Duct Tape Can Remove Warts

chris_calabrese writes "According to this Reuters article on Yahoo! News, "Duct tape, already legendary for its many uses, can also be deployed to get rid of warts, U.S. Army researchers said on Monday." The basic idea is to tape over the warts and suffocate them. Apparently more effective than the traditional cryotherapy too."

Comments

I tried it

[L. VeGas]

I tried to suffocate what I thought was a wart with duct tape, but I had to take it off after one day because I had to pee really bad.

This is great news

[Charlton Heston]

I have a wart on my finger and it doesn't respond to the clipping with the nail clippers type of treatment. Lots of blood, but the wart is still there. Very annoying when I'm trying to type or pull a trigger at the firing range. It might look funny, but this just might do the trick.

Re:This is great news

[Bonker]

A clue for the clueless -- DO NOT PUNCTURE WARTS UNLESS YOU WANT MORE OF THEM!

The virus that causes warts is easily spread from lymphatic fluid from a punctured wart.

Re:This is great news

[omegakidd]

I will take note of that

Re:This is great news

[Paul Neubauer]

This is interesting, and I will note it.

I wonder what else might best be left alone - or treated in a nonsurgical manner.

Hygiene

[Glytch]

I hate to sound shallow, but this will come as a huge relief to all the homely guys who hang around Possum Lodge.

This is no joke

[GreyWolf3000]

About 2 years ago I was going to school in Switzerland. The dorms were rather unsanitary, or rather, some of it's inhabitants were extremely uncouth. As a result, fungal growths were rampant, and I developed a huge wart on my right thumb.

One day I was snowboarding and I tried to jump and hit a 360, but unfortunately I was a 'n00b.' However, upon a rather harsh engagement with hard-packed snow and ice, my wart completely dislodged itself from my finger. I'd say it was about 3mm high and 2.5mm diameter.

I think yours truly takes the cake for strangest wart removal 'treatment.'

Re:This is no joke

[Anonymous Coward]

That's so fucking disgusting....

Re:This is no joke

[Anonymous Coward]

visit the links of -1, troll posts. you aint seen nothing yet

Re:This is no joke

[ChadN]

Well, I had a huge wart on my big toe, which grew back after being burned off with acid and a hot needle. Then my sister stepped on it at the airport in Hawaii (I was wearing slippers), ripping it clean off. This was at the baggage counter, where family were all trying to hug me and say, "hello". I bled all over the place. However, a dog came up and ate the ripped off wart, and followed me around licking up much of the blood.

The remaining wart crater scabbed over with a hard black shell, which I eventually tore off with some tweezers. The wart never came back.

Re:This is no joke

[GreyWolf3000]

(parent, in cognito since this is def off-topic)

WE HAVE A WINNER. I CONCEDE DEFEAT. :)

Re:This is no joke

[GreyWolf3000]

whups i meant to go ac...karma rapeage...

Re:This is no joke

[nihilogos]

You were at the baggage counter wearing slippers and there was a dog following you around? I'd believe that of the Easter Island airport but I thought Hawaii was a little less, erm, 'rustic'.

Re:This is no joke

[Anonymous Coward]

sounds like the hawaii i lived in. remember hawaii != oahu. (oahu is only a subset)

Re:This is no joke

[Tablizer]

One day I was snowboarding and....upon a rather harsh engagement with hard-packed snow and ice, my wart completely dislodged itself from my finger.

AKA, "The Sony Bono Wart Removal Technique"

Well then...

[Dr. Bent]

I'll just have to add that one to The List

Re:Well then...

[Gerry Gleason]

217 Get rid of plantars warts.

Looks like it is already there.

Stand By for My Own Results

[greenhide]

I don't mean to brag or anything, but I've got a couple of pretty impressive warts.

I'm going to try this method out and see how well it works. Look here in about a month for the results.

That is assuming, of course, that I can deal with having a piece of duct tape on the joint of my left thumb for 30 days. :-)

Re:Stand By for My Own Results

[t]

Perhaps you should read the fucking article.

Re:Stand By for My Own Results

[Anonymous Coward]

Be wary - the original article says the treatment includes removing the tape, soaking, and scrubbing every 6 days.

If you keep it on 30 days straight it might not be just the wart that falls off.

A Slashdot editor couldn't have posted this

[Henry V .009]

Slashdot has been hacked, right? That's the explanation for this story. It has to be..

See a doctor.

[Trusty Penfold]

This is crazy; you should never try to treat yourself for anything. You are not trained to diagnose diseases in your body. It takes 2 to 3 years to train to be a doctor - and you think you can remove a wart in a month?

How do you know it is a wart - it could be anthrax or, worse, something contagious like leprosy

See a doctor before it is too late!

Re:See a doctor.

[floydigus]

Yeah, and you shouldn't go fiddling with things inside your computer, either!
DIY in the home - that's another thing. Don't touch it - you'll only go and kill yourself.
Don't ever say me and penfold don't warn you about this stuff.

Re:See a doctor.

[Twirlip of the Mists]

It takes 2 to 3 years to train to be a doctor

Lol. That's a good one. Let's see, a bachelor's degree, that's 3-4 years. Then four years of medical school-- and no, you can't "test out" of any of it; medical school is four years, and that's that. Then three to six years of residency, depending on your specialty.

If you're a true badass who chooses the right specialty-- and I'm not even going to count undergrad time here-- you can become a doctor in as little as seven years. And that's if you pick one of the "easy" specialties with a short residency. If you do what my girlfriend is doing-- get your MD/PhD, then do a surgical residency, then a fellowship-- you're looking at an upper bound of fifteen consecutive years of training. That's three years for a PhD in biology, four years for an MD, six years of residency at a teaching hospital, and two more years of fellowship before you can go get an actual job practicing medicine.

Doctors are better trained than you give them credit for.

Re:See a doctor.

[Anonymous Coward]

"Doctors are better trained than you give them credit for"

Wow yeah, that's why everyone is so healthy... Right Mr Lard Ass American?

Re:See a doctor.

[floydigus]

I know for a fact you can become a doctor in about five minutes on the internet.

Re:See a doctor.

[pediddle]

It's not the doctors' fault lots of people are fat. Doctors have been saying the same thing for decades: eat healthy and excersise. How hard is it to excersise? Apparantly way too hard for most people. So put the blame where it needs to go: it's the lardo's fault he's a lardo. (My apologies to anyone with some kind of genetic condition -- "I'm not fat, it's glandular!" -HS)

Re:See a doctor.

[grub]

That's three years for a PhD in biology, four years for an MD, six years of residency at a teaching hospital, and two more years of fellowship before you can go get an actual job practicing medicine.

How do they manage to fit in time to golf?

Re:See a doctor.

[cpeterso]

Why do you think it takes them so long to finish school?

Re:See a doctor.

[slashdot_commentator]

or, worse, something contagious like leprosy

Technically, leprosy may be considered contagious, but the reality is that you will not contract it unless you have a genetic vulnerability towards it. I guess its been bred out of the gene pool. I also believe its "spread" by contact, not airborne. I'd worry more about tuberculosis...

Re:See a doctor.

[slashdot_commentator]

C'mon, she went that way because she wants to do medical research. Otherwise, there's no point to time spent on the PhD and the fellowship. Yeah, she's a MD, but she didn't spend 15 years in school specifically to be a MD.

Some unique medical school programs combine the BA and the Med school, so its only 6 years before they can start their internship. So yeah, 7 years for quick specialty, 8 years to cut people up. I've never heard of a 6 year residency program.

Re:See a doctor.

[Twirlip of the Mists]

I've never heard of a 6 year residency program.

There are several. I know University of Washington's otolaryngology residency is 6 years. I believe that UCSD's is as well.

Incidentally, my girlfriend got her PhD because it paid for medical school. She is interested in academics, but her career of choice is ear, nose, and throat surgery. At the University of Texas, you get to go to school for free if you get into the MD/PhD program. Quite a bargain.

Re:See a doctor.

[slashdot_commentator]

Not sure how much of a bargain. She's spending years of her life where she could be a practicing doctor doing training instead. At least 5 years lost for the Phd and the fellowship. Actually, it kind of irks me that she's taking this program yet her primary career goal will not be medical research. Oh well, glad I'm not a Texan taxpayer.

Re:See a doctor.

[gl4ss]

the title 'Doctor'(Dr) has nothing to do with being a real-medical-care-person-that's-normally-referred- to-be-a-doctor.(i'm glad we got a different word for doctor/the kinda that treats patients). however, you can get dr title from medical research too.

anyways, in usa i believe it is possible for anyone to start up an university-of-sorts and start selling these dr diplomas, however, at some other countries, you can't just buy the title and not get laughed at publically and being accused of trying to fool people thinking you're better than you are.

Re:See a doctor.

[floydigus]

You mean to say that I'm not a "real-medical-care-person-that's-normally-referred -to-be-a-doctor"? Damn - I thought I was.

Where did you get your degree from, Einstein? Cereal packet?

Re:See a doctor.

[cloudmaster]

Doctors are better trained than you give them credit for.

That's likely because there are so many doctors who manage to be complete morons despite having gone to school for so many years. Aside from surgeons, "doctors" don't do much beyond advanced nursing anyway - it's the people in the labs that diagnose and prescribe, while the doctor just tells people what the lab told them.

One day I need to get a job where I can get paid heaps of money just to pass along information and remember basic anatomy... :)

Re:See a doctor.

[Twirlip of the Mists]

Actually, it kind of irks me that she's taking this program yet her primary career goal will not be medical research. Oh well, glad I'm not a Texan taxpayer.

The MD/PhD program is funded by grants and endowments. Stand down from red alert. ;-)

Re:See a doctor.

[Twirlip of the Mists]

Dude, do you have a problem with doctors in general, or are you just uninformed? I can't accept that you honestly believe that "it's the people in the labs that diagnose and prescribe."

Have you ever seen a lab report? Let's try this little exercise. I got my girlfriend to type this up for me based on something she dealt with the other night.

Your patient is a 45-year-old white male who presented in the ER with severe radiating abdominal pain and vomiting. He has a history of mild abdominal pain for several years. Vitals: pulse 80, BP 130/70, respirations 30. The patient is alert and oriented, but is obviously in severe pain localized to his abdomen and back. Upon examination, the abdomen is soft with guarding and tenderness is the upper right epigastric area. No bowel sounds heard. Some vomiting with blood was observed.

What do you do, cloudmaster? You're the doc, so what do you do? Get labs? Okay, let's see the labs. You ordered a CBC, BMP, glucose, and liver panel. (Sorry for the formatting; if I tabularized it, the lameness filter got all riled up.)

Test : Result : Normals

white count : 16.3 : 4.3-10.9
hematocrit : 45.0 : 41-53
platelet count : 344000 : 150000-450000
sodium : 141 : 137-145
potassium : 3.0 : 3.6-5.4
chloride : 98 : 98-107
bicarbonate : 25 : 22-29
BUN : 17 : 5-20
creatinine : 0.9 : 0.5-1.3
glucose : 121 : 70-110
total bilirubin : 0.5 : 0.3-1.1
plasma total protein : 9.5 : 6.0-8.0
albumin : 4.4 : 3.4-4.8
AST : 24 : 8-26
alkaline phosphatase : 98 : 89-251
ALT : 31 : 7-46
amylase : 96 : 50-180

That's it. Those are your lab results. What should you do? That's funny, I don't see the little box on the lab report with the diagnosis and treatment plan in it. The lab guys must have left it off of this one. Weird.

So what's the plan, doc? What do you do?

I'll post the rest of this patient's story if anybody wants to read it.

Re:See a doctor.

[Anonymous Coward]

Like in ER, 6:00 AM Extreme Golf. Do the back 9 in 20 MINUTES! Really fun!

Re:See a doctor.

[Wyatt Earp]

Gall Stones?

Just a guess since I was at ER Sunday morning with extreme GI pains and it was gall stones.

For the record, I think Doctors do a bang up job, but I might be biased as I had ALL and TC and a ALL relapse before I was 18 and I lived, thanks to the good people at St. Mary's in Pierre, Mobridge Medical Clinic and all my homies on Floors 12 and 17 of the Mayo Clinc. Heres a shout-out to the anathesiologists at St. Mary's and the Methodist Hospital at Mayo as well.

Re:See a doctor.

[Twirlip of the Mists]

You're good. It wasn't gallstones, but it was a case of acute-onset cholecystitis. Abdominal CT revealed a grossly inflamed gall bladder. The cholecystitis was secondary to something, but I have to confess I can't remember what it was. Laparoscopic cholecystetomy solved the patient's problem. (My girlfriend performed the operation.) Oh, and just to drive the point home, the labs were basically no help here. The elevated white count indicated some kind of infection or inflammation, but they really didn't know anything more than that until the docs got a CT of the belly.

I'm glad to hear you made it through your bouts of ALL okay. (If anybody reading doesn't know, ALL stands for acute lymphocytic leukemia. It's the most common form of cancer in children. Fortunately, it's also one of the most survivable cancers; something like 70% of kids that have it end up completely cured.)

How did they treat you for your gallstones? Around here, protocol for treatment of gallstones is removal of the gall bladder, 'cause they've found that patients who keep their gall bladder have something like a 90% recurrence of cholecystitis, with or without stones, later in life. Easier to just snip it out and be done with it. But it's a surgeon telling me this, so take two grains of salt and call me in the morning. ;-)

The only thing I would say is that I wish you could know about this stuff by osmosis, like I do, rather than having to learn about it firsthand.

Re:See a doctor.

[cloudmaster]

Since you asked, yes, I have seen a lab report before. This is an incomplete report. I'll try anyway:

A CBC is: Hemoglobin, Hematocrit, RBC, WBC, Differential Platelet Count

A BMP is: Glucose, Calcium, Sodium, Potassium, CO2, BUN, Creatinine

A Liver Profile includes : GGT, AP, AST, ALT

These tests can vary by institution, but a CBC always includes the RBC value. This person is vomiting blood. It might be nice to know what color the blood is, the hemoglobin, and the RBC values.

Glucose can be ordered separately, but not with a BMP because it's part of the BMP. Must've been a beginning med student typing there, because they obviously didn't know that.

What about the patient history? Where is that? The last lab report I looked at had the patient's history included. I'm thinking this is a possible gall bladder disease. His potassium is low because he has been vomiting. His other electrolytes are probably low as well. It might be a good idea to check those out. The high protein levels can also be attributed to the vomiting. I'd call the lab and have them test the electrolytes. After that, I'd order a CT scan and an ultrasound.

My guess is that the CT scan will show that the gall bladder is a somewhat thicker than it should be and that the ultrasound will show an enlarged gall bladder. Since we don't have all of the information here, that's just a guess, though.

Next time, check out a microbiology or hematology lab report. The micro report will have a diagnosis and the antibiotic to treat it with. The doctor just reads the paper.

Is it my turn to come up with something tough? My wife graduated with a degree in CLS (clinical lab science). Four years of education. She came up with "gall bladder" in the time it took to read the scenario. I'll pass along some hematology scenarios if you want.

Re:See a doctor.

[Anonymous Coward]

fucking liar. u spent 2 days doing google searches so u could try to sound educated. uf you really thought "gall bladder" immediately, why didn't you post it? because ur a fucking liar who hates being caught in a lie, that's why, you fucking liar.

Re:See a doctor.

[Anonymous Coward]

Or perhaps I don't spend all day in front of slashdot (I've got a job, too), and replied as soon as I saw that there was a reply. But I suppose it's entirely possible that I'm a "fucking liar". :)

Looks like the medical student will have to come up with another example. Maybe next time it won't involve an area of the body that only has two major organs and lab results that rule out the pancreas.

Either way, my point that "the lab diagnoses and prescribes" still stands.

Silly troll.

Re:See a doctor.

[dihydrogen_monoxide]

Actually, I am his wife. I came up with the answer shortly after reading the scenario, which was sent to me in an e-mail *today*. Those were my words. I have a BS in clinical laboratory science. People that have that degree tend to know stuff about medical issues, especially when they pertain to the lab.
I didn't start reading slashdot until a few minutes ago when he posted what I typed to him. I just created an account here, so I can post stuff myself now.

Re:See a doctor.

[dihydrogen_monoxide]

You can rule out the liver easily too. :)

Re:See a doctor.

[dihydrogen_monoxide]

I think you are somewhat misinformed yourself. Obviously doctors diagnose stuff, but people in the lab are responsible for doing it as well. In microbiology labs, for instance, the microbiologists figure out what organism is causing a particular illness. Once the organism is identified, testing is done to learn which drugs that particular organism can and cannot tolerate. After deciding this, they report the organism and the drug that should be used to treat it.

Re:See a doctor.

[Twirlip of the Mists]

You do realize, don't you, that very few ailments are actually caused by bacteria? And in most cases, bacterial infection, when it occurs, is secondary to a larger problem. Heart disease, diabetes, cancer... none of these have anything at all to do with microbiology. Liver disease. Chronic kidney disease. Tumors, both malignant and benign. Hernias. Appendicitis. Cholecystitis. Pancreatitis. Strokes. Obstructive pulmonary diseases. Alzheimer's. Even traumas. The list goes on and on.

Microbiology is all well and good. But it's not helpful in the vast majority of cases, because most diseases that afflict the body aren't caused by infection. And we're not talking about a 60/40 ratio here or anything like that. The vast majority of ailments are not caused by infection, and are not treated with antibiotics.

Re:See a doctor.

[dihydrogen_monoxide]

I know exactly what you are talking about...(So far, my education has only been at the undergraduate level. That's not to say it was lacking, though.) Anyway, I didn't mean to say that every medical ailment has to do with microbiology. I was simply *giving an example* of a time when someone in the lab makes a diagnosis. :) That was all. I should have made my point more clear I suppose. Sorry.

Re:See a doctor.

[ScaddacS05]

Didn't the article say that warts are contagious????

You would expect this from the US Military...

[Anonymous Coward]

The basic idea is to tape over the warts and suffocate them.

You would expect this from the US Military. After all, they have alot of experience in using Duct Tape to suffocate undesirables...

Location: School of the Americas, Fort Benning, Georgia:

American General: "And as you can see, using Duct Tape, several Car Batteries, and a metal bed frame, you can quickly torture those nasty Zapatista Rebels into submission."

Mexican General: "Gosh, that's so easy! We need another source of cheap labor. I am ever so thankful General. Now, if only you could only cure these warts, I might be able to get one of my Zapatista slave girls to like me!"

America General looks at Diagram on the whiteboard. "Hmmm, well you know..."

Re:You would expect this from the US Military...

[Vuarnet]

American General: "And as you can see, using Duct Tape, several Car Batteries, and a metal bed frame, you can quickly torture those nasty Zapatista Rebels into submission."

Pfft! Car Batteries indeed. Everybody knows that spraying mineral water up the subject's nose is cheaper and just as efficient; nothing beats a good, old fashioned tehuacanazo. And for those who like to add some pizzazz to their torturing sessions, just add some powdered pepper to the mineral water.

(Wish I was kidding, but less than 20 years ago the Mexican police commonly used this technique to interrogate "criminals". Sad times indeed)

Hmmm....

[xagon7]

So now in addition to holding the Mir together before its demise, duct tape will suffocate warts.

News Headlines from 2050:

Duct Tape Cures Cancer!

Duct Tape Cures Aids!

Duct Tape Solves World Hunger!

Duct Tape Seals Cooling/Heating Ducts!

Re:Hmmm....

[Lenolium]

> Duct Tape Seals Cooling/Heating Ducts!
Funny thing, is that Duct tape is almost completely worthless on heating ducts, the tempature they get to is too high and the duct tape gule melts and it falls right off. Go and take a look at your ducts, they don't have duct tape on them, they have some really shiney type tape (which I forget what it is called).

Re:Hmmm....

[charstar]

it's just called "foil tape", made from thin aluminum.

I actually heard on the radio several months back that Duct Tape has been banned (at least in California) from use in ducting because it breaks down rather quickly.

Re:Hmmm....

[scrytch]

Funny thing, is that Duct tape is almost completely worthless on heating ducts

Yep. The stuff was originally called -- or nicknamed anyway -- "Duck Tape", not "Duct Tape", owing to its waterproof properties. It was made for the army, to seal ammunition cases. The military still uses awesome quantities of the stuff for just about everything to this day.

Re:Hmmm....

[Myco]

Sounds apocryphal -- source?

Re:Hmmm....

[JC97_AK3*]

Yea, but they call it "Hundred mile an hour" tape now. Supposedly something about airplanes, but I wouldn't fly in anything held together with the stuff. Used a fair amount of it on my tank, though.

The screen! It's so blue...

Re:Hmmm....

[ajd1474]

Duct tape is great at fixing just about anything!

I have found, however, that it is not a good idea to repair your toaster with duct tape.....

Re:Hmmm....

[Anonymous Coward]

"Duck Tape" is still a branded, trademarked product in the UK and Ireland, originally produced by a British adhesives manufacturer.

Strangely, most people call it "Gaffa Tape" in the UK...

Re:Hmmm....

[halightw]

Yes, we actually called it "Gun Tape" in the military and it was green not silver/grey.

Re:Hmmm....

[Planesdragon]

Sounds apocryphal -- source?

I've heard the same story--and I do believe that, like most things in America, the facination in and belief in Duck Tape came from the military. (Our coffee addition & love of cars came from there, too.)

Re:Hmmm....

[big_oaf]

Actually it's called 200 MPH tape in the NASCAR world. Not that I would actually admit knowing anything about NASCAR...

Re:Hmmm....

[xjosh]

sez the AC:

Strangely, most people call it "Gaffa Tape" in the UK...

That's because most British folks pronounce words that end in 'er' with the 'ah' sound (and vice-versa). (To go to the ocean, they will drive their Toyota Coroller to the watah).

They actually mean gaffer's tape, which is similar to duct tape, but typically more fabric-like and less plastic-like. It also typically has an adhesive that doesn't leave a residue when removed. It gets the name because it is commonly used by gaffers. Gaffers are the electricians and/or lighting technicians who work in film, and therefore need such a tape to secure the temporary wiring commonly required on sets.

Re:Hmmm....

[t]

There is a yellow variant called mach-tape, costs hundreds per roll but will stict to the outside of a plane as long as you of course don't exceed mach 1...

Original medical paper

[Tnylr]

From the Archives of Pediatrics and Adolescent Medicine

http://archpedi.ama-assn.org/issues/v156n10/rful l/ poa20075.html

Re:Original medical paper

[lostindenver]

I would mod this as informative exept that it Cost's an arm and a leg. I mean why does even reading something by a doctor require insurance.

Re:Original medical paper

[damien_kane]

"+1 Funny -1 Troll = 0 Ironic"

Alanis Morissette is neither funny nor a troll... Harpy maybe... or possibly a banshee? (Especially considering her appearance in Smith's Dogma).

Now the troll in LotR:FotR, that was a funny troll... I laughed my ass off when it bounded onto the screen...

"Sticky-sided duct tape"

[tswinzig]

As opposed to the other kind?

Simple wart treatment I've used:

[Unknown Poltroon]

1: 1/2 bottle Jack Daniels, applied internally.
2: 1 fork, tines heated red hot over gas stove
3: Apply hot fork tines CAREFULLY to center of wart area.
4: Swear a lot.
5: Big Profit!! (and no more wart, seriously)

Id say ill use duct tape in the future, but i think clearing off 1 wart this way scared all the others away permanently.

Re:Simple wart treatment I've used:

[mike3411]

I had a few warts on one hand, and after trying this (and others) what ended up working was some kind of beetle juice (no, I am not kidding, this was what the doctor said it was). A little was put on one wart, and within a month they were all gone.

I'd still take that 1/2 Jack Daniels though, just to be on the safe side.

Re:Simple wart treatment I've used:

[Guppy]

"what ended up working was some kind of beetle juice (no, I am not kidding, this was what the doctor said it was)"

Cantharidin. It's a blistering agent, extracted from (what else) the blister beetle.

BTW, cantharidin is also the substance known as "Spanish Fly". Although I do not recommend that anyone try drinking wart remover, as this substance is highly toxic when taken internally.

Re:Simple wart treatment I've used:

[ObitMan]

You didn't speak of this Beetlejuice more than three times did you?
That could lead to problems infinitly worse than warts.

Re:Simple wart treatment I've used:

[dmatos]

MasterBlaster runs barter town.

Re:Simple wart treatment I've used:

[lommer]

It's much easier to just use a soldering iron (the pen kind works best). This is how my brother did it, and he's never had warts since...

How did they ...

[dgb2n]

find this out? I have this vision of some soldier in a fox hole wrapping his feet with duct tape and suddenly realizing that all his skin (including some offending wart) had just sloughed off his feet.

Seriously though. Where do they come up with this stuff?

Re:How did they ...

[Anonymous Coward]

Pretend the army has 4 solders, and each solder has warts:

- First solder: control group. Nothing is done to his wart.

- Second Solder: Doctors apply duct tape to his warts

- Third solder: Expose solders feet to a nuclear blast

- Forth solder: Exposed to Antrax.

Results:

- The forth solder dies from anthrax.

- The second solder does not have warts, but that's because his feet fell off off after the nuclear blast.

- The first solder still has warts.

- The second solder does not have warts.

Therefore, the method applied to the second solder (duct tape), cures warts, without curing the patient.

Hehe

[RedWolves2]

This reminds me of an old saying my dad used to say...or was it Tim Allen:

If you can't fix it duct it!

Re:Hehe

[spencerogden]

Or the corollary: "If you can duct it, fuck it"

And if you cover you nose and mouth...

[hbmartin]

the duct tape will cure you of hiccups! In fact, it'll cure of everything!! Except your mortality, that is.

Re:And if you cover you nose and mouth...

[MalleusEBHC]

In fact, it'll cure of everything!! Except your mortality, that is.

Pff, n00b. Obviously you aren't that skilled with duct tape.

Possible Method of Action

[Guppy]

"The basic idea is to tape over the warts and suffocate them"

Since common warts are caused by a virus, it seems unlikely that you could literally "suffocate" it.

I'm guessing that a possible mode of action is that, by irritating the area, the duct tape is setting up a mild, local inflammation. Most warts eventually go away spontaneously, when the immune system recgnizes the virus, and a bit of inflammation would speed this process up. A number of existing anti-wart agents are believed to work this way.

Re:Possible Method of Action

[archeopterix]

Since common warts are caused by a virus, it seems unlikely that you could literally "suffocate" it.

You don't suffocate the virus itself, you just kill the skin cells attacked by the virus. I think all of the wart treatment methods do that - freezing, burning, acid, you name it.

Re:Possible Method of Action

[ScaddacS05]

I think the people who are suggesting this type of treatment use the word "suffocate" as a type of pillow for the extremely snesitive house wives who feel the need to take their kid to the emergency room over a splinter. But really i think that it kills the skin rather than suffocating it. Like when you put a badn aid on for a long period of time, when it is removed your skin is whiter and your able to remove layers wihtout causing the skin to break and bleed.

Paging Dr. Duct Tape

[Optical Voodoo Man]

I can hear the good Doctor now, telling me how wise I was to duct tape up my wounds.

"You know, leprosy treatment has proceeded a great deal since the linen rag days. Why now, we just wrap you up in duct tape. Hell, it'll even hold the leaches on better."

Not so farfetched...

[Danse]

I have a couple of warts on my foot. I've been getting a laser treatment. They zap my foot repeatedly with a laser to kill the warts. It's not much fun, trust me. That took care of the worst one, but there are a couple others that were stubborn. Now my doctor has me putting this cream on them at night and then covering it with duct tape. In the morning I remove the tape and scrub the area with a pumice stone while I'm showering. It's only been a week so far, but it's looking pretty good. Hopefully they'll be gone for good pretty soon.

No more warty troll?

[gCGBD]

I'm going to have to change my domain from wartytroll.com to ductapytroll.com ?
Most strange.

Well, Trolls aren't very bright, but then again they do have a thing for duct tape, don't they?

What to do? what to do?

Registered owner of the wartytroll.com domain....

Great so far, .....

[Tablizer]

...but what do I use to remove the duct tape?

Re:Great so far, .....

[Anonymous Coward]

Hairy like me, eh?

Know what ya mean.

Re:Great so far, .....

[Anonymous Coward]

WD-40!

If you need to stick it together, use duct tape,
if you need to get it apart, use WD-40.

my motto in life

It's called Foil Tape...

[Svartalf]

It's really thick aluminum foil with adhesive on it.

But...

[cornjchob]

it's got a long ways to go before it will ever be able to compete with the Inanimate Carbon Rod

go away spontaniously?

[Kyrn]

riiiiiiiight. I had one on my big toe from about 10 years old. Do I have no imune system? I used topical medicine that came with a little brush for years. That didn't work. It got frozen off once. Didn't work. Frozen again. Didn't work. Tried many times to rip it out but it would come back. It finally died after freezing it three times in one day. Damn that hurts. Warts are some sort of evil incarnate.

your sig.... (atashi no baka da yo)

[Kyrn]

cannot recall what the heck your sig is a parody from for the life of me....I can remember the line, but what's it from?

Re:your sig.... (atashi no baka da yo)

[mike3411]

Hrm, I'm not entirely sure if you're joking, but it's from Star Wars, of course :P
The scene where Obi Wan warns Vader in the death star hanger.

Re:your sig.... (atashi no baka da yo)

[Kyrn]

No, I was not joking. I'm just that absent minded and clueless today:) I knew it was something obvious like that. It's like when you walk downstairs to go get something and can't remember what it was, then you feel stupid.

Re:your sig.... (atashi no baka da yo)

[Anonymous Coward]

It's like when you walk downstairs to go get something and can't remember what it was, then you feel stupid.

Story of your life.

Sorry, just trying to get cheap laughs as an AC.

You can become ORDAINED in minutes too

[Kyrn]

at the Church of Universal Life. Go to google, for I am not going to go find the link for you. I'm a reverend, and so are my brother and several friends:)

anata wa baka da...

[Anonymous Coward]

Star Wars. No bloody 1,2,5 OR 6.

Warts? Try supplements

[Anonymous Coward]

If you've got warts, acne, athlete's foot, or other skin conditions, there's a very large likelihood you're zinc deficient. Since the soil has been so over-farmed for the last 50+ years, it's no longer possible for most people (need levels vary) to get enough zinc from just their diet any longer, no matter how "healthfully" they eat.

Seriously, zinc is real safe, try taking it for a while and see if your warts don't disappear. Mine did.

Duct Tape Cures Bush

[Snafoo]

Latest Dubya Quote: "mmmphhmmmppffbpt"

Re:Duct Tape Cures Bush

[Myco]

Odd that he'd become so much more comprehensible at the end like that...

Re:Duct Tape Cures Bush

[hplasm]

Duct tape cures bush, but it doesn't half hurt when you rip it off.. makes you limp for a week, too.

Whatever you think...

[Perdo]

..will get rid of your warts, will.

Warts respond to placibos like nothing else does. Your body's immune system can easily get rid of them. Stress prevents your immune system from removing them. Getting a "cure", any cure, will reduce your stress and your immune system will do its job.

The best placibo should be something ingrained in the mind with the ability to fix anything. Duct tape is an absolutely perfect placibo candidate.

Top story mods

[isorox]

Is there any way to mod this story as (-1: Ewww)?

Nail Varnish Works very well too

[NigelJohnstone]

Seen a friend of mine use it. Paint over the wart and renew it whenever it wears off.

Ah hah!

[mary_will_grow]

No wonder my genital warts have disappeared!

Re:Warts? Try supplements

[Anonymous Coward]

So you're saying what? Eat a penny today?

What worked for me

[Technician]

I thought just making the environment unpleasant may discourage them. I had three new ones on the back of my hand. Everytime I washed my hands, I put a small dab of dish detergent directly on the warts and left it on. The warts were gone in about 3 weeks never to return. I did this in high school. I now have grandkids. (I don't think the soap caused grandkids. I had to mention something funny as this is a serious post in a humor catagory.)

I heard about this on NPR

[ReidMaynard]

The doctors think there is something in the adhesive of the duct tape, which triggers a humans antibodies which attack the warts.

In fact, it seems to cure all warts, not just those covered by duct tape.

The directions were, cut a small piece of DT to cover the wart: (a) 6 days on; (b) 1 day off (c) repeate for a month or two.

Evidently parents really like this cus the duct tape is cheap and *stays on*.

Planters wart removal

[macdaddy]

This is on and off topic but I see that planters warts have already been discussed, so I'll comment on them.

I had a stressful period last year. Because of that I developed some planters warts. (FYI, warts are caused by a virus. However on a healthy individual, the virus doesn't normally cause problems. Things like job problems, lack of sleep, near-death experience, etc.. raises stress levels which in turn adversely affects your immune system. Ever notice how pimples appeared right before prom when you were a kid?). I went to my family doctor to treatment when I had only 1 to deal with. I assumed I had a splinter under the skin that festered up into a ball or something. Nope. Planters wart. He said it could be cut out, burnt out, or frozen out. He recommended freezing. That's what I opted to go with. A few shots of liquid nitrogen later and I was on my way. Well it blistered, pussed up, caused more pain. Eventually the blistering went down but the wart remained. I didn't do anything about it for a while, about 4-5 months. It slowly grew. Then one day I noticed that about 4 more little bitty ones just popped up. Eww.. That's when I called my HS dermatologist. He worked miracles on me before like the case of sporo-tricosys (sp?) I developed on my elbow. He had me come in right away. He took one look at them and told me what he was going to do. He said he was going to give me shots right in the warts with a certain substance that was supposed to disolve warts. It didn't sound like fun but the original wart had grown to be about the size of a quarter, hard and crusty, and oozed puss on occasion. I bit the bullet and let him do it. He was nice enough to give me locals in each wart before proceding and to have a pretty nurse hold my ass down while he did it. He shot all of the warts (and suspect areas) full of whatever that stuff was. He also instructed me to not wash my feet for about a day. The day after that I went to take a shower. The little bastards had already turned black! The huge thing on my heal was blackish green. Cool! Anyways, the little ones slowly popped out over the course of a week or two. The skin immediately around them dried a little bit and they just fell out. The stuff inside the big one, under the hard layer of skin, turned to goo and literally oozed out one day. Made a nice green stain on my sock too. Over the next month that dead skin got harder and eventually peeled off.

I'm happy to say I'm wart-free now. Moral of the story, give a dermatologist a chance to fight skin problems BEFORE taking drastic measures like burning, cutting, or freezing. The really can work miracles some times.

Re:Planters wart removal

[gravelpup]

After reading the parent, I propose a new mod category: Disgusting.

I can't decide if it should be +1 or -1 though.

Re:Planters wart removal

[Anonymous Coward]

oh man that made me want to puke....mod parent up for echoing my stomach's feelings.

Re:Planters wart removal

[Havokmon]

After reading the parent, I propose a new mod category: Disgusting.

I can't decide if it should be +1 or -1 though.

I think I had one of those in High School. It was on the palm of my hand, just below my 'pinkey knuckle'. Because I never did anything in class, one day I spent about an hour just picking at it, trying to see what it was.

After picking, and pulling, and a little digging, I finally squeezed it hard enough that a 1/8" 'thing' popped out of my hand like a zit.
It bled like hell after that, but never came back.

Gaff Tape - The Rolls Royce� of Duct Tape

[teamhasnoi]

If you've never gotten a roll of Gaffer's Tape (Cloth with duct tape-esque adhesive), you haven't lived.

You can apply gaffers tape to any surface and remove it *years later* with no sticky crap left over (see duct, electrical, packing, & masking tape) It is very strong and excellent for taping down cables(it is used by stage crews to do just that), or a quick hinge on a box, or cover a blister(wart) or pretty much anything that duct tape will do.

Unfortunately, it does not like to stick to wet surfaces; apply it to dry surfaces and it is great!

Best yet, it comes in all manner of colors(white, black, blue, green, neon pink & neon green are some I have seen)!

It's usually sold at pro-audio music stores (Think PA systems). Definitely worth finding.

If you can't...

[Dim_Slashdot]

duct it f**k it!

sorry couldn't help it. Oops.. one more...

If duct tape can't fix it, it's broke.

Sorry, I feel better now

Re: How do they find time for golf?

[tomhudson]

They make up for it by becoming proctologists. Then they get PAID to do 18 holes a day!.

Mind you, the downside is having to explain that their job consists of working with a bunch of assholes.

since this supposed to be about humor...

[Anonymous Coward]

Why is duct tape like the force?

Because it has a light side and a dark side, and it binds the universe together.

NOT considered suffocation

[David Leppik]

I heard an interview with the researcher on NPR this morning (recording of the show), and there is no known cause.

The researcher's hypothesis is that the irritation of the tape encourages immune response. One piece of anecdotal evidence supporting that is that some people claimed that other warts elsewhere on the body were also affected to some degree.

I don't believe it!

[Anonymous Coward]

No one saw a connection to Red Green here?

Oh well.

Re:I don't believe it!

[Adrenochrome]

Someone did, it's just that you just missed the reference...

well...

[radiashun]

...U.S. Army researchers said on Monday...

it's great to see our homeland defense money going towards counterterrorism. i think i've figured out their reasoning. since this monumental discovery can rid our society of warts, whenever we see some shady guy at the airport, all we have to do is check him for warts. from here on, having warts == terrorist (or shady tourist. eitherway, go home!)

The definitive list

[rppp01]

I had no idea.....

46. Contraceptive device.

Re:The definitive list

[Gerry Gleason]

There are a lot of things on the list that probably shouldn't be tried and/or could not possible work. Some like this one clearly require more details to even be considered a real suggestion, dubious or not. On the other hand, there are a good number of things on the list that I have acually used duct tape for. I only have a few minor variants not on the list.

Re:duct tape cures threat

[perfessor multigeek]

it's great to see our homeland defense money going towards counterterrorism. i think i've figured out their reasoning. since this monumental discovery can rid our society of warts, whenever we see some shady guy at the airport, all we have to do is check him for warts. from here on, having warts == terrorist (or shady tourist. eitherway, go home!)

No! No! No! You're not getting it *at all*! This is actually superb information and utterly crucial for fighting terrorists.
If you see (wart/shady guy at airport) then cover (wart/shady guy) in such a way as to prevent any air from reaching worrysome area. Leave (wart/shady guy) without oxygen for six days and clean off any dead residue. Repeat several times or until all signs of threat are gone.
See? Our military has come through again.
Rustin

Stones that Gall me

[Wyatt Earp]

I've not been treated yet. Just got the diagnosis on Sunday morning between the morphine shots for the pain. I've been through alot of cancer treatments, so I have a pretty high threshold for pain, but I was wiped out by the gall stones.

The elevated WBC threw me off, since I didn't have an elevated WBC on Sunday, but the pain symptoms just told me it was something in the gall bladder area.

I'm going to avoid an operation if I can, I've had 8 and I don't want to have another. If OHSU won't do what I need done, I'll go to Mayo Clinic again, maybe Mayo Scottsdale since my cousin has a bitchin' pad down there.

Back in the day when I got ALL (Oct of 1980), the rates for 5 year survival was about 32% for males. I recall the Doctor telling me that I would not live to be 12. Then when I relapsed, the day after being cured (Nov '82) I was told I had 3 years before I'd get it again.

Treatment back then was pretty rough as well, a former boss and I consider ourselves to be OG Cancer Survivors.

My family has lost 2 others to cancer in the last 12 years too. Brain and Lung cancer.

Re:Stones that Gall me

[Twirlip of the Mists]

I'm going to avoid an operation if I can

Laparoscopic surgery is about as painless-- both literally and metaphorically-- as it gets. It's all done with endoscopes and little tools that fit through half-inch tubes. You'll have two or three one-inch incisions in your abdomen. You may be kept overnight in the hospital for observation, but usually they only do that if you're exhibiting nausea and vomiting after surgery. Chances are you'll go home that night, especially if they do you first thing in the morning. You'll be posting on Slashdot by dinnertime, tracking me down and saying things like, "You lying fucker, it hurt like a son of a bitch, I hate you you liar!" It'll be great. ;-)

My family has lost 2 others to cancer in the last 12 years too. Brain and Lung cancer.

Gosh, I'm really sorry. I hope you don't think I'm being insensitive, but is there a reason for this? Some cancers, like breast cancer, are linked to a gene, but I'm not aware of genetic links between different types of cancer. Do you have any idea what the root cause of this is? Or, worst of all, is it just a horrible coincidence?

Cancer Causes

[Wyatt Earp]

Honestly, we don't know. There is a higher than average cancer rate for most cancers in the county we lived in.

Grew up on a farm, chemicals, fuels, radon, substation across the road, all sorts of possible causes.

Dunno what the deal is, but theres alot of cancer back there.

Re:duct tape cures threat

[radiashun]

haha, i stand corrected :-)

Re:Warts? Try supplements

[lommer]

no, pennies are copper.

eat a nickel - they're plated with zinc.

Re:Warts? Try supplements

[Tower]

Ah, pennies these days are but a copper shell around a zinc center... one easy trick is to scratch part of the edge of a penny off, then place it in some nitic acid*, and soon you have a hollow penny - the zinc is dissolved very quickly, and the thin copper shell is clean and crushable...fun and entertaining.

(*) - I take no responsibility for any accidents you may have involving acids...

The Feds are always one step behind...

[failrate]

My sister did the same thing years ago. The duct tape also rips off the protective outer wart covering thing-y.

Two words: Soldering iron... You gotta want it.

[Mustang Matt]

I've got what I believe to be a wart on my knee. Soon I'll have duct tape on my knee.

What about moles?

[Anonymous Coward]

Is there anything I can do to moles?

I've got them everywhere!

I dug one on my arm out at work one day with a letter opener. It bled profusely. I had blood all over my clothes, looked terrible for a meeting I had later that day. The next couple of weeks it hurt like mad crazy, now I think I've got a slight case on gangrene.

I'm not sure what to do at this point. I'm a software developer and work doesn't provide benefits. I simply can't afford them so sometimes I have to "improvise."

Anyone have any ideas? I don't think it would be such a bad idea except the "rotten cheese" smell is hard to hide.

Re:What about moles?

[hplasm]

Here's the cure for moles..

1. http://xyzzy.org.uk/bob/moles.html

Wart Removal by Magic

[Parsa]

I haven't read this entire thread to know if this has been posted yet but I promise I did this and it worked within days.

Take a wheat penny and during a full moon rub it on your warts then bury the penny and don't tell anyone where you buried it.

Sounds ludicrous (sp?) but my warts were gone for my junior prom.

J

Re:Wart Removal by Magic

[dnahelix]

My step-sister, years ago when we were kids, had several warts on her hands. Her mom took her to this old lady in south Georgia who was supposed to know how to get rid of warts (among other witch-doctor like remedies) Well, a few months later my step sister is showing me how all her warts were gone! I asked her what the old lady did and she told me that the old lady had instructed her to bring a penny with her, and that was all she could tell me! She said if she told me what the old lady did with the penny, the warts would come back. She never told me and her warts never came back.

I wonder...

[ScaddacS05]

you think it would work on genital warts as well? sure would hurt taking the tape off