Slashdot Mirror
Mutant Gene Responsible for Speech?
An anonymous submitter writes: "A new study published in Nature reports that humans developed speech and language 200,000 years ago as a result of gene mutation. Washington Post story with more background. The mutation in the FOXP2 gene allowed humans greater control over their mouth and throat muscles, and gave them the ability to produce new sounds. It was apparently such an advantageous mutation that it quickly swept through the human population (10,000 - 20,000 years) almost entirely wiping out earlier versions. This development seems to also match up closely with the time period humans began developing culture. Researchers next want to try altering the gene in mice to see what happens, although they suspect there are many other genes involved. So, how long until I can get a talking dog?"
Now those "Would you eat me if I talked?" Greenpeace ads will actually be reality. Goodbye Big Mac :( - s200.org
...A talking dog..." - Gecko
help fill in hidden movie endings @ End of the Credits
The mutation in the XP2 gene allowed humans greater control over their mouth and throat muscles, and gave them the ability to produce new sounds.
..After they signed the EULA
Wow, can't believe nobosy said they wanted a talking Penguin. Just image a talking parrot! Oh, wait...
"I used to have that really cool,funny sig
...when speech is about to be ruled a DRM circumvention device under the DCMA.
I mean....uh.....::grunt::::grunt:::
--an unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys--
I can just imagine it;
Me: "Fetch"
Dog: "What did your last slave die off"
Me: "Roll Over"
Dog: "Hey, I'm not into that kind of thing"
The next wave of genes to sweep across the globe will be from those people who don't mind arguing with their food before they eat it.
The geneticists U. N. Known and I. Maginary of the University of Nowhere have found a new gene, which appeared through a mutation in the 20th century, probably somewhere in USA.
As the scientists tell us, the gene has the following effects:
- affinity to penguins and gnus
- aversion against windows
- signs of paranoia
- a strong demand for news
- the impulse to comment everything
The gene is called "Slashdot gene", because carriers of that gene tend to gather on Slashdot. According to Maginary, it must be a very successful gene, given that it was able to spread that wide in such a short time frame.
There are rumors that Microsoft has hired geneticists to find a way of disabling that gene.
The Tao of math: The numbers you can count are not the real numbers.
They had better not give this to an ape! Or he'll start talking and become super intelligent and start rallying the Earth's apes under his super power and then take over human kind only to establish a new ape government onto of a nuclear wasted planet so that some astronaut sent up and forgotten can wake up on this new Earth and find the broken statue and fall to his knees a scream...
The Tao of math: The numbers you can count are not the real numbers.
It was apparently such an advantageous mutation that it quickly swept through the human population (10,000 - 20,000 years) almost entirely wiping out earlier versions
Realize that what we're saying here is that the individuals who had this mutation had a reproductive advantage over others. Since making new sounds doesn't increase the number of live births per "litter", this finding inevitably means that smooth-talking cavemen got all the girls.
Clearly, it must be that this mutation allowed the creation of the earliest dating technology: the pick up line.
Doubtless, such old pick up lines as "Hey, baby! Want to come back to my cave and see my bison paintings?" date back to this early period and have been passed down to us through the ages.
Language problems run in the 'KE' family. Members of several generations speak "as if each sound is costing them their soul", one researcher has said.
... down here... ... ...Kahn! KaAaAaAaAhn! KaAAAAaaaaaaHn!
Is... that... you... ?
Hurray it's William Shatner's lost family! I'm so glad. Maybe now they can fix 'em up.
You... keep... missing the... target... If... you want... me... you'll have to... come...
I already have a talking dog, but I took him to a talent agent, and he wasn't impressed. I said "Spot, what do you call the top of a house?" He said "Roof." I said,"Spot, who was the greatest home run hitter?" He said "Ruth." The talent agent declared us a fraud, and had us trown out. Spot turned to me and said, "Gee John, do you think I should have said Hank Aaron?"
That's Bigboo TAY! TAY!
Now those "Would you eat me if I talked?" Greenpeace ads will actually be reality. Goodbye Big Mac :( - s200.org
Best Deep Thought Ever:
"If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason." - Jack Handey
OddManIn: A Game of guns and game theory.
To get a talking dog, is to marry one. Such technological incompetence!
Three race horses are standing around in the stable talking. The first horse says to the others, "I've been in 10 races and won 6 of them." The other two horses said, "That's pretty good." The second horse says, "Well, I've been in 15 races and won 11 of them." The other two horses were impressed and said, "That's really good!" Then the third horse says, "Well, I've been in 20 races and won 16 of them!" The other horses were very impressed and said, "Wow! That's great!"
A greyhound dog walks up and says, "I couldn't help overhearing you guys and just wanted you to know I've been in 26 races and won 21 of them." The horses all look at each other and said, "Holy crap! A talking dog!"
...not gecko!
Which mutant gene is repsonisble for blogs?
Talking dog: "Homer, find your soul mate!"
Homer: "Wait, there's no such thing as a talking dog!"
Talking dog: "Arf arf!"
Homer: "Damn straight!"
((Scene: mid 1800's, ranch territory...)) A cowboy is making his way through ranch land when he meets a native American Rancher on horseback. "Can I talk to your horse?" the cowboy says. "Horse no talk," says the N.A.R. "Do you mind if I try?" the cowboy asks. "Go ahead," says the N.A.R. So the cowboy walks up to the horse and says, "How is this guy treating you?" To the N.A.R.'s surprise, the horse speaks! "Not too bad, he feeds me good. He whips me once in a while, though, and THAT I don't like." The NAR can't believe what he is seeing. He and the cowboy continue back towards the ranch when the NAR's dog runs out to greet them. "Mind if I talk to your dog?" the cowboy asks. "Dog no talk!" exclaims the NAR. "Mind if I try?" the cowboy asks. "Go ahead," says the N.A.R. So the cowboy walks up to the dog and says, "How is this guy treating you?" To the N.A.R.'s surprise, the dog speaks! "Not too bad, he feeds me good. He whips me once in a while, though, and THAT I don't like." So the NAR and the cowboy continue toward the barn and the corral when the cowboy sees that the NAR also has a few sheep on the ranch. The cowboy says, "Mind if I talk to your sheep?" To which the NAR replies, "SHEEP LIE!!!!!"
"I'm just here to regulate funkiness."
"Get your damn dirty mice hands off of me"
"Gourmet meals from out of the trash and sniffing crotches would probably also become popular conversation topics."
Not to mention kvetching about being neutered. "Yeah, you wanna try it boss? Better not let me catch you comin' out of the shower, ya know what I mean?"
So, how long until I can get a talking dog?
I don't knooow, Daaavey...
This exact same thing applies to evolutionary concepts. Some scientists finds a bone, uses carbon dating, and then magically reports that this was an ape-man whoe evolved from a lizard-cat and began using iron tools to grind gecko meat. Bleh!
"And those genes are to be found, logically, within the fraction of a 100th percent that separates us from them."
Do not make the mistake of thinking that that is all that separates us from them.
Recall that 50% of our genes are identical to bananas, but that doesn't make me half banana, either from the waist up or the waist down.
"Nine times out of ten, starting a fire is not the best way to solve the problem." - my wife