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Elect Steve Jobs President of the United States

Will Foster writes "There is a groundswell of support for electing Steve Jobs President of the United States." I'll vote for him if I can write in my vote -- with a Newton stylus!

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  1. well. . . by Rojo^ · · Score: 5, Funny

    Elect Steve Jobs President of the United States

    well, the mac community is probably larger than the perot community. ;)

    --
    <:
    1. Re:well. . . by bluethundr · · Score: 5, Interesting

      well, the mac community is probably larger than the perot community. ;)

      If Jobs got to be the president of the USA, that would not be the first time that Perot got burned by Jobs. Perot was one of the largest investors in a little venture which was at one time known as NeXT.

      --
      Quod scripsi, scripsi.
  2. Sounds like a great idea... by DasBub · · Score: 5, Funny

    He'll run the country without having any idea of how it actually works, fire anyone who doesn't follow his vision, steal ideas from other countries...

    By God, he might be the best president yet!

  3. And in related news by AuMatar · · Score: 5, Funny

    Microsoft offers their market leading CEO Steve Balmer. When asked about the news, Balmer replied by leaping around screaming "Voters! Voters! Voters!".

    Rumors that Bill Gates will be a Cheyney style puppetmas^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H vice-president have not been confirmed.

    --
    I still have more fans than freaks. WTF is wrong with you people?
  4. First Presidential Order by Reality+Master+101 · · Score: 5, Funny

    "I hereby declare that The White House will no longer be boring "beige", it shall be painted "Lickable Blueberry".

    The Apple hoardes debate among themselves whether the country is now just "insanely" better, or "miraculously" better.

    --
    Sometimes it's best to just let stupid people be stupid.
  5. http://www.jobsforpresident.org/ by SlightlyMadman · · Score: 5, Funny

    Not to be confused with http://www.jobsforTHEpresident.org/, as I'd really like to see him get a new one.

    <rimshot />

    --

    Money I owe, money-iy-ay
  6. Why bother? by SuperMario666 · · Score: 5, Funny

    It's not like anyone will be able to beat Sharpton anyway.

  7. Slogans: by yunfat · · Score: 5, Funny

    An Apple a day keeps the IRS away.

    Jobs for everyone.

    iAmerica.

    Lets all take acid.

    --
    "Smokey, this isn't Nam, there are rules." -Walter
  8. Re:Wrong Steve by Forgotten · · Score: 5, Insightful

    Only if you quaintly assume that being president has something to do with having a bountiful clue, or being a kind reasonable person.

    Woz would make a great technical or education advisor, but probably a lousy president.

  9. This is illegal... by asparagus · · Score: 5, Funny

    Due to the seperation of church and state.

    Steve cannot be both God and President without violating some part of the constitution.

    Of course, given recent events, that 'problem' can probably be remiedied.

  10. Two years into the presidency by stefanlasiewski · · Score: 5, Funny

    Two years after becoming President, Steve Jobs becomes fed up with the bueracracy and leaves suddenly to start up his own country in his Palo Alto Garage.

    --
    "Can of worms? The can is open... the worms are everywhere."
  11. Hrm... by zod1025 · · Score: 5, Insightful

    You know, he might not be a bad president...

    a) he's someone who made something of himself, and wasn't just from a wealthy, powerful family

    b) he's someone that has Vision and can seek it out (even if we might not agree with his Vision, he's definitely got it!)

    c) he's arguably of above-average intelligence... try and say THAT of any of the other candidates!

    If Nader wasn't running, I'd vote for Jobs just because I know that if Jobs won, he would make a decent go of it and maybe even get something real done.

    --

    -ZOD-
  12. CowboyNeal for president. by I+am+Jack's+username · · Score: 5, Interesting
    "It comes from a very ancient democracy, you see..."
    "You mean, it comes from a world of lizards?"
    "No", said Ford, who by this time was a little more rational and coherent than he had been, having finally had the coffee forced down him, "nothing so simple. Nothing anything like so straightforward. On its world, the people are people. The leaders are lizards. The people hate the lizards and the lizards rule the people."
    "Odd", said Arthur, "I thought you said it was a democracy."
    "I did", said Ford. "It is."
    "So", said Arthur, hoping he wasn't sounding ridiculously obtuse, "why don't the people get rid of the lizards?"
    "It honestly doesn't occur to them", said Ford. "They've all got the vote, so they all pretty much assume that the government they've voted in more or less approximates to the government they want."
    "You mean they actually vote for the lizards?"
    "Oh yes", said Ford with a shrug, "of course".
    "But", said Arthur, going for the big one again, "why?"
    "Because if they didn't vote for a lizard," said Ford, "the wrong lizard might get in. Got any gin?"
    "What?"
    "I said", said Ford, with an increasing air of urgency creeping into his voice, "have you got any gin?"
    "I'll look. Tell me about the lizards."
    Ford shrugged again.
    "Some people say that the lizards are the best thing that ever happened to them." he said. "They're completely wrong of course, completely and utterly wrong, but someone's got to say it." - Douglas Adams, So long, and thanks for all the fish, chapter 36, 1984

    Kent: Senator Dole, why should people vote for you instead of President Clinton?
    Kang: It makes no difference which one of us you vote for. Either way, your planet is doomed. DOOMED!
    Kent: Well, a refreshingly frank response there from senator Bob Dole.
    ...
    Kodos: It's true, we are aliens. But what are you going to do about it? It's a two-party system; you have to vote for one of us. [murmurs]
    Man1: He's right, this is a two-party system.
    Man2: Well, I believe I'll vote for a third-party candidate.
    Kang: Go ahead, throw your vote away. [Kang and Kodos laugh out loud] - The Simpsons, 4F02

    "It's better to vote for what you want and not get it than to vote for what you don't want and get it." - Eugene Debs

  13. Here's What He'll Say In The Interview by saudadelinux · · Score: 5, Funny

    Barbara Walters: So, Mr. Jobs, why do you want to be President?

    Steve Jobs: I don't want to sell sugared computers for the rest of my life. I want to change the world!

    --
    I didn't think the house band in Hell would play this badly.
  14. Reagan Without a Cause by goombah99 · · Score: 5, Insightful

    Heck this has been going on longer than post-irony set in. I remember my amusement when I first heard ronald reagan was a presidential candidate. Well he'll never win I thought, what a joke. After he won I was in disbelief, and realized I was not the only one when I saw a bathroom grafitii "reagan...without a cause", an obvious riff on the james dean movie title.

    Later after watching "back to the future" there is a scene where marty tries to prove he's fromt he future. The professor asks "okay future boy, whos president." MArty answeres "ronald reagan" thus assuring the professor he's a lunatic: "Oh and who's the treasury secratary 'jack benny?'.

    Later in the same movie, the professor is amazed by the video camera "a portable movie production studio....Great scott! no wonder your politicians have to be actors!". A banal observation unless you think of in the context of it dawning on a person from the 1950's.

    So will we all be thinkng "great scott, no wonder all your presidents have to be CEO's of consumer products" when a visitor from the future comes back and tells us about president Jobs?

    --
    Some drink at the fountain of knowledge. Others just gargle.
  15. Steve wouldn't want the job unless... by WIAKywbfatw · · Score: 5, Interesting

    Steve wouldn't want the job unless he could be president number 0.

    For those of you that don't know, when Apple got round to issuing employee numbers, Steve Jobs was pretty peeved that he couldn't be employee number 1 as Steve Wozniak had already nabbed that priviledge for himself. Unable to convince Wozniak to change, Jobs took employee number 0 rather than be stuck behind Wozniak with the employee number 2 tag.

    --

    "Accept that some days you are the pigeon, and some days you are the statue." - David Brent, Wernham Hogg
  16. Re:Wrong Steve by Earlybird · · Score: 5, Funny

    Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job. (Douglas Adams)

  17. Re:Wrong Steve by Un+pobre+guey · · Score: 5, Interesting
    Score:5, Insightful

    You guys must be kidding! Insightful? The guy thinks Dubya is up there doing "leadership"?

    No doubt we're going to invade Iraq to free their people and bring them democracy, right? And clamping the international price of petroleum forever has nothing to do with it, right? And funneling several hundred billion dollars through the defense industry while ignoring the growing crowds of unemployed has nothing to do with it, right? And giving the top 5% income bracket lots of new tax breaks and only giving the rest of us a few hundred bucks has nothing to do with it, right? And imposing the Christian version of the Taliban on us has nothing to do with it, right? And suspending our rights to privacy and due process so we don't get in their way has nothing to do with it, right? And, and...

    Dude, pass me the fucking pipe!