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Elect Steve Jobs President of the United States

Will Foster writes "There is a groundswell of support for electing Steve Jobs President of the United States." I'll vote for him if I can write in my vote -- with a Newton stylus!

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  1. Wrong Steve by Servo · · Score: 4, Insightful

    I wouldn't vote for Steve Jobs for president, but I would definately vote for the "Woz". Something tells me that Jobs would actually make a better figurehead president than Woz though.

    --
    A slip of the foot you may soon recover, but a slip of the tongue you may never get over. -Benjamin Franklin
    1. Re:Wrong Steve by Forgotten · · Score: 5, Insightful

      Only if you quaintly assume that being president has something to do with having a bountiful clue, or being a kind reasonable person.

      Woz would make a great technical or education advisor, but probably a lousy president.

    2. Re:Wrong Steve by dublisk · · Score: 4, Insightful

      Remind me again - what's the difference between a figurehead and a president?

    3. Re:Wrong Steve by nomadic · · Score: 4, Informative

      A large one. Anyone who thinks the President doens't have real power hasn't been reading the news lately. Or ever.

    4. Re:Wrong Steve by Earlybird · · Score: 5, Funny

      Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job. (Douglas Adams)

    5. Re:Wrong Steve by Un+pobre+guey · · Score: 5, Interesting
      Score:5, Insightful

      You guys must be kidding! Insightful? The guy thinks Dubya is up there doing "leadership"?

      No doubt we're going to invade Iraq to free their people and bring them democracy, right? And clamping the international price of petroleum forever has nothing to do with it, right? And funneling several hundred billion dollars through the defense industry while ignoring the growing crowds of unemployed has nothing to do with it, right? And giving the top 5% income bracket lots of new tax breaks and only giving the rest of us a few hundred bucks has nothing to do with it, right? And imposing the Christian version of the Taliban on us has nothing to do with it, right? And suspending our rights to privacy and due process so we don't get in their way has nothing to do with it, right? And, and...

      Dude, pass me the fucking pipe!

  2. well. . . by Rojo^ · · Score: 5, Funny

    Elect Steve Jobs President of the United States

    well, the mac community is probably larger than the perot community. ;)

    --
    <:
    1. Re:well. . . by bluethundr · · Score: 5, Interesting

      well, the mac community is probably larger than the perot community. ;)

      If Jobs got to be the president of the USA, that would not be the first time that Perot got burned by Jobs. Perot was one of the largest investors in a little venture which was at one time known as NeXT.

      --
      Quod scripsi, scripsi.
  3. Sounds like a great idea... by DasBub · · Score: 5, Funny

    He'll run the country without having any idea of how it actually works, fire anyone who doesn't follow his vision, steal ideas from other countries...

    By God, he might be the best president yet!

  4. And in related news by AuMatar · · Score: 5, Funny

    Microsoft offers their market leading CEO Steve Balmer. When asked about the news, Balmer replied by leaping around screaming "Voters! Voters! Voters!".

    Rumors that Bill Gates will be a Cheyney style puppetmas^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H vice-president have not been confirmed.

    --
    I still have more fans than freaks. WTF is wrong with you people?
  5. First Presidential Order by Reality+Master+101 · · Score: 5, Funny

    "I hereby declare that The White House will no longer be boring "beige", it shall be painted "Lickable Blueberry".

    The Apple hoardes debate among themselves whether the country is now just "insanely" better, or "miraculously" better.

    --
    Sometimes it's best to just let stupid people be stupid.
  6. http://www.jobsforpresident.org/ by SlightlyMadman · · Score: 5, Funny

    Not to be confused with http://www.jobsforTHEpresident.org/, as I'd really like to see him get a new one.

    <rimshot />

    --

    Money I owe, money-iy-ay
  7. The state of the nation... by MrLint · · Score: 4, Funny

    With Steve as president we might be some insanely great leadership, as opposed to the normal insane leadership we have now.

  8. iHouse by Big+Mark · · Score: 4, Funny

    If he gets in, won't his first act be to demolish all the important buildings and replace them with curvy, translucent, pastel-coloured plastic contraptions?

    Carrying handles would be useful though. Threat of Al-Qaeda? Just move Washington to the praries, they'll never find them there!

    -Mark

  9. Why bother? by SuperMario666 · · Score: 5, Funny

    It's not like anyone will be able to beat Sharpton anyway.

  10. Slogans: by yunfat · · Score: 5, Funny

    An Apple a day keeps the IRS away.

    Jobs for everyone.

    iAmerica.

    Lets all take acid.

    --
    "Smokey, this isn't Nam, there are rules." -Walter
  11. It'd build interest in the military! by Chester+K · · Score: 4, Funny

    After all, who could resist attacking another country to show off our nice Blueberry bombers, using our new Raspberry radar technology, and firing off our arsenal of iNuke X 10.2 ICBMs (with leopard print warheads). Military tech has been stuck in the same putrid earthy shades of green and brown for far too long!

    Just gotta wonder how well those translucent plastic helmets will protect the heads of our soldiers....

    --

    NO CARRIER
  12. This is illegal... by asparagus · · Score: 5, Funny

    Due to the seperation of church and state.

    Steve cannot be both God and President without violating some part of the constitution.

    Of course, given recent events, that 'problem' can probably be remiedied.

  13. Two years into the presidency by stefanlasiewski · · Score: 5, Funny

    Two years after becoming President, Steve Jobs becomes fed up with the bueracracy and leaves suddenly to start up his own country in his Palo Alto Garage.

    --
    "Can of worms? The can is open... the worms are everywhere."
  14. Oh that's just what we need... by NanoGator · · Score: 4, Funny

    ..a government official who'll break down the tough choices so that the American public will vote on which color they like better.

    *hoping that comment's poke at the iMac isn't too obscure.*

    --
    "Derp de derp."
  15. slashdotted already by SlightlyMadman · · Score: 4, Informative

    It's mostly images, no wonder it went so fast. Here's the text on the front page:

    Draft Committee to the 'Elect Steve Jobs President of the United States
    We all want a world that is prosperous and sustainable. We have the technology and resources to create such a world. What is lacking are leaders with vision and will. I encourage you to be such a leader and welcome your participation in our campaign.

    It is time that we base our decision-making on the time tested native American idea that all decisions should be made with our seventh generation of descendants in mind and in consultation with our elders. It is time to acknowledge that the earth is our mother and that we must take care of her. It is time to eliminate all weapons of mass destruction from the earth. It is time to insure that all people have access to affordable health care and education.

    It is time for American leaders to work with the Moslem world, China, India, Africa, Russia, Latin America, the European Union and all people's around the world to create the world we want. It is our destiny to play a leadership role in creating a new world.

    We believe Steve Jobs is the man to help us achieve these goals. If you agree, join us, and together we can get it done!

    A Biography of Steve Jobs
    Editorials: 01/19/03 at 17:59:27 PST by aztc

    Editorials Steve Paul Jobs
    Born 1955 Los Altos CA; Evangelic bad boy who, with Steve Wozniak, co-founded Apple Computer Corporation and became a multimillionaire before the age of ...

    Printerfriendly version - A Biography of Steve Jobs Send an e-mail to (26 reads) [ More ] [ 0 comments ]

    Newsletters are archived under News
    News: 01/18/03 at 18:24:03 PST by Admin

    News Newsletters can only be sent by the top level admin. Please submit your plain text newsletter to webmaster@jobsforpresident.org

    --

    Money I owe, money-iy-ay
  16. Foreign policy by BitwizeGHC · · Score: 4, Funny

    Jobs probably is probably miles ahead of the other candidates when it comes to foreign policy, particularly the Iraq issue. The Jobs solution? Simple: Oust Saddam, set up a puppet government, rename the country "iRaq", and insist that cartographers color it "lickable raspberry" on all their maps. Not to mention replacing militant Islam with a hip, edgy new "switch" campaign.

    The iRaqis would find themselves embraced by the developed world!

    --
    N4st0r, trixx0r h0bb1tz0rz! Th3y st0l3 0ur pr3c10uzz!
  17. Hrm... by zod1025 · · Score: 5, Insightful

    You know, he might not be a bad president...

    a) he's someone who made something of himself, and wasn't just from a wealthy, powerful family

    b) he's someone that has Vision and can seek it out (even if we might not agree with his Vision, he's definitely got it!)

    c) he's arguably of above-average intelligence... try and say THAT of any of the other candidates!

    If Nader wasn't running, I'd vote for Jobs just because I know that if Jobs won, he would make a decent go of it and maybe even get something real done.

    --

    -ZOD-
  18. Please DELETE This Topic by wahay · · Score: 4, Funny

    We've gotta shush this now before it's too late. If Bill Gates hears about it he'll spend billions to run just so he can keep up.

  19. Re:I don't know by AT · · Score: 4, Insightful

    Apple is a monopolist? What do they have a monopoly on? Translucent plastic cases? Selling a system with a closed architecture is different than being a monopolist. A monopoly exists when you control all of (or almost all of) a particular market, not just a product.

  20. CowboyNeal for president. by I+am+Jack's+username · · Score: 5, Interesting
    "It comes from a very ancient democracy, you see..."
    "You mean, it comes from a world of lizards?"
    "No", said Ford, who by this time was a little more rational and coherent than he had been, having finally had the coffee forced down him, "nothing so simple. Nothing anything like so straightforward. On its world, the people are people. The leaders are lizards. The people hate the lizards and the lizards rule the people."
    "Odd", said Arthur, "I thought you said it was a democracy."
    "I did", said Ford. "It is."
    "So", said Arthur, hoping he wasn't sounding ridiculously obtuse, "why don't the people get rid of the lizards?"
    "It honestly doesn't occur to them", said Ford. "They've all got the vote, so they all pretty much assume that the government they've voted in more or less approximates to the government they want."
    "You mean they actually vote for the lizards?"
    "Oh yes", said Ford with a shrug, "of course".
    "But", said Arthur, going for the big one again, "why?"
    "Because if they didn't vote for a lizard," said Ford, "the wrong lizard might get in. Got any gin?"
    "What?"
    "I said", said Ford, with an increasing air of urgency creeping into his voice, "have you got any gin?"
    "I'll look. Tell me about the lizards."
    Ford shrugged again.
    "Some people say that the lizards are the best thing that ever happened to them." he said. "They're completely wrong of course, completely and utterly wrong, but someone's got to say it." - Douglas Adams, So long, and thanks for all the fish, chapter 36, 1984

    Kent: Senator Dole, why should people vote for you instead of President Clinton?
    Kang: It makes no difference which one of us you vote for. Either way, your planet is doomed. DOOMED!
    Kent: Well, a refreshingly frank response there from senator Bob Dole.
    ...
    Kodos: It's true, we are aliens. But what are you going to do about it? It's a two-party system; you have to vote for one of us. [murmurs]
    Man1: He's right, this is a two-party system.
    Man2: Well, I believe I'll vote for a third-party candidate.
    Kang: Go ahead, throw your vote away. [Kang and Kodos laugh out loud] - The Simpsons, 4F02

    "It's better to vote for what you want and not get it than to vote for what you don't want and get it." - Eugene Debs

  21. The problem in living in the post-ironic era... by benwaggoner · · Score: 4, Interesting

    ...is that it's getting harder and harder to tell what's a put-on. More and more things I thought were parody at first turn out to be real.

    Anyway, say what you will about Jobs, but he certainly got a LOT more done in his 20's and 30's than our current President, and by all accounts wasn't that much more of a jerk.

    And Jobs's rescue of Apple certainly shows that he has an extraordinary ability to balance short and long term needs. Given what they've had to work with, technically, from Motorola for the last few years, can you believe that Apple is not only extant, but profitable?

    Anyway, I'd probably vote for him over a fair number of other politicians. While we know a lot of his youthful indiscretions, I think that's just because he's been famous for so long. I imagine our previous two presidents were just as wild in their youth. The real question is how good a job who he is now could do, and I'd say the evidence is promising, or at least intriguing.

    For all the "Jobs is a visionary" rhetoric, running a company on a knifes-edge like Apple has been for the last half decade implies a good ability to roll with the punches, and be flexible when appropriate.

  22. Re:Plutocracy has one advantage by Archfeld · · Score: 4, Funny

    Did this help Perot or kill him ? :) If Bill Gates ran that would ensure that Larry Ellison did as well, if for no other reason than to keep up with BG...

    --
    errr....umm...*whooosh* *whoosh* Is this thing on ?
  23. Sure, why not... by Jaysyn · · Score: 4, Funny

    ... the US is already run by big companies as it is, lets just go ahead & finish the job....

    Jaysyn

    --
    There is a war going on for your mind.
  24. Re:I don't know by aafiske · · Score: 4, Interesting

    Apple has a monopoly on Apple computers. Just like those bastards at Ford who have a monopoly on Ford brand cars.

    Weren't you around when monopoly was downgraded from 'Near complete control of a market' to 'Makes a product that isn't free'?

  25. Re:I don't know by Andy_R · · Score: 4, Informative

    Do we really have to keep going over this? I seem to write this post about one a month, but I guess it's not redundant until everyone gets it...

    Monopolies are NOT illegal.

    Abusing the power that a monopoly position gives you IS illegal.

    Microsoft illegally abused their monopoly, Apple didn't.

    Got it now?

    --
    A pizza of radius z and thickness a has a volume of pi z z a
  26. Oh, blueberry is so four years ago! by protein+folder · · Score: 4, Funny

    The White House will remain white, but all the plaster will be replaced with translucent white plastic.

    The capitol dome will be redone in anodized aluminum. It will also have firewire.

    --
    Your mind is squeezed by a blast of pain!
  27. Re:I don't know by DarkVein · · Score: 4, Insightful

    The PowerPC platform is very open. Apple, however, doesn't let people use their "Apple" trademark to sell "Apple-compatible" computers. It's a harsh marketing tactic, and well within the intent of Trademark law. It's difficult to sell PowerPC computers when you can't claim that they're Apple-compatible.

    The platform, however, is beautifully open. IBM makes a PowerPC proccessor call the Power4, and (today) has revealed a reference model PDA based on the PowerPC architecture.

    Apple is extremely strict with their trademark rights, but they rarely overstep the intent, let alone the letter, of the law.

    Jobs has my vote just for his insight that DRM will fail, and his strong resolution to never integrate it into MacOS.

    --

    I'm as mimsy as the next borogove but your mome raths are completely outgrabe.

  28. Re:Elect Linus Torvalds as president! by Grenade+of+Antioch · · Score: 4, Funny

    We could elect Richard Stallman provided that we decided to rename the country GNUnited States of America.

  29. Re:Isn't he a deadbeat dad? by green+pizza · · Score: 4, Informative

    Supposedly he began supporting Lisa and her mother after he left Apple (and started NeXT and Pixar). I also belive he's currently paying for her Stanford tuition. There was a blurb about this in an article awhile back, I think it was either Forbes or WSJ.

  30. Here's What He'll Say In The Interview by saudadelinux · · Score: 5, Funny

    Barbara Walters: So, Mr. Jobs, why do you want to be President?

    Steve Jobs: I don't want to sell sugared computers for the rest of my life. I want to change the world!

    --
    I didn't think the house band in Hell would play this badly.
  31. Reagan Without a Cause by goombah99 · · Score: 5, Insightful

    Heck this has been going on longer than post-irony set in. I remember my amusement when I first heard ronald reagan was a presidential candidate. Well he'll never win I thought, what a joke. After he won I was in disbelief, and realized I was not the only one when I saw a bathroom grafitii "reagan...without a cause", an obvious riff on the james dean movie title.

    Later after watching "back to the future" there is a scene where marty tries to prove he's fromt he future. The professor asks "okay future boy, whos president." MArty answeres "ronald reagan" thus assuring the professor he's a lunatic: "Oh and who's the treasury secratary 'jack benny?'.

    Later in the same movie, the professor is amazed by the video camera "a portable movie production studio....Great scott! no wonder your politicians have to be actors!". A banal observation unless you think of in the context of it dawning on a person from the 1950's.

    So will we all be thinkng "great scott, no wonder all your presidents have to be CEO's of consumer products" when a visitor from the future comes back and tells us about president Jobs?

    --
    Some drink at the fountain of knowledge. Others just gargle.
  32. Re:Bugger that by houseofmore · · Score: 4, Funny

    "Linus can't run. You've got to be born in the U.S. to be eligible for the office of President"

    Oh please. Bush was raised by monkeys... I can't see them rejecting a Finn.

  33. Steve wouldn't want the job unless... by WIAKywbfatw · · Score: 5, Interesting

    Steve wouldn't want the job unless he could be president number 0.

    For those of you that don't know, when Apple got round to issuing employee numbers, Steve Jobs was pretty peeved that he couldn't be employee number 1 as Steve Wozniak had already nabbed that priviledge for himself. Unable to convince Wozniak to change, Jobs took employee number 0 rather than be stuck behind Wozniak with the employee number 2 tag.

    --

    "Accept that some days you are the pigeon, and some days you are the statue." - David Brent, Wernham Hogg
  34. If Steve Jobs becomes president... by DarkHelmet · · Score: 4, Funny

    ... does that automatically make Ellen Feiss the drug czar?

    --
    /^[A-Z0-9._%+-]+@[A-Z0-9.-]+\.[A-Z]{2,4}$/i
  35. Jobs over Nader by benwaggoner · · Score: 4, Insightful

    Speaking as a respectibly left wing Democrat, I'd vote for Jobs over Nader in a heartbeat. Nader has simply shown zero ability for that kind of a job. When he says there is no difference between Democrats and Republicans, he's either lying, or an idiot. Who is president MATTERS, no matter what he says.

    Leadership requires the right mix of idealism and pragmatism, and Nader badly fails that test. If he actually WON the presidency, he'd be disasterous at it. And since even he knows that he isn't going to win, running mainly makes him just the Perot-of-the-left, working as a spoiler to get Bush reelected.

  36. Jobs TV Spot by mdechene · · Score: 4, Funny

    So, I was having these negotiations with North Korea over their Nukes, and then all of a sudden, they were like boom boom boom boom boom and then South Korea was gone. North Korea, ate South Korea.

    It was kinda.....a bummer.

    --

    Karma: Not Particularly Funny.
  37. no no no you heard it wrong. by r00tarded · · Score: 4, Funny

    The economy is in the shitter and techies have spoken, what they said was "We want more *jobs*!"