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Advice You Would Give to Your 12 Year-Old Self?
urbazewski asks: "If you could send a message back to your nerdy
unpopular 12 year old self, what would you say? I've been asking this one for several years, and the replies sound suspiciously like the lame advice I got from adults at that age ('just be yourself, dear'). The most creative answer was from an American-born Buddhist monk, who didn't think his 12 year old self would
listen to a message along the lines of 'Hey, what you're doing is kind of making things suck for me right now' --- he would send
a message to himself by adding extra lyrics to a song he really liked when he was in junior high school. I got the best replies from a large class at
UC Santa Cruz. The modal answer was 'Buy Microsoft.' About 7% of the class said 'Enjoy yourself in high school because college is really hard.' Another 7% said "Study harder in high school because college is really hard.' (The
best variant on that theme: 'Try to figure out what "studying" is'). In the hindsight-is-20/20 dept. there was a girl who said 'Do not date the
following people...' and then listed six names and a guy who said 'You know how you're thinking about trying to drive your dad's car? Don't!.' My personal favorite: 'You're a dork now, but don't worry, you'll be cool when
you're in college.'"
register slashdot.org
"You know what, just forget it, you won't listen to anything i say anyway..."
Yeah, that's right, kill yourself, you heard me.
I want to find out if a fundamental paradox really causes the universe to end! I mean, suicide is not my bag, but if I had the chance to take all of you with me...
It Is the Nature of Information to Transgress Artificial Boundaries
Train your left hand for next year.
"Self, in 4 years you're going to meet a really nice girl at a party. This time guy some fucking condoms!"
Trolling is a art,
You're dumb, but that shouldn't be too surprising since you're 12. When you get the chance to enter a running start program as a sophomore, do it. With high school comes stupid heartache, and an early exit will save you lots of heartache.
But, in order to accomplish that, you must ignore your evil best friend, Adam. He will bring you Warcraft II, which will consume an inordinate amount of your time and eventually lead you to Diablo and Starcraft. Which is like heroin to you.
In summary: Get away from high school and addictive Blizzard products.
Never, ever, ever click a goatse.cx link. That image will forever be burned on my retina...shudder....
... you insensitive clod!
Dear Self: You know all those things that you're hiding from your parents (report cards, alcohol, drugs, women) so they won't find out? Well, they already know. Have a good day!
"This food is problematic."
In all honesty, that's what I'd say. Rather shallow, I know.
Given that, at 12, I was entering that period of life where I would do pretty much exactly the opposite of what anyone advised:
1. Don't take algebra, there's no practical use for that stuff.
2. Do all the cocaine you can get your hands on. The eighties will be much more fun that way...
3. Rush out and get laid by the first girl who will do it.
That's a pretty good start...
Trouble making decisions? Just flip for it.
In the future, you are going to write to your nerdy, unpopular self.
In the meantime, think of something witty, cuz this sucks!
Later!
"This food is problematic."
...because in about 10 years, you're going to be incredibly disappointed.
..."Stop masturbating so much. My eyesight is terrible 10 years from now.."
why run from Vincenzo?
FYI: Inflammable means flammable...
How about: "Hey self, stop smoking so much dope. Your memory will be shot by the time you're 18"
Beauty is in the eye of the beerholder.
I would tell myself to not register slashdot.org as doing so would mean there is no slashdot to ask this question and thus I couldn't have made the initial change thus causing a paradox.
Oh... and stay away from the airport ( especially the guy with the blonde wig and sunglasses )
2. Sleep with everything that moves, knowing that as you make more money, the women get prettier. If you dont like the girls who like you, make more money!
3. STUDY! STUDY! STUDY! STUDY! STUDY! STUDY! STUDY! STUDY! STUDY! STUDY! STUDY! STUDY! STUDY! STUDY! STUDY! STUDY! STUDY! STUDY! STUDY! STUDY! STUDY!
4. Under no circumstances ever consider marriage unless you reach 30 and make less than 150K a year. If you are younger and/or make more, your options for trim are too good to settle for just one chick regardless of what you look like.
5. Dont buy a Mac.
6. Just because you will love Java, doesn't mean you can ever do anything productive with it. Stick with C++ and dont be afraid of garbage collection and pointers.
7. Everyone you think is cool, will be washing your car, turning down your hotel bed, and bringing you meals in 20 years, if you refuse to be like them now.
8. Those big tits you love so much right now, will be hanging around her navel in 25 years. Learn to like the flat girls.
9. Once you make decent money, you will forget all that crap about the environment, compassion and helping others, so why waste your time now?
10. Everyone does it, anyone who says they dont is lying.
goatse.cx .. Please young version of me, register that domain and save me from having an image imprinted on my mind forever.
I was so uncool when I was twelve, if I could go back in time I'd probably beat myself up...
Statistically speaking, there's a 99.998% chance that my IQ is higher than yours. Get over it.
To which 12yr old me would say:
What the hell does register mean, and what is slashdot.org?
33yroldme: It is a website
12yroldme: What the hell is a website?
33yroldme: You know the internet.
12yroldme: What the hell is the internet?
33yroldme: A bunch of computers hooked up together to share information.
12yroldme: What the hell is a computer?
33yroldme: You know, a personal computer.
12yroldme: No, I have no idea what you are talking about.
33yroldme: It is a screen, like a TV, and you can do all kinds of things on it, like playing games.
12yroldme: Oh, in your house, like an Atari?
33yroldme: Yeah, sort of, but they are all over the world too.
12yroldme: Oh, you mean in the arcade like a Pac-Man machine? And that new game, Pole Position? That game is cool. It is so realistic! Or Joust, that game is fun because two people can play at once. I have only played it a couple of times because it is brand new. There is always a line for it.
33yroldme: Dude, nevermind. Have fun.
My beliefs do not require that you agree with them.
It's called a tension sheet. Get a patent on it.
>Period.
I tried that and I'm still broke.
So I went back and told my 13-year-old self it was OK to put the Cisco proceeds into something called "Enron", but that he had to sell the Enron in 2001.
And I'm still broke.
Now I gotta go back in time again and tell my 14-year-old self not use the Enron proceeds to buy airline stocks.
I tell ya, ever since Goldman Sachs left the brokerage business and went into temporal mechanics, my life's been a living hell!
12yroldme: What the hell is the internet?
30yearoldme: It's kind of like a giant BBS, with unlimited porn.
12yearoldme: Mind if I take notes?
What else can I say?