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The Ultimate Gaming Table

Posted by timothy on from the this-is-not-at-ikea dept.

Johnzo writes: "Wow. Dude's built himself a super-deluxe custom gaming table, with built-in coasters, dice pits, a sound system, lamps for each player, glass inlays for handouts, books and paper storage, an elevated miniatures battlefield, privacy screens for each player, and (best of all) an under-table tube network using hollow gravity-fed balls to deliver secret messages to players. The only way this could possibly be cooler is if he used pneumatics to deliver the messages."

27 of 191 comments (clear)

  1. Tea Balls for message spheres by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny
    Wow. I just want this for Risk!


    To player: "Sure, I won't attack you."


    (Under the table): "Attack on the next turn! Kamchacka won't know what hit them! BWahahahaha..."

  2. Slashdot effect / bad neighbor? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Insightful

    Okay, the slashdot effect has incinerated yet another poor innocent server.

    Slashdot might consider warning / hosting cached images of pages that arent designed to handle major traffic.

    If I built a cool backyard widget and told a few friends, I might be a tad disconcerted when CNN tells a half-million people to check out my house.

    1. Re:Slashdot effect / bad neighbor? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny
      • Actually IIS is smart enough to throttle and reject connections above the set amount with a "Server too busy" message, rather than letting it suck up bandwidth to the beat of the band.

      "IIS" and "smart" in the same sentence. I sense a disturbance in the force.

    2. Re:Slashdot effect / bad neighbor? by Nurlman · · Score: 3, Interesting
      If I built a cool backyard widget and told a few friends, I might be a tad disconcerted when CNN tells a half-million people to check out my house.

      Uh... he did put this stuff up on the internet, presumably so people could see it.

      Your analogy might work if CNN broke down your fence or peeked in your windows to see your "widget," but you can hardly complain if you built it in your front yard so everyone walking down the street could see it.

      I suppose if the submitter got the link from this kid in an e-mail that was just sent around to a few of his friends, you might have a point. But if the submitter found it through a search engine, or through random surfing, well, webmaster emptor

    3. Re:Slashdot effect / bad neighbor? by Restil · · Score: 3, Interesting

      The only decent alternative I can see is something similar to what fark.com does. Have a subscriber base that's allowed to see the links a couple hours before they get posted to the main site. This will allow subscribers an advantage when viewing slashdotable sites, and may give them the opportunity to mirror those sites if they feel it might be needed. It will also give the webmaster a warning of what is soon to come and allow them to make whatever changes are needed to prepare for the onslaught. It will also make first-poster's jobs completely useless (unless they want to buy a lot of subscriptions).

      Of course, this means that articles might grow stale by a couple hours, but CNN and other sites that will have no problem with the traffic can still be posted normally. Oh well, just an idea.
      Happy moderating.

      -Restil

      --
      Play with my webcams and lights here
    4. Re:Slashdot effect / bad neighbor? by aardvarkjoe · · Score: 5, Funny
      Right. Like Slashdot's news is always on the bleeding edge. Waiting a few hours to make this post would have made it completely irrelevant.


      I'm convinced that the reason why Taco doesn't bother to cache these pages is that he enjoys the notoriety of the "Slashdot Effect." The excuses in the FAQ are really lame.

      --

      How can we continue to believe in a just universe and freedom to eat crackers if we have no ale?
  3. Beautiful furniture by hugesmile · · Score: 5, Funny

    I bet Verizon would like to get this guy to design the furniture for their offices to put the $22,000 workstations on!

  4. Another feature by gatekeep · · Score: 4, Funny

    There's another feature the blurb didn't mention which is sure to be of great benefit to people who would want something like this. It's sized such that it can easily fit in most parent's basements!

  5. Coming up next on Slashdot.. by Chicane-UK · · Score: 4, Funny

    'Dude' builds himself a new webserver, as the Slashdot crowd help him melt his after only a few minutes! :)

    --
    "Hey! Unless this is a nude love-in, get the hell off my property!!"
  6. Additional Features by gleam_mn · · Score: 5, Funny

    Features not yet mentioned:

    1) Makes a perfect girlfriend repellent
    2) Eliminates that pesky urge to shower
    3) Acts as a cosmic magnet for Trekkies
    4) Absorbs excess light to help maintain that lovely shade of "pasty white" you've worked so hard to obtain

    The sad part is, ten years ago I would have killed for one :) Now my wife won't let me... :P

    --
    - The auditors said to secure the server... hand me that duct-tape -
    1. Re:Additional Features by unicron · · Score: 5, Funny

      "WHERE ARE THE CHEETOS?!"

      "Their over there, quit yelling!"

      "WHERE'S THE MOUNTAIN DEW?!"

      "In the fridge. DUH!"

      "I'M GETTING A MOUNTAIN DEW, ANYONE ELSE WANT ONE?"

      "NO!"

      "I cast Magic Missle!"

      "Why are you attacking, their's nothing to attack here."

      "I uh, I uh..I attack the darkness."

      "Their's an ogre standing in front of you"

      "How could there be an ogre in front of me, I had mordiky's magical watchdog cast"

      "Actually, you didn't. You never actually bought the components so now their's ogres, deal with it"

      "OGRES! I HAVE AN OGRE SLAYING KNIVE +3!"

      "Fool, you aren't even in the cave, you're back in town."

      "COOL! ROLL TO SEE IF I'M GETTING DRUNK!"

      "Yeah, you are."

      "ARE THEIR ANY GIRLS THERE?"

      "YES!"

      "IF THEIR'S ANY GIRLS THERE I WANNA DO EM!"

      There you have it. Satan's game. But hey, it's not their fault. It's their gym teachers, for making them feel like crap because they couldn't do one lousy pullup.

      --
      Finally, math books without any of that base 6 crap in them.
    2. Re:Additional Features by meowwmixx · · Score: 3, Funny

      What, your wife won't let you get one, or she just won't let you kill for one? :P

    3. Re:Additional Features by Catbeller · · Score: 3, Funny

      And don't forget capitalization, too.

  7. Link.. by gatekeep · · Score: 5, Informative

    Here's the google cache link

    1. Re:Link.. by spencerogden · · Score: 3, Insightful

      Interesting, so he just took the actual page down, the pictures are still there...

      --

      Spencer Ogden

  8. Pnuematic by rbgaynor · · Score: 5, Funny

    ...and (best of all) an under-table tube network using hollow gravity-fed balls to deliver secret messages to players. The only way this could possibly be cooler is if he used pneumatics to deliver the messages.

    Sadly I can see where an under the table pneumatic device probably would have appeal to /.ers

    --
    "Good things don't end with eum, they end with mania or teria." - H. Simpson
    1. Re:Pnuematic by jyoull · · Score: 3, Funny

      The gravity-fed secrets are vulnerable to traffic analysis, but not content analysis... so it depends on how and what you're playing.

      or just turn up the music at random times, and occasionally send a secret message during one of those noisy intervals.

    2. Re:Pnuematic by Ooblek · · Score: 5, Funny

      What would happen if the pneumatics malfunction? How many MPH can it make a secret message ball eject out of the tube that is probably at about the same level as the family jewels? Talk about a d20 damage roll.....

  9. Re:Oops! Forgot one thing. by Roadmaster · · Score: 4, Funny

    This table appears to be built for roleplaying games.. and trust me, you DON'T want to be dungeon master to a bunch of 15 drunk fellas whose level 20 characters have just been slaughtered by a couple of lucky kobold assassins.

  10. Re:Netcraft reports Slashdot is dying by im@peacewithouta.gov · · Score: 3, Funny

    It's not Karma, it's mana. Specifically, a level 45 Reflective Shield around their server which bounced Slashdot's level 60 spell of Traffic Jam back at itself. Slashdot will be lagged for a few more rounds.

  11. Fantasy Gaming Table by Jharish · · Score: 4, Interesting

    I've always fantasized about a table that would have a small console with a keyboard and screen for each player where there could be messaging between players/GM. I've also wanted to be able to send images/maps and other important information over the consoles on this, my fantasy gaming table.

    Of course, cool holograms ala Star Wars Chess Table would rock for the battle map. The problem... I know the technology exists for all of the above, but the cost is far too prohibitive to make a gaming table this cool.

    -Steve

  12. One more feature I'd need... by NineNine · · Score: 3, Funny

    A built in hooka in the middle of the table, with pipes going out to all of the player seats. Not *that* would make for a good game table.

  13. haiku by 3ryon · · Score: 5, Funny

    The web page you seek
    Has been destroyed by Slashdot
    God-damned geek bastards.

    --
    Kind thoughts do not change the world
  14. Credit where credit is due by jimmcq · · Score: 5, Informative

    That is originally from an old Dead Alewives sketch.

  15. Copy of website text in case of Slashdotting by ALoverOfPeace · · Score: 5, Funny

    HTTP/1.1 Server Too Busy

  16. One more feature that would make it perfect by Infonaut · · Score: 4, Funny
    one of those electro-zappers used to such good effect in the first episode of the Simpsons. I can see it now:

    Player: "But, I never actually said I was gonna attack the dragon."

    DM: "Uh, no, but you yelled out 'Die scumsucking winged lizard!' and told me you were running towards it with your +5 Holy Avenger drawn."

    Player: "Yeah, but how do you know the dragon interpreted that as a hostile act?"

    DM: (pushes the under-the-table zapper button, jolting the player with a dose of electricity strong enough to take down a rhino)

    Hmm.. wait, am I putting too much of my own history into this little scenario?

    --
    Read the EFF's Fair Use FAQ
  17. Secret Balls by Boawk · · Score: 4, Funny

    and (best of all) an under-table tube network using hollow gravity-fed balls to deliver secret messages to players.

    Knowing the geeks I knew in high-school, they'd probably put more than their balls in the under-table tube network.