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Psychologist Consoles Data Loss Victims
(ok.whatever) writes "A former suicide prevention counselor is employed full-time by a data recovery firm to console its callers. The San Francisco Chronicle reports: 'When the company receives a call from someone who's clearly lost it -- which can happen several times an hour -- Chessin comes on the line to help the caller rediscover their happy place.' Good grief!"
I can just see a whole new line of new age books in the self-help section of the local bookstore...
From RAID to Radiant - How a broken striped array needn't end your life"LMAO
Never, ever lose a file again. Ever.
somebody like this, cause obviously my advice to "suck it up" ain't workin'
Lack of creativity is no excuse for not having a
Time to replace "I'm Okay, You're Okay" with "Backup often and we'll all be Okay."
is a "phsychologist console" ?
"No I can't backup from this ledge. I'm going to JMP!"
-Look lively. LOOK LIVELY!!! --Mr. Shmallow
...people whose servers get slashdotted? Does she counsel those people too?
Also, I keep trying to read the headline as "Psychologist CONsoles..." instead of "Psychologist conSOLES..." Like she turns them into Gamecubes or something.
I'll shut up now.
My porn! I lost all my porn!
How do they define "someone who's clearly lost it"?
Hey, some freak's on the phone saying he's just switched from (insert favorite open source os) to Win2k server!! Here you take him!
Instant Karma's gonna get you Gonna look you right in the face -- John Lennon
She's hot :)
You cannot apply a technological solution to a sociological problem. (Edwards' Law)
In this particular case, the signature should say:
You can apply a sociological solution (suicide counseling) to a technical problem (hard drive crash). ;-)
--sex
Very popular slashdot journal for adul
Pfff...They could have just used Eliza and saved themselves some dough:r otoys/el iza.php3
http://manifestation.com.h.sabren.com/neu
> Hello, I am Eliza.
* hi. i lost all of my data
> How are you today.. What would you like to discuss?
* i lost all of my data
> That is quite interesting.
* no shit
> Why not?
* you make little sense
> You're not really talking about me, are you?
* I would imagine. Your company screwed me over. I lost all of my pr0n
> Why are you concerned about my company screwed you over. you lost all of your pr0n?
* yes. it is all gone. i might as well jump into a sewer
> I see.
* you are no help at all
> Does it please you to believe I am no help at all?
* i am going to sue you
> Do you enjoy being going to sue me?
* yes. goodbye.
True, true. But you have to realize that probably 75-80% of the /. crowd consider anything with a vagina hot. And she, from what we can tell, is a woman (you never know, she's in SF, could be a tranny).
This woman is just plain fugly.
I told you, I deal with the goddamned customers! I have people skills, damnit. I'm good with people. What the hell is WRONG with you people?
-theGreater Mike.
Yes, your grief is good. You've made an important step here, a key realisation to taking that grief and harnessing it on the road to recovery.
I'd like to step up our sessions and tackle that guilt over dupe postings you mentioned last week.
I can see that we're making real progress here.
Liza E. Pooter
BOFH Episode 6
.cshrc and .login"h !"
It's friday, so I get into work early, before lunch even. The phone rings. Shit!
I turn the page on the excuse sheet. "SOLAR FLARES" stares out at me. I'd better read up on that. Two minutes later I'm ready to answer the phone.
"Hello?" I say.
"WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN, I'VE BEEN TRYING TO GET YOU ALL MORNING?!"
I hate it when they shout at me early in the morning. It always puts me in a bad mood. You know what I mean.
"Ah, yes. Well, there's been some solar activity this morning, it always disrupts electronics..." I say, sweet as a sugar pie.
"Huh? But I could get through to my friends?!"
"Yes, that's entirely possible, solar activity is very unpredictable in it's effects. Why last week, we had some files just dissappear from a guys account while he was working on it!"
"Really?"
"Straight Up! Hey, do you want me to check your account?"
"Yes please, I've got some important stuff in there!"
"Ok, what's your username..."
He tells me. Honestly, it's like shooting a fish in a barrel. Twice. With an Elephant Gun. At point blank range. In the head.
(Do I really need to tell you the clicky clicky bit?.. I think not)
"How many files are in your account?" I ask
"Um, well there should be about 20 in my thesis writeup, 10 or so with the data for it, and another 20 or so in a book that I'm writing"
"Hmmm. Well, I think we caught it just in time. You've still got 2 files left...
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaggggggggghhh
He sobs into the receiver a bit - it really turns my stomach.
"What can I do?" he sniffs
"Ok, do you have any of your stuff backed up on floppy?"
"Some, but it's weeks old!"
I fire up the bulk eraser.
"Ok" I say "How about I come out and load all that data onto your account pronto so you can get some work done?"
"That'd be great, but it's all at home" he wimpers. "I spose I'll just load it all in myself tonight"
"Sure. But remember what I said, solar flares are bad for disks and machines. Protect your disks from solar activity to prevent them losing their data"
"How do I do that? Wrap them in tin-foil?"
"NO! TIN FOIL'S THE WORST THING! YOU KNOW WHAT TIN FOIL DOES IN A MICROWAVE DON'T YOU?!"
"Yes.."
"Then don't use it. There's only one thing that protects disks from solar activity.."
"What's that?"
"MAGNETS! Wrap your disks up in a pillow case with lots of magnets - Solar Flares hate that"
"Wow! Thanks"
"No worries at all..."
Shit I'm good!
He's right, of course.
At work, save it to the bosses shared drive.
At home, save it to your significant others' hard drive.
"I never knew you were SO kinky!" -- Easy way to respark the relationship.
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
My favorite tech support call was a woman who had gone overseas for a year and a half to research her novel. Prior to this she had backed up the part she had already written (she claimed it was several hundred pages created over the past year) to floppy disks. When she came home it was discovered that the data on the floppies was corrupted. But what about the original on the hard drive? She deleted it on purpose because after all, it was backed up! Argh!!!
I just completed my undergraduate degree with 10 megs zipped representing my academic coursework.
I made a 700mb CD image full of the that same file repeated 70 times.
I burned that image 10 times @ 2X on 48X Taiyo Yuden CDR media with verification on.
I've given two CDs to four different friends for safe keeping.
The probability of me losing that data is probably lower than time reversing itself to the point where I decided to back it up, and then reversing that decision.
It's not entirely IBMs fault you lost your data. Backup often.
when do they start handing out anti-depression pills with the purchase of a pre built computer?? instead of emailing the manufacturer's tech support, just forward the request to a local pharmacy for a refill.
Lizard "Never let them set limits on your mind!"
[Customer] Hello, I lost all my data, what should I do?
[Helpline] Well, let's see if your data really is lost...
[Customer] How would I know?
[Helpline]Use another PC! Go to our website and download ReKovver.exe. You need to run this from a diskette on your PC.
[Customer] Would you guide me through?
[Helpline] Sure.
(Half an hour later...)
[Customer] It just says "No Results". Are my data lost then?
[Helpline] I am affraid that is the fact, Ma'am.
[Customer] So what do I do now to get on?
[Helpline] Do you have any close friends or relatives who would support you from here?
[Customer] I am not sure...
[Helpline] Then I must insist that you don't hang up before we agree that it is fine to do so!
[Customer] Please help me...
[Helpline] You must first think of something really wonderful that is non-cyber.
[Customer] Pardon?
[Helpline] You lost some valuables in the computer, so to get over the devastating expirience you must think of valuables you can't loose in this manner.
[Customer] My wristwatch?
[Helpline] I don't know how valuable your wristwatch is, but I would go for something along the line of your kids, your parents or going barbercue in the mountains.
(Half an hour later...)
[Customer] I think that I can manage now...
[Helpline] If you get desparate, then please call back. My name is Joe Counsel, and it has been a pleasure to help
:-) = I am happy
:^) = I am happy with my big nose
C:\> = I am happy with my OS
But it's definately healthier to suck it up according to this New York Times piece.
So if you're pouting about losing data, you're probably going to be worse off soon :)
Whoever said that he tries to change their mind -- he's a psychologist, and that would imply a value judgement! He just makes them happy with their decision.
Thus, there is no need for long term help; likewise, with the data loss victims, there is no need for long term help.
But sadly, it does take him about twice as long with the potential suicides.
We might suppose that this is because data loss victims are about twice as likely to jump from the getgo...
Hah I lost my pgp key too. Strange how a 100 character password seemed like a good idea at the time...
"a laptop crushed beneath the wheel of a MacWorld shuttle bus or a PowerBook that spent two days at the bottom of the Amazon River"
Perhaps its that Mac users are just more sensitive.
Well excuse us, for not making more of an effort to entertain you. Go back to jerking off into the gaping mouth of your dead mother under your bed. Also you are such a lame troll, it's obvious to all of us here that you are a virgin with a B.O problem.
Wow, I think you've got that special sensitive touch when dealing with people. You'd make an excellent addition to Kelly and the team down at DriveSavers.
Either that or writing children's novels.Best wishes,
Mike.
I think this is a very good thing for tech support in general. I remember working tech-support for dell when I was 16. My second day I had a lady call in who's HDD had crashed and she lost basically her life's work. It should have been a simple diagnosis, her system was still warrantied, she'd get a new HDD the next day.
She was freaking out though, crying so loud between words I couldn't hardly make out anything she said. She was having spasmatic asthma attacks from crying so hard. She was crying out to God to please help her and not let this happen. This was truly a woman at the depths of despair.
And I a novice 16 year old geek on the other end, completely unprepared to handle anything like this. I was trying so hard to console her I couldn't even do a proper diagnosis. I ran to get my boss, who talked to her for a minute before he went to get a lady who used to be a school counselor.
She talked her down enough to get some sensible information from her, and we were able to diagnose her problem instantly.
She had left a non-bootable disk in the floppy drive.
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.
I read "Good Grief!" and instantly added "...Charlie Brown". From there it was a small mental leap to Lucy and "The Doctor is IN"; now I'm wondering whether a call to this service will put me onto a delusional dog who's fighting the Red Baron, a bird who can't fly, a manic depressive kid with a big head and a striped shirt, a child prodigy pianist or a kid who's too scared to let go of his blanket.
Yep, that's the guys I'll want to talk to when my system's dead.
What the hell's IN this beer anyway...?
Just call it something juicy, put it on kazaa... instant distributed backup!
Tell me about your Motherboard...
(at least one person got it, eh?)
--- Jason Olshefsky
Karma: Poser (mostly affected by adding this line long after everyone else did)
next week, shrinks help those who cannot remember their high scores on tetris.
-Cnik
It suddenly occurs to me that suicide hotlines are the example I will use when I next have to explain to someone the sheer asinine stupidity of judging tech support staff based on call length metrics.
"Hello, Dogbert's suicide hotline."
"I don't think I can go on... I want to end--"
"Shut up and kill yourself already."
*click*
No callback, 20 second call time... I'm gonna be getting a bonus!
GCHQ Quantum Insert installed. If only our tongues were made of glass, how much more careful we would be when we speak
this guy.
Listen to the whole thing...it goes critical at 20.3 seconds.
Evil is the money of root.
http://linuxadvocate.net/data_loss/
Jesus and Satan were having an ongoing argument about who was better at using the computer. They had been really going at the bickering.
Finally, God said, "Cool it!! I am going to set up a test which will take two hours and it will judge who does the better job."
So Satan and Jesus sat down at the keyboards and typed away.
They moused.
They did spreadsheets.
They wrote reports.
They sent faxes.
They sent e-mail.
They sent out e-mail with attachments.
They downloaded.
They made cards.
They did every known job.
Suddenly... without warning...ten minutes before the time was up, lightning flashed across the sky, thunder rolled, the rain poured, and of course, the electricity went off.
Satan stared at his blank screen and screamed every curse word known in the underworld.
Jesus just sighed. The electricity finally flickered back on, and each of them restarted their computers.
Satan started searching frantically screaming, "It's gone! It's all gone! I lost everything when the power went out!"
Meanwhile, Jesus quietly started printing out all his files from the past two hours.
Satan observed this and became even more irate. "Wait! This isn't fair, Jesus cheated! How did he do it??!!"
God shrugged and said, "Jesus Saves."