Slashdot Mirror
Old Age Simulator
quackking writes "Tired of being young and healthy? Now you can simulate your own old age. This story describes a sensory-modification suit which, among other things, selectively blocks out certain sound frequencies, and lets you experience arthritis."
If using this sounds like too much work, you can just put it off and eventually it will all sort it's self out in the end.
"Everything you know is wrong. (And stupid.)"
Moderation Totals: Wrong=2, Stupid=3, Total=5.
That doesn't sound very fun. What about a young-person simulator for the older folks?
I'm already old and unhealthy. Will I feel young and healthy if I wear that suit inside-out? What happens if I wear it as is? Do I die?
See charts for twitter trends on Trendistic
What about a young-person simulator for the older folks?
it's called viagra
The ENIAC Demo Competition
get kids. In no time, your hearing capabilities get reduced fenomenaly, and once they weigh over 15kg, arthritis is instantaneous.
Aditionally, they give you migraine and insomnia, and once they get into puberty, a stroke seems more familiar than a quiet day.
When will I end this grieving ? When will my future begin ?
Does the suit thingy force you to tell 'back in my day' stories about walking uphill in the snow barefoot to chop firewood and spend a nickle on a movie?
"Sic Semper Tyrannosaurus Rex."
Well how come my finacee's grandmother cycles 4 miles per day most days? She's far fitter than I am, and I'm 27!
Not to mention this guy. He's 86 and would probably make most Slashdotters look about 186...
Sorry, but my karma just ran over your dogma.
"This is what you got to look forward to, if you keep haning around. Shall I call Dr. Kevorkian now? We have his office on speed-dial."
Will version II of the suit also screw up your short-term memory and give you bad skin?
Information wants to be anthropomorphized.
According to this Wired article, Ford has developed one of these systems (they're calling it the third age suit), designed to add thirty years to your age so that their designers can get a sense of how old people feel in their cars. The guys that designed the Focus all had to wear these things for a while and play with Ford's other cars when they were in the design stages of teh interior, to get a sens of what worked and what didn't for older people.
I also find it neat that the Toyota Echo was expressely designed for older people (or says the dealer). Personally, I thought older people liked to drive huge cars like Buicks and Caddies (even ones from the eighties), but my grandmother has an Echo and loves it. The seats are high up and the hood is short for more visability, and all the nobs and dials seem bigger than usual for cars that size. Makes me laugh seeing twenty-somethings driving them...
Cue The Sun...
Future plans include a picture of Janet Reno visible from the inside of the helmet, to simulate impotence... (ok, that's not very nice :-)
Simulate arthritis? Make all of you joints ache? Is this what being old is for all of the elderly? I think not, my friend's father is well over 70 years old, but he bikes everyday, works out, and lives an active lifestyle. Sure he doesn't rave every weekend like a 20 year old, but he lives a very fulfilling life. I'm going skiing with him in a week. This article paints a picture that this machine shows how elderly feel, but in my opinion it paints an extreme case. The elderly can have productive pain free lives.
How they do this, is by taking care of themselves while they are young. Eating right and exercising are great ways to keep you body working at peak performance, so when you do get old, everything still works.
This machine would have the people who try it believe that all the elderly feel this bad all the time. It might lead some to think that euthanasia is the answer or that we should treat the elderly as helpless people, unable to even get onto a bike. Perhaps we shouldn't even let them drive.
A better machine would be one that would show the effects of aging based on the wearer's health, fitness, and diet today and project how they would be in 40 years or so with those same habits. It may reinforce their good health now, or for those who are overweight, show them how diabetes, arthritis, and other diseases will stem from their current state. Then the wearer could see how it would feel if they actually took better care of themselves now. Now that would be a good machine for exploring old age.
I plan on living a long, healthy life.
This suit won't apply to me personally. Some people, yes. But those people are the same folks who eat fast-food once or twice a day, never exercise, don't have any spiritual beliefs or practices.
Jack La Lanne is nearly 100 years old, yet he looks 65 and still works out every day. I was born in the 1970s, and I plan on living well into my 120s and 130s. I'm not kidding.
- Eat healthy food. Pretend you're a car. Would you put sugar into your gas tank? Of course not. So don't eat junk food either.
- Exercise. It keeps your mind clean and your body healthy.
- Listen to music. It soothes the soul. Playing music is even better.
- Smile a lot. Be happy. Happy people live longer. They like being alive!
- Have sex/masturbate frequently. The chemicals released during sexual activity make you feel better and aid normal day-to-day activities.
- Don't smoke.
- Don't drink.
- Have beliefs. There has to be some spiritual basis in your mind. You don't have to be Catholic or anything, but that doesn't mean you can't do yoga or pray to some higher power.
Quit your Coca-Cola + Frito Lay + Computer habit that dominates many of your lives. I eat pears, apple slices with peanut butter, celery & peanut butter, raisins, nuts, cereal, etc. while at the computer. Most of you probably don't. Ditch those M&Ms for some healthy trail mix!
Oh God, and please smile too! Life isn't that rough. It'll be better if you take things as they come. Just ENJOY being alive! Life is interesting if nothing else.
And keep games to moderation. This includes Slashdot. Too much of any one thing is bad. Life your life in moderation. Sleep well!
Good things will come, and you and I will still be roaming these hills for 100+ years to come!
This suit is designed specifically to give manufacturers an idea of the ease of use of their products, by people that are elderly.
Yes you may know some 70 year olds that are fitter then 30 year olds, but there are alot that have trouble performing everyday tasks.
This suit is a pretty neat idea on how to make better design choices.
That sounds terrific. Because if there's one thing I'm tired of, it's all those damn old people marching around, bragging about their loss of hearing, uncontrollable trembling, and incontinence.
Kudos to the scientists who came up with this miracle device. Drive-thru windows insured that I don't have to wait for my hamburger. Fotomat made certain I wouldn't have to wait for my pictures. Now, thanks to this wondrous creation, I don't even have to wait to feel old!!
Seriously: The next time you scientists wake up bored, on a rainy Sunday, looking for something to do...CANCER. Forget Viagra, Rogaine, and "old machines." CURE CANCER.
Christ...
Please don't read my journal
Contrary to the fantasies of the young, much of how you feel as you age depends on luck and genetics, not lifestyle. Lifestyle certainly counts, but we don't even know what is best. For example, exercise a lot and if you aren't lucky and careful, you will have *more* arthritis as you age. Eat well and when you get old you may discover that what was thought was eating well was no longer the best.
I had the misfortune to contract an intestinal infection relatively young. It triggered an autoimmune disorder that has caused me trouble for over 20 years. Lifestyle had nothing to do with it! Now I am an old fart with arthritis (and not from overexercising I guarantee you!). Friends of mine who were in took care of themselves are dead from various causes (cancer, stroke, etc).
People want to believe they are immortal and in control of things. I see this the most in pilots (which I used to be) as they analyze how *they* wouldn't make the stupid mistakes that just killed one of their peers. The cult of exercise is a similar psychological phenomenon. A lot of people believe, deep down, that if they exercise well and eat the right stuff (and maybe avoid pesticides or power plants, or wear tin hats when the UFOs fly over), they will live forever... or at least long enough that they need not consider their mortality. I think this is one reason that people have such extreme emotional reactions to certain kinds of risk - such as nuclear power or trace chemical contaminants.
There is no doubt that moderate exercise is better than no exercise, and that overweight is worse than not being overweight. Beyond that, it's far less clear what to do. Probably the most important determinant, for someone in our prosperous society, is what parents they chose.
The only good weather is bad weather.
Quake 3 on....
50-60's - IBM PS/1 or a Tandy 1000 EX with the external 5.25" fopppy drive. 300bps modem sold seperate.
60's-70's - Radio Shack Color Computer 2, Commodor 64, or an old TI 99/4A. Acustic couplers sold seperate.
70's+ - MITS Altair 8800 where the frame rate is dependent on how quickly you interpret the lights and turn the knobs on an Etcha-Sketch. Tin cans and string sold sperate.
~~ Behold the flying cow with a rail gun! ~~