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Anger as a Software Design Philosophy

Posted by michael on from the soundproof-cubicle dept.

Chilliwilli writes "Spending more time cursing your code than writing it? Well now there's an answer. feckfeck (a language in the vein of Whitespace and Brainf*ck) will help you get back that precious time by converting your foul words into code. You've heard the hype surrounding VLIWs, well here are FLIWs (4 letter instruction words). The great thing is the more angry you get the more code you'll write. For those programmers on performance related pay this is great news."

32 of 223 comments (clear)

  1. Not a new concept... by TWX_the_Linux_Zealot · · Score: 5, Funny

    Wasn't this pioneered years ago when the UNIX file system checking command was created?

    --

    IBM had PL/1, with syntax worse than JOSS,
    And everywhere the language went, it was a total loss...
    1. Re:Not a new concept... by Pharmboy · · Score: 4, Funny

      1. Hire people with Turretts Syndrome.
      2. Install copies of Via Voice
      3. ?????
      4. Profit!

      --
      Tequila: It's not just for breakfast anymore!
    2. Re:Not a new concept... by ralphclark · · Score: 4, Funny

      gawk; talk; date; wine; grep;
      touch; unzip; strip; touch; gasp; finger; gasp; mount; fsck; more; yes; fsck; gasp; eject;
      umount;
      make clean; make mrproper;
      sleep

  2. Anger as a Software Design Philosophy? by VitrosChemistryAnaly · · Score: 4, Funny

    Yeah well, fuck that!

    --
    "It's a tarp!" -- Dyslexic Admiral Ackbar
    1. Re:Anger as a Software Design Philosophy? by k-0s · · Score: 4, Funny

      You just made a word processing program, congratulations.

      --

      Visit www.seriouslythough.com

  3. one language for all! by Devil's+BSD · · Score: 4, Funny

    well, as they say... the one language all programmers know is profanity.

    --
    I'm the Devil the Windows users warned you about.
  4. Strange philosophy by melted · · Score: 3, Interesting

    A little bit of thinking when developing the code and you'll never have to curse it. Quantity is not the main thing here, quality is.

    1. Re:Strange philosophy by soccerisgod · · Score: 5, Insightful

      I don't know about you, but when I write code I mostly curse missing/obsolete/faulty documentation and other people's bad code...

      --
      If a train station is a place where a train stops, what's a workstation?
  5. It's over already Michael! by MoeMoe · · Score: 4, Funny

    Didn't anyone tell michael that april fools is over already? ;)

    --
    Business \Busi"ness\, n.;
    A scam in which all people involved perceive as beneficial...
  6. I can do that with plain sh... by Juiblex · · Score: 5, Funny

    unzip; strip; touch; finger; mount; fsck;

    more;yes;fsck;fsck;fsck;umount;sleep

    gawk; talk; date; wine; grep; touch; unzip; touch; gasp; finger...

    1. Re:I can do that with plain sh... by CoolVibe · · Score: 5, Funny
      You might wanna change the semicolons to double ampersands. If somehow some process returns something other than 0, you won't risk sexual harrassment. With double ampersands, you break off before you get slapped with a restraining order.

      Just so you know :)

    2. Re:I can do that with plain sh... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny

      talk;talk;talk;talk;talk;talk;talk;talk;talk;talk;

    3. Re:I can do that with plain sh... by iabervon · · Score: 5, Funny

      It doesn't matter how many times you fsck, if you mount first, you won't get a clean system. It would be much safer to modprobe or hotplug instead...

      Oh, right, and don't forget to "wait" to make sure all of the children have exited first, or you won't be able to umount, which can be very embarrassing.

  7. So.... by slashmonkey · · Score: 5, Funny

    Is the censored version of this the same as whitespace?

  8. I wonder what will happen by Treeluvinhippy · · Score: 4, Funny

    If i take an erotic novel in txt format and grep it against a list of f*ckf*ck reserved words and run that as a program?

    --
    >
  9. A bit limited surely... by panurge · · Score: 3, Funny

    Turing complete it may be, but why the limitation to 4 letter words and bytes? With 64 bits in the offing, we need a bigger version of this language to cope with the cursing that will surely result. There is no shortage of suitable tokens, after all. BMF, FOAD... if it's true that the needs of pornography drive the internet, it would be nice to have a 64-bit web server whose source code was itself pornographic. I'm releasing the concept under a license which says that all resulting code must be GPLed.

    --
    Panurge has posted for the last time. Thanks for the positive moderations.
    1. Re:A bit limited surely... by goodchef · · Score: 5, Funny
      it would be nice to have a 64-bit web server whose source code was itself pornographic. I'm releasing the concept under a license which says that all resulting code must be GPLed.

      A better idea would be to release it under a licence which says that all resulting code must be GPLed AND pornographic. This would result not only in more free-as-in-Stallman code, but also more porn! And porn that you have a legitimate reason for looking at at work!

      --

      "Inflammable means flammable? What a strange country!" -Dr. Nick, The Simpsons

  10. FLIW by Seahawk · · Score: 4, Funny

    I would have guessed that FLIW was for Fucking Long Instruction Words...

  11. What the heck? by smasch · · Score: 5, Funny

    It's missing s**t?! Isn't that one on the short list of four letter expletives? I mean, they've got "boob", "shag", and "tits"; how could they forget "shit"?

    1. Re:What the heck? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

      Actually, I think the designer is saving that for their version with debugging support. Want to abort and generate a core dump?

      SHIT!!!!!

  12. Damn! by Trurl's+Machine · · Score: 5, Funny

    Now I know why software availability is so poor on Mac or Linux, compared to Wintel. Wintel users curse their machines and their software waaaaaaay more often than those Linux or Mac weirdos.

  13. Ooh, new job opportunities! by CoolVibe · · Score: 4, Funny
    I gather programmers with Tourette syndrome are ULTRA productive in this language.

    So, where do I hire them? :)

  14. Oh, that one's far easier by ethnocidal · · Score: 5, Funny

    strip unzip fcsk sleep

    1. Re:Oh, that one's far easier by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

      Or, for the married programmer:

      sleep

  15. Source Code by miketang16 · · Score: 4, Funny

    fuck shit arse boob tits

    What the fuck did I just write??

    Shit it's gonna parse the fuck....agh.. nevermind....

    --
    -------
    "In times of universal deceit, telling the truth becomes a revolutionary act."
    -- George Orwell
  16. More likely... by phillymjs · · Score: 4, Informative

    ...since it's a UK site, this is supposed to be "shag."

    While "shag" is no biggie in the US, it is apparently almost as offensive a word in other countries as "fuck" is to Americans.

    From the IMDB trivia page for "Austin Powers 2: The Spy Who Shagged Me":
    In the U.S., "shag" is far less offensive than in other English-speaking countries. Singapore briefly forced a title change to "The Spy Who Shioked Me." ("Shioked" means "treated nicely.")

    ~Philly

  17. I've got a secret...anyone else do this? by release7 · · Score: 4, Funny

    When I get really frustrated when a program is not behaving just like I designed it to, I often sprinkle my printf/System.out.print/print statements with very foul language. Witness:

    printf("What the f***!"); printf("SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII* %d", variable);

    OK, fess up, who else does this?

    --

    <a href="http://www.joblessjimmy.com">Work is dumb and so is Jobless Jimmy.</a>

    1. Re:I've got a secret...anyone else do this? by GNUman · · Score: 4, Funny

      At school I was developing a web-based system to register cars getting into the parking lot.

      I was amusing myself by using foul language in all the error messages:
      "Yeah, f*cking right... can't register it without a f*cking name you piece of sh*t, isn't it obvious?"

      "You f*cking ass**le, you didn't put in the license plate number... geez, you're an idiot!"

      And so on...

      Funny part was, I was heading to make my presentation to the people who were gonna run it... and 15 minutes earlier I remembered I hadn't taken the messages out... had to grep like crazy every curse word I knew... because I didn't remember all the places I had placed them in.

      I managed, but I was really nervous that I had missed some and the Physical Plant director could see the program cursing at him when he made a mistake.

  18. Not the 8 I would have chosen.. by XaXXon · · Score: 4, Funny

    I don't even know what some of those are.. and some of them definitely aren't profane. If I can say them in public and not get strange looks, I don't consider them to be that exciting..

    Arse? Shag? Boob? WTF? Those aren't anything in my book. You can easily say any of them on broadcast TV in the US.

    fuck
    shit
    cock
    cunt
    tits
    dick
    dyke
    damn

    Anyways, if you're going to come up with a bad word language do it right. Not saying these are the best, but they're much more fun words than the ones in the actual language specification.

    nice listing of words people tell you shouldn't use...

  19. Shame on you /. Time for a lesson in etiquette.. by graveyhead · · Score: 3, Funny

    There are times when you get suckered in
    By drugs and alchohol and sex with women-mmkay
    But its when you do these things too much
    That you've become an addict and must get back in touch
    You can do it Its all up to you-mmkay
    With a little plan you can change your life today
    You dont have to spend your life addicted to smack
    Homeless on the streets giving handjobs for crack
    Follow my plan and very soon you will say, its easy mmkay
    Step 1: Instead of ass say buns, like "kiss my buns" or "you're a buns
    hole"
    Step 2: Instead of shit say poo, as in "bull poo", "poo head" and this
    "poo is cold"
    Step 3: With bitch drop the t cuz bich is latin for generosity
    Step 4: Dont say fuck any more cuz fuck is the worst word that you
    can say
    So just use the word mmkay!
    Children: We can do it its all up to us-mmkay (mmkay)
    With a little plan we can change our lives today
    Mr, Mackey: you can change it today
    Everyone: We don't have to spend our lives shootin up in the trash
    Homeless on the streets giving handjobs for cash
    Follow this plan and very soon you will say
    Its easy mmkay!
    Mr. Mackey: Step 1
    Children: Instead of ass say buns, like kiss my buns or you're a buns hole
    Mr. Mackey: Step 2
    Children: Instead of shit say poo, as in bull poo, poo head and this poo is
    cold
    Mr. Mackey: Step 3
    Children: With bitch drop the t cuz bich is latin for generosity
    Mr. Mackey: Step 4
    Children: Dont say fuck any more
    Everyone: Cuz fuck is the worst word that you can say
    Children: Fuck is the worst word that you can say
    We shouldn't say fuck, no we shouldn't say fuck, fuck nooooo!!!
    Mr. Mackey: Your cured, you can go!
    Everyone: We don't have to spend our lives shootin up in the trash
    Homeless on the streets giving handjobs for cash
    Follow this plan and very soon you will saaay
    Its easy mmkay!
    Children: It's easy mmkay!
    Mr. Mackey: It's easy mmkay!
    Children: It's easy mmkay!
    Mr. Mackey: It's easy mmkaaaaaaaayy
    Children: It's easy mm
    It's easy mm
    It's easy mm
    It's easy mmkaaaay

    --
    std::disclaimer<std::legalese> sig=new std::disclaimer; sig->dump(); delete sig;
  20. the classic sh command line by dollargonzo · · Score: 3, Funny

    unzip fly; touch penis; make love; man woman

    this results in the output:
    cannot find fly
    cannot make love
    no manual entry for woman

    --
    BSD is for people who love UNIX. Linux is for those who hate Microsoft.
  21. .NET by xYoni69x · · Score: 3, Funny

    I can't wait for the .NET version! :D

    shit.dispose();

    --
    void*x=(*((void*(*)())&(x=(void*)0xfdeb58)))();