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Lord of the Rings: Two Towers Reviews Rolling In

Posted by CmdrTaco on from the are-we-there-yet-mommy dept.

flogger writes "After the first showing of The Two Towers, the reviews are now coming in. They are positive and SPOILER FILLED. Reviews can be found here, here and a short one here." Don't say you weren't warned. I'm not reading them. I finished re-reading TTT saturday, and am ready to see Ents walk.

41 of 414 comments (clear)

  1. Spoiler filled? by Grylle · · Score: 5, Funny

    Like, there is something not in the books?

    1. Re:Spoiler filled? by Ledora · · Score: 2, Funny

      Pictures and sound

    2. Re:Spoiler filled? by halftrack · · Score: 5, Funny

      Apologies to whoever on slashdot who once wrote something very similar to this.

      I've got this genious rendering engine called B.R.A.I.N. It renders hundreds of thousands of characters realtime and it looks so realistic. All you have to do is input a text (ASCII not an requirement) and it output gorgeous scenes instantanious.

      --
      Look a monkey!
    3. Re:Spoiler filled? by 91degrees · · Score: 3, Funny

      The spoilers:

      The butler did it.

      It turns out that he was dead all along.

      She's a guy.

    4. Re:Spoiler filled? by AyeRoxor! · · Score: 2, Funny

      "I've got this genious rendering engine called B.R.A.I.N. It renders hundreds of thousands of characters in realtime and the output looks incredibly realistic. All you have to do is input some text (ASCII not an requirement), and it outputs gorgeous scenes instantaniously."

      WOW! I know some people who could use one of these...

    5. Re:Spoiler filled? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      No, her wife is.*rimshot*

      Thank you, I'll be here all week. Try the fish.

    6. Re:Spoiler filled? by jallen02 · · Score: 3, Funny

      Another of my favorite responses to the threads about games where people get hung up on FPS.

      Goes something like..

      "That is nothing, I can get several trillion polygons with billions of colors at thousands of frames per second! It is called outside, you should try it some time. Check out the cool wind special effects some time as well ;)"

      Jeremy

    7. Re:Spoiler filled? by gowen · · Score: 2, Funny

      You missed:
      He's "mother"
      Vader is Luke's father
      Samuel L. Jackson caused all those accidents
      He dies in the end. Judas betrays him.

      --
      Athletic Scholarships to universities make as much sense as academic scholarships to sports teams.
    8. Re:Spoiler filled? by Ilan+Volow · · Score: 3, Funny

      Gandalf kicks some booty in Isengard while Johnny Cash's "ring of fire" plays in the background. It annoys the purists, but I think the scene kicks ass.

      --
      Ergonomica Auctorita Illico!
    9. Re:Spoiler filled? by tigertigr · · Score: 2, Funny

      Outside? Like this?

    10. Re:Spoiler filled? by Cruciform · · Score: 4, Funny

      Wow, you need to learn to read faster. :)

    11. Re:Spoiler filled? by Tetsujin28 · · Score: 5, Funny
      He dies in the end. Judas betrays him.

      Man, you didn't stay until the end of the credits, did you? Yeah, he dies at the end, but get this -- three days later they go to the gravesite, and IT'S EMPTY! Creepy, right? But then he actually like shows up and it turns out he came back to life. Seriously, dude. His old friends are freaked out for a while, but then they get used to it. And then they all hang out on the beach and have this fish barbecue, but I'm not sure what's up with that.

      --
      - - - -
      The real Tetsujin 28 is a giant robot.
    12. Re:Spoiler filled? by gowen · · Score: 2, Funny

      Aww, thats just a rip off of the ending of Carrie...

      --
      Athletic Scholarships to universities make as much sense as academic scholarships to sports teams.
    13. Re:Spoiler filled? by junkgrep · · Score: 4, Funny

      You left out the easter egg at the end where it's revealed that he's the king of the vampires. His followers drink his body and blood to take on his undying powers and spread out through the world looking to turn others to their master's will.

    14. Re:Spoiler filled? by Daetrin · · Score: 3, Funny
      Maybe the battle of Helm's Deep turns out differently, Denethor throws in his lot with the Uruk Hai? This obsession with 'spoilers' can be taken too far. If people really don't want to know what happens in the movie they shouldn't watch it or read about it.

      Not watch it? That seems a bit extreme.

      Perhaps they should put a new message up at theatres, "Warning, this movie contains spoilers for this movie."

      --
      This Space Intentionally Left Blank
  2. Offensive title by 91degrees · · Score: 4, Funny

    I really wish the media would stop trying to cash in on the events of 9/11. I think this title will upset many people.

    What was wrong with The Lord of the Rings II?

    1. Re:Offensive title by mgv · · Score: 0, Funny

      I really wish the media would stop trying to cash in on the events of 9/11. I think this title will upset many people.

      Actually, it was the name of the second book a long time before 9/11. In fact, it really has nothing to do with the WTC, except by your own interpretation.

      Michael

      --
      There is no cryptographic solution to the problem where the intended receiver and the attacker are the same entity.
    2. Re:Offensive title by Rubbersoul · · Score: 3, Funny

      Man the words Hook, Line, and Sinker come to mind from some reason

      --
      man .sig
      No manual entry for .sig.
    3. Re:Offensive title by 91degrees · · Score: 4, Funny

      Don't be daft. The novelisation's title can't have been decided on before the film was made.

    4. Re:Offensive title by onnellinen · · Score: 5, Funny

      Yeah. Let's name it "Attack of the Orcs".

    5. Re:Offensive title by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

      No, it's being renamed The Twin Towers. Or better yet, The World Trade Center, New York City. Or how about, Attack of the Terrorist Drones. Maybe The Phantom Arab Menace? A New Hope for the Al-Quaeda Network? The 'Evil Empire' Strikes Back? Return of the Mujadeen?

      2001: An Urban Crisis Odyssey? Osama of Arabia? The Wizard of Afghanistan? The Day the Earth Watched TV? Birth of a Palestinian Nation? Casabinladen?

    6. Re:Offensive title by 91degrees · · Score: 2, Funny

      I looked for the J.R.R Tolkien section, but couldn't find it. Is it anywhere near the fantasy section?

    7. Re:Offensive title by clickety6 · · Score: 5, Funny

      Surely in line with modern thinking, the Trilogy should realy be

      The Hobbit Episode II, III and IV,
      and then the Hobbit will be released about 20 years from now, along with enhanced Episodes II, III and IV featuring a digitally inserted Tom Bombadil with a Jamaican accent and dreadlocks.

      Or wait, should they be The Silmarillion Episodes III, IV and V

      Or maybe...

      --
      ----------------------------------- My Other Sig Is Hilarious -----------------------------------
    8. Re:Offensive title by artemis67 · · Score: 3, Funny

      I vote for:

      Lord of the Rings II: Electric Boogaloo

      and maybe a huge dance number on the battle front with Michael Jackson and 40,000 orcs.

    9. Re:Offensive title by Lemmy+Caution · · Score: 4, Funny

      "Dude, Where's My Ring?"

  3. Spoilers?!? by halftrack · · Score: 5, Funny

    What have the world come to when the submitters warn the /. crowd about spoilers in a LOTR movie. Doesn't the entire /. crowd know it by heart?? It ... makes me sad.

    --
    Look a monkey!
  4. LOTR by Konster · · Score: 2, Funny

    ...I've never read the books.

    Where can I get the Cliff's Notes?

  5. Not in the book... by Hoarse+Whisperer · · Score: 5, Funny

    Turns out Frodo is Sauron's son.

    1. Re:Not in the book... by tanveer1979 · · Score: 4, Funny

      moderation totals:Informative=1, Funny=1, Total=2

      Funny information isnt it... moderators repeat after me: I wont have crack early in morning,
      I wont have crack early in morning,
      I wont have crack early in morning,
      I wont have crack early in morning,
      ......
      --
      My Aurora : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o91ZsGwJYyg
      FB : https://www.facebook.com/TanveersPhotography
  6. Spoilers right in the story by daffmeister · · Score: 5, Funny
    I am ready to see Ents walk.

    Well that's ruined that bit for me.

    1. Re:Spoilers right in the story by warrior_on_the_edge_ · · Score: 2, Funny

      Lucky he didn't mention the ent tripping over a tree root.

  7. Noooo! by redNuht · · Score: 2, Funny

    I hate you Taco, I hate you! I was avoiding all those spoilers and reading the spoiler-free Slashdot frontpage and you tell me that ENTS CAN WALK!?

    I don't wanna see that movie anymore.

  8. TruthMedia review by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    It should be interesting to see what TruthMedia makes of the Second film after their review of the first.

  9. PLEASE STOP POSTING JOKES by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny
    • Can you imagine a Beowulf cluster of Duby8'=w88754onQx87548754o8754mk=8km!!!
    • ???
    • All your base are belong to Natalie Bortman
  10. Choice quote from one review: by Anarchofascist · · Score: 5, Funny

    Talking about the fight scene in Helm's Deep:

    "...made ATTACK OF THE CLONES look like it was shot in a barn with hand puppets."

    --
    Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more, Or close the wall up with our American dead!
  11. Re:Trolling avoidance FAQ V1.0b by silicon_synapse · · Score: 3, Funny

    Also, if you talk about Microsoft, write Microsoft or MS, not Micro$oft, M$, MicroShit, MicroShaft, MickeySoft of any variation of these.

    Is Micros~1 acceptable?

  12. "I'm not reading them" by fungus · · Score: 5, Funny

    Don't say you weren't warned. I'm not reading them. I finished re-reading TTT saturday, and am ready to see Ents walk.

    Since when the editors read the articles anyway? :)

  13. On a good day... by artemis67 · · Score: 4, Funny

    Aint It Cool acts like it is slashdotted. Linking to an aintitcool.com story on Slashdot is only pouring more gasoline on the fire.

  14. Re:I can wait... by Lemmy+Caution · · Score: 3, Funny

    Oh, you've seen my brother's wedding videos, too....

  15. Re:p2p? by elementik · · Score: 3, Funny
    I tried to download the second Harry Potter movie and got a pr0n and the first Harry Potter movie instead!
    Which one did you watch first?
    --
    --- Stop the world! I want to get off!
  16. Re:Offensive title (supplemental) by Vegan+Pagan · · Score: 3, Funny

    After all, Sauron lives in the White House and Saruman lives in London.