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Carmack Needs Rocket Fuel

Reality Master 101 writes "Saw an interesting post on the Experimental Rocket Propulsion Society BBS from John Carmack, who is working on an X-prize vehicle. Apparently he is having a lot of trouble getting Peroxide from the major suppliers, and is possibly thinking of helping someone set up a company to produce peroxide. With NASA's recent problems, there has been a lot of talk about promoting more private investment in rocketry. But how can it happen when the suppliers won't even sell peroxide to well financed, registered, X-prize teams? Anyone want to start a peroxide business?"

26 of 592 comments (clear)

  1. hair salons by Mordac · · Score: 4, Funny

    I'm guessing getting all the hair salons to chip in a gallon or two won't help here will it. Worth a shot I guess.

    1. Re:hair salons by stendec · · Score: 5, Funny
      One day, a story was posted on Slashdot stating that Carmack needs rocket fuel. A rallying cry was quickly taken up.

      PEROXIDE FOR CARMACK! shouted the geeks, sometimes at their monitor, sometimes at their cat, sometimes at their lunch.

      It was only the second time since the Karma-for-Guns campaign that Slashdot gained the attention of the public.

      PEROXIDE FOR CARMACK! shouted the public, sometimes at their spouse, sometimes at the television, sometimes to the telemarketer.

      And soon did legislators of the United States take up the cry, carrying the battle to the floor of the Congress itself.

      PEROXIDE FOR CARMACK! shouted the legislators, sometimes at each other, sometimes at the TV cameras, sometimes at their aides.

      And soon did the President of the United States take up the cry, carrying the fight to the United Nations General Assembly.

      PEROXIDE FOR CARMACK! the president would shout, sometimes at France, sometimes at Germany, sometimes at the teleprompter.

      And soon did the world take up the cry, rousing its collective might and pooling together a vast supply of peroxide which was soon delivered to the house of John Carmack. The only man who might have objected was Hans Blix, but the last anyone saw him, he was staring into the mirror, nodding his head slowly and sighing.

      And so, one day, Carmack was driving John Romero back from the hair salon. His old friend was raving about this new catalyzing-gel they use. Romero then opened the door, and that's the last anyone saw him. They say the explosion was like "two hundred thousand quad-damaged rocket jumps."

  2. It's perfectly understandable by eyegone · · Score: 5, Funny
    He's obviously part of a terrorist plot to turn us all blond!

    --
    "They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety."
  3. John Pick me Pick me! by t0qer · · Score: 2, Funny

    I can do the job! Just watch!

    Me: Scientist bob, we need 40 barrels of the stuff by June so Carmack can launch!
    Scientist bob: Uhh sir our plants total capacity is only 1 barrell a month!
    Me: You fscking Idiot I didn't ask you what our capacity was! I gave you an order!

    See you can tell, i'm leaps and bounds better than any other slashdotter here! Pick me Pick me John! Look i'll even put caps on your name!

  4. They think he's a freaking terrorist by TerryAtWork · · Score: 2, Funny

    This is what happens when you sign the chit 'Abdul Al Carmack'...

    --
    It's Christmas everyday with BitTorrent.
  5. Carmack is fragbait. by Tackhead · · Score: 5, Funny
    The problem is the current NASA/government-contractor setup would just respond with "Why the fuck should we build a low-cost launch vehicle when we're getting $6B/year for Shuttle/ISS indefinitely?"

    Or to be even more cynical, it violates something I consider to be one of Life's Universal Rules, which is this: You should never threaten to cost someone more money than it would cost them to have you killed.

    For instance, suppose there's a market need for 20 commercial/military/ISS flights per year, and the government's willing to pay $500M per launch. That's $500M x 20 = $10B a year in pork to use the shuttle and our current unmanned vehicle capabilities. Against that, nobody is gonna build cheap launch capability, because it'll soon be a better business strategy to simply eliminate anyone who comes close.

    For instance, suppose Armadillo Aerospace develops tech that enables them to launch a satellite for $1M. With reduced costs, there might be a market for 100 launches a year versus 20. NASA space scientists are elated, because they can finally send an army of cheap probes to every planet, comet, and moon that tickles their fancy. And geeks (myself included!) will rejoice because we can finally read about all the cool science while we're vacationing at the Space Hilton.

    The big problem with this lovely picture is that as soon as Armadillo announces its $1M-to-orbit vehicle, $BIG_CONTRACTOR realizes that even if they buy Armadillo outright, the $10B/year gravy train (20 comm/spy satellites at $500M each) is gonna come up $9.9B short (20 comm/spysats, plus 80 space probes and Space Hilton modules, at $1M per launch). Someone will realize that you can hire a lot of assassins and saboteurs for $9.9B.

    Congressmen, upon realizing that Armadillo's success will soon mean $9.9B less pork to distribute to their districts, will conclude that a major campaign contributor has discovered an "intriguing" solution to both their respective problems.

    Both groups will publicly lament the "accident" at Armadillo that resulted in the flash-combustion of all personnel, and bemoan their sysadmins for the fact that all the offsite backup tapes containing design and technical data were unreadable, and use the "accident" to remind the voting and taxpaying public that space still isn't quite ready for private sector involvement.

    I wish Carmack and anyone else trying to provide cheap access to space the best of luck, but I fear for anyone who comes close to achieving the dream.

    1. Re:Carmack is fragbait. by Black+Copter+Control · · Score: 2, Funny
      Someone will realize that you can hire a lot of assassins and saboteurs for $9.9B.

      $9.5B .. You still want to make a profit, bub.

      --
      OS Software is like love: The best way to make it grow is to give it away.
  6. Best response to a Slashdotting by multimed · · Score: 4, Funny
    (not counting handling the excessive load w/o getting Slashdotted of course)

    Too many users... blah blah blah
    Probable cause: http://www.slashdot.org

    Try again in a few seconds...

    -xian@idsoftware.com

    Good Guess.
    --
    Vote Quimby.
  7. The plan by The+Bungi · · Score: 2, Funny
    1. Build peroxide factory ('cuz Slashdot said so)
    2. Sell it to Carmack
    3. Watch in horror as he gets bored of the whole thing and returns to writing games
    4. ???
    5. Flood the Internet with evil pop-unders advertising HERBAL PEROXIDE FOR BLONDES
    6. Profit!!!
  8. Re:What kind? by brer_rabbit · · Score: 4, Funny
    Sorry for the ignorance. What kind of peroxide is necessary for something like this?

    Considering it's a bunch of pimple-faced geeks, benzoyl peroxide.

  9. Re:Peroxide by jda487 · · Score: 5, Funny

    Holy shit. I didn't see all these other posts with way better answers. My bad, sorry.

  10. Blonde? by Ribo99 · · Score: 2, Funny

    Isn't John already a blonde?

    --
    I wear pants.
  11. perhaps he should change his technique? by Darth_brooks · · Score: 5, Funny

    "Hi My name is John Carmack and I'd.....yes the same guy that worked on doom and quake.......yeah I'd like to order several thousand gallons of....yes those games are violent, lots of blowing stuff up.....anyhow I'd like to order several thousand gallons of highly explosive and caustic peroxide in order to...Hello? Hello? damn."

    --
    There are some people that if they don't know, you can't tell 'em.
  12. Dumbing down by Herby+Werby · · Score: 2, Funny

    We know why he really wants all this peroxide: he's tired of his rep as a programming genius and has decided to spend the rest of his life as a dumb blonde.

  13. Is John Carmack building a bomb? by I+Am+The+Owl · · Score: 3, Funny
    Seriously... isn't the thought of some programmer geek and a few friends funding their own space program just a little beyond believable? I would have to seriously question the veracity of their claims - has anyone noticed that they do not have any kind of video evidence of actually launching anything?

    I wouldn't put it past Carmack to construct a huge bomb. Everyone knows about his disturbing obsession with the occult (why else would he have made the Doom series like it is?) and his propensity for watching violence, so it's not at all outside the realm of possibility. There are many studies available that prove beyond a doubt that casual use of ultra-violent video games provokes violent behavior in children and adults alike.

    Just imagine, if you will, what a person who is exposed to these influences for 12 hours or more per day, and becoming intimately familiar with them, is going to become. Exploring space? Ha! Not likely. But, with large amounts of peroxide that he is trying to procure, he could build a pretty damn deadly explosive device. And who better to do it than the guy who invented exit wounds and exploding body parts in PC gaming? I think the Department of Homeland Security should keep a very close eye on Mr. Carmack - Timothy McVeigh was able to do more with less, and he wasn't nearly as well funded.

    --

    --sdem
  14. Re:oops by Black+Copter+Control · · Score: 2, Funny

    I think that there was a MASSIVE spurt of postings... One moment, I was getting 4 posts.. then next I had over 100. Problems with the slash engine, or just a bunch of over-eager slashdot readers? You tell me.

    --
    OS Software is like love: The best way to make it grow is to give it away.
  15. Maybe not such a good idea? by cbuskirk · · Score: 4, Funny

    Are we really sure that we want the guy who has spent is whole life working on games about blowning sh%t up to be building a giant rocket?

  16. It's a lie! by B3ryllium · · Score: 2, Funny

    Carmack really just wants to abuse John Romero's hair.

    "Suck it down, Bitch."

    Man, I would PAY to see Carmack knock Romero down and dye his hair blonde. :)

  17. I got some peroxide by stratjakt · · Score: 2, Funny

    Tell him I'll trade for an advance copy of Doom 3 and a Radeon 9700 Pro.

    It's kind of ironic the author of Quake is going to try and rocket-jump to outer space.

    --
    I don't need no instructions to know how to rock!!!!
  18. Try Iraq. by simetra · · Score: 3, Funny

    I hear they help people find good chemicals. Heh.

    --

    "Would it kill you to put down the toilet seat?" -- Maya Angelou
  19. We'll be nice to them if they be nice to us.. by XJoshX · · Score: 3, Funny

    ...Whether or not my brother in law is the CEO of FMC may depend on whether or not you can give me an FTP site with the latest build of Doom3... ;)

  20. Ha! by corebreech · · Score: 2, Funny

    I bet he feels silly over having left all those peroxide drums laying around when writing DOOM.

  21. What I want to know is.... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny

    ...producing 98% concentration peroxide and selling it reasonably to several small outfits, as well as NASA and the USAF. I wound up buying a dozen or so drums from X-L, and everything was going well.....

    You didn't happen to conveniently place those drums next to the people guarding your facility, did you? :)

    -Greg

  22. Re:I know where he can get it by AndroidCat · · Score: 2, Funny

    So I guess it wouldn't do your hair much good. Or is that what Hollyweird means by a "blond bombshell"? :^P

    --
    One line blog. I hear that they're called Twitters now.
  23. Re:I know where he can get it by fucksl4shd0t · · Score: 3, Funny

    Peroxide only bubbles on contact with a wound, but doesn't hurt.

    It tickles! Sometimes I want to wound myself just so I can put peroxide on it, I love it!

    Other times, I'm more sane.

    --
    Like what I said? You might like my music
  24. Re:Not exactly general interest news, but... by cardshark2001 · · Score: 2, Funny
    Me: frantically looks for the "+1, Carmack" moderation option.

    Need any more programmers John? I'll work twice as long as anybody you've got for half the pay! I'll teach you how to play Quake 3. I'll even wash your car three times a week and wax it with a chamois. I'll personally distill your peroxide for you at no charge.

    I'll be damned if I'm gonna test fly that rocket for you though, I mean, a man's got to draw the line somewhere.

    --
    WWJD? JWRTFA!