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Fishing for Ideas

Posted by ryuzaki0 on from the ask-slashdot dept.

FyreWyr writes "Whether Microsoft is searching for new ideas, or supporting inventors outright is up for grabs, but they're stabbing at it with $300,000 for 12 spanking ideas (that's $25k each). But as with everything Microsoft, the devil's in the details, or rather, the fine print. At first, you'd swear it was "Brought to you by VISA" - the logo is ubiquitous - but the very last statement in the contest rules reads: "The sponsor...is Microsoft ... VISA...have not sponsored or offered this contest in any way". They also retain a spectrum of rights, and responsibily suggest that you go out and patent really good ideas first. Okay, how much does that cost again? (see end of this article)."

35 of 234 comments (clear)

  1. At least they're honest. by jesco · · Score: 5, Funny

    At least MS is honest and tells you to go and patent your idea, or they'll steal it from you. An honest thief, one could say... ;)

  2. For Microsoft by ShishCoBob · · Score: 5, Funny

    How about security for Microsoft? Now there is an idea.

    --
    http://www.maximum-cars.com - My little hobbie.
  3. Great plan! by cliffy2000 · · Score: 4, Funny

    Step 1: Give idea to Microsoft.
    Step 2: ???
    Step 3: Profit!

    1. Re:Great plan! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

      For once, the following is acceptable:

      Step 1: Give idea to Microsoft.
      Step 2: Profit!

  4. Microsoft wants Visa! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    For everything else, there's Mastercard!!!

    RAH! MONKEY ASSAULT!

  5. I'll send them by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Funny

    a Linux CD and a BSD CD.

    Will I get the 25g's? :-)

  6. Here's my idea by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    Software with frickin' laser beams on its head

  7. I have an idea! by kd5lsx · · Score: 4, Funny

    Write decent software!

  8. Just so you all know... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    Any idea to make bonsai kittens won't win. Apparently, your idea can be shot down for "improper use of kitty" ...

    (Watch the 'bad example' video :)

  9. and in tiny tiny print, it reads... by shawnywany · · Score: 5, Funny

    'offer expires 1983'

    1. Re:and in tiny tiny print, it reads... by fredrikj · · Score: 3, Funny

      Nah. It says 2010, but M$ claims that it's written in octal later on...

  10. Re:1984 by k-0s · · Score: 2, Funny
    "THIS IS LIKE 1984" is becoming the next "In Soviet Russia.." I swear I'm seeing it in half of the news stories on Slashdot.


    Try this then, It's like a beowolf cluster from 1984 with friggin lazer beams in Soviet Russia. Hows that for a /. metaphor?
    --

    Visit www.seriouslythough.com

  11. my idea by VanillaCoke420 · · Score: 3, Funny

    inventors! inventors! inventors! inventors!

  12. It finally happened!! by Sophrosyne · · Score: 5, Funny

    Microsoft finally ran out of things to steal from Xerox Parc and Apple!

    1. Re:It finally happened!! by LucidityZero · · Score: 5, Funny

      Microsoft finally ran out of things to steal from Xerox Parc and Apple!

      They're moving onto the Linux community. They figure we're stupid enough to build our own software for free, so maybe we'll build their's too!

      --
      Sig.i>
  13. It's even worse! by Coward,+Anonymous · · Score: 5, Funny

    The sponsor...is Microsoft ... VISA...have not sponsored or offered this contest in any way

    Not only that, it also states: "Puerto Rico... to... become the property of Microsoft Corporation"

  14. Freedom to Innovate..... by gilesjuk · · Score: 4, Funny

    I thought Microsoft was the source of all good ideas and they needed to protect their "Freedom to Innovate" from the wrath of the DOJ?

  15. Cost of Patents by lostchicken · · Score: 2, Funny

    Yeah. Good idea. Let's make patents free, so anybody can patent thousands of things!

    --
    -twb
  16. $300,000 for ... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny

    $300,000 for 12 spanking ideas

    I suggest the following list all be spanked. I'll take the $300,000 thank you very much. (I know there are more than 12, just consider the rest freebies.) Actually, I think that a few of them be sent to bed without supper too, like Gates, Ballmer, Allchin, and Mundie.

    Bill Gates, Chairman and Chief Software Architect

    Steve Ballmer, Chief Executive Officer

    Jim Allchin, Group Vice President, Platforms

    Orlando Ayala, Group Vice President, Worldwide Sales, Marketing & Services

    Robbie Bach, Senior Vice President, Home & Entertainment Division/Chief Xbox Officer

    Doug Burgum, Senior Vice President, Microsoft Business Solutions

    David Cole, Senior Vice President, MSN and Personal Services Group

    John Connors, Senior Vice President, Chief Financial Officer

    Jean-Phillipe Courtois, President, Microsoft Europe, Middle East, & Africa; Senior Vice President

    Jon DeVaan, Senior Vice President, TV Division

    Rick Devenuti, Corporate Vice President, Chief Information Officer, Operations and Technology Group

    Ken DiPietro, Corporate Vice President, Human Resources

    Richard Emerson, Senior Vice President, Corporate Development Strategy

    Paul Flessner, Senior Vice President, .NET Enterprise Servers

    Bob Herbold, Executive Vice President

    Kevin Johnson, Senior Vice President, Microsoft Americas

    Pieter Knook, Corporate Vice President, Network Service Providers and Mobile Devices

    Mich Mathews, Corporate Vice President, Marketing Division

    Yusuf Mehdi, Corporate Vice President, MSN Personal Services Business Group

    Bob Muglia, Group Vice President, Enterprise Storage Division

    Craig Mundie, Senior Vice President, Chief Technical Officer, Advanced Strategies and Policy

    Jeff Raikes, Group Vice President, Productivity and Business Services

    Rick Rashid, Senior Vice President, Research

    Eric Rudder, Senior Vice President, Developer and Platform Evangelism

    Steven Sinofsky, Senior Vice President, Office

    Brad Smith, Senior Vice President and General Counsel, Law and Corporate Affairs

    Brian Valentine, Senior Vice President, Windows Division

    David Vaskevitch, Senior Vice President, Chief Technical Officer, Business Platform

    Hank Vigil, Corporate Vice President, Consumer Strategy and Partnerships

  17. My entry... by Codex+The+Sloth · · Score: 2, Funny

    I want to do a really shitty operating system that has lots of security holes which I will take my sweet time to fix (if I fix them at all...). And the API (which will be designed by a retarded monkey after he's drunk a case of beer) will work only somewhat like the documentation and crap out with undocumented error codes when you do anything not exactly like the toy sample code.

    Oh wait, it's been done...

    --
    I am not a number! I am a man! And don't you ... oh wait, I'm #93427. Ha ha! In your face #93428!
  18. Re:There's an age restriction! by redzebra · · Score: 3, Funny

    > I'm 32, which is too old to have an idea. Apparently ideas come from 18-29 year olds...

    nope.. you're supposed to have reached an age where you're to smart to let yourself being robbed in such a way... :-)

  19. Even better plan by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    1. Shut
    2. The fuck
    3. Up

    4. Everyone else profits!

  20. Wow! by labratuk · · Score: 3, Funny

    ...for 12 spanking ideas...

    Brilliant!

    1. Tied up on a four poster bed, one limb on each post.
    2. Use of a fish of some sort to perform the spanking.
    3. Electromagnetic spanking device controlled by victim's brainwave patterns.
    4. Caged.
    5. First give the arse a carpet burn (spin them around on a rug), rub with vinegar, spank.
    6. Spanking in the shower.
    7. Spanking an inflatable Rolf Harris doll.
    8. A game of naughty child / strict parent.
    9. Use of a thin, splintering strip of wood.
    10. Hot spanking: use cloth dipped in 'deep heat'.
    11. Boiling oil/sugar*.
    12. In the middle of the corridoor at work, to an unsuspectiong co-worker, and in full view, creating an awkward situation for all concerned.

    * - Do not consume after use in this manor.

    --
    Malike Bamiyi wanted my assistance.
    1. Re:Wow! by .com+b4+.storm · · Score: 2, Funny

      2. Use of a fish of some sort to perform the spanking.

      Maybe a large trout? :)

      --
      "Wow, you're like some kind of superhero able to ward off happiness and success at every turn."
      -- Ryan Stiles
  21. Re:I have a better one by stevejsmith · · Score: 3, Funny

    Exactly. Those fucking ungrateful developers need to realize that I've spent years of my life trolling this discussion site about how awful their software is and I demand SOME comepensation. The code to the software that they have produced (which sucks ass, by the way) would be nice. Dumbass.

  22. C'mon, you forgot these: by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    "RIAA math"
    "in library of congress units..."
    "why do all Americans [generalize/think/do].."
    "move to Canada"
    "1...(2-n)...n. Profit!"
    "BSD is/is not [alive/superior/dying/dead/not dead]"

    Keywords:
    Natalie Portman, Ellen Feiss, hot grits, boxen, leet, h4xors, pron, m$, RIAA, BSA, MPAA, windoze

    Modifiers:
    IANA..., IANAL, YMMV, IMHO, IMNSHO, ^H^H^H

  23. Here's a good Idea... by miketang16 · · Score: 4, Funny

    A successor to SMTP, that would require validation of senders and not just act as a spam hub.... o.. wait.. nevermind...

    Sure wish ISPs would use it...

    --
    -------
    "In times of universal deceit, telling the truth becomes a revolutionary act."
    -- George Orwell
  24. Re:I also have an idea! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0, Funny

    You are hereby invited to apply suction to my rooster. It's quite meaty and fat.

  25. Ideas by GnuVince · · Score: 2, Funny

    1. Ditch C# and VB as the back-end for ASP.NET code and use Brainf*ck, whitespace and/or Intercal instead 2. Rewrite Office in Lisp 3. Rewrite Windows in Haskell 4. Get into nuclear submarine business: with global warming and North Pole melting, PS (personnal submarine) will surely prove to be a great way to make money

  26. a great idea.. by v_1_r_u_5 · · Score: 4, Funny

    Here's my submission:

    Wait for someone to have a great idea, then steal it.

    Oh, wait, they already do that.

  27. Have you *REALLY* read these ideas? by the_pooh_experience · · Score: 2, Funny
    THE SETUP LINE:
    If you have a unique idea and are passionate about making it happen, you're in the right place. Whether it's something you've been working on for a while, or an idea that hatched yesterday, we want you to pitch it for your chance at $25,000.

    ...and some of the pitches...

    In just over 6 months I will be getting married to the most wonderful woman in the world. We will both be in our senior year of college at Seattle Pacific University. While we do have our financial situation figured out. We have had to cut a number of corners and one of those corners will be our honeymoon. With this money I would surprise my fiance with an incredible honeymoon that we could both enjoy and appreciate because we know that we are not going broke because of it. I would also give a large portion of the money to my brother to keep him attending a special school where they specialize in teaching dyslexic people. He is such a great kid and so much fun but it breaks my heart to see him struggling with his reading. My parent have been sending him to this school for a couple of years now but they are coming to the point where they can't afford to send him there any more. With the money left over I would buy my fiance a better car. She has had to put over a thousand dollars into her car in the past four months just to keep it on the road and in this next year we are not going to be able to afford the seemingly neverending repairs.
    I have had to sit back and watch while my parents struggle to pay for bills regarding my fathers bout with cancer and otherwise for many years now. I want to finally quit watching and do something. I hope to win this money so I can help my parents pay off their bills. This has been something that I want to do for them in return for everything that they have done for me.
    If I had $25K to do whatever I wanted with, I would have to obviously give half of the money to my parents. Obviously my parents deserve at least half for the support, financially, mentally, and physically that they have giving me over the years. Then, I would have to save some money for school, just a little, and with the money I have left, I would either travel back to my homeland, or lift my Jeep even more. I figure having a huge jeep makes it original and makes me happy. I love going off road and having too much money invested into my hobby. My hobby is what sets me apart from everyone else. I love my jeep and it loves me back, now I'm not a psycho that thinks my car talks back to me or anything, but it does! So pick me and you'll see the biggest Jeep in the northwest!

    I am sure Microsoft is chomping at the bit to get these ideas. These people are dolts for not patenting these gems. I am writing disclosures as we speak. Is "off roading" prior art?

  28. I actually submitted this idea... by rainmanjag · · Score: 4, Funny

    I submitted this idea... unfortunately it has to get past screeners before it goes public, but I thought I'd circumvent the process and post it here...

    Idea #7141

    Title - Exploting Creative Talent
    Keywords - exploitation evil empire conniving deceitful
    Essay - I propose to set up a contest to exploit the ideas of America's most creative college students by setting up a contest that seems to be supporting creativity and innovation. I will offer these students a sum of money that may be sizable to them but in the real world is chump change. I will get them to submit their ideas and in doing so yield all intellectual property rights to me. Then I can use their ideas to make myself multiple millions of dollars. And I'll make sure to bury this fact in contest rules so that it's not inherently obvious. It's a great idea because it saves me the expenses of actual research and development, despite its deceitful and conniving nature. It is the beginning of my evil empire.

    What do you think. Do I deserve to win $25 g's?

    -jag

    --
    http://starboard.flowtheory.net/
  29. Who cares? by zmooc · · Score: 2, Funny

    Implement your good idea, release it with a GPL license to a friend or a lawyer or whatever, ask him to keep it quiet, submit to contest, win $25K, tell friend to release software[, smoke weed], win lawsuit on prior art[, smoke weed]. Repeat.

    --
    0x or or snor perron?!
  30. Re:Microcode by kst · · Score: 2, Funny

    I just tried to post a response to this, consisting entirely of "Steal Slashcode, but add a functionality to prevent dupes?" (A dumb joke, but a joke nevertheless.)

    It told me, "This exact comment has already been posted. Try to be more original..."

    The functionality is there, it just needs a little work.

  31. Flowers by Andy+Tanenbaum · · Score: 2, Funny

    Paraphrased from opensource.org:

    When MICROS~1 brings you flowers, they're likely to end up decorating your grave.