First Cosmological Results From MAP

riptalon writes "The Wilkinson Microwave Anisotropy Probe, a NASA Explorer mission has announced the first results based on a year of observations from the L2 Lagrangian point. MAP carries two back-to-back microwave telescopes to study variations in the cosmic microwave background, to much greater accuracy than the COBE satellite. The excruciating details of the results on the age, geometry and composition of the universe can be found in this paper. Executive summary: 13.7 billion years old, flat, 4.4% baryons, 22% dark matter and 73% dark energy."

Comments

Cosmic Microwaves

[Archangel Michael]

Will it heat my cosmic coffee?

Re:Cosmic Microwaves

[$$$$$exyGal]

Woo. That little pun just got me all hot. *takes off sweater, revealing 2 cosmic constants*

--sex

Hey...I need answers here dammit!

[GeneralEmergency]

Does Dark Energy suck or blow?

Flat?

[captain_craptacular]

Tell that to Columbus.

Why do they call it "Dark Energy"?

[lingqi]

Really, now. That just makes the universe sounds sinister. I can just imagine Vader argue with Yoda in Ep.III (cutting out the huffing) "Ahh you see master yoda, the universe is mostly the dark side." Can't they go for a policitally correct / socially sensitive / thoughtful of the children phrase like "cannot-see energy" or "we have no fscking clue where it is energy"?

otoh, iirc the original background radiation measurements were done using a U2 (not the band, though it would be interesting) flying at some 70k ft, something about only a U2 can fly that steady (without resorting to satelites, anyway).

Re:Why do they call it "Dark Energy"?

[theCat]

[darkhumor style=kurtvonnegut]
It turns out some researchers called it God at first but that doesn't look as well in print outside of sacred texts. You know, "God is everywhere, but unevenly distributed and is repulsive, not that anyone would notice or at least they have not. Only we did notice so we're L337 and we're forming our own religion. We hereby declare all other religions apostate and anathema on the strength of our observations."

We pagans know all about Dark Energy. Heck, we're obsessed with it. Only I'm a little surprised that it's not more than 75% of the known universe. I bet a lot of the Cold dark Matter will turn out to be wanna-be Dark Energy too, just tettering on the edge of going over for the last few billion years.

The idea that only 4% of the Universe is "normal" really lines up with the notion many witches and Zen masters subscribe to, where 96% of Everything is utter nonsense. But you can still have loads of fun with the other 4% if you lay your hands on a good spell book. Just don't forget to close your sacred circle, and properly call the gates, and sanctify your athame first. Bless us but you don't want to upset the balance of entropy and cause any of that loitering Cold Dark Matter to get any fancy ideas.
[/darkhumor]

In this universe...

[MrByte420]

You only get 73% of you daily dose of dark matter. That would leave eating bowl after bowl after bowl. Try my new "Extra Dark Total Universe" and get 100% of your Dark Matter in just one bowl!

Isn't this

[Timesprout]

4.4% baryons, 22% dark matter and 73% dark energy.

The recipe for coke ?

Sounds Familiar

[The_Rippa]

13.7 billion years old, flat, 4.4% baryons, 22% dark matter and 73% dark energy

Except for the age part, that sounds a lot like my ex-girlfriend.

Happy Valentines Day everybody!

Re:courtesy of Wikipedia

[Anonymous Coward]

Hmmm...if nature abhors a vaccuum, does this mean that nature is completely gaga over dark energy?

Everyone else seems to be lately...

Re: What's the remaining 0.6%

[Black Parrot]

> Subject says it all.

Apparently the universe is 0.6% rounding error.

Yeah, and their satellite is better too...

[TWX_the_Linux_Zealot]

"MAP ... to study variations in the cosmic microwave background, to much greater accuracy than the COBE satellite"

And their web page is better too. My satellite can beat up your satellite!

This "science" is FILTH

[Anonymous Coward]

This "finding" is bogus. The only authority on the universe is the Word of God as spoken in, and only in, the Holy Bible. The only thing NASA should be sending into space should be Bibles. A true Christian would never believe the filth that comes from NASA. NASA is actually the North American Satanists Association and is one of the biggest spewers of Luciferic filth on the Lord's planet.

The Lord struck the shuttle down and burned it's occupants and they are still burning... in HELL. If you're not a true Christian then you too will be burned... both here on the Lord's planet and in Hell where you will burn for eternity.

Re:This "science" is FILTH

[theCat]

In Other News:

God, having recently been photographed in the microwave part of the spectrum, has held a press conference. Her spokesangel says "The Almighty resents this intrusion on Her privacy and just wishes some respite from the snapping of paparazzi hounding Her all day and night, never a moment's peace. She will now retire to a private part of the universe for some escape from the tabloids, thank you. But really, She is most upset about those faked pictures of Her wearing a beard. Have you no decency at all?"

God was last seen as a filmy blotch, one millionth of a degree warmer than the next blotch, in the general vicinity of the constellation Sagittarius. She was wearing a floral kimono and sandals from Gucci.

Re:correction

[Old Wolf]

4.4% baryons, 95% we don't know, 0.6% people with no mathematical training

Re:correction

[Greedo]

13.7 billion years old, flat, 4.4% baryons ...

... and may contain traces of peanuts.

Re:Except for one thing...

[RatBastard]

No, pig shit is energy!

Re:courtesy of Wikipedia

[WatertonMan]

What is funny is that "dark energy" is also termed "quintessence" or the fifth element. Quintessence was an other term for aether which, as you might recall, was the nebulous stuff in the cosmos prior to modern physics. Funny how things we thought we disproved pop back unexpectedly.

Of course aether was primarily brought up by Maxwell to explain certain phenomena. It was disproved by the "fact" that the speed of light was a constant in all inertial frames.

What's interesting is that there is a movement to suggest that perhaps, just perhaps, the speed of light wasn't a constant after all. While I rather doubt that, New Scientist has an interesting interview with the main proponent of that theory, Joao Magueijo. Interview with Joao Magueijo

He has a book partially about this coming out this month called Faster than the Speed of Light

I rather doubt Einstein is wrong on this matter, although some of Magueijo's criticisms of superstring theory are often made. Still quite a few people are discussing the issue. Landau, for instance, has a recent paper on the topic. "Charge Conservation and Time-Varying Speed of Light.

To tie all this together, here's an interesting paper that ties some of this all together, including "dark energy." "Perfect Fluid Cosmology with Varying Light Speed."

Just don't get your hopes up yet, children

[Pac]

Those 4% of normality are on the other side of the Universe, to the left and a bit bellow the oldest quasars. We are deep into the utter nonsense zone. But if you are smart you would have guessed that by now.

Re:courtesy of Wikipedia

[Zak3056]

What is funny is that "dark energy" is also termed "quintessence" or the fifth element

So, basically, it's Milla Jovovich?