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Advice You Would Give to Your 12 Year-Old Self?
urbazewski asks: "If you could send a message back to your nerdy
unpopular 12 year old self, what would you say? I've been asking this one for several years, and the replies sound suspiciously like the lame advice I got from adults at that age ('just be yourself, dear'). The most creative answer was from an American-born Buddhist monk, who didn't think his 12 year old self would
listen to a message along the lines of 'Hey, what you're doing is kind of making things suck for me right now' --- he would send
a message to himself by adding extra lyrics to a song he really liked when he was in junior high school. I got the best replies from a large class at
UC Santa Cruz. The modal answer was 'Buy Microsoft.' About 7% of the class said 'Enjoy yourself in high school because college is really hard.' Another 7% said "Study harder in high school because college is really hard.' (The
best variant on that theme: 'Try to figure out what "studying" is'). In the hindsight-is-20/20 dept. there was a girl who said 'Do not date the
following people...' and then listed six names and a guy who said 'You know how you're thinking about trying to drive your dad's car? Don't!.' My personal favorite: 'You're a dork now, but don't worry, you'll be cool when
you're in college.'"
register slashdot.org
"You know what, just forget it, you won't listen to anything i say anyway..."
Yeah, that's right, kill yourself, you heard me.
I want to find out if a fundamental paradox really causes the universe to end! I mean, suicide is not my bag, but if I had the chance to take all of you with me...
It Is the Nature of Information to Transgress Artificial Boundaries
Train your left hand for next year.
"Self, in 4 years you're going to meet a really nice girl at a party. This time guy some fucking condoms!"
Trolling is a art,
Start saving. Now. Put 15-20% of every penny your earn in the bank (or IRA, or other investments). You'll be debt free and have enough to retire on by the time you're 45.
Sadly, I don't have a time machine, so I'm on the "work until I'm 65" route.
-S
--- What parts of "shall make no law", "shall not be infringed", and "shall not be violated" don't you understand?
You're dumb, but that shouldn't be too surprising since you're 12. When you get the chance to enter a running start program as a sophomore, do it. With high school comes stupid heartache, and an early exit will save you lots of heartache.
But, in order to accomplish that, you must ignore your evil best friend, Adam. He will bring you Warcraft II, which will consume an inordinate amount of your time and eventually lead you to Diablo and Starcraft. Which is like heroin to you.
In summary: Get away from high school and addictive Blizzard products.
Never, ever, ever click a goatse.cx link. That image will forever be burned on my retina...shudder....
... you insensitive clod!
Dear Self: You know all those things that you're hiding from your parents (report cards, alcohol, drugs, women) so they won't find out? Well, they already know. Have a good day!
"This food is problematic."
In all honesty, that's what I'd say. Rather shallow, I know.
You shouldn't worry about what you could have done differently in the past. If you could send yourself a message and actually change something, there would be a whole new branch of problem and mistakes that you would most likely want to change again, and again... and again.
If you don't like something about yourself, don't fret over it. Change it starting now.
Given that, at 12, I was entering that period of life where I would do pretty much exactly the opposite of what anyone advised:
1. Don't take algebra, there's no practical use for that stuff.
2. Do all the cocaine you can get your hands on. The eighties will be much more fun that way...
3. Rush out and get laid by the first girl who will do it.
That's a pretty good start...
Trouble making decisions? Just flip for it.
In the future, you are going to write to your nerdy, unpopular self.
In the meantime, think of something witty, cuz this sucks!
Later!
"This food is problematic."
...because in about 10 years, you're going to be incredibly disappointed.
..."Stop masturbating so much. My eyesight is terrible 10 years from now.."
why run from Vincenzo?
FYI: Inflammable means flammable...
How about: "Hey self, stop smoking so much dope. Your memory will be shot by the time you're 18"
Beauty is in the eye of the beerholder.
I would tell myself to not register slashdot.org as doing so would mean there is no slashdot to ask this question and thus I couldn't have made the initial change thus causing a paradox.
Oh... and stay away from the airport ( especially the guy with the blonde wig and sunglasses )
2. Sleep with everything that moves, knowing that as you make more money, the women get prettier. If you dont like the girls who like you, make more money!
3. STUDY! STUDY! STUDY! STUDY! STUDY! STUDY! STUDY! STUDY! STUDY! STUDY! STUDY! STUDY! STUDY! STUDY! STUDY! STUDY! STUDY! STUDY! STUDY! STUDY! STUDY!
4. Under no circumstances ever consider marriage unless you reach 30 and make less than 150K a year. If you are younger and/or make more, your options for trim are too good to settle for just one chick regardless of what you look like.
5. Dont buy a Mac.
6. Just because you will love Java, doesn't mean you can ever do anything productive with it. Stick with C++ and dont be afraid of garbage collection and pointers.
7. Everyone you think is cool, will be washing your car, turning down your hotel bed, and bringing you meals in 20 years, if you refuse to be like them now.
8. Those big tits you love so much right now, will be hanging around her navel in 25 years. Learn to like the flat girls.
9. Once you make decent money, you will forget all that crap about the environment, compassion and helping others, so why waste your time now?
10. Everyone does it, anyone who says they dont is lying.
goatse.cx .. Please young version of me, register that domain and save me from having an image imprinted on my mind forever.
I was so uncool when I was twelve, if I could go back in time I'd probably beat myself up...
Statistically speaking, there's a 99.998% chance that my IQ is higher than yours. Get over it.
To which 12yr old me would say:
What the hell does register mean, and what is slashdot.org?
33yroldme: It is a website
12yroldme: What the hell is a website?
33yroldme: You know the internet.
12yroldme: What the hell is the internet?
33yroldme: A bunch of computers hooked up together to share information.
12yroldme: What the hell is a computer?
33yroldme: You know, a personal computer.
12yroldme: No, I have no idea what you are talking about.
33yroldme: It is a screen, like a TV, and you can do all kinds of things on it, like playing games.
12yroldme: Oh, in your house, like an Atari?
33yroldme: Yeah, sort of, but they are all over the world too.
12yroldme: Oh, you mean in the arcade like a Pac-Man machine? And that new game, Pole Position? That game is cool. It is so realistic! Or Joust, that game is fun because two people can play at once. I have only played it a couple of times because it is brand new. There is always a line for it.
33yroldme: Dude, nevermind. Have fun.
My beliefs do not require that you agree with them.
It's called a tension sheet. Get a patent on it.
Well, they're going to college too, on sports "scholarships". Get used to the idea now and when you get there you can skip the disappointment phase and enjoy your freshman year a lot more.
If you do that you'll discover that college professors ( at least the good ones) aren't authority figures. They're actually *teachers,* and are quite willing to be your friend as well. Even when things get rocky. Find the good ones and cultivate them.
You aren't really socially inept. You've matured early. This puts you about 20 to 30 years ahead of the curve. When you hit 40 or so people will suddenly think you're "cool" not because of any change in you, but because they've finally caught up. So don't sweat not fitting in with people who are, essentially, still savages.
KFG
and: "Next Thursdays winning lotto numbers are:..."
I read a study recently (I tried googling for it and couldn't find it) that basically tracked lottery winners over a five year period following their wins. It said that when they first recieved their money their overall happiness jumped a great deal, as described here. It then tracked their happiness for the remaining five years.
The interesting part is that almost uniformally every single winner's happiness receded back to what it was before they won. It seems that everyone has a "base happiness" that cannot be altered by material things in the long term. I believe that everyone needs enough money for sustenance and comfort, and after that it's all vanity.
>Period.
I tried that and I'm still broke.
So I went back and told my 13-year-old self it was OK to put the Cisco proceeds into something called "Enron", but that he had to sell the Enron in 2001.
And I'm still broke.
Now I gotta go back in time again and tell my 14-year-old self not use the Enron proceeds to buy airline stocks.
I tell ya, ever since Goldman Sachs left the brokerage business and went into temporal mechanics, my life's been a living hell!
Learn to love who you are.
If you are comfortable with yourself then you can be comfortable with other people.
Treat yourself and others with respect.
If you are comfortable with other people they will realize that you have it together and they will treat you with respect. People pick up easily on how others expect them to act... if you expect people to treat you with respect, chances are they will.
Those that lose your respect, ignore. Not in the sense that you pretend they don't exist, just don't waste energy dealing with them. You have much better things to do with your time than be mad at other people. It usually doesn't accomplish anything except to raise your blood pressure and give you ulcers and heart attacks.
Angry people are too focused on what is wrong and miss out on many things that are good. Don't be angry. If you need to work out some agression then get some exercise and think happy thoughts.
If you make someones day better there is a good chance that they will make somebody elses day better and the world will get better bit by bit. If you go around making other people's days worse then eventually the whole world will be filled with angry people.
One person can make a difference.
42 - So long and thanks for all the fish.
I know its easy to go the "+1 Funny" route here and tell everyone to get ready to jerk off a lot and buy stock in [some company that will explode with profits], but after thinking about this for awhile, I've deduced my advice to a sentence:
Don't take shit.
My life from 12-17 generally consisted of me putting up with bullying, putting up with being put down, putting up with people who had no business trying to tell me what to do, and even when they had that right, they did it all the wrong way. A little standing up for yourself goes a long way.
What would I tell myself? When that bully picks on you, punch him in the face as hard as you can. Go Ender on him--don't stop until they pull you off of him. I guarantee that he'll never try it again, yet this amazing fact eluded me, and I just assumed that no matter what I did, and that included fighting back, that I would be stuck in my little hole of miserableness forever.
Don't let your boss walk all over you. When I entered the "corporate world," also known as the Full Time Job, my little "Computer Operator" job got me nothing but headaches and more miserableness. Just when I thought I had escaped the clutches of bullies and put downs, here comes Office Politics to screw it all up again. Suddenly my boss would take credit for all my work and leave me hung out to dry when I made a mistake, holding myself up to the whole place as an example of How To Screw Up Rightly. The more I think about it, the more it hurts in the futility of it all.
Did I ever finally grow some gumption and let it fly? Sure. But it was far too late. The damage had been done, and this fantastic article rang so true my ears are still ringing. I told off my old boss, let the higher ups know what was going on, and moved on to greener pastures. I settled down, found a wonderful wife and now have a gorgeous 8 month old daughter who I value more than my own life. And I'll be sure to let her know, when she turns 12, that life isn't about the microcosm of high school, or the inmates, er, students in it.
My greatest hope would be that my 12 year old self would be, at the very least, left alone. And that's more than most depressed, repressed teenagers get.
12yroldme: What the hell is the internet?
30yearoldme: It's kind of like a giant BBS, with unlimited porn.
12yearoldme: Mind if I take notes?
Dear 12 year-old self,
Your life is about to be forever changed. You don't know it now, but in three years, you're going to be in millions of households world-wide.
Everywhere you go, people are going to scream at you that they hate you. Listen to this advice, 12 year-old self, because I know that nobody else is going to give it to you: whatever you do,don't listen to them, and let them define your sense of self-worth. It's going to hurt, a lot. You won't understand it, and you'll try really hard to convince them otherwise, but they will not listen . . . because they're just as insecure and confused as you are right now. You're going to want to quit the show, but if you do, you'll be 30 before you stop regretting it. Trust me on this one.
Stay on that show until it's over, and when you're older, you'll realize that for every person who screamed "I hate you," there is another who was quietly inspired by something you did. It all balances out, kid.
You are never going to be cool, no matter how hard you try, so save yourself the agony of trying to fit in. You end up marrying a real hottie who loves your inner geek.
And register wilwheaton.com before someone else picks it up.
OH! And when you're 22, and you're in a bar in New York, just say, "No, thank you." You'll understand why when the time comes.
What else can I say?
Also buy Compaq and Cisco. No, none of these companies exist yet, but watch for them. And plastics, don't forget plastics; Dow, DuPont, 3M, and Monsanto exist now. Starve if you have to. Re-invest the interest. [Hey, everybody gives this advice because it's good advice.]
*sigh* Ask Dad.
We have great parents, by the way. Listen to what they say. Be nice to them. Don't stop hugging them, ever, or you'll forget how.
You oblivious dork, Dad has a stack of Playboys, somewhere. Find them. One or two off the bottom, now and then, won't be noticed, or at least admitted to. Don't dink around with the National Geographics; go for the gold.
Anything that seems at all cool now, books, magazines, comics, toys, whatever, buy one to use and one to save. Don't even take the saved one out of the box or wrapper.
No, the Playboys aren't worth saving. Dispose of them discreetly, or give them back. Unwrinkled, untorn, certainly unstained.
You're a goof. Goof is good, folks like being entertained, but avoid weird.
Those cool books in the school library about chemistry magic with all the fireworks recipes? Steal them now. (One at a time, and leave another, similar book from Adam's Used Books on the table so you won't be noticed.) The librarians will throw them out within three years anyway, to keep them out of the hands of budding revolutionaries. Don't make a habit of this, but those three are worth the risk and guilt, and you will use them for good, not evil.
That stupid idea about using computers for animation? Not stupid.
But learn to draw first. You actually have a talent for it. Draw at least one picture every day. Start today.
History is cool.
Your textbooks are gap-filled, error-ridden and often lie outright; embarrass your teachers.
Hey, George Washington grew pot! The Constitution is written on hemp paper! Honest! Look it up!
Never, ever, stand by and let someone else get hazed or belittled.
Hit bullies back. Hard.
Learn to shoot.
Dump the dorky book bag and get a good briefcase.
Dump the slide rule; it will be utterly obsolete by the time you really need it. No, I swear. See the notes above about collectibles.
Dump the cheap polyester pants and shirts too. Admit it, you do know what looks good. Nothing to be ashamed of.
Get a haircut. Carry a comb. Your hair will never be neat, but you can keep it from getting all ratty and tangled.
Read the top of the mayonaise jar: KEEP COOL BUT DON'T FREEZE. Nevertheless:
Be bold with girls.
Know what color her eyes are before you speak to her the first time. Occasionally, drop a hint that shows you are paying attention: a favorite color, a favorite flower, a favorite song. No, don't make them yours. Just be sure she knows you are noticing hers. This will be hard for you, I know. Practice casually, so that you will be ready when you meet HER.
When you touch her, be certain that when she looks at you, you are staring straight into her eyes. Mean it. Don't flinch.
These can't be your only tricks. Think of others. And they're not tricks. Once again, mean it.
Never blame on malice what can be attributed to stupidity.
Take risks in public, but think them through and practice privately first, if possible. For really risky stuff, have a trusted buddy standing by when you practice.
When you are the trusted buddy, and things go badly, stick it out, stand by your man, take your lumps along with his.
Above all, remember: EVERYBODY MAKES MISTAKES. HORRIBLE ONES. They are too wrapped up in their own to worry much about yours. You are free.
In the wrong hands, sanity is a dangerous weapon.