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Cremation? Burial? How about Diamonds?

travisbecker writes "From Reuters via Yahoo! comes this story. "A Chicago company (Lifegem) says it has developed a process for turning cremated human remains into diamonds that can be worn as jewelry." As for the quality... "If it's done slowly and with a great deal of care, one could have a reasonably high-quality diamond," according to a quote in the story." This should not be confused with our earlier diamond discussion.

29 of 398 comments (clear)

  1. Now I know by dreamchaser · · Score: 5, Funny

    Now I know what my wife will have done with me after she has me bumped off!

    1. Re:Now I know by Matthaeus · · Score: 4, Funny

      I know mine always refers to me as a "diamond in the rough..."

      Used to think it was cute. Kinda creepy, now.

  2. Does this mean that... by cliffy2000 · · Score: 5, Funny

    I can just dig up bodies and make diamonds out of them? Now I can actually make MONEY from my hobby!

    1. Re:Does this mean that... by JimmytheGeek · · Score: 5, Funny

      That would just turn it into work. Take my advice - just do it for the love, baby.

  3. Girls best friend? by joyoflinux · · Score: 5, Funny

    Are these diamonds still a girl's best friend?

    1. Re:Girls best friend? by geekoid · · Score: 5, Funny

      Yes , they can be a girls best friend, or her neighbor, or ex-boyfriend, etc...

      --
      The Kruger Dunning explains most post on /. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunning%E2%80%93Kruger_effect
    2. Re:Girls best friend? by User+956 · · Score: 4, Insightful

      These diamonds are a girl's best friend. If it doesn't help perpetuate poverty and strife, it's not a real diamond. Just ask DeBeers.

      --
      The theory of relativity doesn't work right in Arkansas.
    3. Re:Girls best friend? by Ilan+Volow · · Score: 5, Funny

      If I had a cut figure, was well rounded, and stayed hard for days, I'd be a girl's best friend too.

      --
      Ergonomica Auctorita Illico!
  4. Oh, this old thing? by paiute · · Score: 5, Funny

    Oh, this? It was my grandmother.

    You mean it was your grandmother's ring?

    No. It is my grandmother.

    --
    If Slashdot were chemistry it would look like this:Cadaverine
  5. jewlers or undertakers? by drycht · · Score: 5, Funny

    Now saying "You're a real gem" is a deaththreat, then?

  6. Puts a twist on the old engagement ring. by MAXOMENOS · · Score: 5, Funny
    Now, instead of:

    This diamond was my grandmother's, and I would be honored if you wore it.

    Can 21st century women expect to hear:

    This diamond was my grandmother, and I would be honored if you wore it.
    ?
  7. guidelines by abraxas · · Score: 5, Funny


    Remember the general guide of two months worth of bodies for an engagement ring.

  8. Re:The question is ... by geekoid · · Score: 5, Funny

    yes, but wouldn't an evil villian want to have there enemys made into jewlery they can wear?

    thats the problem with todays youth, nobody thinks about the super villian.

    --
    The Kruger Dunning explains most post on /. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunning%E2%80%93Kruger_effect
  9. how to protect against fraud? by tstoneman · · Score: 5, Insightful

    At $22,000 per carat, you could just go out and buy a 1 ct diamond for $7000 and say it's your dearly departed, and make an instant $15,000. Since you can't do DNA analysis to determine if the diamond is actually the person, what's to stop them from just doing that???

  10. Call Dictionary.com by Treeluvinhippy · · Score: 5, Funny

    We have a new meaning for the term "Family Jewels".

    --
    >
  11. Re:bleh. by Tackhead · · Score: 4, Funny
    > One last thought, who else thinks that this will be Anna Nicole Smith's next move with the ashes of that old guy?

    If he eats lots of food, and if he weighs 800+ pounds when he dies, there might be enough carbon in him to make a dildo out of pure diamond!

    (Suggested epitaph: "She said she'd marry me for my money, but wouldn't put out until I could get it up and stay hard as a rock for at least an hour. Who's laughing now?")

  12. Re:The question is ... by perfects · · Score: 5, Funny

    who, really, would want to wear their dad in a ring

    It's not all that strange, it's just a matter of perspective.

    Around the turn of the century (1900) it was very fashionable to wear jewelry made from a dead loved one's hair. Nobody thought it was morose.

    Even now, how many people have dear ol' Mom's ashes in a jar on the mantle? Isn't that a little... weird... when you think about it?

    My grandfather was buried behind the cabin at his deer-hunting camp. Isn't that a little... creepy?

    People build marble buildings to house their remains. Now that's strange!

    As for me, I want to be composted.

  13. This fucken rules. by Tom7 · · Score: 4, Interesting

    This is great. Do you think if I collect enough of my body tissue and hair and stuff that I can get one of these made while I'm alive?

  14. The true measure of a diamond by nfras · · Score: 5, Funny

    Remember to look for Cut, Clarity, Color, Carat and Corpse.

    --
    You call me a pedant? I prefer the term "correct"
  15. It ain't the supervillains that worry me! by GuyMannDude · · Score: 4, Insightful

    Actually, it was chrisd's final statement that spoked me:

    This should not be confused with our earlier diamond discussion.

    You remember, don't you? The one that went like so:

    Would you buy one for the love of your life? I know my girlfriend would love a diamond, but ethically I have my doubts. Diseased-miners, child slave labour, cartel inflated prices...

    I guess we have to add murders and grave robbing to that list now! Those evil diamond traders will do anything to get more raw materials for their diabolical schemes!

    GMD

  16. I know the truth! by IronTek · · Score: 5, Funny

    Soylent Diamonds is PEOPLE!

  17. Grading the departed loved one... by dpbsmith · · Score: 5, Funny

    I particularly enjoy the idea that after the departed one's cremains have been converted to diamonds, the diamonds will be graded. One has to wonder:

    --Will the obese deceased yield a higher number of carats?

    --Will the chaste deceased score higher on clarity?

    --Will the intelligent deceased get a "brilliant" cut?

    And, of course...

    --What affect will the race of the deceased have on the color?

  18. Why do I have a euphoric Final Fantasy feeling? by Mustang+Matt · · Score: 5, Interesting

    hehe.

    This feels like it's straight from a Final Fantasy game. I can be a piece of Materia someday! Now all they need to do is figure out how to summon people back out of the diamonds for a whopping good time.

    --
    The man who trades freedom for security does not deserve nor will he ever receive either. - Benjamin Franklin
  19. She said... by Johnny+Mnemonic · · Score: 4, Funny


    So she said to me: "I'm getting a diamond from you, one way or another."

    --

    --
    $tar -xvf .sig.tar
  20. Re:The question is ... by antirename · · Score: 5, Funny

    Can do. Just post your name, social security number (US residents only please), address, next of kin, and your lawyer's name and we'll send a Vinnie right over with a branch chipper. Oh, you want to WAIT a while... Want the installment plan?

  21. My entire family was killed in a building collapse by freerangegeek · · Score: 5, Funny

    And I got this fabulous tennis bracelet.

  22. Yesssss! by wiresquire · · Score: 5, Funny

    Now I know the answer to:
    a) whether to get an expensive engagement ring or not, and
    b) How to get rid of my mother in law
    all in one!

    --

    So does Anonymous Coward have good karma?

    1. Re:Yesssss! by LadyLucky · · Score: 4, Funny

      I'm interested in how you got yourself into the situation of having both a mother-in-law and also be considering an expensive engagement ring at the same time.

      --
      dominionrd.blogspot.com - Restaurants on
  23. more convenient than shrunken heads by joss · · Score: 4, Funny

    Excellent, now I can just wear a braclet or elegent neclace instead of walking around with the shrunken heads of my enemies tied on a string.

    One can't fault the convenience factor, but
    I don't know, I don't think it will have quite the same, er, impact.

    --
    http://rareformnewmedia.com/