Slashdot Mirror
Mood-Sensing Computer
handy_vandal writes "'A team at Vanderbilt University is ... developing a robotic assistant whose goal is .. [to] respond to the moods of its human master.' For use on the battlefield -- e.g. when a soldier is overcome with anxiety."
iMac's that change color based on your mood? That's clever marketing.
Job? I don't have time to get a job! Who will sit around and bitch about being broke and unemployed then?
Haven't you noticed when you strike the keys harder and/or faster the computer does what you want? C'mon guys, EVERYONE knows that!! Come to think of it, this tatic is effective on co-workers too.
you'd need a Beowulf cluster of mood-sensing computers.
hi, i'm Hal, and i'm really sorry your windows box got hacked. want a beer?
A computer that understands what it means when I hold a shotgun to it.
My postings are informational and does not constitute legal advice. Act on it at your risk.
"It looks like you're trying to take cover under enemy fire. Do you need some help taking cover?"
"Einstein argued that [...] God is not capricious or arbitrary. No such faith comforts the software engineer." ~ Brooks
If it can cater to that need ... then it is DEFINANTELLY slashdot worthy and should be expanded to a market far wider than the military.
Ignore the "p2p is theft" trolls, they're just uninformed
It'd be sad when one day your computer will be telling you, "I'm not in the mood, I have a headache."
My postings are informational and does not constitute legal advice. Act on it at your risk.
So when you're drunk it can stop you from driving.
And if you're really drunk it can keep you from calling exgirlfriends.
You can't judge a book by the way it wears its hair.
Computer: "Sir, I have noticed you are feeling a little horny today, and have downloaded some pr0n for you..."
User: "Gah!...How many times do I have to tell you???! I only looked at the dwarf stuff once out of curiosity."
Computer:"Sir I notice you are becoming slightly irritated.... perhaps a wank will calm you down? Observe the dwarf pr0n.... Observe the dwa.. #clik#
Corporation, n. An ingenious device for obtaining individual profit without individual responsibility. - Ambrose Bierce
Sex - Find It
Sounds like a great way to reduce the soldiers' stress levels.
Commander: Listen up, men! You will notice in your equipment a new MOOD SENSING ROBOT. In the event that you are under DEADLY ENEMY FIRE it will sense that you have anxiety, that you are SCARED TO DEATH and broadcast this to the whole batallion. If you break one, we will take it out of your paycheck. Now move!
All I really want is a babelfish in my ear.
I don't want a mood-sensing doohickey to get jealous!
No, Beowulf clusters can't imagine in Soviet Russia.
Soldier: Aggghh!! They're trying to kill us!
A1: Everything is fine, Dave.
Soldier: Aghhhhhh!
A1: Is there a problem with, they're trying to kill us, Dave?
Soldier: help!
A1: Everything is fine with regards to help, Dave.
Soldier: We must get out of here!
A1: Interesting. Tell me more about we must get out of here, Dave.
soldier: AAAAGGH! My ARM HAS BEEN BLOWN OFF!!!
robot: Your ARM HAS BEEN BLOWN OFF?
soldier: YES!!!
robot: What kind of arm is it??
soldier: OH MY GOD THE PAIN IS UNBEARABLE!
robot: Yippee! Your GOD THE PAIN IS UNBEARABLE?
soldier: WHAT??!!! MY ARM!! MY ARM!!!
robot: Where did you get your ARM?
soldier: IT'S BEEN BLOWN OFF YOU STUPID PIECE OF SH*T!
robot: Is it still BLOWN OFF me STUPID PIECE OF SH*T anymore?
soldier faints from loss of blood
soldier: uhhnnn...
robot: Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans?
in girum imus nocte et consumimur igni
will probably use this mood sensor to detect if the user is pissed so that it simply refuses to show BSODs when that occur...or they'll make it so that when you're happy it shows yellow screens of death that say, "Have a nice day!"
Clippy: It looks like you are bleeding to death. Would you like some help?
13 year old white supremacists are shitty web designers.
This is an absolutely horrible invention...Just think, before women only "thought" men were near emotionless pigs...Now they will have diffinitive proof...
The one benfit is that, the machine that processes the information could probably be something like a Commador 64, since we tend to have so few emotional states...
Shameless self promotion : The Misadvetures of the in
I notice that you are feeling stressed Dave.
... but only if it can tell me when my wife wants to have sex!
main(){char I,l,O[]={'-',1-1,0,(1<<5)-1,0+'-',-10-1,-10,11-0,
The new generation VCD player should have a mood sensor connected to the fast-forward button.
a sensible one will say
"You got fear !" and then go quiet.
There is however a new 9.0 version will be programmed to systematically bring down your fear.
" Hey Shmuck ! Is that all you got eh ? I can smell the poopie in yo pants. Come on, dont be a sissy ! When I was your age.."
Siggy Say, Siggy Do
Finally, a portable that automatically switches to prostitute mode whenever necessary.
"Wouldn't you really rather go to the basement, RIGHT NOW, than up to the 15th floor? Thank you for making a humble elevator so very, very happy...."
Bill Stewart
New Fast-Compression-only CPR http://preview.tinyurl.com/dy575ks
Windows has detected that your mood has changed, press OK to reboot.
It'll be really good when I start to get pissed off at the computer and it then decides to work fine withouth any further questions because it saw me waving a 15Kg iron mallet
Why on earth would the military need a robotic assistant on the battlefield? Especially one who responds to the moods of the 'master'?
"I am sorry sir, I can't allow you to arm that grenade due to the anger you hold from your recent divorce..."
I think they should reveal the real reason for the research instead of using the military in order to gain funding from some grant or federal cash flow.
--wal