again I married a woman from Thailand so my concept of beauty probably doesn't match the average american's.

Re:I'd switch to Apple / OSX Tomorrow...

[Verizon Guy]

Then again I married a woman from Thailand so my concept of beauty probably doesn't match the average american's.

Let me guess -- you were in one of those famous Bangkok brothels and realized that a cheap whore is probably the closest you'll ever come to female genitalia in your life, and said "let me get married while I have the chance." Right?

Does it work similar to those "Russian Brides for Sale" transactions on the web?

Re:I'd switch to Apple / OSX Tomorrow...

[Anonymous Coward]

Maybe the guy who wrote this comment is 14. Would it be ok then?

Re:I'd switch to Apple / OSX Tomorrow...

[Anonymous Coward]

Wow, that is rude. First you insult this poor girl who happens to be in an ad. In fact, you feel it's fine to say she is so ugly you almost threw up. How about a link to your picture so we can see how you look? Or have we already in all those goatse.cx links?

Then you try to brag about marrying a Thai woman so that you can seem exotic and elitist. I wonder if your wife knows you brag about her ethnicity on the internet?

Re:I'd switch to Apple / OSX Tomorrow...

[Anonymous Coward]

The 'poor girl who happens to be in an ad' is a paid spokesperson, they could have at least picked some girl that didn't look high.

Your opinion would actually matter if you took the five seconds to register. ACs get no respect and the lamer who was defending his hard-on for a very young 14 year old girl got his instant troll status. Scared of losing points yourself? Yeah, trolling anonymously can be fun right.

Hmm! Interesting

[Anonymous Coward]

Chris's (strunk & white says I should use the 's) video is the only one that seems almost like the real thing. The other 2 I looked at were utter garbage.

WARNING! GOATSE LINK!

[Anonymous Coward]

Don't click on that link. You'll be sorry if you do.

Re:WARNING! GOATSE LINK!

[Anonymous Coward]

Even worse, it's a flick of a girl talking about her "BEEP BEEP BEEP, it ate my paper... yeah.. it was big.. yea.. my computer ate it all up.. "

Re:Emacs better than VI?

[Anonymous Coward]

Yes, while you're doing the same adminmonkey tasks that you'll be doing 30 years from now.

Parodies suffering from "The Dennis Miller ratio"

[LordOfYourPants]

It's parodies like this that make me ashamed to tell people that "I'm into computers." Can any of you honestly say that you burst out laughing upon seeing any of these parodies? I only watched 3 of them, but I'm assuming that the rest were just as "funny".

As an example of dialog in one of the shorts..

"My pinkie started to hurt with the ctrl-alt-meta-esc thing. . .My system administrator said I should try vi"

I don't mind the small appeal the joke may have to people that are "in the know" and "get" that emacs requires quite a bit of ctrling, but even if you are in the know, it's not all that funny.

So why bother? You are simply banking the entire one minute parody on the fact that people will laugh because they recognize something that most other computer users won't. I'm not saying there shouldn't be computer-oriented parodies, but they should rely on a bit more than specialized knowledge.

Hrm...

[autopr0n]

Compared to some of the other ones posted in this thread, the O'Riley switch parodies really suck. You guys really need to learn how to adjust the audio and gamma...

Using people who are not hideously ugly might help. Btw, was that chick pregnant or just fat?

Re:Hrm...

[dvdeug]

Using people who are not hideously ugly might help. Btw, was that chick pregnant or just fat?

I agree. The first thing we should judge anyone who intends to leave their house on should be physical beauty. No one cares if what your personality is like, or how skilled you are. If you aren't extraordinarly attractive, just stay inside.
</sarcasm>

Re:Hrm...

[Large Green Mallard]

If you're talking about the Sarah one..have you had your eyes tested lately? :P

Oh, and...

[autopr0n]

What exactly can you do with a mac that you can't do with a PC? Act all elitest?

Re:Oh, and...

[scrod]

run an OS that doesn't have to search the entire hard drive after you move the target of a shortcut? Don't tempt me. I have plenty more.

Re:Oh, and...

[Anonymous Coward]

Wow, if they are as good as that one, we can expect some real zingers!!!

Re:Oh, and...

[Anonymous Coward]

oh wait I know...how about emptying your wallet 3 times as fast?

Fewer software options, higher repair/upgrade bills...

hell, if billy boy hadn't got himself in those legal troubles, he never would have had to bail out apple...

Re:Oh, and...

[Verizon Guy]

run an OS that doesn't have to search the entire hard drive after you move the target of a shortcut? Don't tempt me. I have plenty more.

Now way?! Holy shit! I've got to switch to MacOS now! Apple's got to start going after details like that... it would work like Joe Fucking Camel on kids!

Re:Oh, and...

[Anonymous Coward]

Use the most lickable OS around

Re:Oh, and...

[scrod]

Yeah, you'd think they would've thought of that a decade ago or something.

"Sarcasm is the recourse of a weak mind"

Re:Oh, and...

[Lars T.]

Oh, you can do that much better on a PC - and faster too.

Re:Oh, and...

[Anonymous Coward]

I'm a devoted Mac user, yet I run MS Office.

flamebait?

[autopr0n]

Yeh, okay...

Porn Stars? Apple beat you to it.

[MasterVidBoi]

Macworld New York Stream, starts 1 minute 10 seconds into the show.

http://stream.qtv.apple.com/events/jul/keynote/m wn y_mp4_2_28_56_100_300_ref.mov

Mod Parent Up

[Verizon Guy]

Hahaha!! that is sooooo true. I loved it when he mentioned the "Puzzle" game on the apple menu.... I actually thought of it before I watched the clip.

I remember back in the grade school days when we thought Macs were the shit cause they had BreakOut/KnockOut on them. We would play that stupid, worthless game for hours! :-)

Apple controls the conversation

[burgburgburg]

The sheer width and breadth of the Switch parodies just goes to show: Apple really does control the conversation. It has the mindshare.

An article on Yahoo News today about Northgate's new "challenge" to Apple with their all-in-one computer/home multimedia machine (Personally, I think it looks sort of a combo iMac/eMac ... an eiMac) was the latest example to my mind.

Flat screens were unusual and esoteric. Apple makes them defacto with the iMac; now they are expected, necessary. MP3 players externally were the size of walkmen (and internally not much better then zip disks), connected via USB (if you were lucky) and were incredibly kludgy. Out comes the iPod; everyone is racing to remake/top them.

I remember when the beige computer makers tried to reinvent their products with translucent plastic as if that was the key to the original iMac/G3s. I remember how desperate and sad Windows 1 - 3.1 were in their attempts to approach the simple elegance of the Mac OS. I remember how many Gnome/KDE Aqua themes were floating about (and still are, slightly under the radar) after OS X was unveiled.

My point: however much Linux drives the geek masses forward in their open source quest, Apple is the internalized mental image that a majority of people hold when they think of the next step in computing. Not just civilians: examine the Aqua themed page that you're reading right now.

(For every "too damn expensive, one button mouse" geek dismisser, I wonder how many are willing to admit that they drool at night at the thought of owning a TI Powerbook, and wish they could have back all the months it took them to try and configure their window manager to approach the functionality of Aqua out of the box).

Re:Apple controls the conversation

[Artifex]

I wonder how many are willing to admit that they drool at night at the thought of owning a TI Powerbook

I probably would have gotten one years ago if TI really was the manufacturer (they used to make some of the best laptops on the market, and have experience in making things rugged from their decades as a defense contractor).

As it is, I still want to get a Mac after I get another job, but I'm unsure whether to get a desktop or laptop right now. I could use a new laptop, but, I'm sorry, naming a laptop after the material it's made from is pretty funny, and smacks of conspicuous consumption. It's almost like an SUV with Greenpeace stickers, or a vegan leather dyke. Besides, if you stick to that convention, wouldn't you have a "recycled plastic emac" line, too? =)

Re:Apple controls the conversation

[GutBomb]

apple does not use the monicker TiBook. They call it the PowerBook G4. it is the users that call it the TiBook.

Re:Apple controls the conversation

[lawyer boy]

(Personally, I think it looks sort of a combo iMac/eMac ... an eiMac)

Shouldn't that be an i.e.Mac?

Re:Apple controls the conversation

[Sycraft-fu]

No, I htink the real reason that Apple ad parodies are so common is because most people, PC or Mac user, find the ads insulting and pathetic. It is almost as if Apple found all the biggest bunch of morons and blithering malcontents they could and got them together as an attempt to show why to switch to Mac.

This has not been the winning strategy some seem to think.

PC users are offended because the ads are amazingly condecending and arrogant. Many Mac users are offended because they hate being associated with such a bunch of whiners and idiots. Well, some people then decide to have a little fun with it, and whip out a parody.

I really think that this advertising campaign is by far the worst Apple has ever done and one of the worse ones I've seen. Their Think Different ads were cool, they made a statement (and were widely copied) without being insulting to either side. These seem to make a statement by being insulting to both sides.

" wonder how many are willing to admit that they drool at night at the thought of owning a TI Powerbook, and wish they could have back all the months it took them to try and configure their window manager to approach the functionality of Aqua out of the box"

Well with an attitude like that, you might just be a good candidate for a switch ad. You seem to be very self righetous about owning a Mac, and very ignorant of the computing population at large. Believe it or not many people use PCs because they really do work just as well or better than a Mac for them. I personally don't long to own any Mac products, my choice of a PC was an informed one and it works well for me. If a Mac works well for you, great, but take teh blinders off your eyes and stop assuming that everyone (or even most people) secretly wants a Mac.

Re:Apple controls the conversation

[Anonymous Coward]

"conspicuous consumption" -- What the fuck are you babbling about?

Re:Apple controls the conversation

[Anonymous Coward]

Admit it! You want one!

Re:Apple controls the conversation

[Artifex]

apple does not use the monicker TiBook. They call it the PowerBook G4. it is the users that call it the TiBook.

If the users call it "TiBook" or "Ti Book" or "Ti Powerbook," that's all fine by me. "Ti" is the proper abbreviation for titanium. However, when they say "TI Powerbook," they make it look like it's a TI product, and that's wrong. That's all I was really trying to say. =)

exactly.

[autopr0n]

Dude, 5 minutes of hair, makeup, and wardrobe would have made these people presentable. It wouldn't have hurt if they practiced their little bits and actualy had something funny to say.

Re:exactly.

[Anonymous Coward]

My 'little bits' are well practised, why bother with the rest?

Re:exactly.

[ealar dlanvuli]

Because how you look is 50% of how well you do.
the rest is 25% social skills, 25% work skill/effort.

switch of a different kind

[Anonymous Coward]

ok i made a mistake and actually followed some links in the article.
follow the link ' Rael Dornfest in his blog'
then the boingboinger link and then the animal dildos link

Slashdot;news for nerds, toys for perverts?

by the way: how do i convert inch to cm

apple.com/switch should become apple.com/wesue

[Adrian Lopez]

Speaking of Switch parodies, one of the reasons I refuse to switch over to Macs is Apple's disgustingly litigious attitude. This website was forced by Apple's lawyers to take down their parody of the switch campaign, if there's any truth to the webmasters claims. I wonder how long these other parody sites will last.

Re:apple.com/switch should become apple.com/wesue

[Malicious]

You can still find this fine parody over at PunchBaby.com

Re:apple.com/switch should become apple.com/wesue

[SamBeckett]

Uhh that wasn't so much as a parody as it was a legitimate Apple advertisement with annoying pop-ups placed all over the place.

Re:apple.com/switch should become apple.com/wesue

[dvdeug]

This website [lickmysweaty.com] was forced by Apple's lawyers to take down their parody of the switch campaign

If it's the one linked to slashdot that has linkmysweaty.com's name in it, it used an entire commerical of Apple's, instead of making their own. That's crossing a major line, legally.

Switch time?

[dimator]

After watching all of the switch ads, especially this one, maybe its time for me to switch?

But I'm running kde3 now, and fancy UI effects don't impress me much. Add to that the organs I have to sell on the black market to afford some nice Apple hardware, and the interest doesn't seem justified.

Re:Switch time?

[FunkSoulBrother]

this isn't everything2, you don't need to make pointless links in your post.

Yeh, well.

[autopr0n]

It works for me pretty well right now, but I've had trouble with it in the past. Like when it ate the mime association for PNG and BMP files. If I tried to go to a .png URI it would load the whole thing scaled to the size of the window and I couldn't save. PNGs in pages used IE's internal renderer and didn't have a problem

Then there was the time when closing a QuickTime subwindow would kill IE and close every browser window I had open... Got to a page with a QuickTime move, go back or close the window, loose all the surf sessions. It was annoying as fuck.

And lots of other times it just didn't work. Id rather just not deal with it. What's wrong with MPEG? I'd rather have a 10% larger file or whatever then deal with all this crap

Re:Yeh, well.

[Verizon Guy]

Right... QuickTime is like Real in that it likes to take over every mimetype imaginable on the system. I set it to only associate to MOVs and QTs.... you're right; it IS annoying as fuck.

I may be biased...

[Nogami_Saeko]

Because I work in the Film and Television industry, and do this stuff day in and day out, but DAMN...

At the bare minimum, get a farking Microphone and a couple of lights...

Sarah?

[Laplace]

Is that you? The one I went to school with? Sorry to say, dear, but you're looking like shit. Get out. See the sun. Exercise a bit. You used to be cute!

(not trolling this time, she's an ol' wustl bud of mine. heh heh)

Re:Sarah?

[Anonymous Coward]

You read Slashdot. Try looking at yourself in the mirror first.

Yeh okay...

[autopr0n]

Maybe there are a lot of switch ads because people find them annoying and stupid?

An article [yahoo.com] on Yahoo News today about Northgate's new "challenge" to Apple with their all-in-one computer/home multimedia machine [northgate.com] (Personally, I think it looks sort of a combo iMac/eMac ... an eiMac) was the latest example to my mind.

Well of course you do. But to me, it just looks like any other 'all in one' PC. There's no rounded bulb like the old school imac/emac, there's no swivel stand like the new imacs. There are lots of

MP3 players externally were the size of walkmen (and internally not much better then zip disks), connected via USB (if you were lucky) and were incredibly kludge. Out comes the iPod; everyone is racing to remake/top them.

That's not true either. There were, and still are, a lot of mp3 players that were a lot smaller then the iPod, True all of the 'hard drive' mp3 players around were big and clunky, but not all mp3 players.

Yeh, the iPod has a nice design, but it's hardly the end-all, be-all that Mac zealots seem to think it is. A nice refinement, but hardly revolutionary

(For every "too damn expensive, one button mouse" geek dismisser, I wonder how many are willing to admit that they drool at night at the thought of owning a TI Powerbook, and wish they could have back all the months it took them to try and configure their window manager to approach the functionality of Aqua out of the box).

No, my Sony Vaio SR is good enough for me, and smaller and lighter then an ibook with all the video editing capabilities (Firewire and all). And yes, it has more then two buttons.

Re:Yeh okay...

[Saint Fnordius]

Maybe there are a lot of switch ads because people find them annoying and stupid?

There are a lot of annoying and stupid ads out there. Why are we all so fixated on Apple's? Why do these incredibly ordinary-looking people come across so, well, ugly and unskilled?

My guess is because of Apple's place in the public's eye. People have been told again and again that only savvy paople and hard-core artists use Macs. Apple's new campaign is trying to dismantle the "artsy fartsy freak" image and show totally average people with all of their foibles.

And I think the real reason people react so badly to the commercial is because most pictures of "real people" try to gloss over their blemishes. This one highlights them mercilessly. Not what you expect in an age of wardrobe departments, hair stylists and Photoshopping.

After all, how many parodies of the flying XP users did we see mentioned on Slashdot?

Re:Emacs better than VI?

[Anonymous Coward]

Vi old? Vi similar to Pascal? Please give these fellow cowards a copy of any linux distro otherwise they will claim that XP and Java are the "new & cool" thing!

The Blue Screen of Death

[Malicious]

This is one of my favorites, not because it's a parody, but because it's a brutalization of one of the origional Ads. Makes it more funny in my mind.
It's also a WMV file

*mild content warning*
Punchbaby.com Apple Parody

Re:The Blue Screen of Death

[Nogami_Saeko]

THANK YOU - THANK YOU - THANK YOU!

If I had moderator status right now, you'd be getting a +1 for "insightful" ;P

This one is a keeper (and completely accurate IMHO).

Lol

Re:The Blue Screen of Death

[Anonymous Coward]

Christ, Darwins law kills fucktards not tobacco!

p.s. there's a badly beaten man in a rat suit on 15th and Lawrence St.

Re:The Blue Screen of Death

[Anonymous Coward]

That was good. That's the only Switch commercial that actually bothered me (that I've seen). The other ones are tollerable, but not that one ;).

If anyone is unsure if MPlayer will play it (as I was, since I normally only download DivX and MPEG files): yes it will.

I would like to see

[Anonymous Coward]

"I'm Michael Sims, and I'm unemployed."

You seem to be wrong.

[autopr0n]

Well, I just tried that out and all I can say is that if it only takes a 3rd of a second to search a 30 gig hard drive my computer must be pretty god damn fast!

Anyway, I asked what you could do not what you could do slightly faster on a mac that you couldn't on a PC.

Re:You seem to be wrong.

[scrod]

No, you asked a stupid question, and you got a stupid answer. I mean, it's not like I care what you personally think, but generally stupid questions should be indicated as such. Software is software, and any abitrary piece of code can be duplicated, simulated, or imitated on any other computing platform (hell where would Microsoft be today if that weren't true?). The question isn't what you can do, it's how well you can do it. Though I suppose anything that works is "good enough" for sheep^H^H^H^H^HWindows users.

Re:You seem to be wrong.

[Verizon Guy]

Mac folks seem to keep forgetting the fact that if it wasn't for Microsoft, Apple would have been down the tubes long ago. You can go on and on about superiority, blah, blah... no one really cares. The truth of the matter is that Microsoft could have pulled the plug on Apple long ago if they really wanted to. But they didn't --- Apple is a niche market, and not so much as a competitor as it was back it... umm.. was it ever really a competitor? 84 maybe?

Anyway, Bill Gates and Co. have put lots of bling-bling into Apple if you know what I mean.

"My name is scrod, and I'm an elitist asshole."

<fade to black>

apple.com/switch

Re:You seem to be wrong.

[Anonymous Coward]

There are a population of people out there who will, by nature, tend toward the underdog/alternative.

M$ keeps Apple around because that is the underdog they control and profit from. Were they to squash Apple then the other alternative might become a viable desktop.

Linux might take off. And that is their nightmare.

No, Bill likes his lapdog...

Down, Steve!!

Re:You seem to be wrong.

[Lars T.]

I have a real computer. Not a MAC. I don't want a MAC, I want a real computer that is not gay.

I call myself the Verizon Guy, and I'm unemployed.

Re:You seem to be wrong.

[Anonymous Coward]

Wait, where are the "plenty more" you promised in message #3963181?

Re:You seem to be wrong.

[Anonymous Coward]

Mac folks seem to keep forgetting the fact that if it wasn't for Microsoft, Apple would have been down the tubes long ago

Exactly when did this happen? If you're refering to the $150 mil stock purchase, Apple had 2 billion in liquid assets at the time and wasn't in the need of being "saved" from the likes of Microsoft.

"My name is Verison Guy, and if you didn't pick it up from my dumb commercials, I'm a stupid fuckhead who need to be hit with a shutgun blast to the gut"

Switch to Macs.

[The_Shadows]

Using Macs. It's like Iceland.

Re:Porn Stars? Apple beat you to it.

[rakslice]

Dead link. 404... Got another one?

Oh, look

[Laplace]

chrisd is posting it, and he is featured in one of the "funny" switch ads. how cute.

sweet.

[autopr0n]

some mod that up.

"I couldn't find the any key and e-machines told me to go fuck myself"

Brilliant.

Re:sweet.

[Anonymous Coward]

how about the "i eat babies. they are tasty."

Bait and Switch

[KFury]

Another parody, combining 'switch' and the '.mac' debacle...

Yeah, I know it's a self-link, but.. well... mod me down if it's not funny.

Re:Bait and Switch

[gmhowell]

Business contacts, okay. Hot women? Don't you have phone numbers for both of them? Or does the TRO prevent that?

Seriously, I like it. It made me laugh.

Re:Bait and Switch

[KFury]

Yeah. 'Jeb' (the character I played) gives out his email a lot, and is sure that torrent of emails from the hot women in bars are just about to roll in.

But I think the point still stands. :-)

Well fantastic for you!

[autopr0n]

To bad apple didn't give me the choice a few years ago. Yes, they are better now but burned bridges are still burnned, and MPEG is still easier to deal with.

Re:Well fantastic for you!

[NanoGator]

I think this thread mutated from it's original point. I didn't mean to start an 'I Hate MPEG' thread. Heh. I was just saying that each codec has it's ups and downs. DivX, for the moment, gives you the most pixels per bit. But most people don't have it installed and the perception is that they're too lazy/stupid/unwilling to. So sometimes it's not the most useful choice. That make sense?

dorks

[Anonymous Coward]

nice quality on the mov's jackasses... just let apple dig their own grave, don't jump on the sinking ship yourself.

Meetup was fun.

[snoozebutton]

Meetup was fun.

No, watch the video.

[autopr0n]

Emacs : Vi :: Unix : XP. Not the other way around. Also, change your sig. April 27th is long gone...

Re:No, watch the video.

[leviramsey]

Yeah, I posted before watching the video...

I may have been away from /. for several months (since before the blackout), but I think I've gotten back into the mindset.

PS: great site!

Duty to disclose

[Anonymous Coward]

Ok. This is not like a big smoking gun or
anything, but the /. editor who posted this
story APPEARS in one of the ads. Big deal
you say? I think that in all cases, no matter
how small the relation, the editor should
disclose that he has a personal connection
to the article subject. This include humorous
pieces.

Call me anal, but I don't like being surprised
by the media I consume.

MAC USERS SUCK BIG HAIRY 8====D

[Anonymous Coward]

Anonymous Coward banned from SlashCode.com!

[Anonymous Coward]

The site janitors were forced to disable AC posting after a wave of crude trolling. The lameness filter is still broken and the IP ban is a joke. Try 209.32.210.14 as a proxy, or go to antiproxy.com for a larger list.

IAgreeWithThisPost

[Anonymous Coward]

Emacs is the editor of choice for Filthy Free Software Hippies. vi roolz

Re:Parodies suffering from "The Dennis Miller rati

[Anonymous Coward]

Well these parodies were mostly made for geeks and posted on a web site (OReillyNet.com) that's geared towards programmers and system administrators and the normal "John Doe" user wouldn't go there.

If you follow the link that sends you to a google search for the apple parodies you will find some really funny ones...

Re:Porn Stars? Apple beat you to it.

[TechnoPops]

The address above has an erroneous space. Here it is corrected and linkified for your convenience.

Re:Parodies suffering from "The Dennis Miller rati

[Anonymous Coward]

I "got" these jokes and I barely cracked a half-smile. The apple/switch ones are funnier, like the ellen feiss student.

BTW remap capslock -> ctrl.

Re:i switched.

[Anonymous Coward]

I'm gonna puke

Well

[The Cat]

I'd say the ad campaign worked.

Commercials

[Anonymous Coward]

Commericals...Commercials..Hmm..sounds vaguely familiar.

Maybe it has something to do with that big, dark, dusty, lo-res monitor thing in the corner.

Now, pop-unders, that I remember.

Is that chick high?

[Aqua OS X]

Man... she looks baaaaked ;) Red squinty eyes, slow speech, and the use of the word "bummer"

Re:Is that chick high?

[Verizon Guy]

Duuuuuuuude! I bet she has an Apple® iBong with the new translucent look.

I indeed dream of a TiBook... with 3 buttons!

[Quietti]

The day Apple will adopt the 3-button mouse and copy/paste methods of X11 is when I will buy myself a Mac. Until that day, screw Apple; a single-button mouse or touch pad doesn't cut it.

Yes, I love Macs (I always have, ever since the first Classic in the 80's). No, until recently, I could never afford even second-hand ones. Now that I have the money to buy SGI stuff if I want, I still think that the 3-button X11 system should be standardized throughout the computer industry, on all OS platforms. Having Jobs listen to its users and release the eMac with a non-educational license would help too, for my home desktop. Since the TiBook doesn't support the 3-button X11 methoods, I'm checking out PC alternatives to use with OpenBSD on X11, instead.

Re:I indeed dream of a TiBook... with 3 buttons!

[kyrre]

The copy and paste method of X11 is nice. But you don't need a three button mouse on the mac. You can copy by selecting, apple+c, and paste with apple+v. This works with all applications. On X11 I've cursed more than once after copying a link only to have the copy promptly replaced by the current link when clicking on the Mozilla link box.

I know one can select and middle click to open pages, but sometimes I'd like to edit the link before I go there.

If ctrl+c, or apple+c works with all applications I prefer that way. Of course, select and middle click is really nice in console mode with gpm, but thats not an issue with os x.

If you want three buttons, buy yourself an usb mouse.

Having Jobs listen to its users and release the eMac with a non-educational license would help too, for my home desktop.

Home users can buy the eMac.

my commercial (i'm a gamer)

[Anonymous Coward]

i'm a gamer. i live on first person shooters and rpgs and even the occasional platformer. i've switched from my psx2 and xbox to a nice dual powermac g4. i only have 4 games right now but i'm sure more will come to this cute candy-raver plastic toy. it's certainly better than the last apple set-top box. with all the power at such a low price, i know i made the best price in the future of gaming.

mov

[loz]

apparantly I have to switch to something that can handle .mov files

loz

The funniest switch parody is by Apple itself

[Anonymous Coward]

Ellen Feiss. Someone down at Apple marketing said "We need more skanky crack whores buying macs".

is this dude CG ?

[green pizza]

Maybe it's my gamma setting, but that dude almost looks as though he was computer generated!

MPEG Conversion?

[lpontiac]

Pretty please? Somebody?

stoned/hungover chick...

[green pizza]

At least we know Jobs has a sense of humor!

Thanks /.

[theolein]

You made my saturday morning funny.

Funniest of the clips ... and it's not streaming

[Anonymous Coward]

Definitely look at this one. It hits below the belt, and at the same time isn't juvenile like some of the earlier ones. It kills me when he mumbles "photoshop".

I imagine Jobs wasn't too happy when he saw this.

eMac available outside educational world

[Quietti]

Good that they changed that "for students only" license reminescnet of the Next box. However, their 1099 USD price doesn't compute. By the time I check out local Finnish retailers, I actually goes for 1500 EUR, instead of the expected 1150 EUR.

As the the keyboared shortcuts on Mac, yep, I know them. I simply find the X11 3-button trick much more efficient; it also happens to be supported on every UNIX variant I have tried. So, you like CTRL-something shortcuts, I prefer X11 mouse actions; Apples and Oranges (pun intended). To everyone their own cup of tea.

Fuck Quicktime!

[Anonymous Coward]

Am I supposed to switch to quicktime, or Mac OS on one of their ugly computers? I'm tired of running across .MOV files where ever I go. Just because you have a Mac doesn't mean you can force your poor choice of multimedia on me. Try using MPEG, it's the technology behind all those stolen MP3s you have on your iPod.

much too young

[Alric]

I don't know how old she is or how old you are, but Ms. Feiss looks quite young. She is still high school.

Wait till she's in college (but before she packs on the extra pounds). Then she'll be perfect for you to lust after and/or stalk.

Emacs to VI

[bsd-mon]

Ha! AOL!

pinky pain, and load time (esp. on 33.6k dialup) were the main reasons I left emacs too.

Real Mature

[Anonymous Coward]

Either way you're gay.

Either way, you bit this troll. I'm sure you'll want to bite my cock if it didn't agree with you're flawed logic.

Secret to BillG's success is now out

[Anonymous Coward]

Because how you look is 50% of how well you do.
the rest is 25% social skills, 25% work skill/effort.

Yeah, I think that's Bill Gates' mantra. Good thing he spent so much time on his looks all these years, it really seems to have worked for him.

Thanks for clueing us in, guru...

Re:Secret to BillG's success is now out

[ealar dlanvuli]

Bill G looks exactly the way he wants to, a suit and 90$ haircut aern't the isn't the only way to look good. I'm sure Bill choose the nerdy look because it allows him to catch other buisness persons offguard when he steps up and plays world class executive after making them downplay him (proy dosen't work so well anymore, but I'm sure it worked very well once upon a time). Also I've never heard of Bill G as being a bad dresser, I've heard he dresses slightly nerdy, but nerdy isn't bad, it's just not powersuit and stylist following him around all day.

I guarntee until your friends with your boss/co-workers the better looking person who gets along with everyone looks better in the managments eyes. Starting as the messy dreser vs the guy who irons his well matched (not really expensive/powersuit) outfit and has a decent haircut, the decent looking guy is above you. Naturally once everyone knows eachother well it's less important, but your appearance is the first thing people see about you when you make a first impression.

I seem to have done pretty well by following the rule 'always dress better than your co-workers, and do more work than them', so I would feel safe advising it on other people. If your milage varied, good for you, but for me I'll continue dressing just slightly below my managments outfit because it works for me.

Re:Pantywaists among the elitist assholes

[Anonymous Coward]

Apple managed to conscript annoying wusses you wouldn't want as neighbors... hippies turned holier-than-thou limosine liberals... hairy-legged Birkinstock girl with no neck...

They're preaching to the choir. I don't know how they expect the ads to attract real people.

I know this is off topic. What the hell do I care

[JSmooth]

So there I was enjoying the videos. I really liked the VI one. The guy makes me look cool. Then I watch the Win XP vid. Hmm 3 color schemes. All the decisions made for me. Crashes all the time? Oh wait she wasn't talking about Windows XP she was talking about Windows 3.1 you remember that OS back when Windows managers were poo poo'ed by everybody.

Then it dawned on me. The windows bigots got it wrong. It's not the OS it's the users! If only brillant people used Windows it would never crash. I, being a brillant person, have NEVER (let me say that again NEVER) had windows XP crash on me. In fact, come to think about it, I have not had a Windows generated crash since Windows 98. All the crashes I experienced in NT or 2000 were buggy program related. Hmmm. I guess brillance will always shine through. I wonder how /. nerds' boxes I could hack because they have no idea what security means... Hmm...

Love,

A netware geek.

these people are cool

[rfsayre]

http://www.benbrown.com/switch/

http://animoller.com/switch/

Not really

[Sycraft-fu]

Just because you think the switch ads are retarded doesn't mean that you can't like Apple or their products. All of my friends that are Mac users think they switch ads are moronic, and somewhat insulted at being associated with the bunch of morons and blithering malcontents featured in them. That doesn't mean they still don't like their Macs, though, or that they are going to quit using/buying them.

Re:Not really

[Anonymous Coward]

Just because you think the switch ads are retarded doesn't mean that you can't like Apple or their products.

Of course, this has no bearing on whether or not the parent comment is true--using Apple technology to parody/criticize Apple marketing is ironic. Liking or disliking their products was never mentioned.

Get a clue.

Vi is offensive

[Anonymous Coward]

I don't know about you lot, but from where I come from (UK) that 'V' that chris made with his fingers is considered offensive.

Sarah Not So Sad

[spiedrazer]

If you checked out the last one of Sarah B. you should have seen a very non-geeky skit that was a riot.

It was a question designed to expose stupidity

[autopr0n]

The person I was replying to said that someone didn't "Want enough" when they said their PC did everything they wanted. Now, don't you think it's fair to actually ask them what the hell they mean? What is it the PC user isn't wanting? What is it they can't do on a Mac.

You just replied with an idiotic statement that has no bearing in reality.

Re:It was a question designed to expose stupidity

[Paradise Pete]

The person I was replying to said that someone didn't "Want enough" when they said their PC did everything they wanted. Now, don't you think it's fair to actually ask them what the hell they mean? What is it the PC user isn't wanting? What is it they can't do on a Mac.

I didn't say you could necessarily do it on a Mac. What I said was that if your computer does everything you want then your desires are rather limited. For instance, I want mine to understand plain English. It can't. So my computer doesn't do everything I want.

That said, on a more mundane level your computer, if it's not running OS X, is probably inferior in its abilities. There may be other drawbacks (cost, lack of freedom, general Steve-ness) but that's not part of what you want it to do (rather than be).

Hrm

[autopr0n]

Well, obviously the ads are designed to say that Macs are better. I mean, all of those people said their lives improved soo much going to the Mac. It's more intuitive, it's more UNIXy, it's less crash prone, etc.

That last point really irks me, because until OSX, Mac OS was one of the least stable OSs out there.

Re:Pantywaists among the elitist assholes

[Anonymous Coward]

You mean like the guy who looks like Weezer and calls his PC a "clunkasaurus"?

I have nightmares about having a guy like that in the next cubical.

You better wise up, Ellen Feiss

[Anonymous Coward]

This neo-slacker gal here seems to be plugging the iBong.

Nope, sorry

[autopr0n]

First of all, older versions of DiVX were hard to aquire and install. If you're a geek who wants to watch pirated moves, it's OK. But I wouldn't put up web content in it. I wouldn't think your average luser would know where to find it

The fact that DiVX has gone propritary and even includes spyware (well, the last time I checked) dosn't help either. If you tell someone to 'download divx' they might just end up with that.

Pull the plug?

[Pope]

Tell that to the graphic design, multimedia and publishing industries.

I switched

[Snafoo]

Man, I used to be a math major...

You know, with all those, like, problems, and
equations and stuff...

Calc, linear algebra, advanced calc...

Group theory...

But then my GPA went down, so I switched to computer science!

Now, all I have to do is get into protracted fights about obscure and ill-thought-out Notepad clones
that have terminally silly keyboard shortcuts...

Yeah. Like Emacs, vi....

It's all so easy, and my profs are amazed that
they have a student who pays attention!

http://www.cs.mcgill.ca/switch

Now I have an A+, and I go drinking every night!

Re:I switched

[Anonymous Coward]

If you're in a "computer science" program that doesn't require calculus and linear algebra you're going to a mighty crappy school. Perhaps they hand you a MSCE rather than a BS?

Good luck finding a job!

Re:Porn Stars? Apple beat you to it.

[paganizer]

"quicktime is missing software needed to perform this operation. Unfortunately, it is not available on our server" I have to admit that is one HELL of a error message.

MOD +5, Informative as hell

[paganizer]

just thought someone should....so few actually understand video. Indeo Is also pretty good, if you use the 5.11 codec. I do all my BIG projects in it, virtually lossless.

Just when I start to fear...

[Weeb]

...that I'll never get laid before age twenty, the Lord hands me proof that there are others worse off.

Re:Just when I start to fear...

[Anonymous Coward]

i know what you mean

god what a bunch of losers. and THIS is what slashdot chooses to post?

Since when is telling the TRUTH

[newestbob]

a troll?

Actually that's about right

[overunderunderdone]

3,520 is on the small side but would be enough to be considered a legion. (that is: between 3000 to 6000 infantrymen & another 100 to 200 cavalrymen)
from dictionary.com

Re: ***You better wise up, Ellen Feiss***

[Anonymous Coward]

That's pretty obscure, since it's completely out of context. Y'all raise your hands if you caught the Rocky Horror Picture Show reference...

Re:I know this is off topic. What the hell do I ca

[Anonymous Coward]

What's the point of making a troll that obvious?
Look, no one has even nibbled on it!
Pfffft. Try harder next time.

Dude, you are frighteningly desperate.

[Anonymous Coward]

You could do better in almost any singles bar even on a weekday. Get out more, man!

Re:Porn Stars? Apple beat you to it.

[DavidRavenMoon]

"quicktime is missing software needed to perform this operation. Unfortunately, it is not available on our server" I have to admit that is one HELL of a error message.

You need Quicktime 6 to view the stream.

Re:I know this is off topic. What the hell do I ca

[GigsVT]

I guess you never changed your hardware under a NT based windows. Try changing your motherboard, guaranteed stop error. You will have to delete all your HAL to fix it.

Linux just works, you can generally transplant a hard disk to a complete new system and Linux will just boot up and work, especially with things like the extremely modular kernels that come with most distros.

Re:Porn Stars? Apple beat you to it.

[Anonymous Coward]

Is there a way to download it before viewing? I'm not on highspeed, and streaming video SUCKS for me.

doesn't everyone know

[Anonymous Coward]

geeks aren't funny

Deja vous

[Eminor]

Ummm, wasn't this story, along with this entire thread posted before?

Ellen Feiss Shirt

[geigercounter]

My favorite part of Apple's "Switch" campaign is, of course, the very stoned looking Ellen Feiss. Is this how the marketing drones of America see our youth? Cute, stoned 15-year-old girls? Makes me wonder what these people are doing in their spare time... While digging up Ellen Feiss spoofs I found a funny shirt for Mac and/or Pot geeks: http://www.deepmonkey.com/switch/