Apple Posts Earnings, Denies Bid for Universal

Lars T. writes "A number of things: Apple posts Q2 results, and denies it bid for Universial Music. Now a Register article quotes a Reuters article that 'Vivendi Universal director Claude Bebear didn't express his views on the merger talks between Vivendi's Universal Music Group (UMG) and Apple,' which was the claim of the Bloomberg article. Now who needs General Hospital?"

Comments

Profit!

[grub]

Every quarter that Apple posts a profit is just another nail in the coffin of that dying company.

Oh wait..

Definate rumor

[cpn2000]

A source tells me that there is the rumor about a quote (which was later denied) which when taken out of context can be construed to indicate that apple may be making a bid for Microsoft.

Dont ask dont tell!

Re:Definate rumor

[EyeSavedLatin]

That's not what I heard at all. I have a friend who works at an Apple store. And she said they got a new shipment of boxes... Big boxes! And they don't know what's inside! Her other friend there who knnows the regional manager said it was Universal Music. So there!

My mistake

[Carbonite]

I glanced at the headline and thought it said "Apple Posts Earnings, Denies Bid for Universe". Then I realized I read it incorrectly, the article was about Apple, not Microsoft.

But if you try sometimes...

[mattbot 5000]

You might find you get what you iNeed.

Re:Apple is funny company

[Golias]

2) Less competent developers.

Now now, let's be fair. There are plenty of incompetent developers in the Mac world, too.

For example, a company in Redmond, Washington released an office application suite for the Mac which is absolute horse shit.

On the bright side, since OS X groks BSD so well, it opens a whole world of Open Source software, good and bad, which are quickly getting ported over (such as GIMP and vlc), as well as others which we can compile ourselves and run via X11.

Re:in other news

[thatguywhoiam]

I wonder what how the stock of vivendi and apple changed after the LA times announced the alleged talks of apple's plan to purchase vivendi...Seems like a pretty big announcement to simply be a rumor.

Well, the stock took a big dip when the LA Times article broke, and now that it has been debunked by Jobs... they took another hit.

Thus proving that Apple really is the bastard child of stocks, as one poster pointed out in the original thread. Also, on a more personal note, it asserts my long-running suspicion that the stock market is... i had a technical term for this, what was it... oh, yes. Fucked in the head.

Apple Acquires Sandwich

[jadriaen]

From the Crazy Apple Rumors Site, another press release:

Apple Computers is pleased to announce the acquisition of a tuna fish sandwich on wheat toast with lettuce and mayonnaise.

CEO Steve Jobs said "Apple has a long history of eating sandwiches, and this one will be no exception. I won't be eating it personally, since I don't eat fish or mayonnaise, but this sandwich will help us better achieve increased market share by providing much-needed nourishment."

Apple ignited the personal computer revolution in the 1970s with the Apple II and reinvented the personal computer in the 1980s with the Macintosh. Apple is committed to bringing the best personal computing experience to its customers through its innovative hardware, software and Internet offerings.

The tuna fish sandwich is a tasty lunch treat enjoyed by people the world over.

Reaction to Apple's sandwich acquisition was mixed.

Marcus Gregory, Chief Investment Strategist for the State of California Teacher's Pension Plan, said "Our holding in Apple is predicated on the company's large cash reserves. I would hate to see those reserves frittered away on sandwich acquisitions.

"Now, granted, at the $5.75 purchase price of the tuna fish sandwich, Apple would need to acquire... five plus... carry the... well, a whole hell of a lot of sandwiches to make a dent in $5 billion, but it's the principle of thing."

Re:Not good at all...

[Anonymous Coward]

Mysterious guy: Profits are down.

Homer: That's bad.

Mysterious guy: However, profit margins are up.

Homer: That's good!

Mysterious guy: Gross sales are down.

Homer: That's bad.

Mysterious guy: The earnings filing comes with a free Frogurt!

Homer: That's good!

Mysterious guy: The Frogurt is also cursed.

Homer: That's bad.

April's Fool Joke

[RussHart]

Take a look in whois for appleuniversal.com, and find This

Hahahah!!! Tricked You!!!
April Fools
Tricked You!, HA HA HA HAHAHA
US
Domain Name: APPLEUNIVERSAL.COM

Has on-one else noticed this?

Re:My thoughts on Apple

[jamesmrankinjr]

I genuinely feel that Apple is out to make good stuff and change things for the better, while Microsoft seems more purely capitalist.

This statement is an affront to capitalism. No company tries harder to avoid capitalism than Microsoft.

Peace be with you,
-jimbo

Re:Apple is funny company

[masq]

Until this very minute, I had no idea that Carpentry Geeks existed.

I'm still not over emacs vs. vi, I don't think I can handle DeWalt vs. Makita right now.

Re:in other news

[masq]

I'm NOT an AOL user, but I am a shareholder. And thanks for bringing up such a painful subject.

Insult to injury, that comment.