Slashdot Mirror
The Ultimate Gaming Table
Johnzo writes: "Wow. Dude's built himself a
super-deluxe custom gaming table,
with built-in coasters,
dice pits, a sound system, lamps for each player, glass inlays for handouts,
books and paper storage, an elevated miniatures battlefield, privacy screens for each player,
and (best of all) an under-table tube network using hollow gravity-fed balls to
deliver secret messages to players. The only way this could possibly be cooler is if he used pneumatics to
deliver the messages."
To player: "Sure, I won't attack you."
(Under the table): "Attack on the next turn! Kamchacka won't know what hit them! BWahahahaha..."
Okay, the slashdot effect has incinerated yet another poor innocent server.
Slashdot might consider warning / hosting cached images of pages that arent designed to handle major traffic.
If I built a cool backyard widget and told a few friends, I might be a tad disconcerted when CNN tells a half-million people to check out my house.
I bet Verizon would like to get this guy to design the furniture for their offices to put the $22,000 workstations on!
There's another feature the blurb didn't mention which is sure to be of great benefit to people who would want something like this. It's sized such that it can easily fit in most parent's basements!
'Dude' builds himself a new webserver, as the Slashdot crowd help him melt his after only a few minutes! :)
"Hey! Unless this is a nude love-in, get the hell off my property!!"
No beer dispenser.
Features not yet mentioned:
:) Now my wife won't let me... :P
1) Makes a perfect girlfriend repellent
2) Eliminates that pesky urge to shower
3) Acts as a cosmic magnet for Trekkies
4) Absorbs excess light to help maintain that lovely shade of "pasty white" you've worked so hard to obtain
The sad part is, ten years ago I would have killed for one
- The auditors said to secure the server... hand me that duct-tape -
Here's the google cache link
--Chag
Sadly I can see where an under the table pneumatic device probably would have appeal to /.ers
"Good things don't end with eum, they end with mania or teria." - H. Simpson
It's not Karma, it's mana. Specifically, a level 45 Reflective Shield around their server which bounced Slashdot's level 60 spell of Traffic Jam back at itself. Slashdot will be lagged for a few more rounds.
I've always fantasized about a table that would have a small console with a keyboard and screen for each player where there could be messaging between players/GM. I've also wanted to be able to send images/maps and other important information over the consoles on this, my fantasy gaming table.
Of course, cool holograms ala Star Wars Chess Table would rock for the battle map. The problem... I know the technology exists for all of the above, but the cost is far too prohibitive to make a gaming table this cool.
-Steve
A built in hooka in the middle of the table, with pipes going out to all of the player seats. Not *that* would make for a good game table.
Don't you people know any better than to post an article linking to a Microsoft server? The thing went down within seconds!!
At least post a mirror link or a google reference or something...
The web page you seek
Has been destroyed by Slashdot
God-damned geek bastards.
Kind thoughts do not change the world
You absolutely owe it to yourself to check out "Napoleon in Europe". (http://www.eaglegames.com). This game rocks. It has more advanced rules, an interesting innovation system and some great, great game pieces! It costs $7.50 per LBS.!!! Give it a look, my gang of players loves it.
That is originally from an old Dead Alewives sketch.
HTTP/1.1 Server Too Busy
Player: "But, I never actually said I was gonna attack the dragon."
DM: "Uh, no, but you yelled out 'Die scumsucking winged lizard!' and told me you were running towards it with your +5 Holy Avenger drawn."
Player: "Yeah, but how do you know the dragon interpreted that as a hostile act?"
DM: (pushes the under-the-table zapper button, jolting the player with a dose of electricity strong enough to take down a rhino)
Hmm.. wait, am I putting too much of my own history into this little scenario?
Read the EFF's Fair Use FAQ
Right on top of the table is the feard "Intergalactic Cat of Destruction" that is known to ravage armies in this and many other universes. Closely related to the "Toddler Cthulu" and "Cosmic Sneeze."
Yeah but the simple fact that it goes down is bad. Having, say, a Linux box with a 450 day uptime is totally useless if the DB goes down every other day.
Aw, fuck it. Let's go bowling. - The Big Lebowski
DM: Um, what's yer save versus Slashdotting?
Dude: 12
DM: Sorry, you didn't save. You are separated from the party, and you lose all your spell points.
Dude: D'oh!
and (best of all) an under-table tube network using hollow gravity-fed balls to deliver secret messages to players.
Knowing the geeks I knew in high-school, they'd probably put more than their balls in the under-table tube network.
We at Agyris.net really built the game table to:
- Get Space Chicks. Not just any chicks, mind you, but the really hot klingon ones with thick knees and sharp, pointy armor. We met some down by the river, and they came back with us after they heard about our bitchin' table. Alkhound said that they were just carnies, but I know better.
- Fight Owlbears. We just hate them, so we built the player stations to be too small for their big, furry, hunched backs. They can't even send messages back to the GM because their claws are too damn big to hold the message spheres. We also hate their fur-less asses.
- Promote the Mullet. At Agyris.net we think that the 1984 Mullet should be protected and promoted. The ultimate game table attracts innocent newbie gamers to our personal hygiene lacking hobby. Simply put, more gamers = more mullets!
- Improve the Flavor of Dr. Thunder. Gamers love caffinated drinks, and the ridiculously cheap Dr. Thunder (27 cents per gallon) is certainly no exception. However, since the now famous game table fad of 2002 causes thousands more oily spills than ever before, Walmart will be forced to improve the flavor since there will be a shortage of the horse hide flavoring that they commonly use. ---
We never thought that we'd be featured on Slashdot, but we also never thought that we'd be forced to move out of our parents' basements at the age of 38, due to an official court order. Life is funny.
-- monstermachine - butter eatin' robot from toaster town.
"These are some of the icons that were designed for individual player stations by Shannon Potratz, the lead conceptional designer for Agyris.net... Each player station will have it's own iconic identity, which will be painted on the wall of each one, and also on the Game Master side next to each sphere hole! The icons themselves symbolize the elements of change and decay, Creatures and Gods, in the World of Agyris."
The icons themselves symbolize just *HOW* much time I spent playing Magic:The Gathering. But since I changed them around on my giant POOLTABLE, they now mean various geeky ingame things about chaos and checkers or something.
--Ne auderis delere orbem rigidum meum, non erravi pernicose!
Yeah, I can't remember half of the stupid rules, but here are two of my favorites:
I'm MOVING troops with my carrier, so when you attacked my carrier, you actually killed that trooper there.
OR
My SUBMARINE traveled from Northern Russia to Spain in one turn. WTF? There some kind of time warp through England?
Rant off...
"I can't give you a brain, so I'll give you a diploma" - The Great Oz (blatently stolen sig)
11*43+456^2
I haven't played in a couple of years, but I don't remember carriers being able to transport non-aircraft units, and there's no way for a sub to move that far in one turn.
You can never go home again... but I guess you can shop there.