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FTC Moves Forward With National Do-Not-Call List

netringer writes "The U.S. Federal Trade Commission is proposing some new regulations creating a national 'Do Not Call' list to keep US phones from being rung by telemarketers. Telemarketers who call a number on the list could be fined up $11,000. The new FTC rules also require that telemarketers have Caller ID enabled and limit abandoned 'hang up' calls from predictive dialers. The new rules have some loopholes, allowing calls from charities and businesses that have somehow gotten your permission or have done business with you before. The Direct Marketing Association is threatening to sue to save U.S. consumers from the potential loss of buying opportunities."

21 of 483 comments (clear)

  1. In Soviet Russia... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    Telemarketers hang up on you!

  2. Finally! by freeze128 · · Score: 4, Funny

    Finally a list where you can post "ME TOO!!!" and it actually MATTERS!

  3. Re:Now by NanoGator · · Score: 4, Funny

    "For a do not SPAM list. What a concept, out-in should be the defacto thing, never opt-out, it presupposed willingness to be harrassed. "

    I'd love that. I'd report my address as *@*.*

    --
    "Derp de derp."
  4. Are these guys evil or what? by InterruptDescriptorT · · Score: 4, Funny

    The Direct Marketing Association is threatening to sue to save U.S. consumers from the potential loss of buying opportunities

    Good grief! Can you the ultimate evil company's board of directors?

    CEO, EvilCo: Satan himself
    VP of Intellectual Property, West Coast: Jack Valenti
    VP of Intellectual Property, East Coast: Hilary Rosen
    VP of Sales and Marketing: The Direct Marketing Association
    CFO: David Skilling

    VP of Getting Royally Screwed Every Time Shit Goes Down: The customer.

    --
    Karma: Excellent Birds (mostly as a result of listening to Laurie Anderson)
  5. Misreading by adamwright · · Score: 4, Funny

    I originally read that as "The Direct Marketing Association is threatening to sue U.S. consumers for the potential loss of buying opportunities." and was remarkably unshocked :)

  6. Oh well... by Zapateria · · Score: 2, Funny

    ...I guess I'll have to put up with tormenting the Jehovah's Witnesses instead.

  7. Is it just me or... by Toraz+Chryx · · Score: 5, Funny

    Is
    "The Direct Marketing Association is threatening to sue to save U.S. consumers from the potential loss of buying opportunities." the funniest sentence ever?

    "But we wanted to offer them a once in a lifetime chance!!!!!"

  8. joke? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny
    The Direct Marketing Association is threatening to sue to save U.S. consumers from the potential loss of buying opportunities.


    What ... a ... joke. I do hereby state that I DO WISH to lose all buying opportunities presented to me by postal service mail or by telemarketing ... yet the DMA, in their infinite wisdom, is here to protect me from my foolish decision. What a bunch of great guys ... way to go.
  9. DON'T LOSE OUT! 847sjsj by Bonker · · Score: 5, Funny

    DON'T LOSE OUT!

    The FTC is about to take away your ability to recieve great offers and buying opportunities through email.

    Stop them before they stop you!

    For a small donation of only $10, you can help fund the fight against unwanted government regulation in direct marketing.

    Remember that only you can make a difference.

    You have received this mail because you indicated that you wanted to receive promotional offers of this kind. If you no longer wish to receive mail like this, please click this link:

    http://www.spamhaus.com/addressverifier.pl?adress= cmdrtaco@slashdot.org

    --
    The next Slashdot story will be ready soon, but subscribers can beat the rush and slashdot the links early!
  10. Thanks by The+Kow · · Score: 5, Funny

    The Direct Marketing Association is threatening to sue to save U.S. consumers from the potential loss of buying opportunities.

    Next: Stalker sues State for issuing restraining order, denying his ex-wife the opportunity to be harassed mercilessly.

    --
    Moo
  11. Naah... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny

    You mean that the "remove me" link in spams isn't sufficient?

  12. Translation... by pla · · Score: 4, Funny

    The "charity" loophole will end up VERY abused...

    "Hi, Fred here, from Fred's Aluminum Siding Non-Profit Shell Corporation and Charity. I'd like to talk to you about how 0.0001% of every purchase you make through us goes directly to feed starving, aluminum-siding-less children in South Africa..."

    Why not? It works for companies that want to buy their own personal politician... Does anyone really suspect ANY sane politician (I didn't say "ethical", just "sane") would dare take a stand against a scheme that could turn around and attack their major source of campaign financing?

  13. Re:You WANT snail mail spam. by misterhaan · · Score: 3, Funny
    and besides, junk mail saved my life . . .

    anybody watch _kids in the hall_?

    --

    track7.org has all kinds of interesting stuff!

  14. Re:Sueing on what basis by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    Well I for one would take the calls over the bathroom ones. The ones we have in my Uni's washrooms are of little old women who have been helped by United Way... It's creepy as all hell having a grandma watch you pee

  15. Re:Constitutional rights by yog · · Score: 3, Funny

    Heh.

    Still, it's fun to tell the telemarketer that this is precisely what you were doing, and listen to them squirm.

    TM (cheerfully): Hi, Mr. Yog, I'm Fred Loser from AT&T. How are you today?

    You (panting slightly): Dammit, I was just having sex with my wife!

    TM: Oh, I'm sorry, sir. Is there a better time when I could call you back?

    You: Well, you've already interrupted me. It's going to take a while to get worked up again.

    TM (sounding uncomfortable): We'll call you back tomorrow; will you be home around this time?

    You: I only answered because my great-uncle is in surgery right now; we're waiting to see if he survived the operation.

    TM (running out of scripted responses): I'll call back another time.

    You: No, I want to hear your entire sales pitch. (start panting heavily; in the background a woman starts moaning.)

    TM: Uh...

    etc.

    --
    it's = "it is"; its = possessive. E.g., it's flapping its wings.
  16. my phone by Johnny5000 · · Score: 2, Funny

    My phone is there for my convenience, not for the telemarketers.

    --
    The libertarian solution to the failures of capitalism is to apply more capitalism til the failures are fixed.
  17. We may actually be able to help them by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    With so many here who are currently out of work or freelancing and barely making ends meet, why not see if you can provide them with IT services? I'm sure that they wouldn't want to miss out on the opportunity to receive such top notch services at very reasonable costs, so give them a call, email or fax. It doesn't hurt to ask ya know. Headquarters 1120 Avenue of the Americas New York, NY 10036-6700 Telephone: 212.768.7277 Fax: 212.302.6714 Washington D. C. Office 1111 19th Street, N.W. Washington, D.C. 20036-3603 Telephone: 202.955.5030 Fax: 202.955.0085 Contact List by Subject Accounts Payable webmaster@the-dma.org 212.768.7277, ext. 1353 Advertising - Print webmaster@the-dma.org 212.768.7277, ext. 1423 Advertising - Web Site kebeling@the-dma.org 212.768.7277, ext. 1554 Awards - ECHO echo@the-dma.org 212.768.7277, ext. 1397 Benefits Program twalsh@the-dma.org 212.768.7277, ext. 1423 DMA Store - Books & More lrc@the-dma.org 212.768.7277, ext. 1930 Chapters chapters@the-dma.org 212.768.7277 Conference Registration customerservice@the-dma.org 212.768.7277, ext. 1500 Conference Programming conference@the-dma.org 212.768.7277, ext. 1513 Conference Exhibitors conference@the-dma.org 212.768.7277, ext. 2469 Conference Speakers conference@the-dma.org 212.768.7277, ext. 1528 Consumer Assistance consumer@the-dma.org 212.790.1488 Councils councils@the-dma.org 212.768.7277 Council Membership councils@the-dma.org 212.768.7277 Council Events councils@the-dma.org 212.768.7277 DMA Interactive webmaster@the-dma.org 212.768.7277, ext.1629 directvoice mmicali@the-dma.org 212.768.7277, ext. 2422 Direct Marketing Educational Foundation dmef@the-dma.org 212.768.7277, ext. 1817 The DMA Government Affairs Online Member Outreach Program Governme@the-dma.org 212.768.7277, ext. 2405 Government Affairs Governme@the-dma.org 212.768.7277, ext. 2405 Human Resources hr@the-dma.org 212.768.7277, ext. 1338 International Services Internat@the-dma.org 212.768.7277, ext. 1786 Library lrc@the-dma.org 212.768.7277, ext. 1930 Membership - Joining DMA membership@the-dma.org 212.768.7277, ext. 1155 Membership - Renewal membership@the-dma.org 212.768.7277, ext. 1155 Seminar Information customerservice@the-dma.org 212.768.7277, ext. 1500 Seminar Registration customerservice@the-dma.org 212.768.7277, ext. 1500 President's Office Presiden@the-dma.org 212.768.7277, ext. 1604 Press Contact Privacy privacy@the-dma.org 212.768.7277, ext. 2408 Research lrc@the-dma.org 212.768.7277, ext. 1637 Sweepstakes Sweep@the-dma.org 212.768.7277, ext. 2475 Web Site (Passwords) webmaster@the-dma.org 212.768.7277, ext. 1629

  18. Here's the legit way. by Alethes · · Score: 3, Funny
  19. I always say -- by Jace+of+Fuse! · · Score: 5, Funny

    I always say "I do not do business with people who call my house." This even goes for charities. I do not donate to organizations that call me.

    At first I thought this wouldn't work, but I've actually had a reduction in calls (that is, no repeats) and I almost always get apologies.

    Here as of late I've just been having fun with the telemarketers, since they're not as frequent as they used to be.

    RING
    RING

    ME: Hello?
    HER: Yes, I'm with (she said the name of some glasswork and door company) and we're calling to see if you would be interested in new windows for your home. Have you considered having new windows installed?
    ME: I don't have windows. I live in a dog house.
    HER: *giggle* Very funny, sir.
    ME: I don't think it's very funny at all.
    HER: ...
    ME: You think being homeless is funny?
    HER: *CLICK*

    --

    "Everything you know is wrong. (And stupid.)"

    Moderation Totals: Wrong=2, Stupid=3, Total=5.
    1. Re:I always say -- by Sycraft-fu · · Score: 3, Funny

      I've told Qwest (the phone company) that I don't have a phone before.

      See, normally I ask to be placed on their do not call list. All companies have to maintain one and are required to obey it. Works pretty well. However, any company you have a bussiness relationship is exempt from that (since they may have legitimate reasons to call you) so hence asking Qwest would do no good.

      Well Qwest had a big push for their DSL service and was calling everyone trying to get them to sign up. Fine, except I already HAVE DSL from them. Not only that, I have the expensive professional grade stuff and I've had it for like 3 YEARS now. It's not like they were trying to sell me an upgrade to it or anything (I pretty much have the best I can get), they were trying to sell me the service itself.

      I had told them a couple of times before that I already had this and to please stop calling me about it as it was really pointless. So at any rate, I got sick of it and decided to have fun and told one guy that I didn't have a hpone line. He stared with teh typical "ok well thank you" speech for when teh customer has said no and then kinda trailed off when he processed what I had actually said.

      They stopped calling about it :)

  20. My approach by int69h · · Score: 2, Funny

    T: Hello, is Mr. Foo in?

    M: You're speaking w/ him

    T: I'd like to tell you about our XYZ product...

    M: This XYZ product sounds very interesting.
    I'm a little busy at the moment though. Could I get your home number so I can call you back later to talk about it?

    T: We can't give that information out sir.

    M: Is it because you don't like being called at home by complete strangers?

    T: *silence*

    M: (click)